Fergie’s Chewing Gum – August 22

Transient

Super Mario at The Kop!

This one took off in a hurry last night and it seems like it’s already set in stone. Mario Balotelli will join Liverpool for something around £16m from AC Milan, pending a medical. Allegedly LFC are putting a ‘good behaviour’ clause in Mario’s contract. Probably because of things like this:

Transient

You lose one world class forward famous for courting controversy and you replace him with another. Brilliant. This is great news for every single Premier League fan, regardless of allegiance. If they rush things through he may even be registered in time to play his old team Man City in the next game!

Luis Suarez Promises (Again) Not To Bite Anyone (Again)

"I say to fans, don't worry, because I won't do that anymore. I spoke to my psychologist, and he said I had to face it and say sorry. I did - now I would rather focus on the present, which is Barcelona.”

Woy ‘Odgson Encourages Englishmen to Bugger Off

Sort of. The England manager reckons more Englishmen should play overseas, since as he puts it: “more than half” of his international squad cannot be guaranteed a start at their club side. That’s a pretty big issue when you’re asking guys used to being role players in their day jobs to suddenly assume a key place in the national side. There is currently one Englishman playing in La Liga (Charlie l’Anson at Alcoron) and one in Serie A (Ashley Cole for Roma). As far as it figures, none play in the top leagues of France or Germany. England picked one player based outside of the homeland for the World Cup, and that was reserve keeper Fraser Forster, who has since moved to Southampton. Woy’s got a point.

All White on the Move

Nobody Wants to Manage Palace

First Tony Pulis left after an apparent falling out with the Crystal Palace chairman. Next Malky Mackay got all embroiled in a racist text row from his time at Cardiff and has taken himself out of the running (and the recipient/enabler/fellow messenger, former Cardiff Head of Recruitment, Iain Moody has resigned from his current role with Palace). Then Tim Sherwood said he didn’t want it either. Might be time to meet up with Pulis with the ol’ tail between the legs.

But On That Malky Thing

Yeah so as alluded to above, Malky Mackay said some naughty things in SMS-conversation with Iain Moody. Mackay had a notoriously rough relationship with Vincent Tan (who’s a bit of a Mr Burns himself) while managing Cardiff, and the Welsh club has reported the pair to the FA. Statements have been released and texts have been leaked. We won’t stoop so low as to print them ourselves, but we will screenshot some less dignified sources willing to do just that.

Daily Mail

Daily Mail

What do you know, aye? Middle-aged white men acting like entitled bastards.

Here Are Some Tweets

Santi Cazorla Gets It In The Face

Man Quits Job to Provide Man Utd Tweets… Fails Miserably