The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - Week 3
Last Week: 4/10
Overall: 8/20
Tottenham Hotspur vs Liverpool
11.30pm Saturday (NZT)
In the old days, this was a classic fixture. Spurs vs Liverpool, flaky old Spurs against Liv(in’ in the Past)erpool. Goals and more goals, like in 2013-14 when Luis Suarez inspired the Reds to 4-0 and 5-0 wins over Spurs. Or back in 2011 when Spurs beat the Reds 4-0. There’ve been 3-2 wins in there in the last few years as well… but last season it was two draws, 0-0 and 1-1. A little boring there, given that both are pretty decent these days. The scoreless draw was Jurgen Klopp’s first game, I remember it coz I came home intoxicated that night and took pages of notes on my phone but forgot about them when I woke up and ended writing about it from sloppy memory. Then a few weeks later I stumbled on this complete list of notes and it was like stumbling on some lost Ernest Hemingway manuscript... only with heaps of spelling errors and no possible use for it anymore.
The 1-1 saw Coutinho’s goal after half time cancelled out by a Harry Kane effort.
So what does the Wildcard reckon, you ask? That’s why you’re here, I s’pose. Okay, Liverpool haven’t lost to Spurs since 2012 when Gareth Bale scored. That’s holding me back a bit, as is that Spurs haven’t looked especially potent in their first couple games. Liverpool have looked like a team that’ll score plenty and concede plenty. Spurs are maybe the opposite so that’s a spanner right there. Which wins out?
With Liverpool, they need you to push forward against them for them to create the space they’re trying to work. Burnley sat deep and they couldn’t get through. Spurs are a team that will send fellas forward but they also have a set central defence and a couple of midfielders that work hard and cover a lot of ground. No Red midfielder is winning an arm wrestle with Victor Wanyama, lock that one in. With Kyle Walker and Erik Lamela running at whoever gets to play left back for Liverpool, I kinda like that idea.
Funny story, this will be Liverpool’s fourth straight away game to start the season, including their EFL Cup win over Burton. Anfield’s getting some plastic surgery and can’t take the plasters off for another week or so. Doubt it’s that much fun playing away over and over again, even if the travel is hardly Moscow and back. After the break they get a home one vs Leicester and then play away to Chelsea. This is a bloody difficult start to the season, especially after losing to Burnley. Damn, Jurgen.
Wildcard’s Pick: Spurs 2-0
Watford vs Arsenal
2.00am Sunday (NZT)
Ah, nobody rants like an Arsenal fan rants. NOT ENOUGH TRANSFERS, WENGER OUT, NO SOUL, TICKET PRICES TOO HIGH, BAD RESULTS, SOFT PLAYERS, YADAYADAYADA. Even Patrick Vieira is chatting rough to them, which must be the quickest emerging trend in football media: legendary players trashing their old clubs. Chelsea and Man Utd sure got a lot of that last season.
Look, this might be Wenger’s last season anyway and you can ask both those two clubs what it’s like when a controlling manager leaves and how that goes in the short term. Arsenal, here we go… will not make the Champions League next season if Wenger isn’t there. They might not make it this season either but we’ll wait and see. It doesn’t really look like Leicester are gonna repeat unless Vardy finds his form, while Liverpool’s defence is no better than Arsenal’s (in fact it’s worse now that Koscielny is back). But even if Spurs are yet to make a statement, they’re solid and the Manchesters and Chelsea look really, really imperiously good…
But it’s also a proper point that Arsenal have had two tough games to begin with. Home to a Liverpool side that’s looking like it’ll at least be pretty ruthless against the top sides with how quickly they can transition into attack. When they’re up against a Burnley team with 10/11 men back and only 19% possession it’s a different matter but against a team like Arsenal, the Reds are going to be dangerous on the break. And then the Gunners played the defending champs for a 0-0 draw. Arsenal were the only team to beat Leicester twice last season but that’s irregardless. Meanwhile Man United have played Bournemouth away and Southampton at home and Man City had it even easier with Sunderland and Stoke. Chelsea needed late goals to win each of theirs.
It all clears up this week where the Gunners get to play at Watford, a team that just tumbled out of the EFL Cup with a midweek defeat to Gillingham at home. That is not the result of a team to fear, regardless of who played and who didn’t. Watford might be the worst team in the Premier League at this moment. Guts to Troy Deeney, the champ. He’s like 10kg overweight but he’s a dynamo on the park, no worries there.
So… it’s not been good to date, fam. But that’s okay, Arsenal can overcome this, blood. No panic, fam. The season starts here, blood.
Hey but Aaron Ramsey’s new haircut, aye?
Wildcard’s Pick: Arsenal 3-0
Chelsea vs Burnley
2.00am Sunday (NZT)
I’d like to steer clear of talking about Andre Gray’s old tweets here, not only was he much younger when he was out there tweeting like a maniac but he was also playing at a much lower level and there are plenty of lower league battlers who say things just as inflammatory – let alone the fans whose levels of offensiveness are beyond control.
First of all, the way to deal with that stuff is not to make him a public example and criminalise him but to use this incident as the impetus to educate the greater public (and especially footballers) that being an ignorant arsehole is not the way to go. Gray’s been charged with misconduct and deserves a fine and some charity work, nothing more. This incident is not an isolated thing where you can throw the book and end it. It’s symptomatic of the larger football community and this here is an opportunity to bring change.
But then in a weird contrast, the US women’s team just suspended Hope Solo for six months for being a sore loser after they were beaten at the Olympics in a shootout by Sweden.
U.S. Soccer: “Beyond the athletic arena, and beyond the results, the Olympics celebrate and represent the ideals of fair play and respect. We expect all of our representatives to honor those principles, with no exceptions.”
They spelled ‘honour’ wrong, but let’s not poke holes. To be honest, this will be more of a case of wiping the slate of a 35 year old goalie who wasn’t at her best during the tournament, won’t be around for the next one and seems to be a general pest to deal with. Because six months for being snotty is ridiculous.
I'm tentatively ready to say Eden Hazard is back... but we'll give it another few weeks.
Wildcard’s Pick: Chelsea 2-1, seems to work
Crystal Palace vs Bournemouth
2.00am Sunday (NZT)
It’s always interesting to hear what teammates have to say about a new signing at a club. Like, they’re footballers so they tend not to be the most quotable bunch but often you can read a lot into the few PR-filtered words that we do get. Generally positive stuff about competition for places and the ambition of the club. It’s also interesting who says what, given a new player in one position probably means whoever player there prior is in a bit of trouble to hold their place and all that. But mostly it’s all glowing stuff and casual praise.
For example, when Paul Pogba was about to be unveiled by MUFC and someone actually got Wayne Rooney to comment on it: "I hope he is going to want to return to United and prove he's a top-class player. If he is excited to play for us, we'll be excited to have him back. I'm sure he'll feel there is unfinished business, and it would be a very big statement by the club if they can make it happen."
Normally nobody speaks on these things so once Wayne broke the silence you knew it was legit.
Crystal Palace have just signed Christian Benteke from Liverpool, a desperately needed striker and one who at his best could turn this club around and onto the right axis. I, for one, am a big fan of this club record transfer and reckon Bentekkers will be excited to again get regular football, could have plenty to prove and that this was a very big statement by the club to make it happen.
Damien Delaney on the other hand…: “We’re not signing Messi. He’s a good player but he’s not a player who is going to get the ball and make things happen. We've got to work on the midfield players, wide players, defenders, full-backs and have better service and a better way about us. He brings a presence, he's a handful, but Connor Wickham is as well. It's time we stop talking about things and go and win games.”
Christian Benteke – He’s not Messi.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1
Everton vs Stoke City
2.00am Sunday (NZT)
You know what else this week is? It’s the last set of games before the transfer window ends and there’s an international window straight after it. It always amazes how these highly organised teams can leave all their important work to the last minute but then maybe, thinking back on all those assignments that I all-nightered, maybe I shouldn’t be the one to talk. Here’s a player I’d like to see transferred to each Premier League team:
Arsenal – Literally any defender, though Shkodran Mustafi would be a goodie
Bournemouth – Tell ya what, Joe Hart here would be fun.
Burnley – A midfielder from somewhere. Ideally experienced. Is Cesc Fabregas available? Otherwise Jeff Hendrick is still at Derby and they’e already shown interest.
Chelsea – Gotta be a defender here too, ideally a young one. Maksimovic or Romagnoli sound perfect.
Crystal Palace – They’ve got their striker, now another winger to set him up would be good. Like… Robbie Brady, another Irishman who should be in the PL.
Everton – Depends if Lukaku stays but assuming he does, pushing through that Lamine Kone thing is clever. Assuming he doesn’t then get Wilfried Bony in on loan.
Hull – Ryan Mason needs out of Spurs and Hull can spare a place for him. There ya go.
Leicester – Another defender to cover the old fellas they rely on makes the most sense… but call me crazy I’d rather see Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain here. Free the Ox.
Liverpool – As much as they should join the queue for a CB, Jonas Hector at LB is more pressing.
Manchester City – Probably no-one. Unless we count Claudio Bravo, which is happening.
Manchester United – They’re set. Save the last spot for an academy grad, Jose.
Middlesbrough – I dunno, I like Boro’s squad. Maybe a ball winner like… say, what’s Jack Wilshere up to these days?
Southampton – Do you think Dan Sturridge would rather play for a team where he can start at centre forward every week? I think I’m getting increasingly unrealistic.
Stoke – I’ve got them elsewhere too but either Berahino or Bony would go well.
Sunderland – David Moyes, right? So take your pick from Marouane Fellaini, Leighton Baines, Kevin Mirallas, Phil Jagielka, Ashley Young, Jonny Evans or Steven Pienaar. Oh, wait, they’ve already got one of those.
Swansea – Welsh hero Hal Robson-Kanu is still clubless. Sign him up fellas!
Tottenham – Georges-Kévin N’Koudou should be a better version of Clinton N’Jie.
Watford – Fabian Delph would be an interesting one. On his Villa form anyway.
West Brom – Oh mate. Get Mario Balotelli in on loan, working with Pulis. How good would that be!?
West Ham – A few teams are in for him… but I’d like to see Saido Berahino here.
Wildcard’s Pick: Everton 2-1
Leicester City vs Swansea City
2.00am Sunday (NZT)
Like I said, Jamie Vardy’s form has been pretty bad. He’s chucking chances he was burying last season, dunno if that’s coz he’s a Harry Kane type who takes a few games to get into the season or if maybe last season is impossible to replicate and Leicester had better get used to that. The good news is that Ahmed Musa is amazing, but he needs that fella to bang them in for him. With one point from a possible six, they’re already five points down on the top but this is a game they should be able to win. The Swans could really struggle this time. Jeez, that’s a downer. Best cheer ourselves up with some of this:
Wildcard’s Pick: Leicester 2-0
Southampton vs Sunderland
2.00am Sunday (NZT)
David Moyes: “The quality of the players that Sunderland can get is probably not what I’ve been buying in the last six years, or what I’ve had in the Premier League – not anywhere close to it.”
Says the guy who bought Marouane Fellaini and Steven Pienaar twice.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 Saints
Hull City vs Manchester United
4.30am Sunday (NZT)
I get the feeling that we might be about to see the first example of Jose Mourinho cutting loose as he sells half the youth team and the fringe players on deadline day despite saying he’d find a place for them once the fixtures pile up. For now, it’s been smart enough. Adnan Januzaj needs first team footy, as does Cam Borthwick-Jackson. A few others could use loan outs as well. But it’d be interesting to see if the likes of Bastian Schweinsteiger, Phil Jones, Marcos Rojo, Matteo Darmian, Ashley Young, Andreas Pereira and others are still there in a week or two. It’s been so far so good for Jose, so he might have earned enough goodwill to make some cuts.
Hull City have been the surprise of the season so far, though beating Swansea and Leicester may not prepare them for this. Mike Phelan’s old team as well, should be fun. I can see Hull jumping the gun and giving him a full time deal which would be well deserved on his part but I sorta reckon this club needs an outsider to come in and shake things up. No way this early form lasts at all.
Of course, there’s another reason to cheer against the Tigers:
Just like Robbie Savage hitches himself to the Class of ’92 wagon, he’s now hitching himself to the Gary Lineker’s Undies wagon. Give it a break, ya muppet.
I mean knobhead.
Also, you may wanna know that I used my transfer wildcard and brought Zlatan into my Fantasy PL team. Not wasting anymore weeks without him in there, no way.
Wildcard’s Pick: United 3-1
West Bromwich Albion vs Middlesbrough
12.30am Monday (NZT)
The Boro’s dressing room team photo after beating Sunderland is one of those ‘When You See It…’ situations…
Definitely a risky sliding tackle that one. Can’t say he doesn’t have cojones. Adam Clayton with the through ball. Okay, I’ll stop.
Minus points to his midfield partner Adam Forshaw for the finger point drawing attention to it as well. That’s weak, son.
Hehehe
Wildcard’s Pick: 0-0
Manchester City vs West Ham United
3.00am Monday (NZT)
And here we have Pep’s first proper challenge as City manager. Up against West Ham on the back of their best season in ages and after a redeeming late winner against Bournemouth that ought to kick start their season. Except that…
- Andy Carroll – Out for another month
- Andre Ayew – Out until December
- Dimitri Payet – In doubt
- Sofiane Feghouli – Out at least one more game
- Aaron Cresswell – Out two months
- Manuel Lanzini – Out another game
- Diafra Sakho – Out indefinitely
Which gives a decent glimpse as to why they’ve started slowly. With Europa League footy possibly coming up (gambling on the second leg result there), they could use a bit more luck. Meanwhile City have so many good players they’re taking their time to ease them all in. Gotta be close to seeing Ilkay Gundogan and Leroy Sane get their starts after minor injuries.
But Joe Hart’s on his way out. And if City fans honestly feel like they have to pick and choose between Joe Boy and Pep then I’m baffled. Sell the bugger to Stoke and lets move on.
Wildcard’s Pick: City 2-0