Dear Cousin Tjastik,
It's been a while cuzzie, how ya been? I would ask you if Slovenia are in Euro 2016 but I won't even pretend like I care as I've been inside this sporting bubble that doesn't allow me to concern myself with football.
Luckily my comrade the Wildcard is an expert, so if you wanted some Euro 2016 coverage from a kiwi perspective then have a look at his recent work.
We traded a few txts during the All Blacks' win over Wales this weekend, I feel your pain on trying to stream the rugby. Let's be honest though as that's what you've gotta expect when you're living out in the bush! Don't worry, there'll be super swift internet everywhere soon enough.
I've gotta admit though that you pissed me off by laying down your excitement about England's challenge to the All Blacks throne. You've obviously been reading some silly media words that have hyped this storyline up and I certainly think that there's daylight between the All Blacks and the rest of the rugby world, this isn't about the All Blacks though.
England have been decent in two Test wins in Australia, while Australia have been crap Tjastik. There's many good vibes coming from England and they've got a coach who does a great job in orchestrating a sideshow, distracting us all from the actual England rugby players, yet they've done nothing more than beat up an Australian team who have gone backwards.
Going backwards in international sport is far from ideal Tjastik.
I'm a bit confused though as I refuse to make any further judgement on Australia or South Africa, even Argentina until they all compete with the All Blacks and each other in the Rugby Championship. The European nations have come down here on the back of the Six Nations while all the teams from the southern part of the globe have recently come together, rolling through new combinations in their first Tests since the World Cup.
Think of all the change that comes after a World Cup and put yourself in the boots of the Aussies. They've lost some quality, brought in some new blokes and boom, a confident England have arrived.
Let's not tell the Six Nations teams that these Tests are warm ups for the Rugby Championship, we'll just keep that to ourselves.
Honestly, these are Tests in which new combinations are being tested ahead of the Rugby Championship. To say that Australian rugby is in trouble, or that South African rugby is heading down a path that ventures away from 'International Rugby Powerhouse' after two Tests following a World Cup is so dumb. Don't be dumb Tjastik.
Let me get all arrogant kiwi rugby fan on ya Tjastik - us kiwis aren't arrogant buggers very often.
While we can't judge the All Blacks until the Rugby Championship and if I'm pouring cold water on hot-takes about England, Australia and South Africa, it would be silly of me to tell the world how much better the All Blacks are than the rest of the world ... after two games.
What is important to note though is that all signs point to the All Blacks picking up from where they left off in that World Cup final.
By this Tjastik, I mean that the blueprint is still there for the All Blacks.
The All Blacks still have the most players with x-factor.
The All Blacks still play rugby at a ruthless tempo.
The All Blacks still combine razzle dazzle skill with a solid set-piece.
The All Blacks still pack the most punch on their bench.
The All Black still push boundaries, they're still ahead of the curve.
The All Blacks still have the best depth.
The All Blacks still have the most players I reckon are the world's best in their position; Dane Coles, Brodie Rettalick, Kieran Read, Jerome Kaino, Aaron Smith and I'd take a Ben Smith/Israel Dagg/Waisake Naholo over any other back three combination.
And us kiwis still find place to have a whinge and moan mate. We're a miserable bunch.
I'll be in touch soon Tjastik,