Last Week: 10-3

Cincinnati Bengals (6-2) at Miami Dolphins (3-4)

Cincy are about where people thought they’d be, and Andy Dalton is earning his paycheques, while Miami are at a crossroads having blown it against New England last week. The ‘Fins have ceded all control in the division to the Pats. They need to win this. Maybe they will too, the Bengals aren’t quite as flash as their record. And what do you do down at the crossroads? Either you try to flag a ride (a couple Dalton interceptions?) or you sell your soul to the devil. Dan Marino tried the latter, it didn’t work.

Wildcard’s Pick: Miami sneak a cheeky win. Dolphs by 3

Kansas City Chiefs (8-0) at Buffalo Bills (3-5)

Hmmm, another upset? …Nah. KC is gonna lose one soon, but not this time. Look for a 210 yd passing game from Smithy and 20 plus rushes from Jamaal “Don’t Snarl” Charles.

Wildcard’s Pick: Chiefs by 10

Tennessee Titans (3-4) at St Louis Rams (3-5)

Is this a must win for both teams? Even at the halfway stage, maybe it is. The difference is that the Rams have lost their QB, while the Titans have just got theirs back. And Jake Locker is pretty good.

Wildcard’s Pick: Titans by 6

Minnesota Vikings (1-6) at Dallas Cowboys (4-4)

This is a great game for Dallas after their heartbreaker against Detroit. The Vikings are awful. We’re expecting Christian Ponder to get the start for at least this week, and I think it’s clear after last week, that maybe we underestimate Ponder’s talent. The thing is, the Vikings suck across the board (bar Peterson). This is a no-hoper position. Dallas has a favourable schedule for the back half, and has been torching NFC East rivals, so their playoff hopes weren’t exactly damaged in the loss to Detroit – if they can’t win this division, then they shouldn’t be in the postseason at all.

Wildcard’s Pick: Dallas by 15

New Orleans Saints (6-1) at New York Jets (4-4)

Finally, the Jets will fall back to a losing record where they belong. I’m so far in on these Saints it’s ridiculous. All Drew Brees needs is a 25% healthy Jimmy Graham and he’s good for 4TDs. And now that they have an above average defence, this team is at least going to the Conference Champs. Anything less and Louis Armstrong will be rolling over his trumpet in his grave. (Oh, and this game doubles as a Ryan Bowl. No, wait… I mean a: Ryan Bowl.)

Wildcard’s Pick: Saints by 17

San Diego Chargers (4-3) at Washington Professional Football Team (2-5)

RGIII is slowly getting back to where he was last year. If he wants an example of someone who’s recovered from a career slump, then he need look no further than the man who’s gonna torch his defence this week. Phil Rivers is back to his very best under new coach Mike McCoy, with a passer rating of 111.1, second only to Peyton Manning, and Rivers’ completion percentage (73.9%) is numero uno. This against a defensive unit conceding the second most points in the league.

Wildcard’s Pick: Chargers by 7

Atlanta Falcons (2-5) at Carolina Panthers (4-3)

Why are we calling him Riverboat Ron? Because he’s a gambler? Dim the lights…

“On a warm summer’s evenin’

On a traaaain bound for nowheeere

I met uuup wiiith the gamblerrrr

We were both too tired to sleep…”

Wildcard’s Pick: Carolina by 3 – Atlanta will beat themselves

Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) at Oakland Raiders (3-4)

Nick Foles is starting for Philly. But which Nick Foles? The one who destroyed the Buccs or the one who was humiliated by Dallas? Oakland are pretty good at home (3-1 vs 0-3 away), and Terrelle Pryor is worth watching. He’s no “Techmo” Bo Jackson, but then nobody could ever match Techmo Bo. Philly’s season is slipping away before their eyes…

Wildcard’s Pick: Raiders by 4

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-7) at Seattle Seahawks (7-1)

Oh, God. Winless Buccs vs Unbeatable-at-home ‘Hawks. I believe Colonel Kurtz said it best. “The horror” indeed.

Wildcard’s Pick: Seahawks by 20

Baltimore Ravens (3-4) at Cleveland Browns (3-5)

The defending champs aren’t up to much in 2013. But at least they have a quarterback. They’ve finally got guys coming back now, having suffered a ridiculous number of injuries so far, but unless those guys are Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, there won’t be a Superbowl encore in February. Playoffs are still a possibility though.

Wildcard’s Pick: I keep meaning to make an Edgar Allen Poe reference with the Ravens. Eh, this’ll do. Ravens by 7

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-5) at New England Patriots (6-2)

Big Ben Roethlisberger says that his opposing QB this week, Tom Brady, is still the best in the business. Maybe not, but Tommy’s got plenty in the tank, as he proved last week. His arm strength is definitely fading, though, and he’s getting wobbly with long passes. Interesting fact: Three weeks ago David Ortiz hit a postseason HR for the Red Sox on the same day that Tom Brady threw a TD pass for the Patriots. On the previous two times that happened, the Red Sox went on to win the World Series and the Pats made the Superbowl. Well, the Red Sox just won the World Series…

Wildcard’s Pick: New England edge a sloppy one by 10

Indianapolis Colts (5-2) at Houston Texans (2-5)

Case Keenum is a decent QB prospect, he looked flash in his debut (not throwing a pick-6 helped), which leaves the Texans with a tough decision when Matt Schaub comes back. Neither of them can lay a finger on Andrew Luck though. What a miserable season this has been for Houston. At least they have the Rockets, I guess.

Wildcard’s Pick: Colts by 7

Chicago Bears (4-3) at Green Bay Packers (5-2)

Chicago is deceivingly bad, and without Jay Cutler, they don’t really stand a chance against Aaron Rodgers and the rampant Packers (That sounds like a euphemism, but it’s not.  Grow up.).

Wildcard’s Pick: Green Bay all the way. Pack by 10

BYE: Denver Broncos (7-1), New York Giants (2-6), Arizona Cardinals (4-4), San Francisco 49ers (6-2), Jacksonville Jaguars (0-8), Detroit Lions (5-3)

The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. For legal purposes, we cannot reveal his name. Not that we know it anyway. His NFL picks are delivered anonymously via unmarked snail mail, and written entirely in newspaper clippings. No fingerprints. Why, he could be any stranger that walks amongst you. Anyone at all… (or maybe you could just check the author’s name at the top of the page).