Last Week: 8-5

Minnesota Vikings (2-2) at Green Bay Packers (2-2)

It took a month longer than it should have, but the era of Teddy Bridgewater in Minnesota seems to now be upon us. And in his first start against Atlanta he gave us a nice, condensed version of how things are set to unfold: Some initial questions, a lot of running out of trouble, some quality passes, a fan base won over entirely… then an injury to cut it short.

It’s the same career path RG3 has followed and then repeated over and over. I like Teddy’s potential as a passer a little more though, and hopefully he can avoid the collateral damage that has derailed Master Griffin. But he’s definitely a mobile fella. If he’s wise he’ll watch every highlight he can find of Russell Wilson.

Ah, but in the end there’s just no way I’m picking a rookie QB in Green Bay against Aaron Rodgers. Not after what the cheeseheads, and their double-checking leader, did last week.

Wildcard’s Pick: Packers by 10

Buffalo Bills (2-2) at Detroit Lions (3-1)

This week in hilarious injuries suffered by Detroit Lions players:

Wow. Just, wow.

Tell ya what though, their luck may not have changed much but their attitude has. The last couple of weeks these Lions have ground out victories in games that they surely would have lost in the past. They beat Aaron Rodgers for the first (legitimate) time ever and then most recently they overcame the fact that Calvin Johnson only had 12 receiving yards to beat the Jets. They were 0-6 in games that Megatron has had <20 catch yards.

The Kansas City Royals just snapped a generation-long playoff drought, is this the season that the Lions finally win a postseason game? (Editor: Hold your horses there, Wildy)

Wildcard’s Pick: Lions by 10

Baltimore Ravens (3-1) at Indianapolis Colts (2-2)

Here’s a good game: Two strong offensive teams with a few flaws to cover up and plenty to prove. 35 year old Steve Smith isn’t gonna keep up the same pace, nor is Reggie Wayne capable of leading the league in receiving yards for 2014. Good thing they each have a bunch of good young fellas ready to take the mantle.

Shout out to Reggie Wayne though for his 200th regular season game last week. Just the 17th active player to do so and the third to ever reach that mark entirely for the Colts (Peyton and Unitas). While his old buddy P.Manning is breaking records all over the place, don’t sleep on Wayne as a Hall of Famer. He’s in the top 10 all time for receiving yards and receptions and could make his way even higher with a good season.

This could be a tight game, and I like Andrew Luck in a tight game.

Wildcard’s Pick: Colts by 3

Cleveland Browns (1-2) at Tennessee Titans (1-3)

Wildcard’s Pick: Titans by 4

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2) at Jacksonville Jaguars (0-4)

Wanna hear a funny story? I just wrote Pisstburgh accidentally. Talk about your Freudian Slips, eh? Coz I watched that Steelers game last week against the Buccs and they were most definitely piss.

Not as piss as the Jaguars though.

Wildcard’s Pick: Steelers by 14

Atlanta Falcons (2-2) at New York Giants (2-2)

This has shootout written all over it. Long passes and lonely running backs. Cornerbacks diving in vain, wide receivers drunk on power…

How about that Larry Donnell? 3 TDs against the R**skins last week, I’d never even heard of the guy. And I watch the Giants fairly regularly on account of my undying hate for them and the bi-seasonal clashes with the Cowboys.

Funny story: Donnell benched himself in his fantasy team last week (we’d all draft ourselves if we could, let’s be honest) in favour of Vernon Davis… and lost because of it. See this is why I stopped playing fantasy NFL. Too many bittersweet wins.

The Falcons put 50 on Tampa Bay one week, then lost to Minnesota the next. Meanwhile Tampa recovers to beat the Steelers. This league is too much.

Wildcard’s Pick: Falcons by 9

Chicago Bears (2-2) at Carolina Panthers (2-2)

I like the probability of Alshon Jeffrey and Brandon Marshall having a big day. I hate the prospect of Cam Newton’s hurt ankle. The Panthers ability/inability to force turnovers will be the difference in this one. They had 6 in their opening two wins, 0 in the two losses since. Meanwhile the two games Jay Cutler has gone un-intercepted, the Bears won.

Wildcard’s Pick: Bears by 3

Houston Texans (3-1) at Dallas Cowboys (3-1)

Look at that. A Cowboys running back at the top of the list and it’s not even close!

The first half of the game against the Saints was the best half of football I’ve ever seen the Cowboys play. They’re 3-1 for the first time since 2008 and for the first time I can remember they’re playing from in front. I can’t get too excited because that’s always when the Cowboys let you down, but I love what they’re doing. Scott Linehan coaching the passing game and calling running plays - it’s working. Plus I don’t know what’s up with that defence but they actually seem pliable these days.

Wildcard’s Pick: Cowboys by 6

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3) at New Orleans Saints (1-3)

1-3 teams have a 15% chance of making the playoffs. 1-4 and that drops to 5%. This is a massive game for the New Orleans Saints who have a realistically playoff calibre team, while the Buccs, eh who cares? They beat Pittsburgh but that only happened because of a bunch of Steelers choke-ups. The muffed punt, the failure to stop Mike Glennon… I like Glennon but he’s raw. All things being equal and the Saints should win this easy. Rob Ryan’s blitz-heavy defence is very high risk/high reward. Against Tony Romo it failed miserably, on account of he can do this:

Against a second year QB with accuracy issues, I’m picking high reward.

Wildcard’s Pick: Saints by 18

St Louis Rams (1-2) at Philadelphia Eagles (3-1)

I normally write the first few of these things while listening to Bill Simmons’ BS Report poddy where he guesses the lines with that Kimmel Show fella (Letterman>Fallon>Kimmel). Except that now he’s suspended for calling Roger Goodell a liar and I’m missing out on two or three really well paraphrased (but technically stolen) NFL opinions. So if I sound less perceptive than normal it’s because I’m not cheating. And if I sound just as perceptive as usual? I dunno, I can’t explain that. Maybe I’ve had my genes spliced or something. That’d explain the overwhelming urge I’m feeling lately to take over the world…

Wildcard’s Pick: Eagles by enough

Arizona Cardinals (3-0) at Denver Broncos (2-1)

Look at this man. A man like any other. White, late 30s. He sits by the pool, adorned in a helmet and bathing suit, tapping and swiping at an iPad. He is a picture of dedication in a profession in which sacrifices are a necessity. He stands out amongst his peers, not just in attitude, but also in talent and results. See, there is no great secret behind his success. He was blessed with ability and opportunity and has long since put in his 10,000 hours. His father was a quarterback. His younger brother is a quarterback.

He is a quarterback.

This week he and his teammates will host a professional franchise from Arizona. An unbeaten franchise from Arizona. Hence he sits alone, long after all others have left and gone home, devising a keen strategy to ensure victory on the coming Sunday. It does not matter that the opponents are yet to lose a game this season, he does this every week. No matter the occasion, he practises and he prepares to win.

And he usually does.

Wildcard’s Pick: Broncos by 6

Kansas City Chiefs (2-2) at San Francisco 49ers (2-2)

Ooh, this is a tough one. Two teams with very mixed starts to the year, both with designs on a playoff run. Yet as much as anything this is a personal duel between Alex Smith and the man who replaced him at the 49ers, C.Kaepernick.

San Fran nearly lost to the Eagles despite barely letting them into their own half. That was down to return TDs and you’ve gotta assume that those are not brewing any sort of pattern. Take that away and you’ve got two good rushing teams, two very decent passing teams and two juggernaut defences. Granted the SF49 one is pretty short on deckhands these days.

I still can’t explain the Titans loss week 1 for the Chiefs, but I’m willing to ignore it as an outlier. Even still, the 49ers shut down LeSean McCoy pretty well so they can probably do what the Patriots couldn’t to these Chiefs backs too. Once you force Alex Smith to pass deep, you expose him, and the 49ers will know every weakness he has.

Wildcard’s Pick: 49ers by 7

New York Jets (1-3) at San Diego Chargers (3-1)

A very tinny, single point loss to Arizona in the first game is all that’s keeping San Diego from a quarter season of perfection. This shouldn’t even be close.

Wildcard’s Pick: Chargers by heaps

Cincinnati Bengals (3-0) at New England Patriots (2-2)

This is a problem for the New England Patriots. Their two wins were gimmes, and their two losses were awful. Getting run over by the Dolphins was one thing, but the Chiefs dominated them in every conceivable manner. Yes, including at quarterback. I love Tom Brady, but when was the last time he made a confident and accurate long throw? Probably that one Wes Welker dropped in the Superbowl.

The Pats offensive line is, well, offensive (in the insulting use of the word, not the attacking use). Plus injuries to a few playmakers and a fit but off the pace Gronkowski and things look grim. The defence that was meant to be so much better this season simply isn’t. Oh, they’ll still make the playoffs. With the division they’re in, of course they will (with at least 3 wins out of 4 against the Jets/Bills).

However this week they come up against the most impressive non-Conference Championship defending team in the league: the Cincinnati Bengals. El Tigre de Naranja is still yet to be sacked this season.  

Wildcard’s Pick: Bengals by 10

Seattle Seahawks (2-1) at Washington Pro Football Team (1-3)

Kirk Cousins was picked off 4 times against the New York Giants. He doesn’t stand a chance against Seattle. No amount of home field advantage in the world is saving the WPFT. They could play this game in the backyard of the White House and Marshawn Lynch would still leave skittle-trails in his dust.

Wildcard’s Pick: Seahawks by 12

BYE: Miami Dolphins (2-2) & Oakland Raiders (0-4)

The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. He is currently using the proceeds from this NFL column to fund his legal fees as he mounts a case against AMC and the creators of Breaking Bad for ripping off the story of his life. Initial reaction suggests that the lawsuit is misguided…