First things first, I hereby promise that this is the last time you’ll see me dedicating an entire entry to All-Star weekend – but there are always so many tasty (and not so tasty) tid bits to take away from the shenanigans. Plus, it’ll help take your mind off the disaster that was the Warriors semi-final loss in the Nines.

So, how did ya’ll enjoy All Star weekend anyway? Good? Bad? Ugly? I certainly think there were parts to the festivities that fit all these descriptors. Effort levels may have stayed at their historically low standards (Joe Johnson seemingly doing the shootout in slow motion, for example) but nonetheless, the results are often pretty exciting from an entertainment standpoint. So, in chronological order, let’s digest the weekend that was...

What the Celebrity game lacked in actual celebrities, it made up for in exciting play and a surprisingly high quality of basketball. With the exceptions of Wale, Kevin Hart and that fat Mike, everyone seemed like they actually knew what they were doing – first time viewers may take this for granted, but trust me, it isn’t always the case. Speaking of Kevin, didn’t I say he’d undeservedly get the Celeb MVP over my boy Arne Duncan? Mad props to him for handing the trophy over, but even madder props to Arne for his filthy behind the head pass – that’s what balling with Barack at the FBI building will do for your game. A bevy of blonde stunners certainly made the game easy on the eyes too...

Next up, not to blow my own horn too much, but after the Rising Stars game all my predictions had come off – Drummond absolutely dominated (25 rebounds... are you serious?!) and Team Hill took home the honours. Highlight of the night was definitely the crazy 1 on 1 duel between Tim Hardaway Jr and Dion “I’m fat and usually shoot bricks” Waiters, or perhaps it was the fact that the Plumlee brothers made me eat my words when they proved to actually be some of the most athletic players out there. Like the Celeb game, the fact this one was close throughout made it so much better to watch, as it meant that it didn’t degenerate into the impromptu dunk contest/3 point shootout that it often does. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the dunks... but wildly athletic blocks also float my boat. Either way, it was a great game and if you think otherwise you were probably watching the wrong channel.

My predictions then fell apart, so I hope none of you out there lost any fat stacks after taking my advice down to the TAB. Few, and by few I mean absolutely no one, would have picked Marco Bellinelli to take out the 3 point contest – advice that seemed particularly sage after he airballed 2 shots in the first round. In classic slippery Italian fashion he somehow managed to pull it out though, but even after seeing it with my own eyes I’m unsure how he beat guys like Steph Curry. His post-win interview seemed to explain his unfazed attitude (one he seems to share with countryman Andrea Bargnani – do Italians just not care that much?) though, as in broken English he gave the invaluable answer that his secret to winning was “I shot the ball”. Shooting the ball in a 3 point contest – is this advice so simple it’s genius, or just the result of a simple mind? For the amusement I got from this answer alone I’m willing to accept my poor predictions  and maybe next year the other contestants will follow this wise mans words and just “shoot the ball”.

Unfortunately after all the excitement of a sudden death shootout, the dunk contest was perhaps the worst thing I’ve seen at All-Star weekend since I started watching. Some of the dunks were undoubtedly electrifying, but the main problem was there actually weren’t that many dunks to be had. In fact, the whole thing raised so many questions that I don’t really know where to start – why did the judges need iPads to display a single word? Who was Barnes trying to fool with his 2K14 gimmick?  How could the public possibly have time to fairly award the best individual dunker when the award was given seconds after the final dunk? Why did neither the dunkers nor the announcers seem to know that there wasn’t a second round? And most importantly, who is it that got paid millions to organise such a clusterfuck? This whole thing reeked of the NBA trying too hard to refresh the event, but when there is such a talented pool of contestants they really need to just let the dunks speak for themselves. Just thinking of it makes me irrationally angry so I think it’s best for the sake of my health that I leave it there, and simply say that at least John Wall was recognised for his best of the night dunk over the impossibly creepy Wizards He-Man-esque mascot.

Last but certainly not least, the All-Star game itself was certainly the pinnacle of the weekend and continued the trend of upsets. It somehow managed to combine the teams getting the record for most points in an ASG with a real defensive edge in the 4th, so fans really got the best of both worlds in terms of offense and defence. This year truly marked the passing of the torch from the era of guys like Kobe, Timmy D and KG to the young bloods like Kyrie and Blake Griffin, as evidenced by the impressive ability of Tony Parker and Dirk Nowitzki to seemingly completely disappear from the game (Dirk was even the only guy not to score). I thought the West was going to win in a blowout, but questionable lineup choices (putting Harden back in at the end – Scott Brooks perhaps showing some favouritism to his ex-player there) and the improbable partnership of Joakim Noah and LeBron (are there two guys who hate each other more in the league? You’d be hard pressed to find them) meant that the East ground it out. A downright silly number of threes, a healthy smattering of alley-oops and a suitably impressive display of handles by Kyrie – who might be the smoothest handler in the league- meant that this game will certainly live on in the memories of fans, even if other elements of the weekend seem destined for the scrap heap.

Stud: Although Blake Griffin proved my point that those who are willing to run the floor will be rewarded in the box score, the MVP really couldn’t have gone to anyone but Kyrie “Uncle Drew” Irving. He spurred the East on in the 4th, showed them young bloods that the game has always been about buckets and somehow racked up 14 assists while doing so.

Dud<strong>: </strong>James Harden. I actually didn’t notice that he’d even scored in the game, and he seemed to pull a vanishing act during the 2nd and 3rd quarters – hell, even when he was on the court he was nearly invisible. Combined with his 3 point foul on PG24 in the clutch, he definitely was a fish out of water in this game. Honourable mention must go to Steph Curry though, who seemingly couldn’t buy a three out there.

So there we have it. Another All-Star weekend come and gone, symbolising the start of the real grind in the league proper. You can bet that come playoffs all that buddy-buddy stuff between the players will be gone, but it was nice whilst it lasted anyway. My player of the weekend would have to go to John Wall, who put on a real show in the dunk contest and was looking good in the ASG until he was unfairly yanked just when he was threatening to really break out, and my flop of the weekend is Damien Lillard – for a guy who was hyped so much about entering every event, he sure didn’t achieve much. Finally, for those keeping track of my predictions from last week... Well, they didn’t go so well so unfortunately I can’t boast about being an NBA messiah just yet.