Last Week: 11-5

Season: 29-19

Baltimore Ravens (0-3) at Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1)

You know, the Ravens may be 0-3 but they’re also three plays from being 3-0. This is how tight the NFL can be.

• A redzone interception with 28 seconds to go against the Broncos down by 6.
• A game-winning Raiders touchdown with 27 seconds to go having been up by 3.
• An A.J. Green touchdown right before the two minute warning when they’d just rallied to go up by 3.

Turn that first one into a TD and keep the other two from happening and they’re still unbeaten. Instead the Ravens are staring at the brink of 0-4, which’d put their playoff chances somewhere between 0% and 0.5%.

The good news, however, is that they’re playing Mike Vick this week and not Big Ben.

Wildcard’s Pick: Ravens to squeak it by a beak’s length.

New York Jets (2-1) at Miami Dolphins (1-2)

Ah, I’m so gullible. A couple good games from the Jets defence, bolstered by an unsustainable +4 turnover mark in each game, and I fell for it, picking them against the Eagles. D’oh.

Just in case anyone was wondering if these were really the same Jets, Brandon Marshall did this, which he later called the “worst play in NFL history”:

Ooh and see this one too. So typically Jets. Keep an eye on #77:

On the whole, it was a decent week though. 11 correct-ohs, bouncing back from that shocker of a week two. Only a couple of them I wish I could take back. One of those is backing the Dolphins over the Bills. That didn’t happen, the Fins got annihilated. Confusticated. They did some terrible things against a great team and paid for it hard, Tannehill getting hit all day long and throwing three interceptions, while Tyrod Taylor was able to find open men way too easily.

Luckily they have a long plane flight to sit and think about what they did because this game is in London at Wembley Stadium. Which is weird, because there’s a Rugby World Cup on there at the moment. Maybe Richie and the lads will make it down?

The Dolphins smashed the Raiders at Wembley last year so they know this trip, the Jets have never played there. I’m not giving up on the Dolphins quite yet.

Wildcard’s Pick: Fins by 10

New York Giants (1-2) at Buffalo Bills (2-1)

Oh, give me a home where the Buffalo (Bills) roam,

Where McCoy and Tyrod Taylor play,

Where seldom is seen a defence that's obscene,

And the Giants can go and shove it.

Wildcard’s Pick: Bills by 8

Carolina Panthers (3-0) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-2)

Is anyone else surprised to see that the Panthers are unbeaten? Soon to be 4-0, too.

Granted, that’s because their first four games were against the Jaguars, Texans, Saints and Buccs. The thing about that is: next week they get the bye and then after that they have the Seahawks (A), Eagles, Colts and Packers. So… good luck with that.

Wildcard’s Pick: Panthers by 6

Oakland Raiders (2-1) at Chicago Bears (0-3)

You know that times are bad for the Bears when Vegas aren’t even favouring them at home to the Raiders. It’s been 27 games since the Raiders were last favourites in a game. That was for a 2013 game against the Eagles and they got pumped 49-20, so maybe there’s hope yet. Albeit not much of it.

After three bad losses, the Bears have already started shipping out the unneededs, Jared Allen off to the Panthers and fellow linebacker Jonathan Bostic heading for the Patriots. Plus a few cuttings on top of that. Which leaves the team with just four players that they drafted themselves between 2009 and 2013, and that’s as good of an indication as any as to why they’re so bad. Teams that draft poorly do not have much success. Last year’s Patriots had 26 players of their own drafting from that 5 year stretch.

• And Jimmy Clausen might have to play.
• And they have the fifth fewest offensive yards in 2015.
• And they keep letting in return TDs.
• And they’re the only team with over 100 points conceded on defence.
• And they were blanked by the Seahawks.

Coach John Fox summed it up pretty well: "We need to generate more than zero points to win games, there's no doubt."

I’m slowly coming round to the Raiders, I’ll say that.

Wildcard’s Pick: It’s not that I can’t see the Bears winning, it’s just that I can’t possibly back them while they’re busy reinventing the concept of the Chicago Blues.

Kansas City Chiefs (1-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (3-0)

The Chiefs are really gonna rue blowing that Broncos game when they lose here. At least they finally threw a TD to a WR. For reference, A.J. Green has 9 touchdown catches on his own in the time since a Chiefs widey last caught one. The Bengals aren’t kidding around.

Wildcard’s Pick: Bengals by 4

Houston Texans (1-2) at Atlanta Falcons (3-0)

If Julio Jones went fishing, he’d probably catch Moby Dick.

If Julio Jones played Pokemon, he’d probably catch ‘em all. (Even Missingno, eh fellow cheaters?)

If Julio Jones were in the movie ‘Catch Me If You Can’… he would catch him.

If Julio Jones wanted to, he could catch fire in the Pacific Ocean.

If Julio Jones were Steve Bartman, he still would have caught that ball.

If Julio Jones were the sun then he’d catch Ray Charles crying.

If Julio Jones is playing football, he’s going to catch a touchdown.

Devante Freeman teased a legit running game last week and if that turns out to be the case then this Falcons offence is nearly as good as there is in the NFL. A mere step behind the Packers & Patriots. Which still means they can outscore anyone in the League, which means they’re a proper deep threat in 2015.

Wildcard’s Pick: Falcons by 17

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2) at Indianapolis Colts (1-2)

Wildcard’s Pick: Colts by 7

Philadelphia Eagles (1-2) at Washington R**skins (1-2)

You aaaare… liiiike a huurricaaaaane, theere’s caaaalm… in your eeeeeeyes!

Hurricane Joaquin is heading for the East Coast and it’s putting this game in doubt. The forecast isn’t devastating for the game itself but travel might be tough if it hits as hard as that karaoke attempt above. Both teams have a bye in week 8 so they’d make the game up then if it needs to be delayed, though I doubt that’ll happen because that kinda thing hardly ever happens. The important thing to know is that these two teams have been painful to watch and them not playing would probably be a relief.

Travis Bickle for the win, the sick bastard that he was.

Wildcard’s Pick: Eagles should get there if they get there, but it might be ugly.

Cleveland Browns (1-2) at San Diego Chargers (1-2)

About time the Chargers got charged, right? Cleveland probably won't try murder Philip Rivers the way the Vikings did. 

Wildcard’s Pick: Chargers by 9

Minnesota Vikings (2-1) at Denver Broncos (3-0)

The Broncos are a very soft 3-0. They could easily have lost to the Ravens, should have lost to the Chiefs and might have lost to the Lions had they been a little less Staffordy (Love ya, Matty, but sort it out mate). I mean, I knew I was taking a punt from the start but when I looked back on my picks and saw I’d taken the Lions over the Broncos, I immediately knew I’d made a big, big mistake.

They have proper problems, the Broncs, and it ain’t Peyton Manning, despite a demonstrably weaker arm. It’s their offensive line and the mess at running back. Montee Ball got cut before the season, C.J. Anderson and Juwan Thompson are currently injured – Thompson will probably start this game. The Broncs just became the first team to start 3-0 without rushing for 70 yards in any of those games. Couldn’t even run against a Detroit lot that lost its two best defensive players in free agency. Good thing for that defence, then.

As the year drags on and the teams all come into focus for what they really are (almost like awakening from a hazy dream…), the first few weeks of the season tend to offer a few anomaly results. Hindsight and all that. The Vikings losing to a borderline pathetic (at this rate) 49ers team is gonna be right the hell up there in that regard.

When picking between a couple teams that (predictably and completely unpredictably) have been having trouble getting points on the board, the general rule is to pick the team more likely to make that one big play. That’ll be Peyton Manning, thanks. Adrian Peterson’s not missing too many beats after his gap year but this Denver defence oughta do a job on him.

Wildcard’s Pick: Broncos by 9

Green Bay Packers (3-0) at San Francisco 49ers (0-3)

Wildcard’s Pick: Honestly? I’m picking the Packers.

St Louis Rams (1-2) at Arizona Cardinals (3-0)

I’ll give you that this is the kind of game where the Rams can get something going, but so long as Carson Palmer is healthy the Cardinals are very, very good. The Cardies have a 9 game winning streak going when Palmers starts and are 19-4 in all his starts. One problem, this is the team he tore his ACL against last year. PTSD might be a barrier.

We’ve seen what losing a top quarterback can do to an otherwise great team a couple times already this season. We saw it last season with this very team. But right now there aren’t many teams can foot it with them. This is the best coached team in the NFL (sorry, Mr Belichick). Their defence is brilliant, four interceptions of Colin Kaepernick last week. They even ran the ball well in that game, albeit only against the 49ers. Dear God, and how about Larry Fitzgerald!?

Wildcard’s Pick: Cardinals by 3

Dallas Cowboys (2-1) at New Orleans Saints (0-3)

How does a team cope without their star quarterback? Not very well, in most cases.

For the Cowboys, they milked Brandon Weeden with an entirely short passing game. Nothing long, nothing risky. And in the first half that got them out to a 28-14 lead with Joseph Randle running the ball fantastically well but whatever the Falcons did in the second to adjust, it worked. They stopped the run and forced Weeden into work. 18 of Weedle’s 22 completions were to running backs or tight ends. If Dez Bryant were playing, that’d be different but he ain’t. The team was 1-6 on third down and they just couldn’t move the pigskin without the run (which begs the question: why not try force the run even in crowded schemes? Like, run some outside plays or whatever). Weedle (as he shall forever now be known) wasn’t as terrible as he has been for the Browns (the numbers were actually quite good: 22-26, 232 yds, 0/1 TD/INT) but he failed hard when asked to make plays on his own.

For the Saints, Luke McCown was on a hiding to nothing replacing Drew Brees in a team where even Drew Brees hasn’t been able to do anything much. Yet he did a commendable job, actually. 31/38 for 310 yards, 0/1 TD/INT. Lots of dinky passes just like Weeden, nothing aired out. The difference here is that McCown was able to get his wide-outs involved which meant more speed, more room and more yards. And asked to make the final, decisive drive, he got them all the way down the field with some genuinely good quarterbacking... which was when this happened:

Guts, bro.

Brees might be back for this game, maybe. Dallas are still missing their best pass rusher (Greg Hardy) and their secondary is an iffy prospect, though don’t judge them too hard in getting done by Julio Jones. The Saints can’t run the ball, which might mean more help from linebackers in the pass stuff at least. Both have issues however the Cowboys are the more talented team. Heading into their bye, the ‘Boys really need this so as not to fall behind in their division.  

Wildcard’s Pick: Cowboys by 3

Detroit Lions (0-3) at Seattle Seahawks (1-2)

Wildcard’s Pick: Cheer ya up, Lions? Good-o, Seahawks by 15

BYE: New England Patriots (3-0), Tennessee Titans (1-2).

The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. When not passionately writing away, he spends his time challenging strangers to riddle contests and generally fiddling around with that golden ring he found that time. He has no idea what you have in your pocketses.