Last Week: 9-5

Season: 47-30

Atlanta Falcons (5-0) at New Orleans Saints (1-4)

Hey, Atlanta. Hot ‘Lanta. Friggin’ piping, smoking hot ‘Lanta. How about it?

In past years if Matt Ryan played as badly as he did last week against the R**skins then this team would’ve had no chance. Two interceptions, a fumble in the red-zone and a bunch of missed passes. Yet there they were in overtime, winning the game on defence. On one hand that’s pure Captain Kirk Cousins, turning the ball over as soon as he looks good. But the Falcons have always been let down by their defence and suddenly look at ‘em!

This week begins with the ol’ Friday arvo game, welcoming in the kiwi weekend with the Falcons getting crazy in New Orleans. And crazy they shall get. I’ve watched big portions of the last couple Saints games and am not impressed at all. Which is sad, I always kinda liked them. But aside from an aging and ailing Drew Brees, most people can’t name two other players on that side. There’s just no depth there.

As for last week, it felt like I was getting slaughtered on the picks but it ended up 9-5 which was tolerable. There were so many games that could have gone either way, Baltimore and Cleveland going back and forth, Kansas City blowing a 17-3 lead in the fourth after Jamaal Charles got hurt, Atlanta going to OT, Cincinnati salvaging OT and then beating Seattle despite being down by 17 at one stage. Yeah and Pittsburgh’s final second heroics too.

Wildcard’s Pick: Falcons by 6

Denver Broncos (5-0) at Cleveland Browns (2-3)

The Broncos aren’t going unbeaten throughout 2015, but Peyton Manning’s Old-Man-QB problems are a matter for another week. In the meantime, have you met Von Miller?

Wildcard’s Pick: Broncos to grind out another one

Cincinnati Bengals (5-0) at Buffalo Bills (3-2)

Frankly I wasn’t gonna pick the Bills here anyway but I’m definitely not taking them if E.J. Manuel is starting. Sometimes a backup can have that one good game in relief, however that ain’t happening against the Bengals. They’ve probably been the third best team in 2015 (outside the Packers/Patriots dominance), albeit the Falcons and Cardinals have solid cases to present the courts too.

Tyrod Taylor shouldn’t have been good but he has been. 70.1% completion for 1097 yards, 9 TDs/4 INTs at a passer rating of 103.6 through five games. A lot of what he’s been able to achieve has been down to the 7 first downs and 187 yards he’s been able to gain on his feet. I’m sceptical that he’s a long term solution but having a decent QB has solidified this team as an outside playoff threat, though with news Taylor could be out multiple weeks, they’re now extremely short on offensive weapons.

LeSean McCoy’s not been fantastic, he’s without a rushing TD this season and is averaging 3.4 yards per carry but you’d still rather have him in there than not and news that he could miss another month having sat out the last game is kinda awful. Without him (and with Taylor) this offence could only manage 54 yards in the first half against Tennessee. Sammy Watkins’ injury is just as damaging (maybe more so). In the end it was Taylor’s ability to make plays with his legs that saved them. That and a Mario Williams-led defence. Watkins should be back but he’ll be trying to catch ‘em from Manuel so… yuck. It’s a weird place for these Bills to be after six weeks should they lose this as expected. They’re a team nobody’s gonna look forward to playing yet they’ll be 3-3 and possibly sinking in the playoff race. The back half of their sched. is easier though, and their two games against the Jets are gonna be must-wins (wks. 10 & 17).

As for the Bengals, 5-0 for the first time since 1988 and you know you’re good when you can make Kam Chancellor look average. Maybe this will be the year they finally win a playoff game?

Wildcard’s Pick: Bengals by 10

Chicago Bears (2-3) at Detroit Lions (0-5)

When you’re the only team left without a win this season, a home game against the Bears is a must-win. They’d better hope that Matt Stafford takes the kick up the ass that he got last week with his second half benching in the right way. But he probably won’t.

And even if he does, it’s just not working and as much as anything, it’s the way this team are playing. They used to be all big play fear and deep threats. Then when they got defences retreating they took the free yards available in short. But Jim Caldwell’s got Staffy trying to play like Tom Brady, hitting pristine mid-range passes, picking on linebackers and mismatches and they don’t have the wide receivers to make that work either, let alone the fact that it’s playing to the exact opposite of their QB’s strengths. Like, Calvin Johnson is one thing but you’re gonna use him in slants over the middle? Hell no you’re not. Golden Tate has to be the fella for that and while he caught 8 passes last game, finally getting involved more, he was targeted 18 times. Matt Stafford’s best season came with a 12.0 yards per completion rate. Every other season he’s hit at least 11.3 (his rookie year) except for 2010 when he averaged 9.4 Y/C in a season he only started three times and threw 96 attempts. This season he’s at 9.6 after 195 attempts.

These guys can be so much better.

Wildcard’s Pick: And they will be, Lions by 3

Houston Texans (1-4) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)

Wildcard’s Pick: Texans by 1

Kansas City Chiefs (1-4) at Minnesota Vikings (2-2)

The Chiefs were five minutes away from salvaging a chance in a disappointing season. Then Jamaal Charles tore his ACL. Soon after a 17-3 lead against a very poor Chicago Bears team (albeit an improving poor Chicago Bears team) disappeared into the breeze like the average Chiefs fan’s faith in God as they went on to lose 18-17. Their best player is done. A season that promised so much is done. Nothing matters anymore in Kansas City…

Oh, except for the Royals! Kendrick Morales, baby! Johnny Cueto who speaks about himself in Spanish in the third person! Ned Freakin’ Yost (maybe)!

Wildcard’s Pick: Vikes by 6

Miami Dolphins (1-3) at Tennessee Titans (1-3)

I'll back you this week Dolphins, coz I like the New Coach Boost idea. But you've got a lot of work to do to restore the unfounded confidence I once had in you lot.

Wildcard’s Pick: Dolphins by 2

Washington R**skins (2-3) at New York Jets (3-1)

I’m still not prepared for the point at which the Jets are really good so I’m gonna tentatively back them here after their bye and see how things look. Like, if they were riding the momentum of their first couple games when they were forcing turnovers at completely unsustainable rates, and if they did away with a lame duck Dolphins team with a coach on the precipice, then this, a game they should win, will tell us plenty about who they really are. Nothing on their offence really worries me, though that defence is fan-bloody-tastic.

Wildcard’s Pick: Jets by 7

Arizona Cardinals (4-1) at Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2)

This week in Dumb NFL Stuff:

“Pittsburgh Steelers defensive end Cameron Heyward was disappointed to learn of his NFL fine for wearing eye black honoring his father, former NFL fullback Craig "Ironhead" Heyward, on Monday Night Football against the Chargers.

Heyward's father battled cancer and died in May 2006. Heyward wore the words "Iron" and "Head" under his eyes, resulting in what a source says is a $5,787 fine. Heyward said he'll try to appeal the violation of the league's uniform policy, and he wants to continue to wear the eye black if he can. He understands the policy and isn't trying to be difficult by breaking rules.” – Jeremy Fowler on ESPN

Dumb, so dumb. But it gets worse:

Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams, like a number of other players, has been wearing pink accessories to his uniform this October as part of Breast Cancer Awareness month. See, Williams’ mother passed away in 2014 from breast cancer and he has dyed the tips of his locks pink ever since in memory. But when he asked the league if he could wear pink all season, he was told that the NFL’s strict uniform policy prohibited that. Because it’s all good to raise awareness for a serious and worthy cause, but only for a month and then we get back to regular business (speaking of regular business, if you’d like some NFL-branded pink apparel, head on over to their store and keep making them rich). Forget that Williams is already aware of this disease. Forget that he’s doing more than most to help fight it.

He truly is, by the way. Williams has said he is purchasing 53 mammograms (his mother’s age when she died) for a North Carolina hospital close to where he used to play with the Panthers. What a champion.

Wildcard’s Pick: Cardinals by 5

Carolina Panthers (4-0) at Seattle Seahawks (2-3)

Say goodbye to that zero, Panthers.

Wildcard’s Pick: Seahawks by 10

Baltimore Ravens (1-4) at San Francisco 49ers (1-4)

Hey, check it out, it’s a rematch of Super Bowl XLVII!

Jeez, times have changed.

Wildcard’s Pick: Niners to get a little revenge

San Diego Chargers (2-3) at Green Bay Packers (5-0)

The no-interception streak may be over at home for Aaron Rodgers but he doesn’t care a bit. They still won. And you know what else? Not only do they have the best quarterback on the planet in his prime but the Green Bay Packers may have something close to a top-5 defence too. At least top 10.

The Chargers offensive line seems to be capitulating as usual and their defence couldn’t stop Mike Vick’s Steelers (!) from logging that game-winning drive on MNF. That’s not good. And now they go to Lambeau.

Wildcard’s Pick: Packers by 9

New England Patriots (4-0) at Indianapolis Colts (3-2)

The most teams to ever start 5-0 in a single season is 5 and that was in 2009. Should the Patriots win here then they tie that mark, potentially even break it but that depends on Carolina winning in Seattle and we’ve already been there done that.

So… is it too soon to talk about unbeaten teams? Nah, of course not.

The Patriots and the Packers are obviously the best chances. It looks like the Pats have the tougher division but, like, they always win in their division. No matter how good the Jets or Bills defences get, Tom Brady can handle it. The Pats are currently in the toughest stretch of their schedule and, as always, it broke well for them. No Romo or Bryant made the Cowboys game a walkover when it could have been a heavyweight clash and the Colts aren’t playing all that well themselves. Andrew Luck banged up and he was playing poorly already. Last time they played was the AFC title game and the Patriots intercepted Luck 4 times on the way to a 43-22 win. They beat them 42-22 in the 2014 regular season too. Following this, there’s a game away to the Giants that could scare them and a trip to Denver two weeks later. Every team has that down week where things just don’t click for whatever reason but right now the Patriots look tough to beat.

As for the Packers, things are tough already. A much harder schedule, after the Chargers they travel to Denver and then Carolina, both teams currently unbeaten themselves. There’s also a week 16 game in Arizona to worry about. The Broncos are 5-0 and could beat either of those teams on their day, though it’s hard to see them as they are scoring the points to back up their defence. The Panthers, they’re nowhere near deserving of this company, really. An easy run of games to start is all. Similar goes for the Falcons, but they can go in a shootout so you can’t ever count ‘em out. Also their fixture list is insanely easy for a team as good as they are. At Saints, at Titans, Buccs, at Niners, Bye, Colts, Vikings, at Buccs, at Panthers, at Jags, Panthers, Saints. Legitimately, they could win ‘em all. That last month where they play the Panthers twice will be the highest hurdle.

Oh, crap, and I forgot about the Bengals! Hmm, let's give them a couple more weeks first.

Wildcard’s Pick: Patriots by 14

New York Giants (3-2) at Philadelphia Eagles (2-3)

Unless the Eagles and R**skins both win, the winner here goes top of the NFC East. For a division as oddly weak as that one, every win counts and division wins count even more. Strange how the Giants narrative has gone from Worst Team in Franchise History to Really Great Solid Team. They could be 5-0 with better fourth quarter play but they could also be plenty worse. They nearly lost to the Niners, man. The 49ers! While the Eagles are slowly getting slightly better.

What I love about Odell Beckham Jr is that he’s not like other top WRs. He’s not an overpowering dude but he’s SO FAST. Incredible athleticism and he can cut and turn sharper than anyone. Yes, that includes Jarryd Hayne, Australia. Your Dez Bryants and Julio Joneses are so powerful in a Go-Up-And-Get it kinda way. Beckham doesn’t need to take the contact because he’s sneakily clever and has springs in his feet and Velcro on his gloves. And coz he’s so small – 5’11” compared to Dez, Julio, Megatron or A.J. Green who are all between 6’2” and 6’5” – and yet still so good under CB pressure, he can play anywhere. He can be Wes Welker in the slot, he can be Randall Cobb on the slant, he can be Calvin Johnson down the field and he can be Antonio Brown in space. His stats are inflated coz he plays with Eli Manning but this dude is no fluke.

Wildcard’s Pick: Eagles, why not?

BYE: Dallas Cowboys (2-3), Oakland Raiders (2-3), St Louis Rams (2-3) & Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3).

The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. Sort of. In reality he’s the collective name for the roomful of monkeys that sit at typewriters hacking away at them before the masses of pages produced are filtered for semi-intelligent insights and amalgamated into the article that you’re reading now.