Last Week: 11-3

Season: 58-33

Seattle Seahawks (2-4) at San Francisco 49ers (2-4)

Welcome to the big time, Mr Hayne. Here’s a rivalry as brutal as any in American Sports these days. The Parramatta Eels know no such thing.

Weirdly though, both teams are at 2-4, despite one being rubbish and another supposed to be very good. At least the Niners expected to be a shambles this year, they’re working through that, while Seattle… I don’t even know what’s happening. Conceding late leads, getting pumped for points, barking and arguing. Honestly, they’ve held a fourth quarter lead in every game this season but since week 2 they’ve been outscored 51-9 in fourth quarters. More like Legion of Gloom, amiright?

Having said that, the 'hawks should be far too good here. It’ll be their first win away from home, though to be fair three of the teams they’ve lost to are still undefeated. Also Colin Kaepernick’s career against the Seahawks is fully abysmal. 2 TDs and 7 INTs for 5 losses in 7 games, a completion percentage of 52.5 and a pathetic 3.78 yards per attempt. With Carlos Hyde struggling for health and production, and Marshawn Lynch returning to each of those things, the 'hawks ought to be for the W.

Supposing they keep the drag racing to a minimum the next few days.

Ooh and pat on the back for me, I went 11-3 last week. Best return of the season. The Seahawks loss to the Panthers was one of those three misses, as well as the Steelers getting over the Cardinals and that awful Falcons loss to the Saints on TNF.

Wildcard’s Pick: Seahawks by 6

Buffalo Bills (3-3) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5)

Carrying on the emerging tradition of spreading the game of NFL globally by exporting the worst game every few weeks to London. And they expect them to buy into it? Typical Americans, having no concept of how the rest of the world sees them.

Wildcard’s Pick: The Bills are still pretty alright.

Cleveland Browns (2-4) at St Louis Rams (2-3)

There’s just something about Josh McCown against the Rams defence and Todd Gurley in his first post-breakout home game against the NFL’s worst rush stoppers (32nd in rush yards against).

Wildcard’s Pick: I’ll have the Rams, cheers.

Minnesota Vikings (3-2) at Detroit Lions (1-5)

It looked last week as if the Lions finally figured out that their best chance of winning is to keep on with those early down deep bombs to Calvin Johnson. Hey, it isn’t exactly imaginative and nor is it pristine but, like, let Stafford be Stafford and let Megatron be Megatron.

This is one of the toughest games to call this week. I really like the Vikings but the Lions are such a tease because it’s so hard to beat that big-play potential. Any game within seven near the end is one that the Lions can win, deservingly or not – there’s nothing more annoying than that pass interference call that puts the oppo in the red zone for a game winning drive. Okay, the Lions know a couple more annoying calls (batted out of the end zone, anyone?) but still. If they can stop Adrian Peterson then they can win this game. The Vikings, in stark contrast, just cannot move the ball in the air.

Wildcard’s Pick: Lions by… not much.

Houston Texans (2-4) at Miami Dolphins (2-3)

Shout out to the Miami Dolphins, recipients of the New Coach Boost. They were really good last week against the Titans for the first time all season. Must be the fella with the clipboard.

And they turned it around with a bit of common sense and some playing to strengths. First of all, they protected an underachieving Ryan Tannehill and helped out an underperforming Lamar Miller (RB) by putting in a genuine commitment to the running game. 73% pass plays ‘til then, then a 32/29 rush/pass ratio. Lamar Miller had 113 ground yards. Second was the usual New Coach thing, they played tough and re-energised. And third, remember that pillaging pass rush they were gonna have? Ndamukong Suh and Cameron Wake together? Well, Wake had 4 sacks in this one and he woulda had more but for a few timely holds. He also had a pair of tackles for losses. The Dolphins had 4 takeaways.

This from Wake’s agent:

Wildcard’s Pick: Dolphins by 3

New Orleans Saints (2-4) at Indianapolis Colts (3-3)

Wildcard’s Pick: Colts by 7

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)

That guy, Landry Jones, strolls in as third choice QB, after Mike Vick had left injured and playing pretty rubbish anyway, and young Landry goes and tosses 8 of 12 for 16 yards and a pair of TDs. How about it, aye? The Al Borland look’s a keeper too, surely.

Big Ben might be back this time but he might not be too and if he ain’t then Landry Jones might get a start. Either way, the Steelers are finding ways to win games. The Chiefs, it’s very hard to see them beating a decent team this season. They’ve walked under far too many ladders.

Wildcard’s Pick: Steelers by 10

New York Jets (4-1) at New England Patriots (5-0)

Pick your Six Week MVP from these numbers:

• Uno: 67.4% comp. / 1761 yards / 14 TD / 2 INT / 2 GWD
• Dos: 70% comp. / 2117 yards / 12 TD / 5 INT / 2 GWD
• Tres: 70.6% comp / 1699 yards / 14 TD / 1 INT

Right now it’s coming from one of those three and unfortunately it’s probably the bugger Tres, who’ll be playing in this game. Bear in mind Tres has played one fewer game. Uno is Andy Dalton, Dos is Philip Rivers. Expect Aaron Rodgers to find his way up there in time, maybe Matt Ryan too. Carson Palmer’s an outside shot while Ben Roethlisberger and Tony Romo have been spoiled by injury. Of course, a non-QB might win the award…

Here’s a stat that needs breaking: The NY Jets have not conceded a third quarter point this season. They’ve outscored opponents 34-0 in 3Qs. There is outside potential that the Jets bust the Patriots' unbeaten streak but it’s unlikely away from home. Hey, we can hope though. It’s the best pass defence against the best pass offence. Darrelle Revis against the old enemy that he won a ring with. Dammit, the Jets got good somewhere along the way, can’t wait for this one.

Wildcard’s Pick: Patriots in a close one.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3) at Washington R**skins (2-4)

Pirates vs Racists. I’m morally obliged to leave it at that. Too many bad guys all in one place.

Wildcard’s Pick: Racists have the pirates walking the plank.

Atlanta Falcons (5-1) at Tennessee Titans (1-4)

The Falcons found all sorts of ways to screw up that Saints game but the good thing about Thursday night games is that they’re already anomalies. Pretty easy to bounce back. It’s unlikely that Matt Ryan plays that poorly again for a while and the defence ought not to struggle so much against a hobbled rookie than they did against a hobbled Hall of Famer. Drew Brees is still a bossdog, don’t doubt it (but do doubt the effect he has, nobody can do it all alone).

Wildcard’s Pick: Falcons by 7

Oakland Raiders (2-3) at San Diego Chargers (2-4)

Poor old Phil Rivers, even when he play the game of his life he still can’t catch a break.

Things that will probably happen to Phil Rivers:

• He buys the winning lottery ticket but it escapes into the breeze on his way to cash it.
• His bandwidth runs out with one episode left of his favourite Netflix show.
• He catches every green light on the way to practise only to find he had a day off and nobody told him.
• His phone battery dies before he can hit save on his perfect fantasy line-up before the deadline.
• He spends all week studying before his exams, never going out or anything, only for the test to be full of the one topic he didn’t prepare for.
• The printer at work runs out of ink in between his trying to use it and the last person trying to use it.
• He refills the ink and the paper jams, meaning nobody will get to read the brilliant play he just finished.
• He successfully avoids Game of Thrones spoilers all week but then accidentally skips forward on the video and sees something he can’t un-see.
• He catches every green light on the way to practise only to find out that the Chargers have packed up and moved to Los Angeles.

Wildcard’s Pick: All the same, Chargers for sure.

Dallas Cowboys (2-3) at New York Giants (3-3)

Is it biased to say I still reckon the Cowboys win this division? Probably but I’m gonna do it anyway. The Giants really aren’t that good. A couple tight losses and people called for Tom Coughlin’s head, a couple good wins and they were the best Giants team since the Super Bowlers of 2012. Then they coughed up a bunch of ball against the Eagles and who knows now?

I do. The Giants are a middling team and the Cowboys should have more points in them now with Matt Cassel at QB. He has an arm barely but enough better than Weedle’s to be able to stretch defences down the ground and free up the run game that needs to dominate for Dallas to succeed. Doubt we see Dez Bryant in this one, he’s a shot at next week. Also, don’t sleep on Greg Hardy’s impact.

As for the rest of the division, the R**skins and Eagles are turnover machines. Neither is a particularly good team, both have flaws too deep to overcome. And whoever wins this div is gonna do it with like 8 or 9 wins anyway. When Romo and Bryant are fit then none of the three can match them. Guessing that Romo’s back for the Dolphins game in week 11, they can probably win 4 or 5 of their last 7, meaning a couple wins in the next month puts them in a good place (especially as their two wins were division games). Romo will get the Skins twice. If Cassel can do him a favour here then it’s theirs to lose at 3-3, though a Giants win means they’ll need some help.

I dunno, I like Matt Cassel, I always have. He’s never played with an O-Line this good before.

Wildcard’s Pick: Cowboys. And what?

Philadelphia Eagles (3-3) at Carolina Panthers (5-0)

Just think how good the Panthers could be if they had a couple decent (fit) wide receivers. Everything else is there already, these guys have a run game the Eagles would kill for.

Wildcard’s Pick: Lock in 7-0, Panthers.

Baltimore Ravens (1-5) at Arizona Cardinals (4-2)

Let us now bow our heads in remembrance of the 2015 Baltimore Ravens.

A team that promised so much from the start but never got it going.

A team with wide receivers who couldn’t work their way out of a cardboard box let alone man coverage.

A team with five losses, all by six points or less.

A team whose only win got the opposition kicker sacked (by Snoop Dogg) after he missed two field goals.

A team whose far and away best defensive player tore his achilles in week one.

A team that just got torched through the air by Colin Freakin’ Kaepernick.

A team notorious for great defence that’s given up the sixth most yards in the NFL and the fifth most points.

A team that only the Jacksonville Jaguars have fewer takeaways than.

A team that this week comes up against a Cardinals side that’s absolutely massacred weak teams this season, especially those week down the field, and that is coming off a disappointing loss with something to prove.

Wildcard’s Pick: Cardinals by 12

BYE: Denver Broncos (6-0), Cincinnati Bengals (6-0), Green Bay Packers (6-0) & Chicago Bears (2-4)

The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. He once played five-aside against Michael Jordan… though not THAT Michael Jordan.