The bats are all polished, the balls hand stitched. Trucks full of chewing tobacco are currently backing up noisily to Major League stadiums all over America. Spring Training is over and the 2015 Major League Baseball season is about to begin.

Minor Star

Chicago Cubs prodigy-in-extreme Kris Bryant has officially been sent back to the minors to start the season, as expected. Is he ready for the big time? Hell, yes. Bryant is already the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year and he’s still in the minors. He crushed Spring Training pitches to all angles, man the kid even hit a Felix Hernandez changeup over the fence. NOBODY does that! But Bryant hits free agency a year earlier if he plays a full season (172 days out of 183). So the Cubs had no choice but to let him lie dormant for the first 12 days.

Elsewhere Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson has been hanging out with the Texas Rangers in Spring Training. Wilson was semi-ceremoniously drafted by the Rangers a couple years ago, more or less as a gimmick, but Wilson’s popped by the last two years now for a hit around. He even slugged a homer in batting practice!

Naughty, Naughty

The Atlanta Falcons have been docked a draft pick for filling out their games with fake crowd noise. No, seriously. That happened. Meanwhile the GM of the Cleveland Browns has gotten himself suspended for texting during games.

All these silly people, they should be more like the Chicago Cubs. With renovations going on at Wrigley Field, they’re not letting the $575m of spend get in the way of the people, promising to monitor not only noise levels but dust levels too. They may not often win on the field, but they certainly win around it.

Stuff That Happened in the NBA

Patrick Beverley of the Rockets has had wrist surgery and is done for the season. He hurt it a week ago against Indiana and though he considered playing through it, that wasn’t gonna be an option. That means that 37 year old Jason Terry steps into the starting PG role. Losing Beverley’s defence and, shall we say, mongrel, is a big blow for Houston, but at least Dwight Howard’s back now. Albeit on a 20 minute limit for now.

Speaking of point guards, ESPN ran a little panel to determine the best in the NBA right now and here’s what they came up with:

Looks like Conley’s days of being criminally underrated are coming to an end as he finished higher in the rankings than the likes of Dame Lillard, Kyrie Irving and Tony Parker, all of whom suffered in their defensive ratings. Poor old Rajon Rondo (19) and Deron Williams (21) have fallen way down the pecking order, imagine where they’d be if this list were made three years ago. It really is a point guard’s league these days.

Speaking of speaking of point guards, Steph Curry dropped CP3 with a wicked turn. That’s one massive statement. Ruthless.

"That man is tough. Obviously, he has a great handle" – Chris Paul makes some concessions.

One more great point guard, Tony Parker, played his 1000th career game this week. Big props.

And because everyone (except Gregg Popovich, apparently) loves a buzzer beater… Mario Chalmers, folks:

NBA Power Rankings:

(Last Week)

1. Golden State Warriors (1)
2. Cleveland Cavaliers (3)
3. San Antonio Spurs (4)
4. LA Clippers (6)
5. Atlanta Hawks (2)
6. Memphis Grizzlies (5)
7. Houston Rockets (8)
8. Oklahoma City Thunder (7)
9. Chicago Bulls (NR)
10. Portland Trailblazers (NR)

Ouch, Steve

Joakim Noah, Troll

Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?

J.J. Watt, Sitcom Star

Quote of the Week:

“He didn’t have no beard back then”

 – Raptors star DeMar DeRozan speaking of the origins of his rivalry with James Harden. They’ve been playing against each other since they were 12. Toronto topped Houston 99-96 this week, DeRozan scoring a career-high 42 (with 11 rebounds) while Harden was left in the dust with a mere 31.

Don’t believe him, well here’ proof. It’s the 2007 McDonald's All-American Boys Game. Heavily stacked, by the way.

Good Week:

Golden State Warriors – 61 wins and counting. 10 in a row, including triumphs over Atlanta, Portland, Memphis and LAC. What more is there to say, really?

Baseball Players – The season is imminent and the average salary has topped US$4m for the first time ever. That’s even more lucrative if you play for the LA Dodgers, whose opening day payroll is set to sit at $270m – easily the highest ever. Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw’s $31m in 2015 makes him numero uno among players.

Bad Week:

NFL Pageantry – Both Marcus Mariota and Jameis Winston are planning on skipping the NFL draft ceremony. Two of the top prospects, poo ol’ Goodell’s gonna have a few spare snapbacks in the offices at this rate.

New York Knicks - Nothing new. Same old Knicks. The Warriors won more games in March than the Knicks have all season. It's 7 losses in a row.

Player of the Week:

Steph Curry (Golden State Warriors) – Averaging 29.4 points, 7.2 assists, shooting almost 57% in his last five games. There’s a deserving winner if ever there was one. He may just be pulling away from The Beard in the MVP race…