July 8, 2015 – Lest We Forget

Ah, a day that will go down in basketball lore. The day that DeAndre Jordan was held hostage in his own home, the day of the Change Of Heart, the day of the fabled Emoji War. As far as the ins and outs go, check out this write up from earlier in the week, and check out this thriller from ESPN. Or you could try Paul Pierce's children's book adaptation of events.

But here is the Study Revision version (and you’d better study it up, they’ll be writing real books about it someday).

• DeAndre Jordan verbally agrees to join the Mavericks.
• DeAndre Jordan has doubts and tells those doubts to Blake Griffin.
• Blake tells Doc Rivers, the Clippers start rallying to re-sign him (despite the agreement).
• Mavs and Clips players and staff all converge on Jordan’s hometown of Houston.
• The Emoji War happens.
• DJ decides to reverse his agreement and sign for the Clippers.
• The contract can’t be signed until midnight to the Clippers hang around DJ’s house playing cards and watching TV.
• Mavs owner Mark Cuban can’t get a hold of DeAndre, who’s ignoring all his calls. He finally gives up.
• DeAndre Jordan signs with the LA Clippers.

The Emoji War was super weird, but it was worth all the cryptic clues and the silly jokes for one aspect in particular. Maybe it was a joke, maybe not, but Paul Pierce’s addition was to share a pixelated picture of a rocket emoji. Really showing his age there.

Though as far as social media went that legendary day, Blake Griffin won hands down.

Granted, Clyde Drexler came close:

A Change Is Gonna Come

Speaking on the whole NBA playoff seeding debate, Commissioner Adam Silver made some pretty sensible comments. The League’s Competition Committee has suggested changes that will mean the division winners will no longer get an automatic top four seeding ahead of teams with a better record, as happened to Portland last season (and only last season – they’ll be lucky to even make the playoffs in 2015-16). Seedings will still all come from conferences but will be exclusively be based on wins and losses. Owners are still to discuss this with their teams, however Silver expects it to be approved before the new season.

But no luck for those who wanna see Hack-A-Shaw outlawed. Better learn to shoot free throws, fellas. Same goes for scorned Dallas fans hoping for an end to the moratorium.

The Tag Deadline

Remember Jason Pierre-Paul’s dilemma after losing part of a finger in a fireworks-related incident right near the end of his contract negotiations. A long term offer was taken off the table in the aftermath of his explosive silliness and now the deadline to sign an extension has passed. That’s because he’s a franchise tagged player. So it’s up to him to sign a $15m one-year tender or lay on the couch all season. The plan is that he’s waiting ‘til he can pass a medical to sign, because otherwise he’ll be chucked on the injury list and it could be a long while before he sees the field again. JPP will be an unrestricted free agent next season.

Other teams with franchise tagged players were more successful. Dez Bryant had declared he’d take no part in any Dallas Cowboys pre-season events until a proper extension was agreed, even threatening to miss regular season games. Well, they agreed. Dez will throw up the X for $70m over the next 5 years. Likewise the Denver Broncos have given Demaryius Thomas an almost identical deal to Bryant’s, as well as the New England Patriots getting kicker Stephen Gostkowski for four years and the Kansas City Chiefs securing star LB Justin Houston to THE BIGGEST CONTRACT EVER SIGNED BY A LINEBACKER IN NFL HISTORY.

Swing Batter Batter Swing

Well, whaddaya know, they fixed the Home Run Derby! Those changes to the format, including head to head matchups and time limits, made for a great spectacle… which was made even greater by home town lad Todd Frazier taking the trophy. After the resurgence of the NBA dunk contest, it’s been a nice year for novelty all star events.

The All Star Game itself, however, drew record low viewing figures.

The Cure For Concussion

NFL Hall of Famer Joe Namath took plenty of hits in his time. He’s had his share of cognitive issues since retirement too. But he reckons that hyperbaric oxygen treatment has helped him enormously and he wants others to try it. Do what you will with that information, best of luck to the man. Mostly we just wanted an excuse to share this:

Boltman, To The Rescue!

The San Diego Chargers are a very high chance of relocating in the next few seasons. Los Angeles wants an NFL team again and city officials have met with both the Chargers and the Oakland Raiders over a possible move. It’s understood that both sets of owners are willing to consider it.

However the city of San Diego is digging in its heels. Politically, it’d be a disaster to lose their NFL team – there are only 32 of them to go around. So Mayor Kevin Faulconer put together a task force and they recommended building a new stadium on the same site as the current Qualcomm Stadium. The Chargers prefer a downtown site but, hey, what can ya do? (Ans: Relocate to Los Angeles).

The biggest problem is that a new stadium will cost around $1.4b, so… yeah. The plan now is to put it to a public vote as to whether that goes ahead, but before that can happen there needs to be an Environmental Impact Report conducted. The San Diego City Council met to vote on that matter this week, something they had to do given that the EIR costs over $2m.

Some councillors weren’t too happy with the proposal, citing the fact that the team is likely to pack up shop and leave town anyway, but luckily the local fans had a secret weapon.

Yep, Boltman spoke in costume and in person to the council. For the record, this is not the team mascot. This is just some dude that dresses up like this for games and has done so for the past 20 years.

He must have said something good though, the council voted 6-3 in favour of the report.

Dame Dollaz

Yep, this is Damian Lillard’s musical debut, finally releasing the full track which he’s been teasing for a while now.

Bro, We All Good… Right?

J.J. & Jen 4EVA

Faceketball

LeBron shoulda just aimed for the lil sucker’s face. #LettermanForLife

Ferrell Takes the Field

It’s Uncanny

Fuelling The Fire

Quote of the Week:

“He wasn’t ready for being a franchise player. He was scared. He was scared to take the next step in his career. There was no other reason other than that he was comfortable and he has friendships there. How you make a business decision like that is beyond me. How you ignore an owner like Mark who is in your hometown just waiting for a chance to talk to you is beyond me.”

Chandler Parsons, honorary GM of the Dallas Mavericks, probably won’t be buying DeAndre Jordan any more dinners for a while.

Click here for the rest of that interview.

Good Week:

Andrew McCutchen (Pittsburgh Pirates) – The former NL MVP is sitting on an 18 game hit streak, which he extended in the last game before the All Star break win the most dramatic possible fashion – with a 14th innings walk off homer. He also homered in the All Star Game but, let’s be honest, that doesn’t count.

Justin Houston (Kansas City Chiefs) – Only Ndamukong Suh is due more money among defensive players. Houston’s six year $114m deal comes after 200 career tackles, 48.5 sacks and 5 fumble recoveries, all for the grand sum of about $3m on his rookie contract. Underpaid no more.

Doc Rivers & the L.A. Clippers – …

Bad Week:

Dallas Mavericks – They’ve done their best to salvage things by signing Deron Williams and Zaza Pachulia, but this was a disastrous result for the Mavs. DeAndre Jordan was meant to be the star player on their team next season, whether or not he could’ve carried that torch is irrelevant, this was the basket in which all their eggs are in. And they can’t really tank either because their first round pick is promised to Boston as part of the Rondo deal and it’s only top 7 protected. It’s unlikely a team with Dirk Nowitzki, Chandler Parsons and Wes Matthews could finish that low.

Luke Ridnour (Free Agent) – This poor dude. A 12 year NBA veteran, he just can’t find a team to play on. It started when he was traded by the Orlando Magic to the Memphis Grizzlies, who dealt him to the Charlotte Hornets the next day. The Hornets flipped him later that same day to the Oklahoma City Thunder, where he lasted five days before he was sent to the Toronto Raptors. Who cut him. Some folks just can’t catch a break.

The ESPYs – Sorry, people. The ESPYs are stupid and pointless and will get zero further acknowledgement in these pages.

Player of the Week:

Pete Rose (Would Be MLB Hall of Famer) – Regardless of whether you believe Pete Rose’s life ban for gambling is just or not, Charlie Hustle had a great week in getting honoured and presented at the All Star festivities in his home town of Cincinnati. Potentially a huge step forward in his quest for reinstatement. Given that his exile was decided upon before the age of steroids, you wonder if such measures would be taken these days or not. It’s an interesting idea.