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The Wildcard’s 2015 NFL Pre-Season Quarterback Rankings (Part Two)

You know the NFL season is right around the corner when these QB rankings drop. Three years in a row, it’s officially a tradition.

As with previous years, this list is most definitely subjective. You’re welcome to be offended though. The rankings are based on the idea of which quarterback is the best at this point in time. Potential and upside do matter, as does past achievement, but above all else it’s about who you would rather have with the ball in their hands for your hypothetical team if the Super Bowl were on tomorrow.

In as much as it’s possible, players have been separated from the situations and the players around them that affect their performances but, yeah, that’s tough to do. It’s mostly all starters but a few backups have the chance to step in and take the reins so they get a mention.


18 (18) Alex Smith (Kansas City Chiefs)

The Game Manager. Alex Smith won’t win you a game and he won’t lose you one. He’ll give you a perfectly solid performance and leave it in the hands of other playmakers to make the difference. With a defence like KC’s and a running back like Jamaal Charles (the self-proclaimed ‘LeBron James of the NFL’) that isn’t such a bad option. Put him on the Buccs or the Titans and it’d be a disaster. So midway on the rankings seems about right for a player who is the quarterbacking equivalent of a toaster. Look, it’s not gonna give you a well-rounded three-course meal but you certainly won’t starve. Plenty of front office vultures would kill for such consistency. Having said that, it’s hard to be too generous to a QB who went the entire previous season without throwing a single touchdown to a wide receiver.

17 (23) Ryan Tannehill (Miami Dolphins)

Brace yourselves for the Year of Tannehill. The Dolphins playmaker made giant steps forward in his third NFL season, upping his TDs from 24 to 27 and cutting his INTs from 17 to 12 while going from 60.4% completion to 66.4% and breaking the 4000 pass yards barrier for the first time. He’s lost Mike Wallace but the team’s signed Greg Jennings and drafted DeVante Parker. The long ball may still be an issue. The pocket passing is not. Expect RT to climb another few spots in 2016.

16 (13) Eli Manning (New York Giants)

The word on the street is that the Giants wanna make Eli the highest paid player in the NFL. Obviously, there’s no way he deserves that and it sounds like he’s saying as much himself. But the market gives what the market gets. Eli’s a confounding individual who can look utterly hopeless for entire quarters and then put together a drive of near perfection just as easily. 2014 was a big year for him in every way except for wins. The NFC North is gonna be tough with what the Eagles and Cowboys can offer but Eli will have both Victor Cruz and Odell Beckham Jr. to throw to and whatever he does, he does in volume. It’s between Eli and Jim Plunkett as to who the worst quarterback to ever win multiple Super Bowls is, but that’s better than being the 29 people on this list without one.

15 (21) Carson Palmer (Arizona Cardinals)

Ol’ Palmdog moves up a few spots despite only getting in six games in 2014 before a busted ACL ended his season prematurely. Turns out there’s plenty of truth to that ‘Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder’ idea. While he was slinging it for the Cards, he felt like a potential liability on an otherwise great team. A risk taker who dealt in interceptions. Without him you realise just how much you take for granted a bloke that can carry the mantle of ‘Starting Quarterback’. 12 seasons in the NFL, a career completion percentage of 62.1% and the 53rd most interceptions all-time (155). Palmer’s never won a playoff game but dating back to week 13 of 2013, he’s won 13 of 15 regular season games, a better win percentage than any other QB in that time.

14 (11) Colin Kaepernick (San Francisco 49ers)

This is a crucial year for Kap. He cannot continue to be a mid-level passer and bank on his legs to get him out of trouble. He has to become a smarter and more refined QB. Long bombs alone won’t get you into the playoffs. As it also happens, Kaepernick is one of the few influential performers of the last few years left on this roster (and that includes coaches too), which may turn out to be a blessing. They can break things down and build them up in a way that far better suits how this man plays. If he can regain the connection he once had with Vernon Davis, and supposing the team stays committed to a powerful run game, then the signs are good. Torrey Smith will be a great downfield option. About time he put together a full season to match the expectation though, or else he’s never gonna crack this top ten.

13 (17) Matt Stafford (Detroit Lions)

A little high on the list? Nah, mate. Staff is a gun, a machine gun, and I’ve given him a boost this year despite a busted 2014 because he had to do that without Calvin Johnson for the most part. Hopefully he’s learned from that experience and now knows not to be so utterly reliant on the best WR in the game. Otherwise this ranking will look dumb. Like, it’s one thing to break records for most attempted passes in a single season but you maybe need to hit on a few more of them to make that worthwhile. Then again, quantity>quality is the USA way. It may as well be in The Constitution. How else do you explain two-foot-long hot dogs at ballparks and all-you-can-eat steak houses? Nonetheless, there was more than enough quality Stafford in 2014 to think this can be a breakthrough year for him. Five game-winning drives and a playoff appearance for starters.

12 (10) Cam Newton (Carolina Panthers)

The Panthers wanna turn Newton into more of a pocket passer and limit the play-action stuff some more. Cam Newton just signed a big extension. Those are two related facts. The problem is that they’ve lost Kelvin Benjamin for the season and that leaves Greg Olsen and not much else in the receiving corps. Ah, poor Cam. Yet, as fantasy players know, Newton is one of the best in the business. The numbers aren’t fantastic in isolation but augment them with his anticipated rushing stats (at a very conservative number, say 550 yds & 6 TDs) and you have a quarterback that knows how to get things done all by himself. He kinda has to.

11 (12) Joe Flacco (Baltimore Ravens)

Is Joe Flacco elite? It’s the philosophical conundrum of the modern era. The ‘Tree Falling in the Woods’ of our times. Flacco has a Super Bowl ring. He has a career record of 72 wins to 40 losses. The man is undoubtedly talented… but not elite. The fabled elite category this season begins with the next man up. But Flacco’s also not *not* elite. He exists in the purgatorial realms between the two categories. If there is a line in the sand, well, he is that line. Joe Flacco is the man by which elitism is judged. Is he better than Flacco? Yes? Then he is elite.

Joe Flacco, aka the NFL’s very own Love Tester.

10 (14) Phil Rivers (San Diego Chargers)

Rivers will always be a guy to throw the odd interception. 18 of them last campaign, that’s too many. However that doesn’t diminish the quality of the man. Rivers is not the kind of quarterback that beats around the bush (he has 7 kids). He doesn’t rely on supreme athleticism, he’s a good old fashioned American quarterback. I mean that in the 1950s Republican meaning of the word, too (as in Good Old Fashioned American Burgers or Assault Rifles or Institutional Racism). And he just signed a new contract, he’ll be around for a while yet, hitting receivers with beautifully arced passes as always. Except for the ones that get picked.

9 (9) Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons)

Ooh, Matty Ice. Few QBs are more reliable than he is and yet for some reason he keeps getting blamed for how bad his team has become. Them’s the breaks for a starting quarterback in the NFL, I guess. Check out his last two seasons though. The team went 10-22 and missed the playoffs both years and Ryan put up pro-bowl numbers:

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Maybe a couple too many interceptions is all. You can pretty much bank on him hurling 4500 yards and at least 25 TDs in 2015.

8 (4) Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints)

This one pains me. Brees has been a long-time member of the Indigo Plateau and now it is finally time for him to take a step down the rankings. I’m so sorry Drew, but you must have known this day was coming. Maybe if you could have joined another team, tailored an offence for your exact strengths like Peyton has done… alas no. The Saints look like a mess right now and they’ve reacted to a criminally weak WR selection by trading away their superstar tight end. Brees will bounce back (you’re some player when a down season constitutes anything under 5000 yards and *only* 33 TDs) it’s just that he can’t be expected to be quite the player he once was.

7 (5) Russell Wilson (Seattle Seahawks)

At this stage of his career, Wilson’s finally levelling out. For a while he was thought of as the second coming of Tom Brady, thankfully that’s all died down. Wilson isn’t a fantastic passer so long as you can keep him from escaping the pocket. Jimmy Graham at tight end will help that but you only have to look as far back as the final play of the 2014 season for proof. Yet we’re also talking about a player with an incredible mind for the game, and once he’s on his heels, he’s borderline unstoppable. A young QB with immense poise and control, capable of stepping up when he’s most required. This lad’s living the good life.

6 (7) Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

Do you know what Big Ben did last season? 4952 yards, 67.1% comp., 32 TDs & 9 INTs. That’s friggin’ historically outstanding. It feels like he should be winding down his career but he’s only 33 years old. These are peak years. And after getting all 16 games in last season there’s cause to say Roethlisberger’s the healthiest he’s been in a fair while. You’re allowed to still think he’s a dickhead. You’re not allowed to say he isn’t still at the top of his position. From this point on we’re talking about genuine MVP candidates.

5 (8) Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys)

Speaking of historic seasons, Tony Romo’s 2014 passer rating of 113.2 trails only Aaron Rodgers (122.5 in 2011), Peyton Manning (121.1 in 2004), Nick Foles (119.2 in 2013), Tom Brady (117.2 in 2007) and Peyton Manning (115.1 in 2013). Now, Foles was an anomaly who came in mid-season, started 10 games, and proceeded to go on a crazy no-interception streak. But the other four were all MVP seasons. The next four best were all MVPs too (Young, Montana, Rodgers & Brady). What I’m saying is: Romo is legit, whether you like it or not. And I noticed a major milestone in his career during the playoffs. Someone, I forget who, threw a crucial late interception and the internet went wild. Except that the jokes and memes didn’t all go for an easy Romo jab, as it’s been for almost a decade, but a Cutler one. Tony Romo is no longer the go-to interception thrower for hack comedians! The world is spinning on its proper axis once more.

4 (6) Andrew Luck (Indianapolis Colts)

They always say you need a certain amount of luck to win in the NFL but only the Colts took that advice literally. Andrew Luck is, hands down, the best quarterback in the league aged 25 or under. He can be a little reckless at times and he takes a few too many hits (which is as much his line’s fault as anything). Such is the case with a young QB and it’s easy to forget that he is as inexperienced as he still is (three years in the league) because he was immediately so comfortable in pros. Let’s sit back and adore how good he can be with Andre Johnson at second receiver and Frank Gore giving them an actual, tangible running game so he doesn’t have to keep forcing it all himself. Luck will be on top of this list one day, mark my words. And not just because I wrote them.

3 (2) Peyton Manning (Denver Broncos)

Again, Brady and Manning swap places as they always do. At 39 years old, could this be Peyton’s last season in the NFL? If so he’ll retire on top as one of the best of the very best. Just like he’s been his entire career. Apparently he still doesn’t have the feeling back in his fingertips four years after that neck surgery that could have ended his career. Instead he joined the Broncos, crafted an offence to his exact liking and went about his regular business of slaughtering regular season defences and losing in the playoffs. He doesn’t need to win another championship to stake his claim as the Greatest Ever. That debate will never be settled, which is the joy of it. Not that another ring would go astray, as you know that if he’s playing then he’s playing to win. And also to keep breaking records. Here are a couple set to fall in the next few months:

  • Career passes completed: 5927 (Brett Favre 6,300)
  • Career passing yards: 69691 (Brett Favre 71838)

He already owns these ones:

  • Passing TDs: 530
  • Game-winning drives: 52
  • 4Q Comebacks: 41

2 (3) Tom Brady (New England Patriots)

Back up to second where he sat in 2013. Yep, a Super Bowl will do that for ya. Brady is the master of the two-minute drive, a man who emerges from pressure at his full potential. People said his arm-strength was going, that he could no longer hit the deep throws. Well, that was never his game anyway. The legends never really diminish that much, Brett Favre made a pro-bowl aged 40, and they almost always retire on their own terms. Which is great news for Pats fans because if anyone thought that the Super Bowl was gonna spark a swift twilight waltz towards retirement, then that ain’t the case anymore with the Deflategate nonsense. Tommy Terrific has a new axe to grind. There’ll be no drop off this year from the second best quarterback in the NFL.

Drum roll please…

1 (1) Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers)

Call it a three-peat, Mr Rodgers is the Wildcard’s numero uno ranked QB for the third year running. There is none better. We’re talking about a man that threw 38 touchdowns to a mere 5 interceptions in 2014. Those numbers alone are all kinds of ridiculous, and that it wasn’t even his best season. 2011 Rodgers threw 46/6 in one of the finest MVP years ever witnessed in the League of National Football. With Rodgers sitting flush in the middle of his prime, there’s even a little daylight between him and Brady (plus Aaron Rodgers/Olivia Munn has officially overtaken Tom Brady/Gisele Bundchen as America’s premier sports-related power couple – a discount double blow for Tommy). No Jordy Nelson is less than ideal but let’s be honest… if there’s anyone who can handle it, it’s Aaron Rodgers. The Best Quarterback in the NFL since 2013 (and probably longer).


Click Here for Part One, #36-19