Last Week: 12-2

Season: 93-51

Tennessee Titans (6-3) at Pittsburgh Steelers (7-2)

Friday 2.25pm NZT

The crusade against Thursday Night Football will be taking a rest this week because this is, surprisingly, a really fantastic game. The Titans and Steelers are both looking at playoff spots, each limited in their own way on account of every team in the AFC has looked limited at times (even the Chiefs are dropping games now) but each with the upside that could provide postseason wins.

Tennessee are a bit funny though, they began the season as the consensus pick for breakthrough team of the year only to start things off at 2-3 and all that talk died a sudden death. Except now they’ve eaten three straight W’s (granted against the Colts, Browns, Ravens & Bengals) and are right back on track for something good. With four out of their next five games on the road, this might be a defining month for their chances… then again once they get past the Steelers they’ve got Indy (A), Houston, Arizona (A) & SF49 (A) to follow so even accounting for the plane trips that still oughta get them to at least nine wins and in that division – in this conference – that’s almost playoff material right there. The week 17 clash against the Jaguars could be division title defining.

They’ve gotta do something about protecting Marcus Mariota better though. They’re riding his playmaking but even Cam Newton doesn’t get hit as hard as Mariota does. An injury to him and all this speculation ends as abruptly as the Green Bay Packers, Arizona Cardinals and Houston Texans’ playoff hopes did.

You know which team has conceded the fewest points this season? The answer is, understandably, the Jacksonville Jaguars. But sitting comfortably in second is the Pittsburgh Steelers. Only 148 points against in nine games, they’ve only twice given up 20+ so far in 2017. And looking at their remaining schedule there’s really only one game where they’re likely to get taken to left and that’s home to the Patriots in week 16. All those dudes on offence that stand out and the Steelers are actually bringing back the 1970s defence on the sly.

Ryan Shazier has been immense, with three picks, two fumbles forced and a team-high 55 tackles but one bloke doesn’t do it all on his own. Vince Williams and Cameron Heyward each have 5.0 sacks. T.J. Watt (the brother of) has gotten some pressure on QBs too. Actually eleven different Steelers have dropped a quarterback this season – again, only the Jags have more team sacks. This Pittsburgh team need a re-evaluation. They’re a flippin’ juggernaut off the ball.

Wildcard’s Pick: Steelers by 6

Jacksonville Jaguars (6-3) at Cleveland Browns (0-9)

Monday 7.00am NZT

Let’s see here... the best defence in the NFL with the finest secondary unit since the dawn of Seattle’s Legion against a winless Browns team with a rookie QB who’s thrown three times as many picks as he has touchdowns. Even Blake Bortles couldn’t blow it from here.

Although The Bort did his best last week. Luckily it was against the Chargers so if there’s one team that’ll find a way to lose in ridiculous circumstances then it’s them. But letting Bort throw 51 pass attempts in that one is no way to win a game. He only managed 273 yards too – a measly 5.35 yards per attempt. He literally was more effective running the ball (6.8 y/a). Some teams always find a way to take logic and beat it ‘til it’s left on life support and the Jags continue to be one of them. And yet they still won.

Wait, wait… it gets better…

He was joking, what with his own 58.6% completion rate being 31st in the league among qualified starters and all, but that’s still remarkably funny. Kizer and CJ Beathard are the two blokes worse than Bort there.

Wildcard’s Pick: Jags by 8

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-6) at Miami Dolphins (4-5)

Monday 7.00am NZT

This is the game that got postponed when the hurricane hit Florida early in the season. Back when both teams still had thoughts of making the playoffs. And, like, if this was Jameis Winston against Ryan Tannehill then that wouldn’t sound so silly but times are a little different right now.

Erm, and that’s about all I have to say about that.

Wildcard’s Pick: Fins by 3

Baltimore Ravens (4-5) at Green Bay Packers (5-4)

Monday 7.00am NZT

Wildcard’s Pick: Ravens by 5

Detroit Lions (5-4) at Chicago Bears (3-6)

Monday 7.00am NZT

Hey now they let Mitch Trubisky go a little last week, didn’t they? I still haven’t see whatever it is that others have that’s got them convinced that he’s a dead set for the future but I’m also not about to start judging his career arc until he’s had a decent settling in period. Here’s the thing with quarterbacks: Dak Prescott and Carson Wentz look amazing? Sure, and they are amazing. But they play in front of superb defensive lines too. Derek Carr has had the same thing going for him. Andrew Luck looked fantastic without one but now look at him.

23 of 35 passing for 297 yards with a touchdown and no picks. Getting sacked five times wasn’t ideal but you sort of expect some of that from a guy who’s been handled so carefully so far. He’s not ready to waste a play or take the easy but short completion. Eventually he will be and he’ll learn to avoid those hits. Best completion percentage in a game though, most passes thrown, most yardage, third career TD. Those were good numbers for the lad. Something to build from.

Buuuuut the Bears still lost. To Brett Hundley and the Packers. Just as you can expect them to probably lose again to another division rival. Which is okay, the Bears realise that developing Trubisky is about all they have to do in 2017.

As for the Lions, they’re not even in such a bad position after doing what needed to be done against the Packers and Browns. They’ve lost some close ones and that kinda regression is normal for a team that relied on some insane late-game comebacks the last couple years, but they’re still sitting decent at 5-4. Beat the Bears a couple times over the rest of the season and it might only take two or three other results to get that wildcard spot – assuming that the 7-2 Vikings won’t be caught. That NFC Wildcard race has tightened right up with the Falcons beating the Cowboys last week:

1. Carolina Panthers (7-3)
2. Seattle Seahawks (6-3)
3. Atlanta Falcons (5-4)
4. Detroit Lions (5-4)
5. Green Bay Packers (5-4)
6. Dallas Cowboys (5-4)

Wildcard’s Pick: Lions by 10

Los Angeles Rams (7-2) at Minnesota Vikings (7-2)

Monday 7.00am NZT

Yup, weird to say it but this is an outstanding game between two very talented teams. Good luck to the jokers who picked both of these two to win seven games all season let alone within nine games. The Rams have gotten plenty of words about their rise, Jared Goff is playing serviceably enough and behind Todd Gurley at RB and the lads on that defence, that’s all you need. As for the Vikings, how do you understate that they don’t have their starting QB or their rookie star running back Dalvin Cook? Mike Zimmer is working wonders.

Case and point, this was Case Keenum’s line last week:

21/29 COMP | 304 YDS | 4 TD | 2 INT | 117.0 RATE

And he was on the Rams last year, haha. Just as Goff was for his abysmal rookie season. Maybe it isn’t Sean McVay… maybe it’s the absence of Jeff Fisher? Makes sense. Hey cheers up for Teddy Bridgewater too, back on the active roster again and feeling it.

There’s no wrong pick here. You can make serious cases for each of them. However I’ve also recently been alerted to a peculiar trend that’s been floating around all season: the Rams just played the Texans. They beat them easy, as more teams than not have done in 2017. Yet every team that’s played the Texans has gone on to lose the following week. Every single one of them. After nine games I fail to see how that isn’t a supernatural force at work here. Somebody call the Bookhouse Boys.

Wildcard’s Pick: Vikes by 3

Arizona Cardinals (4-5) at Houston Texans (3-6)

Monday 7.00am NZT

Alright, Carson Palmer takes on Deshaun Watson at… - oh no that’s right, it’s Blaine Gabbert versus Tom Savage. Hahaha, no thank you.

Wildcard’s Pick: Texans by 2

Kansas City Chiefs (6-3) at New York Giants (1-8)

Monday 7.00am NZT

Kansas City Chiefs first five games:

• W 42-27 vs New England Patriots
• W 27-20 vs Philadelphia Eagles
• W 24-10 vs Los Angeles Chargers
• W 29-20 vs Washington R*dskins
• W 42-34 vs Houston Texans

Kansas City Chiefs ever since:

• L 19-13 vs Pittsburgh Steelers
• L 31-30 vs Oakland Raiders
• W 29-19 vs Denver Broncos
• L 28-17 vs Dallas Cowboys

And then the bye.

The teams they’ve lost to are at least good, solid, competitive teams and those first two games of the season look even better in hindsight. No reason to panic here. However the Chiefs definitely need to right the ship sooner rather than later and with two trips to the New York teams bookending a hosting of the new Nate Peterson Bills they might just be 9-3 before you get around to doing your Christmas shopping. They’ll be a curious team to watch over the next month, you don’t wanna let such a marvellous start go to waste.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! THIS WEEK IN NEW YORK GIANTS NEWS!

Wildcard’s Pick: Chiefs by 10

Washington R*dskins (4-5) at New Orleans Saints (7-2)

Monday 7.00am NZT

The dude’s joking but he may as well not be. The Saints just dropped 47 points on a usually strong Bills defence and on eleven offensive possessions they didn’t punt once. Six touchdowns, two field goals, a fumble and two half-ending knees. Meanwhile the Bills punted six times. It’s like I’ve already been through the reasons why the Saints are getting it done but every week they go and up the stakes even more. We’re talking seven straight wins now, soon to be eight because I hate the Dirty Skins.

It does have to be said that they haven’t really beaten a great team over this streak. The Panthers and Bills were probably the best. That should change soon enough as they take on the Rams in week 12 – mate, things are getting wicked for the Rams – with the Panthers and Falcons to follow in divisional clashes. Massive divisional clashes, what with all three still in the playoff picture. The Saints are strolling towards a comfortable 12 wins though. At least.

By the way, Drew Brees? Only threw 184 yards with no scores. He didn’t have to – Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara both had 100+ rushing games. Bloody hell.

Wildcard’s Pick: Saints by 13

Buffalo Bills (5-4) at Los Angeles Chargers (3-6)

Monday 10.05am NZT

Unbelievable. They’ve benched Tyrod! All he ever did was the best he could with some very limited offensive weapons, an armoury that was weakened in the offseason by the way, and he helped this team continue to win even as all the preseason chatter was about their upcoming tank campaign. The Bills just got smashed, sure, but it was the defence that left the Saints with the ball for two-thirds of the game – like, what the hell is Tyrod gonna do with that? They’re still in the playoff positions and they just benched their starter!

The realistic perspective here is that Tyrod Taylor was never the preferred QB for this team and this moment was imminent from the start. Nathan Peterman… I don’t know who he is. He might be amazing or he might not be. Shout out to the team that picks Tyrod Taylor up in free agency this offseason because they’re gonna get a bargain. Ah well. So it goes.

Sean McDermott: “When you transition quarterbacks, I don't know if there's ever a right time. You know me well enough now to know that I make very few decisions from a knee-jerk standpoint. This was methodical. I took my time on this and I make every decision in the best interest of the football team, bar none.”

The Chargers lost to Blake Bortles even after he threw a borderline game-clinching interception near the end there. The Chargers deserve no love over here. But the Chargers also didn’t controversially bench their quarterback in the week of this game (at least not yet) and I dunno that the Bills players are gonna respond fantastically to that.

Wildcard’s Pick: Chargers by 4

Cincinnati Bengals (3-6) at Denver Broncos (3-6)

Monday 10.25am NZT

It’s preposterous that the Broncos have now lost five games in a row and sunk to the bottom of the AFC West. Completely preposterous. They’re not gonna get any better with their offence in the shape it’s in either, the Bengals have a similar record but could easily have beaten the Titans last week. They’ve lost four games by four points or less. Can’t really score all that much… but then neither can the Broncos. It’s tough to pick teams away in Denver yet arguably not as tough as it is to pick Denver anywhere these days.

Both these two are coughing up less than four yards per rush against them, neither are giving up many rushing scores. Running the ball is unlikely to be the answer which leaves things in the hands of the quarterbacks and the defence. Bugger the QBs… and bugger the Broncos defence now. Von Miller is incredible only he’s bringing almost literally all of their pass pressure. If he doesn’t do it then nobody does – hence why a team with Miller and his 8.0 sacks can still be in the bottom four in the NFL for pressuring opposition quarterbacks.

As for Brock Osweiler, here was the best, most accurate throw he made all game…

Wildcard’s Pick: Bengals by 3

New England Patriots (7-2) at Oakland Raiders (4-5)

Monday 10.25am NZT

WE’RE GOING TO MEXICO, AMIGOS!

Well, not me. Probably not you either. But the Patriots and Raiders are, along with plenty of team and league officials and some media folks and all those other boring people. The Raiders played in Mexico City last year and Derek Carr famously got a few lasers pointed in his eyes. Playing against the Texans then, you can understand that the Texas team had more of a connection with the Mexican fans, what with the shared border and all that. So it’ll be interesting to see if the Raiders can be like the London Jaguars, adopted by the foreign fans on their return. Because if the Patriots and their star power are the preferred jokers then the Raiders just forfeited home advantage against a team you really can’t afford to squander that.

For all the chat about this being the worst Patriots team in several years they’re cruising towards another division title, sitting on seven wins already. It hasn’t always been pretty but you can trust Brady/Belichick to figure out a way against weakened teams. They might be due a loss, I definitely hope so because the rest of their schedule is quite piss poor other than the Pittsburgh Steelers in week 15. If this team goes 13-3 then… honestly. So here’s to the Raiders whose season is hanging in the balance and their remaining fixtures are plenty tougher than the Pats’ lot (NEP, DEN, NYG, @KCC, DAL, @PHI, @LAC). Yet in that AFC picture it might only take a couple wins to get something going. Good teams win on bad days, that’s the most obvious difference (among many) between these two teams.

By the way, I won’t give a full MVP standings list this week, save that for down the line, but suffice to say that Tom Brady is probably the numero uno candidate now.

Tom Brady in 2017 – 67.3% COMP | 2807 YDS | 19 TD | 2 INT | 108.3 RATE

That’s fourth in completion percentage (but first in attempts), first in yardage (by over 250 yards), tied-second in touchdown passes, second in interception percentage and second in quarterback rating. This guy is 40 years old and he’s still playing like an MVP - that makes no sense! Amongst a wild and confusing season we’re surely taking that fact for granted.

Wildcard’s Pick: Brave fella over here… Raiders by 6

Philadelphia Eagles (8-1) at Dallas Cowboys (5-4)

Monday 2.30am NZT

I’m fighting the urge to panic just a little but after last week. The Cowboys had the chance to deal a serious blow to a fellow wildcard contender in the Falcons and instead got comfortably dealt with themselves, muddying those waters at a time when the Eagles seem to be running away with their division and just as Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension kicks in for real this time.

But it wasn’t Zeke that they missed the most. Tyron Smith was out too and Dak Prescott was suddenly sacked eight times in one game without the best tackle in football (shame on ol’ Lane Johnson, who’ll be lining up for Philly here). Also the defence looked fine until Sean Lee got hurt. The numbers with and without Lee are immense – his injury history is the only reason he can’t be considered one of the top couple of inside linebackers in the NFL.

Now it sounds like Lee could miss multiple weeks… argh NOOO! - wait, settle down. Breathe in, breathe out. Waves crashing on the beach. Cool drink of water. Birds chirping in the trees on a summer day. The smell of freshly cut grass. Yes, there we go. Happy place.

I’m curious about this Jerry Jones thing. Especially because I sorta think that he might be the good guy here! Unbelievable, I know. But he’s out there trying to sue the NFL and the owners or whatever because he doesn’t think Roger Goodell deserves his tabled contract extension. And he doesn’t like that a committee of six owners get to decide that stuff without the input of the rest of the owners. And Goodell has apparently asked for close to US$50m per year on the new deal including lifetime health insurance for him and his family and the lifetime use of a private jet. Health insurance I’d never deny someone but a private jet? Seriously? And why shouldn’t the other owners get a say?

What has this dude even done to deserve it? Terrible handling of multiple suspension cases which have landed in the high courts, all that domestic abuse stuff from a few years back (which still continues, just without a major profile case recently), all the concussion stuff (see below) the anthem protest stuff that got so out of hand on account of the NFL’s pathetic paid patriotism priorities… the NBA is running laps around this competition right now. I’m on Jerry’s side, sack the bastard.

Having said that, if Arthur Blank was to come out and say that Jerry’s only doing this because of the Ezekiel Elliott thing then he’d not be wrong. There are even whispers that Jerry was behind the Papa Johns Pizza criticism of the league (there’s some Trumpian stuff in there too but probably 75% of the league’s owners voted for Trumpelstiltskin). 

There’s so much to say about this game, it’s an enormous fixture. So much at stake. But I don’t wanna be here all day. Suffice to say that I think the Eagles will win and potentially ruin the Cowboys season but if Tyron Smith is able to play then that might not be the case. Dallas needs this one bad and that complicates everything.

Wildcard’s Pick: Eagles by 4

Atlanta Falcons (5-4) at Seattle Seahawks (6-3)

Tuesday 2.30pm NZT

An injury to Richard Sherman now is about the second-to-last thing the Seahawks needed. Russell Wilson’s still healthy but… damn. Add in Earl Thomas’ current fitness levels and Seattle might struggle to keep up the momentum into the playoffs.

Meanwhile meet Adrian Clayborn…

Six sacks in a game, that doesn’t even make sense. Poor Chaz Green, if you’re filling in for Tyron Smith and you let a bloke bag six sacks past your blocking then you might need to start thinking about alternative careers. Monstrous from Clayborn though, yikes.

Already dropped the playoff implications of this one, it’s not quite as massive as Cowboys vs Eagles but it’d damned close. Seattle are at home but they’re vulnerable with some of their injuries while the Falcons need to pick up from where they left off against the Cowboys. Easier said than done but if you read this thing every week (and why wouldn’t you!?) then you know that the Falcons have teased some real quality this season but they don’t yet have the consistency. Matt Ryan’s played really well the last few weeks though and Atlanta knocked these jokers out of the playoffs last season.

The last few Tuesday nighters have been tough to watch but this one looks like an exception. Quality TNF games on both ends? It’s gonna be a looong week.

Wildcard’s Pick: Falcons by 1

BYE: Carolina Panthers (7-3), Indianapolis Colts (3-7) New York Jets (4-6), San Francisco 49ers (1-9)

The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. He’d also like to apologise for having to agree with Jerry Jones earlier. It’s not something that is ever taken lightly and if any offence was caused then he can only offer his heartfelt sympathies for the damage caused by his words and actions.

Maaate, if you enjoy reading this bad boy every week then give a big old smack on a banner ad to say cheers. It’ll support us and your pockets won’t be any lighter.