The Quotable Steven Adams: 2016-17 Edition
If there’s a more quotable player in the NBA than Steven Adams then they don’t also have a classic kiwi accent. Or that yeah-nah, sweet-as, no-worries humour either. This was a dramatic season for Stevie and the Oklahoma City Thunder as they lost a favourite son to a controversial free agency decision and as a result we saw the unleashing of Russell ‘Now I Do What I Want’ Westbrook. It was a magnificent thing to witness but it didn’t earn them much more than a limp first round playoff exit… although that was more than many people expected of them.
Steven Adams spent a lot of time playing second fiddle to Westbrook’s improvisations, no problem there as far as he was concerned, though there were others out there who saw an alternative and that led to Kiwi Steve having to answer a few pressing questions on the matter. Luckily answering questions in a funny, insightful, relatable kinda way is a particular strength of his – right up there with dropping suckers in heavy screens, slamming down dunks and being best friends with Enes Kanter.
Thus without further ado, we present the best stuff that Steven Adams had to say this past season…
“Nah I was watching cartoons, mate. Some Japanese anime, I dunno if you watch that. That’s my stuff. One Piece. It’s about pirates and that. Don’t worry. One Punch Man as well, another classic.”
- The Spurs beat the Warriors on opening night, Kevin Durant’s first game for the Dubs since leaving the Thunder in free agency. But Steve had other things to watch that night.
“He’s got this presence about him, aye? It’s intimidating and he doesn’t talk to me at all. I played the English Card one time – he said something and was just like: No English. No English, mate, sorry.”
- Few ever mustered a solution to Kevin Garnett’s legendary trash talk during KG’s career… Steven Adams was one of the few.
“I don’t know if Russ was hurt because he’d never tell me, and he’d definitely never tell you. Russ is always the first person to help but if you try to reciprocate, he’s the last person to accept help himself.”
- The first of many Russell Westbrook anecdotes, this from the famous Lee Jenkins/Sports Illustrated profile on Russ from the preseason.
“Sometimes, when he’s not looking, I lie on his table and rub my ass on it.”
- Another of them anecdotes. Russ is a clean freak and doesn’t like Adams’ untied shoes (kiwi as, bro). He also has a favourite massage table. Hehehe…
“One way or another he lets you know where you stand and he doesn’t do it with a whisper. He does it with a few more decibels than that.”
- More Russ from the same article.
“Bastard…”
- The team went to Arcadia Farms on their annual picnic, where Steve compared moustaches with Captain Hook… and lost.
“It’s just defence, mate. Just like, making sure the drives, the deep paint, that we keep that under control. On the offensive end it’s running our stuff. Going side to side and making them guard.”
- Wisdom after the first game of the season, chatting that Thunder team identity.
“Oh yeah… if I make them. Don’t wanna throw them up and miss them, I was so mad, missing them dunks and stuff.”
- Seemed to be a little more offensive responsibility on Adams’ shoulders to start the new season, with a bunch more shots to feast upon. You digging that task, chief?
“It was good, mate. Standard.”
- Russell Westbrook drops 51-12-10 on the Suns and Kiwi Steve barely notices. Little did we know back then, that actually was gonna be standard for Russ this season.
"The biggest part was we had Russ. Russ did an amazing job of just controlling us as players, and then we got everything we wanted because he was scoring the basket and, obviously, they had to overhelp."
- Same deal as above
“It was good from the lads to just be disciplined and stick to the strategy.”
- Early win on the board against the Clippers, shout out to the lads.
“He’s never invited me to the movies.”
- Trouble in Stache Bro paradise as a trip to a local primary school unveils a dark secret from the Enes Kanter/Steven Adams friendship… although Enes maintains they saw X-Men together.
"Eat your veggies! Good manners! Clean your room!"
- Same trip to the same school, get some valuable life advice from the NBA’s number one New Zealander.
“All right, kids, listen to me read! All right, kids, that’s enough. Listen. Listen!”
- Just one more from school.
"Keep working his ass!"
- After Russ had given Enes Kanter the same advice during a 24-point outing against the Heat, Stevie caught up with Kanter on the way to a timeout huddle, started pumping his arms and marching on the spot saying the same thing. Enes and Russ both laughed.
“We can't come out and start like that. That's real hard to put yourself in a dog box. Then to have to work your way out of there, you're asking for an uphill battle straight away. Which is not good.”
- Damn-well dropped one to the Orlando Magic there. Old mate Serge Ibaka hit the game-winner and everything.
“He’s amphibious.”
- Russell Westbrook had a pretty fantastic left-handed dunk this game. (The word he was looking for was ambidextrous).
“Just happy it’s not me, pretty much. Thank goodness he’s on my team. But yeah that was crazy. Honestly he did a good job, couldn’t ask for better defence. Went up, verticality, avoided the foul…”
- When Russ dunks like that, what’s going through your head?
“I’ve played enough games with the wrap to be used to it. Either way it’s just that I sucked pretty much. That’s what the bottom line was, guys.”
- Tough game here, slugging away with a bandaged hand. But no excuses.
“I don't think I did anything wrong, but if I did, I'm sorry.”
- To his coach after a slightly debatable bit of contact with Brooklyn’s Trevor Booker.
“People don't like me, and it really upsets me! I want them to come to New Zealand. We have a lot of beer down there, mate.”
“We don’t flinch.”
“I was like, 'OK, whatever'. And then I read it in the Players Tribune, or whatever it's called.”
- Yeah that’s NBA guru-scribe Zach Lowe finally getting his mitts on Steven Adams for a chat. It was definitely worth the wait. First is a response to his agitator reputation, the second is a Thunder credo and the third a Durant thing. He pronounced the word ‘tribune’ as try-bune… which Lowe called ‘delightful’. Here’s the full article on ESPN.
“Hide your privates, mate.”
- Expert fashion tips from Russell Westbrook’s favourite big man.
“Who cares, man? iPads!! High-five!”
- Kids these days, they ain’t reading bro.
“You sure you wanna decrease the value of the picture?”
- Kiwi Steve doesn’t rate the worth of his autograph in a post-selfie world.
“FIRST TRY!”
- This may or may not have actually been on the first try… but it sure as hell looks cool.
“I’ve just been working on that. Coach Darko, that little Serbian guy over there, that’s his work mate. He’s been terrific. Has a lot of patience. What he does is he’ll come and, like, punch me in the stomach or slap me on the arm real hard and say: ‘make two free throws’. It’s not fun, I didn’t say it was fun.”
- For a while there Steven was hitting over 80% of his free throws. He regressed as the season went on but clearly he’d been practicing. As it happens, he even had a secret method.
“This is just stupid now! I hate it!”
- Enes Kanter found a leatherface mask in the car and, you know… strangeness ensued.
“It was strictly just to beat Enes. I didn’t care about anything else. Just as long as I beat Enes, then I’m good. Then I’m absolutely good, because you get to talk more trash.”
- Speaking of the Stache Bros, they have a regular after training shooting contest. Winner gets to talk trash (“It’s not printable, mate”). It also can contain minor fisticuffs (“He’s soft. He’s squishy”). Not so squishy according to the man himself, Enes says that bit of the show ended because he kept getting bruised. Read the full tale here on Norman Transcript, via Fred Katz.
“Not in front of you guys… nah. It’s just funny when it happens. As long as someone gets a rebound it doesn’t matter. As long as our team gets a rebound.”
- Y’all get a little irritated at Westbrook’s rebound hogging? Apparently not.
“It's good. It's French.”
- That’d be Joffrey Lauvergne’s beard we’re talking about there.
“I dunno, I haven’t researched it much. Obviously there’s things out there that actually need it. I’m no doctor, mate. The only thing I know is if dudes just want to go to another world, take that guy and they’ll keep their mind of it. In terms of medical… no idea, mate. Probably stick to the prescription. If a doctor prescribes it, it’d be your best chance, surely? You guys tell me.”
- Kiwi Steve talks medicinal marijuana.
“He's just a good dude and makes everyone around him better. Top lad. Top lad.”
- On that lad Russ again.
“As soon as I went in, it was weird coz, like, just as I released the ball I saw the timer. Right above the rim and I can see the timer and it was red… so I just dropped it and I’m like: lame.”
- After Paul Millsap put the Hawks up late, Westbrook missed a three to win it at the buzzer and Adams’ rebound and dunk is too late.
“Yeah I didn’t wanna be downbuzz. It was kinda one of those awkward thing like I was trying to celebrate with him, you know. It was kinda one of those ones. Yeah I kinda told him nah I’m late on that one and he’s like: oh okay. Still a good guy about it. Next time.”
- But Anthony Morrow didn’t realise it was late…
“Oh, hell nah!”
- Blame the refs.
“You might kinda like it, mate. Little safe word as well…”
- Enticing some media buddies into the tattoo parlour.
“Honestly I collect those, you know the pip-boy things? I got the pip-boy thing coming. I ordered one. I’m not sure if it will fit so hopefully it’ll go well. It’ll be awesome, mate.”
- Stevie just “geeking out” – in his own words – about the game Fallout.
“Your bigs need to call the screen out.”
- To Isaiah Thomas after absolutely flattening him with a brutal screen. Thomas replied knowingly. Nice camaraderie between opposing players, right?
“Are you saying I say too many nice things about him?”
- Asked to say a few words on a strong Domantas Sabonis game against the Celtics, as a friend and teammate, Stevie saw through the logic.
“It was cool. It's cool, just getting layups and stuff. It was all Russ. I just finished it off. Can't take credit for that one.”
- Bagged 22 points against the T-Wolves, his Stache Bro scored another 20… but save your praise for the main man (who scored 31 in the win).
“Nah he always does. You can’t judge him by his face coz like it’s going all over the place, mate. You can’t tell his emotions but he’s always enjoying himself. When he does, like, cool stuff, he likes to… you know [starts shuffling his shoulders]… I can’t do it, that’s terrible. You know what I mean. I’ve got no flavour, I’m sorry.”
- Does Russ have fun on the court?
“Nothing mate, it was just one of those broken plays where I just hustled back and he didn’t decide to do a layup and it’s just defence from there. Just squared up. I took a risk contesting his shot and luckily he shot and I got a little tip on the ball and yeah. Old mate hit a shot.”
- Big hustle on defence late in a win over Memphis, blocking Mike Conley’s shot which then set up a Victor Oladipo three to pretty much win this thing. Shot, bro.
“It was good, bro. I noticed my man was way back, the dude wasn’t looking so… go set a screen. Most guys they give him [Westbrook] a ton of space. He did a job of not jacking it straight away, really tried to use up the clock to make it a tougher shot for them. Use up the clock, come down there and make a big shot there. That was good recognition by him just to understand the time, awareness of that.”
- Some more of that late-game magic from Westbrook, this time in a win over the Jazz.
“He didn't mean to do it, obviously. It’s just one of those frustrating times where it just happened to like… he did what he did, you know. He's already hard on himself. No one else can be as hard as he is on himself. He's probably just feeling so under the weather. I feel bad for him.”
- Enes Kanter punched a chair against the Mavericks and broke his wrist, silly boy. His Stache Bro was sympathetic.
“Ooooh! That’s my boy! Yeah, it’s gonna be weird. Sucks, because I used to learn most of my stuff off him. He doesn’t teach me, just playing him, seeing what he does, different tricks, how he seals, all that stuff. So yeah, he will be missed. He will be missed. That’s my boy.”
- Naturally that’s Steve talking about the incomparable Tim Duncan there, before a match against the Spurs.
“I ain’t gonna lie, bud. Watching video, especially after a game, at like 2 in the morning — it’s rather hard to stay up. He maintains the same focus. It’s amazing.”
- They say the greats are all meticulous and according to a New York Times piece on Russell Westbrook, he’s no different. Even waking up old mate Steve in the middle of the night to run over an angle he might have missed on a play the last game.
“I don’t like to talk as much because people don’t understand me. I’d just rather play.”
- 24 seconds with Steven Adams.
“It was just one of those ones that we got a nice stop… I just wanted to see it go in. I was on edge, happy, like: Oooh my God, my child!”
- Jerami Grant’s 360 move in a win over the Cavs was something special. So special that coach Billy Donovan referred journalists straight to Steve for his reaction.
“Shoe just kinda gave out. I had them the whole year. It was its time, mate.”
- Lost a shoe in a loss against Denver. Don’t grieve, all things must pass.
“What happened to you? Didn’t punch a chair or anything?”
- Callback to Enes Kanter’s injury as Steve notices an intern in a sling.
“Darius Rucker. Ah, so good. That’s a tune – old ‘Wagon Wheel’. Tune.”
- A bit of musical taste here. He’s also keen on “whatever the top charts are” and “all the other stuff”. (And Backstreet Boys, as we already know).
“Taj is a nice guy. That’s just from his smile, he smiled at me and I was like: oh, what a nice guy. I dunno, a warming smile. I’m just saying a guy with a nice smile oh he’s a good guy, probably. That’s my gauge.”
- Trade Deadline and in came Taj Gibson and Doug McDermott. Taj in particular made an immediate impression. Taj returned the favour.
“He’s annoying man. He’s been talking so much trash, it’s unbelievable. I miss the dude.”
- An injured Enes Kanter is not the most amiable Enes Kanter.
“That was crazy. I didn't even get to see it. Sucks. My back was to it. I heard the bang and was like, aw, missed it.”
- Monstrous dunk from Russ against the Pelicans… but Steve was otherwise occupied.
“I fucking hate you so much…”
- Not a fan of them silly rims after another missed free throw there.
“You don't even realize it, bro, to be honest. You're just more worried making sure you're in the right spots and all that sort of stuff. But yeah, good job from him.”
- Yeah that’s him talking Russ again, obviously.
"Golden horses, fare thee well."
- Just a casual see ya later to the local press contingent.
“I can see it but I'm still gumby, mate. I’m uncoordinated. I still can't do the cool stuff.”
- Adams sums up his physical, selfless style of play to Sports Illustrated.
“When I was a rookie receiving contact, I would be disconnected. My upper body would be going this way, lower body going that way. It would just be a bad shot because it was off-balance, y'know? Now I'm kind of anticipating it and I'm a lot stronger, so I can maintain that balance while I'm taking a hit. That's really what it comes down to. Not getting out of your own cylinder of balance, if you will.”
- More from where that last one came from.
“Oh yeah definitely. It’s just that communication thing, bro, it’s just like a timing thing, a more efficiency thing. Being aware. Stuff like that bro, it’s just slow. Obviously I’m gonna say I played bad if anything goes wrong, any mistake happens in the game, obviously I’m gonna say I played bad.”
- A few defensive struggles after the All Star break to respond to.
“ROOMIES! Enes, so what’s the one thing we like more than our moo-staches?”
“I don’t even know who you are anymore, mate. Of course the only thing that we love more than our moustaches is our leader, our hero, our fashion icon, the King of the Prairie… Russell Westbrook!”
“We are the Stache Bros and we approve this message.”
- Quite possibly the finest moment in off-court Steven Adams history was the unexpected drop of his and Enes Kanter’s MVP rally vids for Old Rusty Westbrook. Replete with blue satin blazers, a burning fireplace, old English pipes and photos of Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck… it’s nothing short of marvellous.
“Today we’re going to take a break from planning our monthly Disneyland trip to talk about our favourite guy: Russell Westbrook.”
“Is that All-Defensive Team candidate Andre Roberson?”
“We want to know Andre, would you rather guard Russell Westbrook or wrestle a snake? Okay okay… would you rather guard Russell Westbrook or swim with alligators (obviously I know you can’t swim, so…).”
“There you have it and not surprisingly Russ is more ferocious than a honey badger. Nick, cue the video!”
- But wait, there’s more!
“Not much different, to be honest. They still pose a threat. They’re really unselfish with the ball so any team that’s unselfish with the ball, constantly moving, it doesn’t really matter who they play. It’s kinda Spurs-like.”
- Up against the Warriors but Kevin Durant’s out injured. No difference in Steve’s mind.
“We’re best friends. Nah he’s awesome man. Ever since I came in awesome. Just from his voice bro, you know Morgan Freeman type voices? He’s got one of those voices so you’re like: oh sick. We kicked it off straight away.”
- Steven Adams + assistant coach Mark Bryant.
“Welcome back to our living room. We were talking about the Godfather of the Moustache: the one and only Tom Selleck.”
“Salutations, sir.”
“It’s not your fault you can’t wear it like the MVP.”
- Another incoming message from the Stache Bros.
"I mean, it's just awesome seeing it go in."
- Russ with a game-winner against the Mavericks, having sparked a huge fourth quarter comeback already. Get it in ya.
"Pretty good mate. Puts a bit of lead in the pencil."
- Speaking of that same Mavs victory, here’s one for the personal idiom rotation.
"Thank you, squire."
- In other words: cheers for the beverage.
“Welcome back to our home. Today our special guest is Thunder Claus.”
“Didn’t you play with him? Oscar Robertson?”
“Is it true that one time Russell landed the team plane in an ice storm?”
“Oh no he’s fallen… and he can’t get up…”
- Thunder Claus takes part in the campaign.
“Not at all. It’s just the same stuff. Sometimes the ball goes in more than normal and sometimes it doesn’t. Just the fact that he’s a good dude. I’ve never been in awe of any basketball player or anything it’s just like if you’re a good bloke then yeah. He’s a top man, I can kinda be his friend. That’s how I look at it.”
- Russ being Russ is nothing amazing to Steve, he’s only out there trying to make new mates.
“It’s really gross. I’m only trying it out just coz I’ve never grown it before. Scared off a lot of people. But yeah, we’re just seeing how it goes. Thoughts? Comments? What are your thoughts?” [Told it’s “pretty scraggly”] “Thanks mate, I’ll take that as a compliment. Cheers. Leave on that note, fare thee well.”
- Beard talk with a Stache Bro.
“I don’t want him to play angry, no, because then everyone loses. Because then I get in trouble, whole team gets in trouble. Nah it’s not anything like that. He’s just so competitive, man, so it doesn’t matter. It just comes off aggressive.”
- Keep Russ calm or Steve is gonna get in trouble.
“To me it’s weird. I personally think it should definitely be him but I don’t know. Regardless. Whatever mate, he’s still the MVP in our hearts and that’s all that matters.”
- Russ for MVP, both basketball and cardiac.
“I dunno mate, I’m not a numbers guy mate. Nothing upstairs, so…”
- Mr Adams ain’t counting triple doubles.
“For me, honestly, he’s a man of the people. He’s a people guy. So that’s why I think he should be MVP. Such a great dude. What he does for the community is outstanding. And just as a teammate, outside of basketball, he’s like a top lad. He’s the MVP of our hearts.”
- More campaigning, starting to settle on a slogan too. This from a USA Today piece.
“He’s the boss but he’s also a pretty average bloke.”
- Thoughts on OKC Thunder GM Sam Presti, courtesy of Sports Illustrated.
“Just happy that the dude’s on our team. We’re like: yeah! You know, he’s a smart dude. Been around the game a long time. Pretty much we were looking at him kinda like an oracle… yeah, that’s our boy!”
- Last game of the season, Oscar Robertson gave Russell Westbrook his MVP seal of approval and the Thunder lads were impressed.
“He wrote a letter? Surely he didn’t write it. No way. There’s no chance he wrote – bro, that guy is terrible at English. Was it in English?”
“What a weirdo aye? What is he doing?”
“Not a chance mate. My diary? It’s trash.”
- Enes Kanter wrote some words for the Players Tribune about Westbrook’s MVP case and more. Kiwi Steve had some reservations. First about Enes’ writing ability and then about his own.
“Looking at video, bro, it's down to positioning, getting those reads on when to go. You can't be premature about it, otherwise they do what they do. We cleared it up a lot more, bigs and guards. We've just gotta make sure we come out more aggressive with more physicality, forcing them to do stuff rather than letting them do stuff.”
- After getting pasted in their first playoffs game against Houston, Adams had some thoughts about their defence. Via NewsOK.
“I don't know mate, that's for people much smarter than me. My coach, if he determines we can get a really good advantage as well as not give up as much, if he sees sort of an advantage there, then yeah. But we've just gotta wait and see, mate.”
- Leave the mid-series adjustments up to the fellas with the clipboards. NewsOK again.
“…”
- First ever podium game for Adams… couldn’t get a single word in.
“He’s okay, mate. It’s alright, he’s a big boy. He can handle it.”
- Enes Kanter spent a lot of the Houston series on the bench, but he’s fine.
“On the basketball side they were just taking stuff away. Rolls and stuff like that, packing the paint or whatever. I had to adjust to that and what not. Outside of that the team chemistry was amazing. Honestly, with everything that happened and what we have being able to actually make it this far is amazing in itself.”
- A tough end to a proud season, lots has changed but the Thunder proved a lot of people wrong in staying hot despite the player turnover. Must be exit interview time.
“One of our players was having a tough time. And, ah, I was kind of like in the background, hidden. I wasn’t stalking or anything I was actually taking a shower, to be honest. But I kinda peeked over and he was having a word, he was really just trying to bring one of our players up, our teammates, and really help him out mentally and get him back on track you know. That was when I was like: this guy is legit. He’s actually a legit dude for doing that. He went out of his way to really try and help the dude out.”
- Another tale of Russell Westbrook wonder.
“Wait until I get diminishing returns, it’s not there yet so wait ‘til it plateaus and I’ll probably cut it.”
- Hair chat.
“Yep, I mean… I’m capable of doing it, just that… it’ll suck. It’ll be a terrible shot. But I am capable of doing it, it’s just getting to that point where it’s gonna help the team not screw us up. Eventually. Wait and see, see what the coaches say.”
- Any chance of adding some range to that shooting there, mate?
“The ability to process it and move on with it. That’s like the best ability to have. Like, yeah you made a mistake, what could you have done better, positioning or whatever, then move on. Next time try and fix it, you know.”
- Life advice from a pro sportsman.
“Nah, the only effect that it had was mainly… playing defence, putting hands on dudes hips or whatever, when they turn it kinda just turns the thumb. Like re-spraining an ankle. It eventually got healthy.”
- Chucking some water on the theory he was playing injured with that recurring hand thing late in the season.
“The people that haven't been. All the other ones I haven't invited, they invite themselves which sucks. They just think that they're coming along and I'm trying to stop them at the border. Lock them out. But making sure that everyone gets to come down and see what it's all about, have a good time."
- So who’s getting invites to New Zealand this offseason?
“Bro! Katchafire is in Orlando!”
- Cheeky kiwi tunes to close the show, from a well-timed away trip in March.
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