FIFA, You Silly Buggers

This story’s evolving quicker than one can type so forgive any anachronisms. Sepp Blatter was re-elected in defiant fashion… then he resigned a few days later. Allegations of a $10m bribe over the hosting of the 2010 World Cup emerged, targeted at one of Sepp’s closest FIFA buddies. FIFA tried to offload the blame from that dude onto a different dude (who happens to have died since then so… that’s convenient), but with all the mud being flung at the Federation (mostly by the FBI), this was as close as anyone’s gotten to Uncle Sepp.

Maybe that frightened him (unlikely) or maybe there’s more to come (extremely likely). For the first time, the FBI mole – Chuck Blazer – has admitted that he took bribes during his time with FIFA. I mean, we literally all knew that that was the case, but this was him finally getting it off his chest.

And he’s not the only one threatening to blow the whistle.

Trinidad and Tobago politician/businessman/former FIFA executive Jack Warner swears he will reveal all amidst fears for his life over what he knows. The only way FIFA could become even more of a mafia organisation in people’s minds is if people started turning up in concrete shoes at the bottom of rivers.

Warner was one of the 14 men facing charges from US officials after the Zurich Raids the other week. He’s the man who allegedly took that $10m bribe, and he’s widely believed to have offered kickbacks of his own.

"There are some people here who think they are more pious than thou. If you're pious, open a church, friends. Our business is our business" – Alleged Jack Warner quote, via BBC.com

Of course, this is also the same man who earlier this week launched an impassioned defence of himself online in which he non-ironically cited an article from satirical news site The Onion. Whoops.

Jack Lad

There’s nothing like a post-trophy bus-top parade to sort out the party animals from the reserved professionals in a team. And as far as drunk and disorderly (in the best possible way) footballers go, Jack Wilshere must be right up there. He’s a very good player, who plays hard and passionate, but when the dude cuts loose then you really do emphasise the ‘loose’.

Here he is inciting some profanity-laced anti-Spurs chanting after Arsenal won the F.A. Cup:

Unfortunately the F.A. don’t have much of a sense of humour, and have charged Jackie Boy with misconduct, even after he issued an apology. Apparently he was warned for something similar last season, and could at worst face a suspension for the start of next season.

Shout Out To Rogerio Ceni

The Brazilian scored a late winner from the penalty spot to help his Sao Paolo side defeat Santos 3-2 in the Brazilian top division. That was his 128th goal for the club, moving him into the top 10 all time. Here’s the catch… he’s a goalkeeper.

Papiss The Fleece

Newcastle striker Papiss Cisse was married this week, tying the knot to his Senegalese volleyball fiancé Diallo Awo in a romantic ceremony in Paris. A beautiful and touching occasion for all involved… except maybe his English girlfriend.

According to reports, he told ‘girlfriend’ Rachelle Graham (a former ‘Miss Newcastle’) that he was heading off on holiday for a while, and when he didn’t respond to her texts for a while she started to get worried… until she heard the news of his wedding. In fact, it sounds like there may even have been a third woman involved, with a Durham dance studio owner also thinking she had a long-term future with the footballer. She may have even packed his bags before he left, by some reports.

What a dog, aye?

Miss Graham responded to the media coverage on twitter.

Pirlo’s Pick

“I have been so fortunate to have played with so many incredible players throughout my career, but if I could pick one that I never got the chance to play with, it would be Paul Scholes. One of the all-time greats. A genius on the field, but private – no circus around him off it. I have a lot of respect for him.” – Andrea Pirlo

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