Mourinho's Notebook - Free Eva, The Tinkerman’s iPod & More Mad Mario
Poor Old Eager Eva
Despite performing her job to the exact letter of its description, Eva Carneiro, Chelsea’s team doctor and the only team doctor that anybody outside their own club knows the name of, has been demoted after drawing the ire of manager Jose Mourinho.
The incident in question happened when Eden Hazard went down hurt late in the game against Swansea. Chelsea were already down to 10 men and holding on to a 2-2 and having Carneiro and physio Jon Fearn attend to him meant that he then had to go off to be treated, leaving the Blues to defend their goal with only 9 men on the field in the third minute of stoppage time.
Mourinho then ripped into the pair in his post-match presser:
"I wasn't happy with my medical staff because even if you are a medical doctor or secretary on the bench, you have to understand the game. If you go to the pitch to assist a player, then you must be sure that a player has a serious problem. I was sure that Eden didn't have a serious problem. He had a knock and was very tired. My medical department left me with eight fit outfield players in a counter-attack after a set piece and we were worried we didn't have enough players left."
He also called his medical staff “impulsive and naïve”.
First of all, let’s establish that the medical staff cannot enter the field of play without being summoned on by the referee (in this case Mike Oliver, who did just that). Plus the fact that Eden Hazard is actually quite a crap defender. Or that perhaps some of this anger ought to be directed at Hazard for staying down in the first place and making this a situation (though it definitely looked like he was proper hurt when it happened).
So with that knowledge in place, it’s no shock that Carniero and Fearn have received widespread support for their actions, not in the least from the Football Medical Association. Carneiro even took to Facebook to thank all of her supporters.
Unfortunately that probably made things worse. Because in backing people who were effectively telling her that her boss was out of order, she’s publically siding against Mr Mourinho in a way. While that didn’t break the strict social media guidelines that Chelsea employees must adhere to, it certainly won’t have endeared her to Jose.
And it sounds like Jose’s been having frustrations with the medical staff for a while now. Most of that is centring on Diego Costa and his dodgy hamstrings. While he didn’t need to be operated on (there was nothing an operation could do to his hammies anyway), he did need much strengthening of the muscles, work that’s been undertaken by the club’s physiotherapists and masseurs (yes, they have masseurs, most PL clubs do). Yet this new season rolls around and the issues seem to still remain.
Carneiro will no longer attend matches, trainings or team hotels but will remain as the team doctor working out of an office at their Cobham training facilities. Fearn has also been demoted from his role on the bench during matchdays.
What’s craziest is how much of a story this has become. Jose Mourinho tends to incite these kinds of things and this has been no different. But Carneiro’s coverage is far outweighing Fearn’s, who was equally culpable (assuming anything was done wring in the first place) and has been punished just the same. And it’s not like Mourinho singled either of them out.
But Carneiro is no stranger to headlines. As one of the very few female faces on any bench at any high-ranking football team, she was already attracting unwanted attention from the Neanderthals that walk among the terraces (we’ve all seen a few of them). And while more people have backed her and Fearn over Mourinho, there have been a few people waving their hands wildly from the other side of the street. The guy she replaced in her role back in 2011 has called her a “celebrity doctor”. Sounds like that idiot wants his old job back.
For the record, Carneiro is a fully qualified medical professional, with a Masters in Science and prior experience with West Ham United, the England women’s football team and the 2008 Great Britain Olympic team.
It is a tough job, football management. Pressure builds and who gets held accountable? Not the players, usually. And in a job in which so much depends on control, injuries are one of the biggest uncontrollables. Last year long-time Bayern Munich club doctor Hans-Wilhelm Müller-Wohlfahrt and three of his staff quit unexpectedly after Pep Guardiola allegedly placed the blame for a recent defeat at their doors, though Pep later denied laying such blame.
Sing Us a Song for the Tinkerman
DRUM SOLO!
Leicester City got their season off to a fantastic start, beating Sunderland 4-2 (3-0 up at half time!) to briefly go top of the Premier League table (admittedly the sample size was pretty small…).
What can we credit the result to? The tinkerings of Claudio Ranieri? The industrialism and creativity of Riyad Mahrez and Marc Albrighton? According to Mr Ranieri, a whole lot of credit goes to the band Kasabian.
Their song ‘Fire’ blasts out of the stadium sound system as the Foxes run out for each home game. Party because it’s a cool, upbeat song and partly because the band are all locals who support the team. Claudio obviously knew he was playing to the crowd when he said:
"I told my players, 'When you go on the pitch and you hear the song from Kasabian, that means they want warriors.’ Kasabian are a fantastic rock band from Leicester and I think the guitar man, Serge, is Italian. It's good and I think [the fans] love fighters. We are fighters. I'm very pleased with the performance of the players.”
Said Italian/Leicester guitarist Serge Pizzorno was notably stoked at the praise of a 63 year old man:
"We've done some mad things, but that's up there with the ultimate. I could give up all of my awards back, [this will] do me."
Meanwhile, never one to be outdone, Louis Van Gaal celebrated his 64th birthday with Manchester United’s 1-0 win over Spurs, and he treated those at his post-match presser to a little Beatles singalong:
Merry Mario
It’s become pretty clear that Mario Balotelli will not play for Liverpool again. As Brendan Rodgers continually emphasises ‘character’ and ‘teamwork’, it seems that Super Mario will never live up to those ideals.
A story has emerged this week in the Telegraph about the moment when his place in the squad became untenable. It was in the week before Liverpool lost 4-1 to Arsenal last season. A 10 vs 10 game in practice, featuring some academy players and those competing for places on the bench against the Gunners. Balo was on the weaker side. At one stage he inexplicably turned around and fired an unstoppable shot past keeper Brad Jones for a spectacular own goal. From half way. He then cracked up in laughter by himself in the centre circle at what he’d done.
The article, written by Simon Hughes, also tells that by Christmas Balotelli had yet to learn the names of some of his teammates. And not youngsters either but regular first teamers.
It was a month after the OG incident before Balotelli played again and the club are still actively trying to sell him. Yet Mario has a reason to hang on, it seems if he’s still at the club when the transfer window closes then he’s due a six-figure loyalty bonus as stipulated in his contract. There’s a good agent, there. It was his 25th birthday this week as well. Cue liquid celebrations.
One of the dudes in that video is Desmond N’Ze, a former pro footballer (last seen in the Japanese third division) who knew Mario from when he was at Inter and has since retired to act more or less as Mario’s personal assistant/bestie. N’Ze would regularly show up at Melwood (LFC’s training ground) with Mario, before management made it clear that he wasn’t welcome. Now he sleeps in Mario’s Ferrari in the parking lot until his buddy is finished training.
Seems like he does get on far better with the players than he does with the staff at least. Alberto Moreno had this to say:
“I think he’s unfairly maligned. He’s a very relaxed guy – he never bothers anyone. He could be a great striker: he’s got the tools. Things haven’t gone well for him here. He’s really struggled to score goals. ‘This had never happened to me before,’ he told me. I wish him the best if he ends up leaving because he’s a great lad.”
While a number of teammates showed up to wish him happy birthday.
No Harm No Foul
In the wake of England’s amazingly comprehensive Ashes victory in the cricket (still feels weird to say that), one of their past favourite sons is embarking on a new career path… as a football manager, taking the reins at Ashington AFC.
(Mostly) fast bowler Steve Harmison was one of the heroes of the 2005 Ashes campaign. It was he that got the final wicket at Edgbaston that changed the course of the series, Michael Kasprowicz feathering one down leg side to the keeper. But while Harmy’s batting may not have been anything to write home about, he was once a promising all-rounder of a different nature.
Turns out he was a pretty solid footballer back in his youth. He was already playing for Ashington in 1996 when he was given his first country contract with Durham. Harmison went on to take 226 test wickets but all through his career he’d often still train with the club to build up his fitness. Plus there’s a family connection with his older brother having played for them and his father a former assistant manager. One of Steve’s first moves was to sign his younger brother to the team (not a nepotistic move, James Harmison has an enormous amount of experience at that level).
Lest anyone think this was a publicity stunt, it was actually Harmison who put his name forward for the job. And after losing his first couple of games, with his team in relegation trouble, Harmy then sparked something in his lads and they embarked on a seven game unbeaten streak. Now he’s about to take the dugout in an FA Cup qualifier.
If you were wondering, Ashington play in Northern League 1, effectively the ninth tier of English football. Their best ever FA Cup run was when they made the third round in 1926-27. The club is based in the same small Newcastle town that produced Bobby and Jack Charlton, a mining community, with an average home crowd of 222 people last season. Harmy’s buddy Andrew Flintoff played in a pre-season game for them last month.
The plan is to get his coaching badges next and see how far he can make it in this game.
"I love being a football manager. It's a great challenge and I like being around non-league players for their enthusiasm. I can't wait for the FA Cup." – Steve Harmison
Please Make It Happen…
“I spoke to Rooney and discussed the possibility of me inviting the team to Oktoberfest but I don’t know how much time we’ll have.” – Bastian Schweinsteiger
Trouble, Trouble, Trouble
“The problems are in defence, midfield and attack.” - Sinisa Mihajlovic, new AC Milan manager, has his work cut out. Good confidence boost for the keeper, though.