Handshake? No Way Jose

Last week it was Jose Mourinho’s beef with Rafa Benitez, this week it’s his tiff with Arsene Wenger. Can’t we all just get along!?

Apparently not. After the Community Shield, in which Wenger got the best of Mourinho for the first time since the Special One returned to England, Mou made a conspicuous effort to shake the hands of every Arsenal player as they made their way down the stairs with their winners’ medals, but as Wenger came down after them, the Frenchman took a sharp turn to avoid him.

Ooh, damn. Someone call the cops before this thing escalates into a hail of bullets.

“I don't want to make a story of it. If you walk in the street you are not obliged to say hello or shake your hand with anyone.” – Jose Mourinho

He’s playing it down, but this rivalry is a real thing. They’ve been going back and forth for years and there’s no way Mourinho can be happy at losing his 13 game unbeaten streak against Wenger.

Remember that time Jose called Arsene a voyeur? That was after Wenger had made a bunch of comments about Chelsea’s success, like reflecting the criticism at his own team’s lack of home-grown players onto Chelsea, as well as having a dig at their tactics. So Wenger then called Mourinho stupid (“When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent”). Which led Mourinho to go off again about Wenger’s obsession with him and his team.

After Mourinho left there was still the odd barb here and there. Wenger talking down about how Mourinho’s teams are conducted, Mourinho slamming Wenger’s lack of recent success.

Ah, but upon returning to the Premier League, the rivalry heated up once more like a bonfire sale in Southampton. The first notable jab was Wenger’s unhappiness at Chelsea selling Juan Mata to Manchester United after they’d already played United twice. Then Wenger suggested that Mourinho was playing down his title chances because of a “fear of failure”. Bad move, Arsene.

“Am I afraid of failure? He is a specialist in failure. I’m not. So if one supposes he’s right and I’m afraid of failure, it’s because I don’t fail many times. So maybe he’s right. I’m not used to failing. But the reality is he’s a specialist because, eight years without a piece of silverware, that’s failure.” – Jose Mourinho.

Next thing you know, there are shoves on the sideline as the pair (and their football teams) met early last season.

Boring Chelsea became the mantra at the Emirates.

"You know, boring I think is 10 years without a title. That's very boring. You support the club and you're waiting, waiting, waiting for so many years without a Premier League title, so that's very boring. But maybe they aren't singing to us." – More Jose Mourinho.

And Wenger may have finally struck a blow on the pitch, but if you ask Mourinho – and someone did – he’ll say they left their philosophy in the dressing room to do so. They out-Chelsea-ed Chelsea.

Meanwhile the League Chief Richard Scudamore says he has no problem with the handshake snubs. As far as he’s concerned, it’s better than faking friendliness. And dammit he’s right. The more overblown drama the better. There’s a reason we named this column after Jose’s thinky pad.

Boogie Nights

There’s a new book out about Diego Costa and his rise from brilliant striker for Atletico to brilliant but usually injured striker for Chelsea. From Brazilian international to Spanish international. From pest to serial troll.

And if the new tome, Diego Costa: The Art of War (written by Fran Guillen), is anything to be believed, he’s just as much fun off the field as he is on it.

Back in his early Atletico Madrid days, he spent some time on loan at Albacete. He’d have been about 20 year old. This was a young kid living the life, and he’d often have friends over for barbeques and to play poker.

Costa would also have movie nights, it seems. Here’s a quote from the book from Albacete admin bloke Vicente Ferre de la Rosa:

"On one occasion they [Costa and friends] had a porn movie blaring out and the poor woman came down to tell them to turn the volume down. ‘What’s the matter? Don’t you like making love?’ a wide-eyed Costa asked her sweetly".

Friendly porn screenings. Dirk Diggler would be proud.

In related news, here’s a quote from Marouane Fellaini’s girlfriend on Belgian TV:

"What can I say? He can do more than just play good football".

These bloody footballers. It’s a wonder they even have time to spare those 90 minutes on Saturdays.

This One Goes Out to the Ladies

Manchester United’s new Adidas kit was revealed this week. Plain red with white stripes, it’s a good looking jersey for sure. But it’s noteworthy for the fact that it’s being offered in a women’s version too.

Other clubs have done this too. Chelsea do offer a women’s jersey, as do Tottenham and Arsenal, though theirs are pretty faithful to the male version. This United one, well… it’s a little controversial.

Specifically for the fact that the neckline’s cut down almost to the end of the sleeves.

Adidas have defended the jersey, saying it’s designed “to give fans a choice”. Which is semi-fair to say, since the gals could just buy the men’s offering. But a little more modesty probably wouldn’t have gone astray, given football ground tend not to be the friendliest places for women anyway.

Also not helping: The fact that Manchester United, the biggest brand in English football, do not have a women’s team, and have not had one for over a decade.

Probably still not as offensive as the West Ham ladies’ kit, though:

And speaking of horrific kit based controversies:

OH DEAR GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WAYNE!? Oh wait, the ‘day of the release’ probably means you haven’t had time to take a new photo since all the Adidas gear was literally under wraps ‘til then. Yeah, probably not such a big deal then.

Ronaldo Doesn’t Care About FIFA

It’s Spelt B-O-G-D-A-N, Dammit!

Keano Says:

“Arsenal have some really good players - some good characters who roll their sleeves up. But they also have one or two players who are more interested in selfies and six-packs, guys who are trying to get their pictures taken every day of the week. Listen, every year we hear the same thing about Arsenal being contenders. Instead of focusing on the Premier League, it's all about how their bodies look, how their hair is, more so than winning football matches." - Roy Keane

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