Last Week: 7/11

Overall: 135/324

Norwich City vs Sunderland

Saturday 11.45pm (NZT)

This is where we get weird with the fixtures. All sorts of reschedulings with the FA Cup postponements to catch up on so I’ve split them down the middle, meaning I may need to do this thing a day earlier next week, dunno. Or I’ll just tweet the three Thursday picks out and not write ‘em up. West Ham vs Watford, Man Utd vs Palace and Liverpool vs Everton. Argh, those are all decent games. We’ll see how it goes.

So we kick things off this weekend with yet another relegation battler. At least one of these two teams is going down and this could be the decisive game – the relegation six pointer as the cliché goes. There are a few lines of thinking here. Norwich have the better defence. Sunderland have the better attack. Norwich seem better at sneaking results while Sunderland have been pretty good the last month at avoiding defeat. Those draws could be the difference in saving them but only if they can nab a couple wins as well. In the interest of keeping things close – and because I think they’re due – I’ll give Big Sam his due. In a funny way that I’d never have predicted six months back I’d kinda rather see Sunderland in the big time next season of the four bottom sides. Newcastle I had hopes for but… well, we’ll come to them next.

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 Sunderland

Newcastle United vs Swansea City

Sunday 2.00am

On second thought I don’t wanna talk about Newcastle. This has been a disaster season. Next season might be even worse with some of the contract they need to get off the books. Rafa Benitez will surely be gone if they’re in the Championship but Jonjo Shelvey wants to stay. Cool, good on him. But given that there’s no wage cut to his £80k a week deal in that happenstance, that might not be the best option for Newcastle. Same goes for Andros Townsend. I understand if these were pre-season deals back when things were optimistic – I’ll go through my pre-season predictions at some point but suffice to say I had Toon finishing tenth, yuck – but to make that mistake on two January signings when the club was already knee deep in the relegation zone is so stupid.

Their opponents this weekend though, they’re much smarter. They just got paid £300,000 by Man City thanks to a clause in Wilfried Bony’s contract if he made the Champions League semi-finals. Bony played a full two minutes in the two-legged quarters. That total rises as high as £1m should City win it all.

Funny story: Swansea have taken 20 points from nine PL games against Newcastle.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 Swansea, yeah there it is

Manchester United vs Aston Villa

Sunday 2.00am

I’m all for fluid positioning and whatever, dudes have gotta have a few strings to the bow, but when Ashley Young is coming on at striker as an impact sub, that’s about where I draw the line. LVG was right in that they were in the game at 0-0 after 60 minutes but Spurs were always the more likely to score in that second half. And when they did they did so with fury.

The one thing you can always count on with Van Gaal’s United is that they do bounce back from bad results. It’s why he’s still there. So to see them play like that against West Ham in the FA Cup wasn’t too shocking, they had pace and purpose to what they were doing, finally. Okay, it only lasted about 20 minutes after half time but for once they made it count with a couple goals. Rashford’s was outstanding. The skill to keep that ball under control like that and then the finish, ah so good. And Anthony Martial should probably be their player of the year – his recent form on that left wing is getting badly slept upon.

Should United win out from here then Champions League footy is more than a possibility. They won’t do that, they never string them together like that, but at least hope remains. And having already beaten Everton twice this season they surely must be favourites for their first FA Cup since 2004.

There is nothing to say about Aston Villa. Aston Villa, on the other hand:

AVFC: “The club will not be holding its annual Player of the Year Awards at the conclusion of this season. In the current circumstances, we are sure our supporters will understand.”

Wildcard’s Pick: MUFC 2-0

West Bromwich Albion vs Watford

Sunday 2.00am

Wildcard’s Pick: 0-0

Everton vs Southampton

Sunday 2.00am

A tough game to split, I’m finding most Everton games that way because the fact of it is they’re a lower-mid table team and yet they have half a team’s worth of Champions League standard dudes. The fans are out there with placards demanding Roberto Martinez resigns but most people are too busy looking at Louis Van Gaal and Arsene Wenger. Quite messy, and for that reason they play a lot better away from home under less pressure. Don’t forget, they’re still Scousers over there.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1

Chelsea vs Manchester City

Sunday 4.30am

“I am the type of player for his philosophy and the way he likes his team to play so we are just going to see and on the first day of pre-season I will have a chat with him because I am going to be really hungry.”

That’s Samir Nasri talking tough about his worth to Pep Guardiola. Good fighting words those, especially after a fine performance against West Brom last week, though just to illustrate that words aren’t always worth the ink they’re printed with:

“'I watched the manager’s Holland team in the World Cup and from that I think I’m going to be his type of player.”

That was Tom Cleverley about a month before he was sent out by Louis Van Gaal on loan to Aston Villa. Just saying.

Speaking of transfers and stuff (abstractly), here’s Kevin De Bruyne returning to Stamford Bridge – which would mean more to him had he played there a few extra times. Still, his return to this City team has not coincidentally seen them get back to some stunning form. A couple big wins has resurrected their league season (now I sorta think if someone drops out of the four then it’ll be Arsenal) and then of course he bagged the winner against PSG. By the way, here’s what I said about that fixture last week:

“I mean, I keep saying this but why are we supposed to think PSG are so good? Coz they sweep up in France? Mate, Ligue 1 is not that good.”

Which is in line with my stance from the start that City would beat Paris Saint Germain. They’re just a better team, PSG have money but there’s nothing else about them that says they belong among the continent’s elite. They haven’t made it to the Champions League semis since . That is in no way elite. Here are teams that have made the semis since then:

Right, so back to the De Bruyne thing. Look at him slaying with City. Look at Romelu Lukaku doing so well at Everton. Ryan Bertrand at Southampton (who John Terry voted into his PFA Team of the Year noms). Juan Mata at MUFC, even. Going deeper, guys like Mohamed Salah and Juan Cuadrado were notorious bad fits but did they really get a chance? You can make a damn fine team of players sold by Chelsea since Mourinho last took over:

Petr Cech / Felipe Luis / Jeffrey Bruma / David Luiz / Ryan Bertrand / Juan Mata / Oriol Romeu / Josh McEachran / Kevin De Bruyne / Andre Schurrle / Romelu Lukaku

Decent team that, might even beat the real Chelsea (so long as Luiz is suspended, of course). McEachran was such a shame, he was a highly rated youngster – he reckons he rejected Real Madrid as a teen – but never got a chance and didn’t kick on. He’s at Brentford these days in the Championship. Only 23, there’s still time. If he needs inspiration he’s only gotta look at some of the other guys that CFC offloaded. There’s a very real chance that you can add Diego Costa and Eden Hazard to this XI in a few months too and if that comes to pass then Jose Mourinho again deserves a lot of blame. Most if not all of it actually. Look, he won them a title and that’s next to priceless but he also ravaged their squad for the next few years and there is plenty of clean-up work to be done. One of those ‘at what cost?’ arguments.

Felipe Luis is the guy I wanted to mention most. Did you see him against Barcelona for Atletico? He was a straight up 10 outta 10. One of the best defensive performances I’ve seen in years, that whole team was incredible. Diego Godin, Juanfran, friggin’ 20 year old Lucas Hernandez… man don’t forget Gabi in midfield either. That was a full on team performances with zero dragging heels, which is the only way to beat Barcelona really. City weren’t doing it, but they might beat Atletico. Great break for them.

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 to City

Leicester City vs West Ham United

Monday 12.30am

Highlights from Claudio Ranieri’s lovely Players’ Tribune article:

“Forty points. That was the goal. That was the total we needed to stay in the first division, to give our fans another season of Premier League football.”

“I am 64 years old, so I do not go out much. My wife has been with me for 40 years, so on my off days, I try to stay close to her. We go out to the lake by our house or maybe if we are feeling adventurous we watch a movie.”

“This player Kanté, he was running so hard that I thought he must have a pack full of batteries hidden in his shorts. He never stopped running in training.”

“I tell [Kante], ‘One day, I’m going to see you cross the ball, and then finish the cross with a header yourself.’”

“Jamie Vardy, for example. This is not a footballer. This is a fantastic horse.”

“Do the fans sing only when we have the ball? Oh, no, no, no. When we are under pressure, the fans understand our pain and they sing their hearts out. They understand the complexity of the game, and when the players are suffering. They are very, very close to us.”

“You have to work for everything. You work for your pizza, too. We will make our own.”

“What can I say? I’m an Italian man. I love my pizza and my pasta.”

“Now, we make a lot of clean sheets. A dozen clean sheets after the pizza, in fact. I think this is no coincidence.”

“What do you need to arrive? A big name? No. A big contract? No. You just need to keep an open mind, an open heart, a full battery, and run free.”

“Who knows, maybe at the end of the season, we will have two pizza parties.”

So much pizza. I wish I played for Leicester City, looks like a lot of fun. You don’t even have to be that good by the sounds of it, although a glance at the PFA Nominations suggests otherwise. Having said that, even after that fantastic horse got back in the scoring stakes with a beautiful double against Sunderland to take LCFC 10 points clear at the top… they aren’t exactly safe yet.

Leicester City’s Remaining Games:

• West Ham (H)
• Swansea (H)
• Man United (A)
• Everton (H)
• Chelsea (A)

Tottenham’s Remaining Games:

• Stoke (A)
• West Brom (H)
• Chelsea (A)
• Southampton (H)
• Newcastle (A)

The difference is seven points with five games to play each after Spurs did for Man Yoo with that little blitz the other day. That’s three victories for Leicester needed to seal things – and they might need to do exactly that because looking at those games, I mean Chelsea is a tough one but they’ll have nothing to play with, Spurs might not lose another game. They might win all five of those. Leicester also have Chelsea away and to be honest both teams actually suit playing the Blues quite well with plenty of pace on attack. But a trip to a desperate Old Trafford, hosting two notoriously good away teams in West Ham and Everton… that’s bloody tough. They’re still favourites because that is a massive seven point lead at this stage, but if they win from here the Foxes really will need to earn it.

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 Leicester City

Bournemouth vs Liverpool

Monday 12.30am

Can I just take a second to say how grateful I am to have this bloke in the Premier League now? Of course I can, it’s my column. I really am grateful though, he’s filled the void of best managerial interview that Jose Mourinho left behind except that with Mou it was always about vitriol and vengeance whereas Klopp never fails to laugh. What a guy.

Eddie Howe’s a champ as well. I know he’s well-funded by Russian dollars but what he’s done with this Bournemouth team is beyond impressive. Even just in this isolated season, imagine telling him before it started that he’d be 14 points clear of relegation with five games left.

Liverpool’s big game is on Friday morning. Depending on the result there against Dortmund (my bet is that they lose, sorry) the Reds could be vulnerable on the South Coast. Or not, what do I know?

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 Liverpool

Arsenal vs Crystal Palace

Monday 3.00am

Going back to 1980, Crystal Palace have played Arsenal 26 times. This is their record:

1 W / 7 D / 18 L

In case you think maybe that stat is skewed by how far back it reaches, just know that the Eagles have lost their last six against the Gunners and haven’t beaten then since 1994. Arsenal slipped up last week. I’m willing to be that streak doesn’t end on Monday (and if it does then win/win).

Wildcard’s Pick: Arsenal 1-0

Stoke City vs Tottenham Hotspur

Tuesday 7.00am

How about those PFA nominees, aye?

Jamie Vardy, Riyad Mahrez and N’Golo Kanté all got nods for Leicester City and to be honest Robert Huth and Danny Drinkwater are unlucky themselves not to make the final shortlist. Three guys out of six is more than decent though. Spurs only got one (Harry Kane) and they can be reasonably pissed at that. No Dele Alli or Toby Alderweireld? Very dumb, even if there are only a few spots. Especially if Spurs go on and win the title, showing how silly it is to have the votes all cast with more than a month of football remaining. The other two noms are Mesut Ozil and Dimitri Payet which is more than fair enough.

As for the Young Player of the Year list, it looks like Harry Kane may repeat his win from last season here. He’s up against Alli – getting his reps here – as well as Romelu Lukaku, Coutinho, Ross Barkley and Jack Butland. Maybe they should make that cut off a year lower, five of those six are well-established Premier Leaguers. Also, I may not be entirely impartial here but Anthony Martial is at least as deserving as Coutinho. Eh, next time.

Wildcard’s Pick: Spurs 2-0

Newcastle United vs Manchester City

Wednesday 6.45am

This time I really don’t have anything to say about Newcastle, except that Sergio Aguero bagged five last time he played them.

Wildcard’s Pick: 4-1 City