Seasons unfold in strange ways, especially one like the kiwi Premiership. A winter sport taking place over a summer season with a break around the holidays and an extended drag about two-thirds through so that the best couple teams can go play Champions League.

Few foresaw the magical efforts of Southern United, first with all their late goals and stolen results and then with their eventual fifth place finish. Everybody foresaw a tight Auckland City vs Team Wellington final but Danny Hay getting so much out of his Eastern Suburbs kids was impressive. Less said about Hamilton Wanderers the better… but shout out to a few of the Wellington Phoenix Reserves who may not have had the results but they did supply more than a couple A-Leaguers despite it all. We had Tasman United doing things on the back of the evergreen Paul Ifill, we had Waitakere United’s second-half capitulation, we had Hawke’s Bay defying the odds after losing half their squad and we had Canterbury United playing some great footy and taking it all the way to the semis.

And now we’ve got the inaugural Premmy Files Team of the Season. Three of them, in fact, because the more the local league is celebrated, the better. There are some fine players who had fine impacts on this thing and it seems weird to limit it to only eleven players. The teams have all been picked in a generic 4-3-3 formation, which suits the way a few of the top teams (who obviously supply the most players) preferred to shape up over the course of the campaign. Plus it’s flexible for squeezing in deserving folks, don’t take it too literally. It’s all about pats on the back and thumbs up, positive vibes only. Also there’s a preference towards players that lasted the full season (or at least most of it), hence no Ryan de Vries or Joel Stevens or a couple others.

No doubt there’ll be some contentious ones but until NZ Football do something about making these games more accessible, it’s kinda hard to make a definitive judgement. Seriously, when club teams are thoroughly outdoing national franchises in the online highlights department then there’s something going wrong.

Whatever. Here’s to the best and brightest in the Premiership for 2017-18.

FIRST XI

GK – Enaut Zubikarai (Auckland City)

Pretty hard to go past the keeper who played every minute for the champions while keeping 14 clean sheets in 20 games, including the final ten games in a row. Which itself includes the playoffs. There’s an argument that he doesn’t have to make that many saves because of how good that defence is and how much possession they keep but check out how good his distribution is before you take cause that too far. He’s a big reason why they dominate the ball so well.

RB – Aaron Spain (Canterbury United)

Such an under the radar player, a converted winger/striker who spent the season doing good things down the right for the Dragons. The PNG international was ever-present as the side from Canterbury cracked the final four, going undefeated in their final seven league games. Best way to put it is that if he were a kiwi then he’d have gotten extremely close to that last All Whites squad which featured several of these first-teamers.

CB – Tim Payne (Eastern Suburbs)

When your fellow players vote you the best of the bunch then you’re a lock for the Team of the Season. Payne’s no-nonsense displays at the back for Suburbs were massive. His leadership was even greater. On a team with a bunch of teenagers, 24 year old Payne gets to be a grizzled veteran and it was a role he thrived in, even earning a recall to the All Whites after a few years. His influence is pretty obvious when you look at the three games he missed: a 2-0 defeat vs HBU, a 2-1 defeat vs Canterbury (conceding two late goals) and the 4-0 semi-final loss to ACFC.

CB – Angel Berlanga (Auckland City)

Scott Hilliar ran this bloke extremely close but Auckland City’s superior defensive record got Angel the nod. Well, that and his immaculate presence throughout the season, only missing two games as the defence around him was in constant fluctuation. He played with Mario Bilen, with Te Atawhai Hudson-Wihongi (who woulda come close to these teams if he’d played a little more and in a more consistent position – right now he feels like a good bet for next season’s best), with Harry Edge… not to mention a variety of fullbacks… but the clean sheets never abated. Berlanga and Zubi were the constants. They’re also the first teamers, as is their due after keeping more clean sheets than goals conceded this season.

LB – Justin Gulley (Team Wellington)

Can’t ignore the Gullmeister for this one, even though he was more of a left-CB this term. No dramas, he was superb. Only missed one game and that was because he got called up off the waiting list for Fritz Schmid’s first All Whites squad, otherwise he was captain fantastic for the Tee Dubs. One of the many ex-Phoenix youngsters to thrive elsewhere in the NZ Prem (particularly at Team Wellington).

CM – Cam Howieson (Auckland City)

It’s hard to explain just how tough it is for a central midfielder to be as reliable as Howie has been. Until he got called up for the All Whites and missed the semi, he’d played every minute for ACFC, controlling the centre of the park with deceptive ease. Great on the ball and seemingly never out of position. He might have been the most dependable guy in the competition.

CM – Andre de Jong (Eastern Suburbs)

His season began with a hatty in a 3-1 win over Team Wellington and didn’t get much worse from there. Put frankly, ADJ was the best player in the comp. His 11 goals in 16 games (plus a few more created, no doubt) were utterly influential for Eastern Suburbs and their disappointing end to things, losing their last three including the semi vs City, not coincidentally aligned exactly with his leaving to re-join his Aussie club. Huge things on the cards for this dude. Cannot wait.

CM – Andy Bevin (Team Wellington)

Six New Zealanders have been drafted into the MLS in the last four years. People already know about Kip Colvey and Elliot Collier but Andy Bevin was the hipster draftee that started the trend back in 2015, the first NZer drafted since Andy Boyens in 2007. It didn’t work out in America but all goods because now he’s out there tearing it up for Team Wellington. Such a fun player to watch, full of energy and creativity, not averse to the odd stunning goal either. He chipped in with 7 of them this time out. Like ADJ he’s more of a number ten so this team’s pretty heavily skewed towards the attack but then so are all of these Team of the Season things.

RW – Emiliano Tade (Auckland City)

What, you thought anyone else had a chance? Tade was basically the first name on the list. His 16 goals during the regular season booked him a comfortable Golden Boot, an award he was running away with from the start with 10 goals in his first 7 games (he got two more in the semi as well). The Argentine isn’t always the most clinical finisher but, bloody hell, he scores some rippers. The most gifted attacking player in the league.

FW – Paul Ifill (Tasman United)

Yeah, boy. Saint Paul! Slightly sentimental, this one, but he did come second on the scoring charts with 12 goals in 15 games, three of those appearances coming off the bench. Naturally the fitness isn’t what it once was, however the silky touches, the cheeky turns and the emphatic finishes remain as they always have. Highlights were probably his two hat-tricks, one against Hamilton Wanderers in a thrilling 4-4 draw and the other against Hawke’s Bay as Tassie won 5-2. Happy retirement to one of the great footy imports this country has ever known.

LW – Tommy Semmy (Hamilton Wanderers)

The lone Tron Wand that’ll get recognised here, that’s what happens when you win one game all season. But Wanderers were often better than their record suggested, taking some brutal results along the way. Tommy Semmy, the Papua New Guinea international, wasn’t there for the first four games in which HW lost the lot by a combined 13 goals to 2 but he started the remaining 14 games, scoring 7 times. His pace was too much to handle, the one genuine threat that his team could rely on, and at times it was like he carried them singlehandedly. Gotta recognise the hustle.

SECOND XI

GK – Coey Turipa (Canterbury United)

Behind Zubi there’s a bit of empty space and then a whole cluster of keeper who you can make an argument for. Scott Basalaj is the one with the biggest case but Liam Little from Southern’s up there. Eastern Suburbs’ defence took an up-swing when Louie Caunter came in between the sticks. But Turipa gets it. Very good shot-stopper and a dependable voice at the back, he kept six clean sheets this season. In a league as stacked with goals and goal-scorers as this one, only Zubikarai had more.

RB – Roy Kayara (Team Wellington)

If you watched him play in the semi-final against Canterbury Utd then you know exactly what he’s doing here. From his crucial goal to his eye-catching long range passing, he was the difference between two well-matched teams. Only played 12 times so his eligibility might be a little dodgy but that’s a couple more than Jack-Henry Sinclair played, who might have challenged, while all the ACFC dudes got swapped in and out. Maybe Jordan Vale came close, or Ryan Cain who moved back to striker at the end of things and scored a bundle of goals… Kayara’s the man though. Love some Roy Kayara. 

CB – Scott Hilliar (Team Wellington)

Yeah, the bloke unluckiest not to make the first XI. Take nothing away from him, Hilliar was top notch from start to finish and was three players to start 20 Premiership games in 17-18. The other two being Zubi and McCowatt. Scotty’s tall and assured at the back, still only 23 and well worth a dig at a higher level. Not bad for his first season in the capital.

CB – Bill Robertson (Hawke’s Bay United)

A genuine stalwart right here. Didn’t lift the trophy like he did with Team Wellington last time, didn’t have many happy days at all with his home-town Hawke’s Bay, who won just five games all up and only three of their final 14. Would’ve been a lot worse without this champ at the back though. Robbie played every single game, he and Graham Craven forming an uncompromising CB pairing, and he was influential in pretty much every success they had in the Bay this term. Can’t help but feel that he’s Brett Angell’s ideal defender.

LB – Tristan Prattley (Eastern Suburbs)

The man with the concrete left boot… in a good way. Another one of the grizzled veterans of Eastern Suburbs, this guy’s practically ancient at 29 years old. Pratters did the business at left back. Not a bloke you want to risk running at and he’s not too shabby from the old set piece either, as we saw with his goal against Tasman (and he went close in the semi vs ACFC too).

CM – Albert Riera (Auckland City)

Are there necessary words? You already know what Alby does. Remarkably calm in possession, never out of position, a great passer and an absolute Rolls Royce. Cam Howieson stole some of his thunder but you never get a bad game from Alby.

CM – Gary Ogilvie (Canterbury United)

Mate, this guy. If you thought that Canty would struggle after Aaron Clapham withdrew from the squad early on then you clearly underestimated Gazza. Between himself, James Pendrigh and Cory Mitchell, the Dragons had a fine midfield trio well capable of getting it done. And after a slow start they did exactly that, taking it to the semis where Ogilvie, always the controlling presence there, could have been the hero with a late dig at goal from the edge of the area. It wasn’t to be but what a great shift from the Englishman this season. All class.

CM – Conor O’Keefe (Southern United)

How rude it’s been to overlook the mighty players of Southern United up until now… so here’s their captain. One of the significant Irish contingent at the club and a bugger who missed just one game. Trash though they might have been previously, Southern got the boat on course with a clever mix of returning stars, like O’Keefe, who raised their game in their second seasons and a solid chunk of local talent, looking at fellas such as (by the club’s own disclosure) Jared Grove, Tom Connor, Liam Little and Tim McLennan. There’s the blueprint, Hamilton.

RW – Garbhan Coughlan (Southern United)

Among the many great storylines across a wonderful season, right up there was Garbhan Coughlan’s hat-trick on St Patrick’s Day (the headlines write themselves!) which booked fifth place for Southern United, leaping halfway up the table from last time’s struggles. The stuff of legend from Coughlan… except he’s been banging them away the whole way. He was Southern’s top scorer with 8 despite a couple injuries along the way. Should probably share this spot with his mate Danny Furlong too.

FW – Stephen Hoyle (Canterbury United)

Few strikers were more reliable than Hoyle. His physical presence up top for Canterbury was essential to the way they played, so much so that it took half the season before they were able to get a point in a game in which he didn’t score. The goals dried up down the stretch with only 2 in his final nine games however his final tally of 9 strikes had him fourth on the list. Superb finisher, as we saw with that bicycle kick early on, and also a talented target man. Bit like a smaller Chris Wood. Ooh and he’s a citizen of Aotearoa now, just quietly…

LW – Callum McCowatt (Auckland City)

Of course it’s Callum McCowatt. The hero of the grand final, the teenaged superstar in the making. Didn’t miss a game all season despite having only been playing National Youth League a year ago (not so shocking for an 18 year old, to be fair). Technically gifted and with a refreshingly positive attitude towards the game, the only thing keeping him out of the top XI was some sloppy finishing and a few rookie errors here and there. Still scored 9 goals in 20 games, including in both the semi and the final, and several of those were match-winning strikes… but he could’ve had several more. Oh well, so it goes. This was the season of Callum McCowatt and make sure you remember that when his career’s taking off overseas.

THIRD XI

GK – Scott Basalaj (Team Wellington)

Third teamers don’t get such big blurbs but they still deserve a shout out. So shout out to Big Bad Basalaj for another quality campaign. People don’t even notice keepers like this guy sometimes, he’s so consistent in his job, but you damn sure notice when you ain’t got one.

RB – Jordan Vale (Eastern Suburbs)

Vale was a regular presence for the ‘Burbs… just not in a regular position. Tried on the wing, in a diamond midfield and at right back as well as that unfortunate CB spell in the semi when he gave away a spottie in a 4-0 defeat. Forget that one and focus on a guy who’s so reliable and well-rounded that his manager will play him pretty much anywhere. It’s only appropriate that he squeezes in here at right back then.

CB – Francis de Vries (Canterbury United)

Popping back to Aotearoa after his contract with the Vancouver Whitecaps reserves (who don’t even exist anymore) ran out, FDV immediately settled into the Dragons backline and brought some silkiness to proceedings. Won one of four without him, won nine of 15 with him. Good signing, that.

CB – Kristian Gibson (Southern United)

Could easily be his CB partner Stephen Last, but let’s go with the newest Irishman in town who played a large part in the turnaround down south. Plus Gibby played a couple more games. Southern only had three clean sheets all season but they also only once conceded more than two, their defence keeping them in plenty of games for their strikers to bring the goods late on.

LB – Sean Liddicoat (Canterbury United)

Another member of the most consistent backline in the league. Apologies to Tom Schwarz for leaving him out. Before the season it was Andreas Wilson who represented the team at the season opening and yet Liddicoat, the 20 year old, ended up keeping him out of the team.

CM – Jake Butler (Waitakere United)

If there’s one bloke who will never let you down then it’s Jake. A dogged midfielder and a league legend, he was one of a handful of Waitak players who escape unscathed after their horrific run of six defeats in their last seven that cost them a shot at the semis and plummeted them down to seventh in the end. Bit of credit to Ryan Cain, Tom Shaw and Julyan Collett as well.

CM – Birhanu Taye (Hawke’s Bay United)

Taye’s had a funky old career so far, one which has taken him to Portugal to Czech Republic to Slovakia and back to Aotearoa… and he’s only turned 23 a couple months back. Really tidy midfielder who ended up having to play central defence in the last few games. Quick mention for his midfield mate Alex Palezevic here as well.

CM – Mario Barcia (Team Wellington)

But also Mario Ilic, Team Wellington. Because you can’t have one Mario without the other. Between them they were the engine room for the Tee Dubs, the crucial link between the back three and the front three, tasked with keeping that ball from getting dust on it. An excellent job they did of it too.

RW – Derek Tieku (Eastern Suburbs)

The one non-New Zealander in the Suburbs team. Scored 7 goals. Get him in there.

FW – Keegan Linderboom (Waitakere United)

Another Waitak. Lindy went off to play in Asia before the season was out yet scored 7 times in 15 games prior to that. His best spell came with goals in consecutive wins against Team Welly (2-1), HBU (3-1) and Hamilton (4-2) but was another striker who couldn’t keep up the pace after the holiday break.

LW – Sarpreet Singh (Wellington Phoenix)

Fair few candidates for this last one. Micah Lea’alafa was top shelf over the back half of the season, while Ryan de Vries was heroic in the first half, both for City. Futa Nakamura was influential in many Dragons attacks. Gotta love some Callan Elliot for Tassie and let’s not forget Ross Allen’s brief but memorable spell with Team Welly. But there hasn’t been a Welly Nix kid in here yet (mostly for good reason) so how about Sarpreet? Didn’t play much which isn’t great for the credibility of this team selection yet when he did play he was a step above. Several supreme goals, foreshadowing what he’d do with the A-League side later on. 4 goals in 8 games is a small sample size however he was also the only Wee Nix player who genuinely looked like he belonged higher up (although Libby Cacace, Liam Wood, James McGarry, Willem Ebbinge and Logan Rogerson all had their moments).

Support your mates at The Niche Cache by smashing an ad

Or you can pop over to Patreon and make a pledge