This one had a little bit of all those things that supposedly define the big matches. We had injury heartbreak with Mo Salah and Dani Carvajal. We had injury redemption with Gareth Bale. We had a stunning goal and a couple stunning mistakes. We had missed opportunities and disappointment, mirrored by a handful of triumphant moments that led to ultimate success. We even had a little deviousness buried in there too.

Loris Karius is getting all the headlines and it’s hard to remember a bugger who’s had a worse game in such a major final. Ronaldo wasn’t great in the 1998 World Cup Final but he was sick. John Terry famously scooped a penalty that cost Chelsea the Champions League in a shootout. Thierry Henry had a couple bad finals in his career. ZiZou himself had a particularly memorable meltdown that one time, as you may recall.

But then all of those dudes were outstanding players who did so much to get their teams into those positions in the first place. Whereas Loris Karius, who rolled the ball into Karim Benzema’s feet for the first goal and then parried the third into his own net, was already a weakness in this team. He beat out Simon Mignolet to start. That’s not exactly one of those ‘good problems to have’ for old mate Kloppy. Karius was never a keeper that inspired much confidence.

So for Karius to have a shocker like that, it just goes to show that this Liverpool team still has a way to go. And it’s not only that position either. Their entire backline was massively suspect before this season started (their best defender, Nathaniel Clyne, was injured and didn’t play at all until April). It’s a huge compliment to what Klopp’s building there that the three goals they conceded came from two goalkeeping howlers and an all-timer of an overhead kick, that goes to show just how great Trent Alexander-Arnold and Andy Robertson have been on the flanks and what an impact Virgil van Dijk has made since arriving – plus Dejan Lovren’s improvements now that he’s got a dominant defender next to him – but yeah… all that and there’s still an entire midfield to worry about. And their shallow bench.

It’s the front three that’s been carrying them with an overwhelming quantity of goals and pressure, Jurgen Klopp’s heavy metal football in action. But they need that trio to be dominating for them to do well and this game was never the same after Mohamed Salah went off injured. The depth isn’t there. Adam Lallana came on and did nothing, looking every bit of a player who’s been out injured most of the season. Sadio Mane was excellent but he couldn’t do it all himself and Roberto Firmino was well guarded by the Madrid defence. Their Plan A is too intense for there to be a Plan B. Salah’s injury was the tipping point.

Which is why you can’t blame Karius too much. His mistakes cost the Reds a chance but Real Madrid were already well on top, pretty much from the moment that Salah was injured. Up until then it’d been Liverpool that looked more up for it, as you’d expect from a team that likes to strike hard and strike early, however without Salah they lost their outlet. The Madrid midfield surged into the game and Rafael Varane and Sergio Ramos were able to edge further and further forward, constricting things for Liverpool. That opening goal was coming for a long time, one way or another.

As to how Lil Mo got injured… mate. You didn’t need to watch this game to know that Sergio Ramos is a dirty player. It’s been his reputation for years. Remember last year’s UCL Final when he shamelessly milked one to get Juan Cuadrado sent off? He’s a cynical, aggressive, manipulative, scheming little bastard who has a tendency to target the star player on the opposition team…

… and you can’t honestly believe that he didn’t know what he was doing when he hooked his arm around Mo Salah. Did Salah initiate the contact? Possibly… but that’s like Medusa saying ‘but he looked at me first!’ Salah was an innocent in the house of depravity. Whatever he did wasn’t the same as grabbing that arm, giving it a twist, and then throwing him dangerously to the ground. That was some outrageously scandalous stuff from Ramos. (Who I’m legally inclined to add is also a world class defender and a magnificent leader, for all his sins).

Having said that, there’s no way he was deliberately trying to injure him. He was just showing him who’s boss, trying to intimidate a dangerous player like defenders such as Ramos always do. It was reckless, for sure. He dragged Salah down in a way that didn’t allow him to brace himself. But he wasn’t trying to bust his collarbone or whatever. Not even Sergio Ramos is that heartless.

But don’t completely let him off the hook or anything…

Gareth Bale, amigos. He’s been treated like trash by Real Madrid for so long, it’s crazy, yet here he was with two more goals in a UCL Final as if Zinedine Zidane hadn’t just benched him despite scoring five goals in his last five games, despite him bringing the goods for the last few months. Bale gets picked on because he steps on Ronaldo’s toes, let’s be honest. And after winning four of these suckers in five years it sounds like he might finally be leaning towards a transfer to a team that’ll let him play some football. Which… if that’s Manchester United then he might wanna be careful about what he’s getting into there given that flowing attacking footy hasn’t been seen at Old Trafford since Fergie retired. But it’s either United or PSG, who else can afford him right now? Bayern Munich if he’s lucky.

Ah but save those worries for a later date because first we’ve got to savour one of the great moments in Champions League history… how good was this!?

The audacity to even attempt it was beyond most players, let alone somehow depositing it in the top of the net as he did. Words cannot do it justice. Shame it was so similar to that goal Ronaldo scored against Juventus recently… if anything’s gonna get him sold then that’s it. Stealing Ronaldo’s thunder? How could he!

Ronaldo didn’t take long to give him a dose of his own medicine though, creating a little speculation about his own future for no apparent reason other than that nobody was talking about him. Ah well, gotta love him. Ronaldo can be a petty and vain individual but, like Ramos, he’s a wonderful and necessary character in our game. If only the joker didn’t keep winning every damn thing. Give someone else a turn, Ron.

And now a word on the managers. Only in Real Madrid can your job depend on you winning the Champions League for a third consecutive season. Presumably Zidane gets to mercifully remain as gaffer now that he’s gone and won more European Cups than some of the finest managers of all time within the space of his first three years of management. Expect him to be sacked if he loses in the semis next time.

Meanwhile Jurgen Klopp has lost yet another major final but if you’re holding that against him then you’re missing the bigger picture. Liverpool were third in England this season yet second in Europe. There are probably a dozen clubs, at least half a dozen, who have objectively better squads than Liverpool but a combination of Klopp’s infectious belief and hyperactive tactics keeps getting his team up and into these big games.

He hasn’t won a cup final since the DfB Pokal with Dortmund back in 2011-12, that’s six straight final defeats. But are you really going to blame him for losing to Real Madrid in the Champions League Final? Or Manchester City in the League Cup Final or Bayern Munich in the Champions League Final or Bayern Munich in another German Cup? Maybe he shoulda beaten Wolfsburg in the 2014-15 German Cup although Wolfsburg finished 23 points ahead of Dortmund in the Bundesliga that season so then again maybe not. And Sevilla’s Europe League win was their third in a row so there was no doubt which of those two teams were the better equipped for the big stage. (By the way, Unai Emery and Jurgen Klopp will get a little more acquainted next season, cannot wait).

Real Madrid exist perennially at the peak of the game and there’s a World Cup coming up which means a 100% guarantee that they spend twenty millions pounds too much on the breakout star of that tournament as a statement buy. This time, for the first time, it seems like Gareth Bale might genuinely be on the transfer market. But Real Madrid will find a way to stay at the top one way or another, they’re sneaky like that.

As for Liverpool, the jury’s out on Naby Keita and a new goalie is surely on the way (plus some impressive youngsters on the brink of stepping it up, think Dominic Solanke, Ben Woodburn and Joe Gomez for starters). They just made the Champions League Final and there’s still a handful of obvious areas where they can improve. That’s something to be extremely positive/worried about, depending on your particular affiliations.

And as for Loris Karius? Well, he was bad… but he still wasn’t Juan Seba Veron at the 2002 World Cup bad…

Chuck something our way on Patreon if you’re one of those Niche Cache Day Ones. We take care of our Patrons, don’t you worry about it.