Chris Wood – Burnley FC (English Premier League)

Maybe it was the double negative thing. Burnley are usually pretty awful whenever they play against traditional top six teams and they’re also pretty much whenever they play without the Wood/Barnes combination. But with Barnesy out indefinitely with a hernia and a trip to Manchester United in the midweek on the cards those two things didn’t seem to matter much as the Clarets grabbed a famous 2-0 victory... their first win at Old Trafford since 1962.

Chris Wood scored the first goal and then set up the second. A heroic performance, one might even say. His goal came against the run of play but wasn’t completely out of the blue, Burnley’s defence had done excellently in withstanding a lot of United pressure and one or two lucky moments caused by bad finishing or close calls were surrounded by otherwise flawless strength and composure from Ben Mee and James Tarkowski at the back.

Then, suddenly, they had a free kick just inside the United half. It’s pumped long into the box. Ben Mee got up and won the header, destroying Nemanja Matic in the process, and the ball flicked on into a little pocket of space. The Woodsman was on it in a flash. He whipped that left leg around to guide it past David De Gea on the half-volley, a wonderful little finish, and then peeled off in a celebration capped by a sublime knee slide. One of those knee slides you’ll tell ya grandkids about, he almost looked like he was gaining speed. The goal at Old Trafford is probably worth a mention or two as well, to be fair.

That’s a milestone goal for Chris Wood. It’s his 10th league goal of the season which means he has now scored in double figures in each of his three seasons for Burnley and he’s got plenty of time to set a personal best now (after 10 in each of the last two terms).

Then Jay Rodriguez, after a little give and go with The Woodsman, absolutely crunched one into the top corner, beating DDG for pace when he had about a postage stamp sized space to shoot into, and 56 minutes into the game Burnley were 2-0 up.

The rest of the game took care of itself. Chris Wood was basically only there to defend as Burnley sat deeper and deeper and frustrated a Man United team that without Marcus Rashford or Paul Pogba really didn’t have much creativity to lean on. Burnley saw it through for the 2-0 win, their third in in four league games and Chris Wood has scored in each of them. Still sporting that cheeky black eye too. No dramas. The final whistle was met by passionate cheers and fist pumps from the Burnley players... with Chris Wood even copping a stray one in his broken nose during the celebrations.

Chris Wood: “They defended resolutely and were absolutely fantastic, so all credit to the defence. They won us the game in the end. We’ve not been able to see it out in previous years but last night we defended extremely well. We come here with belief. We have done it the last years. We have come here and put in good performances and just not quite seen it out. We knew we can score goals here and work hard and it was all about defending resolutely and we did that. I think that was the difference from past years and it was nice for the fans to get that win for the first time in 50-odd years. It’s been a long time coming for this club and we’re thankful to get it over the line, finally.”

Now... we can probably breeze over what happened a few days later in the FA Cup. At home against Norwich, Sean Dyche did pick a relatively strong team which included Chris Wood up front but they almost conceded within seconds of the kickoff and perhaps that was a sign that the cup stuff wasn’t really a priority for the Clarets as they seek to avoid relegation (whereas Norwich have probably accepted that relegation is likely and are happy to go on a cup run for the sake of it).

Still, Burnley had their chances. Chris Wood nudged a defender off the ball in the first half and dished one across to Jay Rodriguez but his shot was straight at the keeper from a great position. At the other end, James Tarkowski made an incredible goal-line clearance with his chest to keep it even. It stayed that way until Grant Hanley headed in from a free kick in the 53rd minute and then four minutes after that one Josip Drmic made it 2-0 to the visitors. It wasn’t too much later that Wood was replaced and although Erik Pieters did score one to make up for playing everybody onside for the second goal Burnley couldn’t force a replay (which might be in their best interests) and would lose it 2-1.

For those of you with other interests...

Up Next: Monday at 3am at home against Arsenal (NZT)

Ryan Thomas – PSV Eindhoven (Dutch Eredivisie)

Things are... not great for PSV. On Friday they were knocked out of the KNVB Cup and on Monday they could only draw at home to FC Twente, all the while one of their top attackers is plotting his way out of the club, they’re working with an interim manager, and are sitting all the way down in fifth place 11 points behind league leaders Ajax... whom they face next week.

Thommo only played 45 minutes of those two games. He started against NAC Breda in the cup, playing in the number ten role where he got himself involved nice and early and often but was probably a little out of position. He’s better in a deeper role like he played the previous week for PSV... but he’s gotta work his way in wherever he can get in after such a long time out of the team. Hence it was disappointing but not surprising when he was replaced at the break for a more natural forward player: Sam Lammers, who himself was making a long awaited return from injury. It didn’t work though. PSV were sitting at 0-0 at the half when Thommo came off and would go on to lose 2-0 without him. Goals for Othman Boussaid in the 54th minute and Ivan Ilic in the 73rd.

Then they drew 1-1 with FC Twente in a game in which Thommo was an unused sub. PSV did lead 1-0 midway through the second half thanks to Denzel Dumfries as he followed up a parried shot from distance but then things took a turn when Ibrahim Afellay went in strong to a challenge in the 75th min and earned himself a second yellow and an early shower. Afellay was making his first Eredivisie start since 2010 and playing exactly where Thommo would prefer to be in the midfield, so with his suspension for next week against Ajax that would appear to open the door for Thomas there. Even down to ten men (and certainly before that) PSV still had multiple chances to extend that lead which they failed to take... and then in the 87th minute Haris Vuckic popped one into the top corner and it ended 1-1. Another mud result for them. It’s been a rough season.

Made worse by this Steven Bergwijn thing, where the PSV winger is close to a move to Tottenham and apparently refused to play for PSV this weekend as the transfer neared. He denied that, though it does seem true that he had a conversation with interim gaffer Ernest Faber who was happy not to pick a player not fully committed. Things got worse as Bergwijn then apparently travelled to London to negotiate personal terms before a free had been agreed between the clubs. That fee seems to be a formality however. This transfer is almost certainly happening and PSV will lose another key attacking option. Thommo might wanna learn how to play centre forward, then he’d play every game.

Up Next: Monday at 4.45am away to Ajax (NZT)

Annalie Longo – Melbourne Victory (Australian W-League)

Rebekah Stott and Melbourne City had the bye this week which mean one free spot in the team of the week and a chance for everybody else to catch up three points on the leaders... including Melbourne Victory who were up against Canberra United.

And it was a thorough performance. Carrying on from their 3-0 win over Adelaide last time, the Victory did the same here to Canberra, coming out strong and taking the lead after half an hour as Darain Jenkins skipped around the right hand wing and fed Melina Ayres for a sitter. 20 year old Ayres then had a double eight minutes later, this time Natasha Dowie with the assist honours. Annalie Longo played a nice role in keeping the play alive for that second goal too. Dowie would then eventually add a third and that was that for MVC.

Longo played 71 minutes here in another cool and calm performance in the midfield before Grace Maher came on to give her a breather. It might have been even more glittery for the Footy Fern had Dowie finished after Longo fed her through in the second half or had Longo herself done better with an early free kick which was kinda ballooned... but no dramas, they got the result they needed and consolidate that fourth place with a week off now before the Melbourne Derby.

Up Next: Melbourne Victory vs Melbourne City, 9.30pm on 13 February (NZT)

Kyle Adams – Houston Dynamo (American Major League Soccer)

Beautiful. Another kiwi making the leap from USL to MLS, joining James Musa in that company in the very same month. Kyle Adams has spent the last two seasons holding it down at centre back for Rio Grande Valley, even captaining them during 2019. The 23 year old played 52 games for RGV across two seasons was consistently one of their better performers. As a feeder club to the Houston Dynamo, he’d three times been promoted to sit on the bench for the Dynamo during cup competitions, though didn’t make a debut on those occasions, so the next logical step in his progression was to get a full time deal with the MLS team and push on from there. Now that’s happened.

Dynamo Senior VP & GM Matt Jordan: “Kyle has performed well over the course of the last two seasons with our USL team, RGV FC, to earn this opportunity with the Dynamo First Team. We like that he is a naturally left-footed young center back who will have the opportunity to learn from our veteran defenders and coaching staff as he continues to develop and grow.”

It is a big squad that they Dynamo have so plenty of competition for places but Adams does have a very handy green card in his possession too (having been in the States since uni) which means he won’t count as an international player on the roster. This contract is great reward for his efforts over the last two years for an RGV Toros team that had a lot more bad days than good ones in terms of results. Now it’s knuckle down time for preseason.

Up Next: Earn that spot

Michael Boxall, James Musa & Noah Billingsley – Minnesota United (American Major League Soccer)

Twin Cities: “Minnesota United heard the scouting reports on Noah Billingsley coming out of University of California-Santa Barbara. “When we got told that he was the fittest player that had ever been through (UCSB), it sort of raised a few eyebrows,” United coach Adrian Heath said. Then Billingsley, the Loons’ first-round pick in the 2020 MLS SuperDraft, backed that up when he broke the club’s fitness test records on Tuesday. “In terms of his athleticism, I think he’s going to have no problem on that front,” Heath said.”

So that’s all going well then. Breaking fitness test records as a rookie coming into the team. He’s also been given the prime real estate of shirt number 2, which is just what we wanna see. NB’s winning a lot of fans already.

As for Michael Boxall...

Dunno, that throw was right on target. Decent spiral on it. The action was a little wonky but it got where it needed to go. At least he didn’t lose the ball in the rafters like jerry here, although he did manage to rescue it. He also achieved another important feat this week... getting his green card, which means he won’t count as an international player any more, allowing them to put that spot to use elsewhere (like getting a striker).

MNUFC: “Minnesota United announced today defender Michael Boxall has received his U.S. Green Card. The New Zealand international will no longer occupy an international spot on the Loons’ roster. Boxall, 31, joined MNUFC in July of the Loons’ inaugural MLS season in 2017 and has been a mainstay in the Minnesota backline since then. In his three seasons with the team, he has the second-most appearances for the Loons since they joined MLS. Boxall has scored all four of his MLS goals with MNUFC, his last coming in the final home game of the 2019 season to tie Supporters’ Shield winners LAFC.”

Up Next: Proper football, you’d assume... they’re currently in a training camp in Florid

Winston Reid – West Ham United (English Premier League)

Winston Reid: “I think you know, in terms of yourself, I think you know when you get to a point when you’re not just going to go straight in… More than anything else, it’s about getting back into a rhythm again, getting back into a rhythm of training, and doing all this, and playing and whatever. That’s probably the toughest thing, because there’s being back fit and available, and then there is getting back into a rhythm. It’s fine now, the injury’s healed now, there’s no issues with it – so now it’s about finding out where I am at on the pitch. As a team, we have been in this situation a few times. I understand that it’s not about panicking. The players have to support each other, whichever player plays, and then it’s just about being there.”

We don’t get to hear a lot from Winnie, he’s a quiet type even at the best of times but here he was on the front page of West Ham’s match programme for the FA Cup clash with West Bromwhich Albion, which seemed like a perfect opportunity for Winston to get his first proper minutes out there in the claret jersey since his injury nearly two years ago. But then of course come time for the team naming and he wasn’t even in the squad.

Well, joke was on them. Up against ex-WHU gaffer Slaven Bilic (who did make several changes to his team even if David Moyes went as full strength as he could muster), the Hammers lost 1-0 to an early Conor Townsend goal. WBA are one of the favourites for promotion from the Championship, while West Ham are still in a relegation scrap so no mugs whatsoever. It was always gonna be a close one. Yet West Brom were able to hold on to that lead despite finishing the game with 10 men. Moyes made all three of his subs at half-time and said he would have made more if he could have.

All this is going on as Winston Reid has been increasingly linked with a move away from West Ham. Word is that he’s turned down a loan offer to Charlton while at least two MLS clubs are interested in his services depending on whether or not he’s about that Stateside life right now. Considering how mud West Ham were against WBA, he might have edged even closer to a return simply by avoiding the tarring-and-feathering there, although the rumours do persist...

Up Next: Thursday at 8.45am vs Liverpool (NZT)

Olivia Chance – Bristol City (English Super League)

FA Cup weekend means different things for different clubs and players, for Spurs it was an opportunity to rest a couple players including Ria Percival and still run out to a 5-0 win over Barnsley to make the next round. For Bristol City it was a chance to give debuts to three new signings... as well as yet another start for Liv Chance.

They were up against Durham and this one was a grueller. Chance had a couple moments but in drenched conditions this was a game where nothing came clean and opportunities to score were slim pickings. The Robins did start to assert themselves towards the end of the ninety minutes after subbing on Ebony Salmon and Katie Robinson but even against a lower league opposition this one was destined for extra time.

Luckily in extras they found a way. Robinson managed to avoid a couple defenders on her way and thumped in the eventual winner in the 103rd minute, allowing her team to close it out from there. A battling contest. 120 minutes for Olivia Chance in amongst it. But a win which put the club through to the fifth round where they’ll face... Everton. Chancey’s old club who she signed from. That’ll be a bit of fun. Ria Percival’s Spurs drew Coventry United away.

Up Next: Tottenham vs Bristol City, 3am on Monday (NZT)

Katie Rood - Lewes FC (English Championship)

It was worth getting hyped for too, as Katie Rood managed to join the other two kiwi women in the comp in the fifth round of the FA Cup... although it wasn’t simple. Against Billericay Town, Lewes should have probably been a little more comfortable in victory but cup footy doesn’t tend to work like that. Roodie had a couple early chances, once getting through on the keeper only to have her finish saved and later on in setting one up for teammate Jess King but a defender stepped in to intervene. Meanwhile it ain’t like the visitors weren’t creating a few things of their own either, particularly from set pieces.

And so it remained goalless at the break and it remained goalless after Rood dribbled past four defenders in one run only to shoot narrowly wide of the post in the 56th minute. Substitute and new signing Paula Howells eventually did give Lewes the lead in the 66th minute with a fine strike from the edge of the area but then Billericay took advantage of some average defending to make it 1-1 in the 78th min with Therese Addison’s goal and we were soon enough off to extras. Where Rood had another crack which was saved and eventually it’d have to come down to penalties where a single miss, off the inside of the post, for Billericay proved defining. Roodie knocked her attempt home for Lewes’ fourth and they’d go on to win it 5-4 on spotties, here’s all the drama of that one...

Hey and check out who they play in the next round... it’s only Arsenal, that’s who. Away from home. Eh, Roodie’s already scored against Chelsea this season in a cup comp, might as well add the Gunners to the list.

Up Next: Monday at 3am away to Leicester (NZT)

Matt Garbett – Falkenbergs FF (Swedish Allsvenskan)

There always seem to be a lot of kiwis playing in Sweden, all over Scandinavia really, but most of them are in the lower leagues. Not so for Matty Garbett as the 17 year old forward (he turns 18 in April) has signed his first professional contract with Swedish top flight side Falkenberg. The Ole Academy lad was a part of the most recent U17 World Cup squad (scoring in two games), a striker who can also play deeper, and has signed a three year deal with FFF.

Matty G: “I can't wait to get started with the team and meet the players and the leaders. I have heard a lot about the club's traditions and history, so I am excited to come to FFF and start training with the club.”

Garbett ain’t the first NZer to feature for FFF either. Back in the day this was one of Dan Keat’s homes and he very famously once scored the goal that saved them from relegation on the final day of the season. Dan Keat is another guy who came through the Ole Academy and former FFF forward Zlatan Krizanovic works for Ole now too apparently so no guesses as to how this all got set up. Garbett also has a French passport through his mother so the European life should come naturally and it sounds like he’s been doing the trial rounds to make sure he found the ideal launching spot for his professional career.

More Matty G: “I was born in London and then moved to France. I arrived in New Zealand as a five year old. I have visited France and other countries in Europe several times, so this is no surprise to me. I trained a few times with Torslanda. I was in ÖIS for a while and then I was at a club in Denmark and one in Switzerland. I felt that Swedish football is physical but very traditional. I feel ready now. The fact that I have been involved in senior football since I was 14 has helped me a lot”

Håkan Nilsson, FFF sporting manager: “We are very pleased to have signed a contract with one of New Zealand's most promising football players. It is thanks to Dan Keat and his good relationship with us that we managed to contract Matthew. It will be very exciting to follow his development in Falkenbergs FF.”

Up Next: First official games are the Swedish Cup group stages in late February

Cameron Hogg - Umeå FC (Swedish Superettan)

But wait there’s more! Goalkeeper Cameron Hogg has also joined the party, signing a one year deal to join Umeå FC in the Swedish second tier. Hogg had previously been playing at Nyköping BIS during the 2019 season... which is actually the club that Francis De Vries played for in 2018 but he left for Värnamo last year where he played 29 times, scoring twice. Värnamo also being the club that Tyler Lissette used to play for – they were teammates in 2019 but it sounds like Lissette has headed back to Aotearoa if whispers are to be believed. That was all in the third tier but Umeå FC represents a leap in divisions for Cam Hogg.

Hoggy: “I feel excited to sign with a club like Umeå FC. It's this kind of opportunity all players work hard for. It is a combination of having a fantastic leadership team [to work with], a chance for me to be challenged at a higher level and a longing to show me even more in Swedish football.”

There’s a pretty clear line of reasoning here too, as American manager Brian Clarhaut was the boss at Nyköping last year and this year has been hired by Umeå. In fact he’s already brought along two other players from the Nykos in Enis Ahmetovic and Jakob Bergman so Hoggy already has a few friends at the club.

Up Next: Preseason club friendlies begin next week

Support the hustle by getting in on the TNC Patreon action, eternal thanks in advance

Also slap one of them ads to say cheers for the words