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Australia and New Zealand 2023... We Got The Bloody World Cup, How Good!?

Got ‘em, yes, get in! The FIFA World Cup is coming to Aotearoa (and Australia) in 2023 with the most prestigious and highest standard tournament in women’s football on it’s way Down Under. There were some frisky moments towards the end there as FIFA shenanigans emerged once again emerged as a potential deciding factor but as the votes were cast at the FIFA council overnight it was a relatively comfortable 22-13 vote victory for the As One campaign.

All things being normal and fair, the Aussie/Aotearoa bid woulda cruised no dramas. If you’d brought it up a week ago I’d have said lock it in, no worries whatsoever. As soon as Japan dropped out of the running there was little doubt left as to which was the strongest bid. Aussie/NZ scored a 4.3 out of 5 on the FIFA technical evaluation compared to Colombia with a cheeky 2.8 so it wasn’t even up for debate really. But that’s not how FIFA tends to work.

Japan dropping out, as the third to last bid remaining, was a necessary boost to our own bid. They’d scored a 4.1 on the scale but the worry with them was that they weren’t fully committed to the task. It was more like catching a wave that was already breaking from Japan hosting the Olympics and with the Aus/NZ bid edging it slightly on the FIFA reports that required Japan to take the hit and fully support the Down Under bid – which they did – solidifying the votes from the Asian confederation just as Brazil had done for Colombia when they withdrew their own bid a few weeks before that. Thus taking away the risk of splitting the vote and letting Colombia sneak up with the full strength of the South American confederation behind them. They still had that force, understandably, coming into voting day but what really swung things into shenanigans territory was when UEFA decided as a block to vote for Colombia too.

What exactly triggered them to support what the world’s governing body, in a report ratified by independent authorities, had determined was a clearly inferior vote? Still not entirely convinced on that one to be honest, mate. The Guardian had a bit about that in which they reported that the UEFA delegates met and at least two of their nine voters expressed derision of the technical reports while arguing that the Women’s World Cup is a “development tournament” which would have more benefit to the sport in South America.

First of all: yuck. Second of all: South America is intensely football crazy but it’s overwhelmingly skewed towards the fellas whereas both Australia and New Zealand have comparatively stronger women’s national teams than men’s ones which you’d have thought makes it a much better reflection of the growth of the female side of things (which beneath the ugly language you’d assume is what those UEFA jokers meant – that it’s a competition which is yet to unlock its full potential... or maybe I’m being too generous to them, yeah probably).

Something slightly funky about that is the role of English FA boss Greg Clarke who seemed to be a bit of a swing voter within that UEFA crew. Clarkey’s up for re-election next year as a UEFA delegate and it’s a poorly kept secret, not even a secret really, that England want to host the 2030 Men’s World Cup and in order to have a successful bid it’ll require the support of the rest of UEFA and voting against them like this might have been damaging. It’s possible that nursing the South American folks is a factor too for their ongoing support down the line. I cannot confirm the rumours that I’m just now inventing in my own imagination about UEFA folks walking out of the vote with a different coloured suitcase to the ones they walked in with but, hey, FIFA is still FIFA. Just because Gianni Infantino made a big point about the transparency of the vote, because he’s not as much of an old school mafia don like Sepp Blatter was, doesn’t mean that FIFA ain’t still madly corrupt. It’s just a different type of corruption. That modern brand-heavy, PR-focussed, corporate corruption that you see from the likes of Am*zon and F*c*book.

Also how’s this for a sneaky guilty microaggression...

What a sad guy. UEFA have since put out a statement explaining their voting logic and it fell pretty much in line with something Infantino himself has spoken about which is the potential for the women’s game in South America if they can only tap into it. A noble enough idea, but the pinnacle tournament in the sport does sorta deserve a bigger priority than that. And why isn’t nurturing Australia and New Zealand, who have never hosted a FIFA tournament of this scale either, considered a positive development for the game? Whatever.

Sure enough, UEFA voted unanimously for Colombia as did South America for 13 combined votes. And Asia and Oceania cast their nine votes to Australia and New Zealand. That was all as expected, we might have gotten a rogue European or two but that wasn’t to be. Of a total 35 eligible votes, that meant a majority was possible with 18 votes and with only two remaining hosting bids that consensus was going to happen on the first ballot one way or the other. Gianni Infantino was expected to cast his vote for Aus/NZ in accordance with his FIFA technical report, which he dutifully did. Then it was a matter of getting eight of the remaining twelve votes from Africa and North/Central America...

(By the way, the WWC hosts are voted on by the FIFA Council – which has 37 members though that includes a New Zealand and Colombian representative so those two were ineligible to vote, recused for obvious reasons)

... and we bagged ‘em all. The word was that the American and Canadian delegates would step up for us but that the Spanish speaking Central American delegates would lean towards Colombia. Except they didn’t. Just like how all seven African delegates threw their love in our direction... what a bunch of champions. All the six confederations therefore voted unanimously with Asia, Oceania, African, and North/Central America going with the Australia/Aotearoa bid and South America and Europe going with the Colombia bid. And the FIFA President leaning to the former.

All them complicated politics aside then, the correct result has been reached in the end... at least correct by our perspective on this side of the planet. Australia and New Zealand 2023. It’ll be the first WWC with co-hosts although the men’s World Cup has seen Japan and South Korea share those duties back in 2002 and the 2026 version with see USA, Canada, and Mexico triple-co-hosting. A few youth World Cups have been shared as well... though this will be a first in having a World Cup split across two confederations (albeit two countries that are way closer together than Canada and Mexico).

Also if you’re worried that Aotearoa might be a put-upon little sibling in this relationship then don’t worry. The fixtures are surprisingly egalitarian. Aussie gets the final, naturally, but the opening match will be at Eden Park in Auckland with a semi-final probably in Aotearoa as well and the matches will be split close to 50-50 between the two countries – Hamilton, Wellington, Christchurch, and Dunedin also getting in on the fun. Wellington (Sky Stadium) and Auckland are the two eligible grounds for semis in Aotearoa, while the other three can all have games knockout games below that level including the third and fourth playoff. The official allocation of games hasn’t happened yet.

But, sneaky factor here, one other thing that got confirmed with this news is that we’ve qualified for the next World Cup. The 2023 version is expanding from 24 to 32 teams and coming outta Oceania we were probably gonna be there regardless but still a nice concrete fact to take forward. It’s no lie to say that the Footy Ferns didn’t live up to expectations at the last World Cup in France and we’ve still never won a game at a World Cup. That mission is helped by the expansion in the tournament, meaning a few more potentially beatable teams amongst the mix, but it’s helped way more by having host status... which means a top seeding when the draw comes around. If it’s ever gonna happen then this is the time.

Sort of like how the Men’s U20s got to host that tournament in 2015, won their first ever game and made their first ever knockouts, then have gone from strength to strength since. Made the knockouts the next two times with that 2019 crew seemingly now the catalyst for a new era in All Whites footy in which positive attacking and possession football isn’t just something our top ballers watch on telly.

No point going on about what this could do for the sport in Aotearoa. FIFA are gonna pump heaps of cash into football in these two nations to help make the tournament run smoothly (*Dr Evil voice*: “One BILLION dollars!”) and the respective governments are on board too. The ramifications of this tournament could be monumental. At a time when there’s a lingering feeling like we might be falling off the pace with other nations previously on our level because of the financial stuff we’ve just got a huge shot in the arm. From top level structures and professionalism to wider community interest to even the stated interest of the Wellington Phoenix to get a women’s team in the W-League. Huge immediate growth and more sustainable infrastructure at a time when we really kinda need it. Beautiful.

I just hope that the wider kiwi public realise what a huge deal this is. The 2019 Women’s World Cup had a reported total viewership well in excess of a billion people. This is the big time right here... and we’ve only got three years to prepare for it because FIFA are lazy and a bit sexist but that’s the way it goes.

By the way, how about this for the next few years of wahine sport in Aotearoa...

  • Hosting the 2021 Women’s Cricket World Cup

  • Hosting the 2021 Women’s Rugby World Cup

  • Co-hosting the 2023 Women’s Football World Cup

Love it. Absolutely love it.

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