Bill Tuiloma – Portland Timbers (American Major League Soccer)

It was a ding dong battle, as the rugby-folk say, when Portland and LAFC met in the final round of the MLS Is Back Tournament group stages. Portland were already through but needed to avoid defeat to get the top seeding in the group and as such avoid playing local rivals Seattle Sounders in the knockouts. Unless they wanted that, dunno. They might have because they did rotate the defence a bit. Dario Župarić was back from suspension but instead of coming in for Bill Tuiloma who had replaced him last game he came in for Larrys Mabiala who was given a rest. Three CBs starting two games each in the group stage.

This game began with a bang as the Timbers scored the opening goal out of nowhere in the seventh minute. Jaroslaw Niezgoda started in place of the in-form Jeremy Ebobisse, another bit of rotation, and he rewarded that choice by slipping one past the keeper after the LAFC defence went walkabouts in the wrong areas. But LAFC soon figured things out and they finished the half stronger, throwing more and more at the Portland defence until they finally broke. Bradley Wright-Phillips found some space on the left running at the defence which dragged Tuiloma across to cover him and after a feint or two BWP bashed one under Tui’s leg and it rocketed past the blind-sighted goalie. And then a few minutes later a curling corner kick to the far post was headed in by Mark-Anthony Kaye... as he slipped free of Tuiloma’s marking grasp. Two goals in a short space of time both where Tui was the closest defender.

Not really the most convincing argument for him to start in the knockouts. Especially that second goal which was pretty much all his fault (great cross and header though). The second half didn’t have much to offer until the last quarter of an hour, when Portland figured they might as well have a crack at it. Ebobisse came on as a sub and should have done better when he sliced and open-footed shot wide in the 77th min. Then Župarić went close with a header from a corner that was tipped over for another corner in the 81st min. And then, ladies and gents, it was time for Billy T’s redemption...

He basically dunked on that dude for the second header. The first was already a thunderbolt off the noggin which the defender did well to block away and then he dominated the second phase too, showing a bit of nous to slip it over to Ebobisse for the equaliser in the process. Not sure how it’s possible he’s never assisted a goal for club or country before – doubt the stats from his lower league stuff in France are all that comprehensive let alone his age grade stuff for Aotearoa – but this was definitely his first assist in America at MLS or USL level. Decent old time to pull that rabbit out of the hat. This 2-2 draw means Portland finish top of their group with two wins and a draw and will face Cincinnati in the next round.

Up Next: Portland Timbers vs FC Cincinnati, MLS Round of 16, 2.30pm on Wednesday (NZT)

Chris Wood - Burnley FC (English Premier League)

Shout out to Christopher Grant “The Woodsman” Wood. Burnley might have lost 2-1 to Brighton in their final game of the Premier League season, leaving them tenth on the table (a win woulda earned them eighth although that’s not good enough for European footy so no dramas) but with a goal late in the first half he took himself to 14 for the season. Woody thus finished tied for 13th on the Golden Boot rankings, level with Gabriel Jesus and ahead of fellas like Son Heung-Min, Riyad Mahrez and Teemu Pukki. Plus he did that taking only 2.0 shots per game which is fewer than every player that finished ahead of him in the race for the Boot.

This was also his third straight PL game with a goal which is the second time he’s done that this campaign... after failing to score in the first five league games at the beginning of the season (way back in those innocent pre-Covid days) he hasn’t since gone more than three PL games in a row without a goal. Another one: this was his third straight season with at least 10 Premier League goals. 14 in one season is a Burnley record since the Premier League rebranding of the early-90s and he missed six games too so it could have been more.

And as if that’s not enough he also won another prestigious Premier League award, retaining it in fact from his exploits last season... the Golden Flag. Only 35 offsides this term which narrowly edged him from Bournemouth’s Callum Wilson, not quite the like when he won it last season by fifteen clear flags. Wood had 53 offsides in 2018-19 compared to 38 for Glenn Murray and 37 for Jamie Vardy in third. 53 offsides in one season is the most any single player had managed since Darren Bent caught 67 of them back in 2010-11.

Wood’s goal came in the 44th minute. Brighton were already ahead thanks to a great long-range strike from Yves Bissouma after picking up a loose clearance down the middle of the pitch after twenty mins. But closing in on the half-time whistle and Erik Pieters picked out Woodsy on the end of some slick movement off his marker and the form he’s in at the moment it was one touch to control and then another to slide it past the keeper all in a smooth motion, the ball nestling inside the far post. Clinical striker’s work.

However Aaron Connolly, who had already missed one chance to put Brighton back on top, cut in from the left about five minutes after the break and he managed to evade the defence and beat Pope from a tricky angle. It ended up being the winning goal... although Rodriguez did temporarily level things up with a beauty of a flicked header from a corner only for it to be belatedly disallowed for an offside player who blocked off the keeper. There was also a claim of a penalty early in the game when Jay Rodriguez was knocked over but that one was let slide by the VAR. Kevin Long then had a shot blocked and Chris Wood had a goal-bound header at the far post which Jay Rod intercepted along with a defender and it ended up looping to safety. But despite the impression that might give you, Brighton were good value for the win. They were the better team for most of the game and Burnley just had to cop that. To be fair the Clarets were without a bunch of their usual starters. This was the fourth year in a row they’ve lost on the final day of the season. Not that it mattered.

Still buzzing on 14 goals in a Premier League season for Wood. Too good. It was just a bummer at the other end that as the goals conceded in this one cost Nick Pope his Golden Gloves chances. He needed a clean sheet here to tie Ederson of Manchester City, who concurrently shut out Norwich in a 5-0 hiding and effectively book himself the trophy whether he shared it or held it alone. Turns out he’ll hold it alone. 16 clean sheets for that fella. A mere 15 for Popey. Maybe next season.

Up Next: The next season starts in a mere seven weeks, mark the calendars

Niko Kirwan – Reggio Audace (Italian Serie C)

Oh hey would you look at that? Have a look at this while you’re at it too...

Those, friend, are scenes of promotion as Reggia Audace (commonly known as Reggiana) earned their way into the second tier of Italian footy with a 1-0 win over Bari in the promotion playoffs. It wasn’t a simple task even just to get there, Reggiana were second in their conference when the pandemic brought it all to a halt and when things did resume it was decided they’d go straight into playoffs, with the three teams leading each of the three Serie C groups at the time of postponement awarded their trophies and automatic promotion and the tables as they stood determining who’d playoff for the fourth and final ticket up the ladder.

Reggiana were six points back on Vicenza after 27 games, still a chance to catch them but far enough back not to have any complaints. A few too many draws holding them back as both teams had only lost two league games all season. Into the playoffs and that second placed spot meant they didn’t have to enter the knockouts until the fourth round where they hosted Potenza, drew 0-0... and advanced as the higher placed team. Niko Kirwan didn’t play that game and he was likewise an unused sub as Reggiana beat Novara 2-1 in the semis to advance to the ultimate match. But he did play the final. Brought on as part of a double sub in the 65th minute after Augustus Kargbo had scored the decisive goal early in the second half.

And then absolute scenes commenced. Even without fans the prize on offer made this a pressure-cooker contest and to get promotion this way... safe to say things got pretty wild, at least as far as the evidence on the ‘gram suggested. Would’ve been pretty amazing to be a part of. Kirwan played 23 times this season, 16 of them starts, picking up an impressive seven yellow cards in the process. Reggiana are the third Serie C team that Niko’s played for in the last three years but transfermarkt suggests he’s got another year on his contract with these fellows so fingers crossed there’s some game time for him in Serie C.

Up Next: Hangover cures?

Ali Riley – FC Rosengård (Swedish Damallsvenskan)

It really has been Welcome Back for Ali Riley. She played her second return game for the Rosies this week against KIF Örebro and was subbed on for the last half hour with a gift of a scoreline that read 4-0 to Rosengård. They’d been four up and cruising since the 23rd minute actually and ended up winning 6-0, scoring another from the penalty spot and then a whack from the edge of the area to polish it off. A few of the early goals were really great. Ali Riley came on and played at right back, she was gassing up in support as the penalty was won. You can have a peek at all that in the highlights package. The win has the Rosies only one point behind top-placed Göteborg after six games with equal goal difference and hey guess who they play next up?

Up Next: Away to Göteborg at 5am on Friday (NZT)

Hannah Wilkinson – Djurgården IF (Swedish Damallsvenskan)

Mental old gameday, this one. Djurgården took the lead quarter of an hour in against Kristianstad when Fanny Lång rocketed in an incredible free kick and it got even better later in the half when Camilla Huseby and Tilda Lindewall struck within three minutes of each other... 3-0 up and flying.

But Kristianstad pulled one back from a corner kick before the break and that lifeline led to a tricky second half, made trickier when a clever backheel gave Kristianstad a second goal in the 68th minute. On came Hannah Wilkinson as part of a double sub to try and halt the momentum but it didn’t work and Amanda Edgren scored with quarter of an hour left to ensure a remarkable comeback... and a remarkable bottler from Djurgården as they blew a three-goal lead to come away with only a point. Highlights available riiiiiight here.

Up Next: Thursday at 5am against Eskilstuna United (NZT)

Nando Pijnaker - Grasshopper Club Zürich (Swiss Challenge League)

Is that a debut for Nando Pijnaker? You’d better believe it. Pijnaker (and Max Mata) were both added to the first team squad at Grasshoppers after the lockdown but up until this very morning neither had found their way into a matchday squad. But not only did Nando get the nod for the bench against FC Wil but he also found himself subbed on at centreback for the last 27 minutes of the contest.

At the time GCZ were 2-0 down and staring at some pesky dropped points as they try to catch Lausane at the top of the Challenge League or at least hold onto second place and get a promotion playoff to bounce straight back up to the top flight following relegation a year ago. Only a couple games left too so every result is vital. And being down a couple goals it wasn’t looking good so the gaffer made a few alterations including old mate Nando being chucked on to try and shore up that backline but also to add some height in both penalty areas. His first task was to attack a free kick and he very quickly asserted himself at left CB, getting plenty of touches on the ball as he knocked it around. Good positive start.

Also subbed on at the same time was a fella called Mychell Chaga... and wouldn’t you believe it within five minutes of coming on Chaga had scored a brace and drawn GCZ back level at 2-2! But having put FC Wil on the rocks with that double strike they weren’t able to take maximum advantage and the home team resettled and scored a winner in the 86th minute through Julian von Moos. A ball lifted over Pijanker’s head which caught the two CBs and the GK confused as to who had to go for it and van Moos poked it past the trio for the three points. 3-2 defeat for Grasshoppers which blows their last game in hand and leaves them in third a point behind Vaduz – a team out of Liechtenstein which plays in the Swiss leagues in a Wellington Phoenix-esque arrangement. Meaning GCZ’s last two games are effectively must-win games now. Well the were 2-1 up in the minutes that Nando played so there’s a hint for them.

Up Next: Away to FC Aarau on Friday at 6.30am (NZT)

Elliot Collier – Chicago Fire (American Major League Soccer)

There will be more MLS football in 2020 but there won’t be any more in the MLS Is Back Tournament for Elliot Collier as the Chicago Fire were knocked out in the group stage. Same as with the first two games Collier was brought on as a late sub, playing the final quarter of an hour against the Vancouver Whitecaps... but he wasn’t able to bring them back from a two-goal deficit as the Whitecaps struck twice within six minutes pretty much immediately after the game resumed following an hour and a half’s lightning delay.

There were 62 minutes of scoreless footy before the delay, in which Chicago looked like they’d comfortably get the point they needed to make it into the knockouts. Then the Whitecaps doused the Fire in water with goals from Yordy Reyna and Cristian Dajome. The Fire had way more possession and waaaaay more shot attempts and they did get the ball in the net with about ten minutes remaining but it was overturned because Jeffrey Sarpong had handballed it as he bundled it over the line in traffic. Hence a big upset win for the undermanned Whitecaps and a shocker for Chicago.

Collier had a couple moments where he could run at defenders and didn’t really do much, dribbled it out for a goal kick twice as he tried to play directly from that left wing. Then he got chewed out by the commentator for not just knocking it wide and getting in the middle... Collier’s a misunderstood player like that, he’s super tall so people look at him and think ‘target man striker’ but in reality he’s a skilful winger. So it goes. Chicago would’ve gone through with a draw so to lose against a previously winless team is definitely classifiable as a bottle-job. Still, Collier featured in all three group stage games which ain’t bad for a dude who was trialling for a new contract at the start of the year.

Up Next: Dunno yet

Michael Boxall – Minnesota United (American Major League Soccer)

Four goal thriller, what more do you want? Minnesota United finished off their MLS Is Back Tournament group stage campaign (*pause to catch breath*) with a 2-2 draw against Colorado Rapids which put them through to the next round in second place and keeps them undefeated in 2020. Kei Kamara gave Colorado the lead in the 19th, a smart finish after Minny’s left back went missing and Boxall had been dragged over in cover on the other side. But the Loons hit back twice through Ethan Finlay – the first a deft touch at the near post from a low free kick in the 36th min (took it out of Boxall’s path but all goods, defender probs would’ve got it) then the second a stabbed finish from a sweet Romain Metanire assist in the 43rd min for the half-time lead.

This was the sort of game which could easily gone in any direction. Both teams had chances to add to their tallies and the Rapids in particular were getting annoyed that Diego Rubio couldn’t put any of them away (including hitting the post at one point) but eventually Jonathan Lewis banged in an equaliser on the hour mark. If there were something riding on this result then there might have been even more drama late on but with the Rapids already out and the Loons happy with a draw it sorta faded out into that 2-2 stalemate.

Ninety minutes for Michael Boxall who had a quiet game. Very accurate with his passing out and was strong in the air like you’d expect of him. Not a lot to do though. James Musa was an unused sub while Noah Billingsley has yet to feature in a matchday squad. Deklan Wynne was also an unused sub for Colorado which has been the trend for kiwis in MLS so far. Boxall and Tuiloma are playing regularly, Collier’s come off the bench in each of the three tourney games, but Winston Reid can’t seem to get a run (his Sporting KC team is through to the quarters after beating Vancouver on penalties). No sign of Kyle Adams for Houston yet either. All a matter of patience. Hopefully, pandemic allowing, it’ll be a long season.

Up Next: Columbus Crew vs Minnesota United, midday on Wednesday (NZT)

Abby Erceg – North Carolina Courage (American National Women’s Soccer League)

That’s cool, s’pose. It would have been cooler had it not come after defeat in the first knockout round but it’s all motivation for next time. Sweet as to see Erceg recognised because these NWSL team of the years have been very wonky in the past and even though the Courage didn’t go deep they were by far the best team in the group stage – thus four NCC players made the cut for this team. The Houston Dash went on to in the Challenge Cup if you were wondering, they beat Chicago Red Stars 2-0 in the final thanks to goals from Sophie Schmidt and Shea Groom.

Up Next: Any more NWSL footy in 2020? Dunno

Nikko Boxall – Viborg FF (Danish Division 1)

Viborg’s decent late-season form has been a regular sight on Flying Kiwis lately though an undercurrent narrative of that has been Nikko Boxall’s expiring contract and the increasing tendency for him to be rotated out of the starting lineup. Basically, it felt like they were preparing to say later bro and sure enough, before their final game of the season, Nikko Boxall took to the ‘gram to say his own fare thee wells.

NB didn’t end up playing that last game (for good reason), which Viborg lost 2-0 against Kolding IF with nothing left to play for. They were gonna finish second either way so perhaps motivation wasn’t really there. Anyway, Boxall leaves VFF having played 66 league games in his two and a half years (all starts prior to this season), scoring two goals and picking up 9 yellow cards. They were in that hunt for promotion to the top flight in each of those three seasons but couldn’t quite get over the line, oh well.

But no sooner does one door close than another opens...

SJK – full name: Seinäjoen Jalkapallokerho. That means a return to Finland where he played a couple years before moving to Denmark, finishing second with KuPS in 2017 after two years with VPS. So it’s a place he’s familiar with plus traditionally SJK are one of the top teams in the country too so it should be nice and competitive for him. Also gotta rate the creative thought that led to the club’s unveiling video for his transfer with a NIKKO-branded remote control car driving around the pitch nudging a ball around.

As you can probably figure from these translated quotes the SJK gaffer Honkavaara was Boxall’s coach back in 2017 when he played for KuPS before he moved to Viborg in Denmark so there’s some continuity there as well. Seems like the stars aligned pretty well. Making use of those past contacts.

Nikko Boxall: “I'm really excited to return to Finland and to play under Jani Honkavaara’s coaching. We had a good year with him. I've also heard a lot of good SJK from Walter Viitala, who is a good friend of mine who I played with in Viborg in 2018. SJK is also a club I already know and I remember it from my own previous years in Finland as one of the “big boys” in the series. They won the Finnish championship in my first season and did well after that. I definitely want to do my best in SJK’s shirt and be involved in lifting the club back to success.”

SJK head coach Jani Honkavaara: “I coached Nikko in the 2017 season and he can be considered a real top athlete. A very tenacious defender and a good team player who leads the backline with his own example. Samba Benga was injured at the beginning of the season and now that our roads with José Nadson have parted, we had a great need for a good and dependable defender. When we heard about the possibility of getting Nikko Boxall here right away, of course we wanted to seize it. Above all, he brings leadership to our team. Boxall lives entirely on the terms of the sport and is a great example of a team player who always gives his all. In that sense, he is a top player from the coach's point of view and I think we will get an important piece of our defence with Boxall.”

The Finish season was already four games in when he signed but he was at least able to join the team immediately. Did a coronavirus test at the border which came back negative and then with the technicalities all sorted he was free to play on the weekend. Hence why he was nowhere to be seen for Viborg. Funny coincidence, in his first game for SJK he played against his old club KuPS... and lost 2-1 which wasn’t great. They were 2-0 down after 18 minutes and had a fella sent off with about a dozen remaining in the game. Boxall himself got a yellow card, one of four teammates to be booked and that doesn’t include the bloke who got two yellows and thus a red. Lovely to see Nikko immediately getting ninety minutes... although this was the third straight defeat for SJK so there’s work to be done.

Up Next: SJK vs Haka, 2am on Sunday (NZT)

Matt Garbett – Falkenbergs FF (Swedish Allsvenskan)

With twenty minutes to go away at IFK Göteborg, FFF were trailing 2-0. They’d conceded goals to Giorgi Kharaishvili and Hosam Aiesh, each scoring in the eighth minute of the respective halves. The best version of this paragraph would then go that on came Matty G and next thing FFF roared back to win it 3-2... the real life version is that they pulled a goal back through Edi Sylisufaj in the 72nd minute and then Garbett was subbed on soon after as Falkenbergs smelled blood in the water.

What followed were a few hopeful/desperate shots from distance but as the game dragged on FFF kept on upping the temperature. Garbett had a couple chances to stretch his legs which didn’t lead to anything. A Lorik Ademi shot was cleared off the line with a couple mins left. Then the keeper made a great save to deny Marcus Mathisen. A blocked John Chibuike shot drew penalty appeals. At this point there was less than ninety seconds left in stoppage time and it was feeling like it wasn’t to be... but a lot can happen in ninety seconds. For example big defender Carl Johansson might be hovering up the top with numbers in the box and he might get up and win a header back across goal from the far post which beats the keeper and equalises right at the end of the match. In fact, what do you know, that’s exactly what did happen. Then Garbett grabbed the ball outta the net in the celebrations... but there was no time for much more. It was enough that Falkenbergs came back for the 2-2 draw and some much needed confidence.

The a few days later it happened to them in reverse. Football can be a cruel game like that sometimes, FFF were 2-0 up after half an hour against Norrköping only to get pegged back to 2-2 with twenty minutes left. They then scored what felt like an 88th minute winner only to concede a 95th minute equaliser. And old mate Johansson who scored the crucial goal in the previous game? He got sent off right at the end. A cruel game indeed... Garbett was an unused sub so no need to dwell on it. Annoying one to let slip against the top team on the ladder but at least they didn’t lose. Here are the highlights anyway...

Up Next: Örebro vs FFF, Sunday at 1am (NZT)

Steven Old – East Kilbride (Scottish Lowland Football League)

He told us he was moving north of the border and his word was bond. Steven Old left Morecambe after a few stressful seasons keeping them in League Two and now he’s off to East Kilbride, the Kilby, to try and win a promotion or two. East Kilbride partake in the Lowland Football League which is the fifth tier on the Scottish pyramid below the Scottish League Two. So... should be a drop in standard but the flipside of that is he’s living closer to family and gets to be one of the big stars on campus.

East Kilbride finished seventh last season after things were abandoned at the pandemic and the table decided on a points per game basis (which only changed about two teams’ positions). It’s pretty hard to get promoted to League Two, the champs of the Highland and Lowland leagues playoff and then the winner of that two-legged tie plays off against the bottom team from League Two over two legs for the lone promotion spot. East Kilbride have twice won the Lowlands league in the last four seasons but lost once in the promotion playoff and lost once in the pyramid playoff. There was no promotion/relegation to League Two last year because of the pando.

Steven Old: “I am really happy to be joining the club and was hugely impressed by the vision sold to me by the Manager. When I decided to move back to Scotland this summer, I wanted to make sure I was joining the right club, and I'm very happy to be here and can't wait to get started for real.”

Manager Stephen Aitken: “Bringing a player of Steven's experience and stature to the club is a real coup, and we are delighted to have him on board. When he decided to come back to Scotland, there were many League clubs he could have chosen, but for us to be able to bring him to K-Park is extremely pleasing.”

Oldie obviously played for Kilmarnock back in the day so he knows his way around Scottish footy. He’s the sixth new signing that the Kilby have made for next season and they’re probably not done there with a relatively new manager so the ambition is clear.

Up Next: Still waiting on official dates for the new season

Ryan Thomas – PSV Eindhoven (Dutch Eredivisie)

We’ve got all these project restart type leagues finishing up around now and taking a dip in the Flying Kiwis stocks but that means that it’s about time for the leagues that cancelled things to focus on next time to have their turn. PSV’s preseason starts this upcoming week. Their first Eredivisie game is in a month and a half.

It was a frustrating time last campaign as they sacked a manager and struggled horribly late in 2019 and while they did find a bit of resurgence after the new year then the pandemic came along and the league got canned with PSV in fourth place. Good enough to put them into Europa League qualifying at least, that’s something to play for. And most importantly to the new gaffer Roger Schmidt is that he’s got a fully fit Ryan Thomas to work with after Thommo announced himself after a long injury struggle with a series of fine performances before lockdown. Not a lot going on the transfer front yet for PSV either, see how that goes because they really do need a striker or two.

Up Next: Groningen vs PSV, 2.45am on 14 September – first Eredivisie game of 2020-21 (NZT)

Vic Esson – Avaldsnes IL (Norwegian Toppserien)

Disappointing result for Avaldsnes. They were 1-0 up after just five minutes against Vålerenga when a shot from Rasheedat Ajibade had snuck under the goalie but away from home they couldn’t hold on down the back nine. Esson so nearly made a brilliant save to preserve that lead but despite blocking the initial shot the ball fell into the path of Ingibjörg Sigurdardottir who tapped it in for the leveller in the 69th min and then agonisingly a bit of poor defending under pressure put Ajara Nchout Njoya through in the 89th minute and she slid it past Esson for the winner.

Conceding a late winner is always a ruthless way to go down but what makes this even more ruthless is that Nchout Njoya is the same player who scored both goals against New Zealand for Cameroon at the last World Cup... including the last gasp winner for a 2-1 result. Guuuutted. Although it ain’t all bad because Vålerenga is actually CJ Bott’s new team. She’s out injured at the moment but four games in her team are only one point off top, sitting in third. Avaldsnes are one spot back after being leapfrogged by their opponents here. This was their first loss.

Up Next: Monday at 2am vs IL Sandviken (NZT)

Joe Bell – Viking FK (Norwegian Eliteserien)

Viking finally got the kind of result they’ve been desperate for all season: a comfortably victory. For once they got through a week without it being all frisky as they took the lead through Kristoffer Løkberg with a tidy finish off the cut-back in the third minute against Sarpsborg and never looked back. Adrian Pereira doubled the lead in the 36th minute when his volley was too strong to save in the aftermath of an outswinging Joe Bell corner kick and that same fella Pereira headed in forty seconds into the second half to make it 3-0 and they saw it out from there with no further goals. Viking were closer to a fourth than Sarpsborg were to a first. The win puts the Vikes safely up into the midtable range... another full game for Joe Bell in that defensive midfield role too.

Up Next: Rosenborg vs Vikings, Friday at 6.30am (NZT)

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