Sarpreet Singh - SSV Jahn Regensburg (German 2. Liga)

Primetime Sarpreet is the business. This game took place on a Saturday morning NZT, it was Jahn Regensburg against Dynamo Dresden, and it was a great opportunity to bounce back after two defeats on the trot. Sarpreet Singh on the left wing as per. Away we go.

Singh kinda missed a simple one in the 16th min. Picked up the ball on the spread as Regensburg attacked with numbers and angled in from the left to shoot with his right foot. That shot was blocked but he carried on his movement towards the rebound only to lift it over the top from about ten yards. On the bounce but with the keeper out of position and only really a defender on the line to challenge him. It was the first clean chance of the match for either team. Singh had another crack on 26’ running onto a ball from his fullback sent through the RB/CB channel... though by the time he got onto it the angle was a bit tricky and all there was to do was smash it towards goal and hope for the best. Keeper made a sturdy low save.

In a scrappy game, with a few cards going around, Regensburg took some control via Singh finding space on the left. Always important to make those spells count... so they did. Jan-Niklas Beste winning an aerial challenge out wide with the ball falling for Singh, who didn’t hesitate a second before swinging over a cross with his first touch. Benedikt Saller was lurking there on the switch and he volleyed in first time for the goal. Did require a bit of a VAR check on the initial Beste challenge but they let it ride and Regensburg were up 1-0. Assist number six for Superstarpreet – only two fellas have more across the entire 2.Liga.

Singh also had another shot before the half was done, a right-footer drifting across which he didn’t quite catch in terms of power but which was guided nicely on target and required a diving tip around the post. Problem with SSV Jahn is that they have not been much of a second half team so 1-0 was a delicate lead considering they’d been much the better team. Sure enough it took all of two minutes of the second half for a cross to be swung in from Morris Schröter and a header to be nudged in from Cristoph Daferner and Dresden were level.

Sarpreet swapped to the right wing in the second half, trading places with Beste to mix things up. He continued to look as likely as anyone to make something happen... but Regensburg weren’t as incisive in the second half. Things got a bit stale and then a triple sub with quarter of an hour remaining marked the end of his evening. Gotta settle for just the one assist this week.

Still, the rest of the fellas had a game to win. 80th minute, SSV had a corner kick out on the right. In came the ball from Beste and boom went the header from Kaan Caliskaner. That goal forced Dresden to open things up some more and two minutes later Regensburg scored again as the quick ball over the top from out wide to Charalambos Makridis allowed him to take a touch to shake his marker and then blast a finish past the keeper for 3-1. Dresden with a couple danger moments late but Regensburg had the buffer now. A 3-1 victory. Lovely way to bounce back after last week. Catch some highlights over here.

Up Next: Heidenheim vs Jahn Regensburg, Monday at 1.30am (NZT)

Joe Bell – Viking FK (Norwegian Eliteserien)

This was a massive game for Viking, away against Kristiansund knowing in their third to last fixture and easily the toughest one remaining. Kristiansund being one of a handful of teams still challenging Viking for third place... and that challenge got a lot stronger in the fourth minute when Bendik Bye put the home side in front after Gianni Stensness had a pass intercepted playing out from his own area. Terrible start, Viking already in the deficit.

It was not a vintage Viking performance. Some tiredness towards the end of the season maybe, dunno, but they weren’t creating a heap. Seb Sebulonsen did thwack one towards the top corner but it was tipped away acrobatically by the goalie. Mostly a midfield battle though... until the 41st minute when Kristoffer Lie Løkberg had a crack from just inside the area and it took a friendly deflection to level the scores up.

A draw would still be a much better result for Viking than Kristiansund, even if they kept on pushing for a winner. But on 66 mins they copped a stunner as Torgil Øwre Gjertsen saw the ball appear in front of him and he first-timed that sucker into the top corner with a bit of swirl... amazing goal. Annoyingly then when Viking needed to slide up a few gears they didn’t seem to have it in them. About twenty solid minutes with the prospect of potentially spoiling a fantastic season still on the table and they could hardly create anything.

Until a cross hit an arm and they won a penalty. Veton Berisha stepped up and buried it, as he does. 88th minute equaliser. Then in stoppage time Sondre Flem Bjørshol busted into the area and showed some real strength to hold off his man before slamming a wonderful strike in at the near post. Incredibly, Viking had come all the way back to win the game 3-2.

Then came the hilarious shenanigans.

As if the dramatic comeback to all but secure third place on the ladder with two games to spare (they need one more point to make it happen and this was their toughest remaining match) wasn’t enough of a storyline, a couple Viking teammates then went and almost entirely overshadowed the win just before the final whistle by getting into a fight... with each other.

Goalkeeper Patrik Gunnarsson and defender David Brekalo. Not sure what the handbags were about, probably just the heat of battle and all that, but Brekalo gave Gunnarsson a shove which he didn’t appreciate too much so he got back up in Brekalo’s face. Thus the big defender gave him another couple heavy palms to the chest and this time Gunnarsson took a wild tumble. Like, he clearly exaggerated the contact, as they say. Getting his own buddy in trouble. Whaaaaat was going on!?

Joe Bell did his best to talk the referee out of anything drastic as other VFK players separated the two scrappers but alas ‘twas to no avail. Out came the red card. Up went Joe Bell’s hands to his face in disbelief. Off went David Brekalo for a slightly early shower (there were basically only seconds remaining).

But it’s all good, folks, because there’s a happy end to this yarn. Gunnarsson and Brekalo shared some ‘Smil’ branded lollies at the airport as they put the drama behind them.

All’s well that ends well. Viking FK, who were playing second tier football in 2018, are on the brink of their best league finish since 2007. Which will come with Europa Conference League second qualifying round entry too... though whether Joe Bell will still be there to partake in those experiences is another matter. They did well to hold on to him when the summer transfer window closed but now the winter one is only a month away. Very real possibility that these next two games will be his last for the club.

Up Next: Viking vs Odd on Monday at 5am (NZT)

Callum McCowatt, Elijah Just & Nando Pijnaker - FC Helsingør / Marko Stamenic - HB Køge (Danish Division 1)

Cheeky Flying Kiwis derby in the Danish second tier, with a bit of an extra twist. All three of the NZ lads at Helsingør came up together at the Ole Academy... and so did Marko Stamenic a couple years behind them. Four dudes all coalescing on the other side of the globe sharing the same academy origins, what a yarn. Although only Eli Just and Marko Stamenic were actually named to start, with Callum McCowatt on the bench and Nando Pijnaker not involved at all.

In keeping with the recent form/fortunes of these teams, it was Helsingør who immediately came out and bossed the match. Lots of silky footy and plenty of shots though not nearly enough of them on target and testing the keeper. A couple gorgeous touches in there from Eli Just on the right wing who was very much in his Assist King mode but yeah nothing flying into the top corner quite yet.

Then nothing flying in after that either. Come half time they’d had 20 shots and two-thirds of possession and somehow the game remained 0-0. Just with one curling attempt off target in particular but it was mostly the strikers botching their finishing. However Just did get booked for diving. Waxed his man but a heavy touch took the ball too far and he tumbled over running past his closest marker. A yellow was arguably harsh but no chance of a spottie. Note Just and Stamenic having a quick word walking off the pitch together here...

Just came more into the shooting stats in the second, stabbing one wide and having another blocked just as it looked like it might open up for him in the box. Had one blocked by Marko Stamenic too which came mere seconds after Stamenic had probably been a tad lucky to avoid a yellow card after grabbing Just back as he rolled on his first touch collecting a pass. Then a low EJ shot was saved at the near post.

Stamenic had also been booked in the first half. Lining up in a midfield trio, it was an unenviable task for him having to do a whole lot of work off the ball trying to shield his defence against a team with heaps of possession. Lots of defending in structure. But at 0-0 there were inklings that the game might even be there to win for HB Koge and in the 65th minute that led to Stamenic being subbed off as they went to a more attacking line-up. The yellow card probably not helping his cause. So it goes.

Not that it really changed anything, FCH were still pushing forward as much as ever. What this game clearly needed was some Callum McCowatt... though naturally when he came on (with about twenty to play) as part of a triple substitution for FCH is required Eli Just to put his jacket on and take a seat on the bench. All goods, McCowatt was straight away into the action and oh would you look at this he set up a goal...

Mikkel Knudsen with the back stick tap in after Callum McCowatt put it on a platter for him. Fifth assist of the league season for CMC. Unfortunately Oscar Buch then banged one in against the run of play for Køge with five mins to go so Helsingør were once again back in scramble mode looking for a winner, unable to find another breakthrough. The game ending 1-1, Helsingør still first after 17 games but the lead has shrunk to one point. Long way still to go of course.

Up Next: FCH are on Saturday at 6.30am away to Hobro, a few hours after HB Køge finish up against Esbjerg, that one kicks off at 1am (NZT)

CJ Bott - Vålerenga (Norwegian Toppserien)

New horizons beckon for CJ Bott, who has announced that she won’t be re-signing with Vålerenga. There had been conversations about a new deal but ultimately that hasn’t happened. Bott spent two years with VIF, winning the league and cup double last year, finishing fourth but repeating as cup champs this year (though Bott didn’t play in the final coming back from Footy Ferns duty). She also played Champions League footy both years – qualifiers and a round of 32 match in 2020 and a couple qualifiers in 2021. She scored 2 goals in 29 Toppserien appearances for the club.

CJ Bott: “I’ve had my two best football years in Vålerenga. The club and the team have been like a family so it is of course very sad to leave this life, but the time is right to try new challenges. I want to thank the club for all the support through what was a difficult time for me during the pandemic and wish everyone the best of luck. In me you now have a new supporter.”

VIF sporting director Egil Ødegaard: “CJ is undoubtedly a good football player who has contributed to the trophies we have won. Football is now such that players come and go without there being any drama behind it, so of course we wish all the best to CJ in the new club.”

Prior to this stint, Bott played with Vittsjö (Sweden) and USV Jena (Germany).

Up Next: We shall see...

Andre De Jong – AmaZulu FC (South African Premier Soccer League)

For basically the last year, there have been reports suggesting that Andre De Jong was surplus to requirements at AmaZulu. His time there began okay but then he broke his foot on All Whites duty and by the time he eventually recovered... things had changed. Benni McCarthy had taken over as manager and he apparently wanted a slimmer squad. Despite being a former teammate of Ryan Nelsen that didn’t seem to include ADJ. McCarthy’s AmaZulu team has been bloody good too, surging to a second placed finish and CAF Champions League qualification last season so not a lot of need to rotate things during all that.

ADJ made 11 PSL appearances in his first season prior to getting injured halfway through (517 mins) but only 2 apps (122 mins) in his second season. And those two games were seven and a half months apart - the second being the last game of the campaign. However, despite the odds, he was still there coming into the final year of his contract as this new term kicked off and although things were skint to begin with for him there’s been some welcome positivity lately. Four times he’s gotten out there in the month of November which one more appearance than he made in the previous 16 months combined.

The start of this little resurgence came at the beginning of the month against Marumo Gallants in an utterly bonkers match. It ended up as a tame 0-0 draw, that wasn’t the bonkers bit. The bonkers bit is that they tried to play the game the day before when it was initially scheduled but the officials called it off after nine minutes because of a clash in jersey colours. AmaZulu in their usual dark green and Gallants in a navy blue.

They tried to find a solution but AmaZulu didn’t want to wear their away kit in a home game and Gallants inexplicably hadn’t travelled with an alternate kit. Plus the lights at the stadium had been taken down for repairs so they couldn’t restart the game anyway given the impending darkness. Thus it was decreed that they would instead play the following day with both teams heavily fined and also having to bear the costs of the rescheduling. Rules were that they had to name the same starters as they had originally, when De Jong had been a surprise starter almost out of the blue. He got 65 mins out there in the draw.

Since then he’s popped up with a couple late cameos off the bench. 14 minutes in a 2-2 draw away to Stellenbosch and then 16 mins away to big dogs Kaizer Chiefs... where he set up the equaliser and forced a save late on in search of a winner. The story was never that ADJ’s attitude was stinking or that his abilities were lacking, it was always a matter of there being more in-form options ahead of him. However he’s found a window of opportunity now and if you’re involved in goals then the coach is going to sit up and pay attention. AmaZulu had a clean bill of health and no suspensions for that game too, not like he was the last man up or anything.

ADJ was subsequently rewarded for the hustle with a start away to Maritzburg United on the weekend. Up front and raring to go for what was only his eighth ever start in the PSL... and he didn’t waste much time getting stuck in. 10 mins gone and he angled a run in behind the Maritzburg defence and picked out Luvuyo Memela unmarked in the six yard box and Memela was able to smartly turn it goalwards. Two assists in two games for ADJ, go on my son.

This was a derby game, two provincial rivals, though AmaZulu have failed to beat Maritzburg for seven years. As they managed to shut them down for the rest of the first half it began to look like that might change but Maritzburg turned up the heat in the second spell. AmaZulu were gonna need another goal... and on 55 mins De Jong nearly provided one. Beat the offside trap but the pass across didn’t open up and the keeper was able to deny him as he tried to slide it past.

ADJ was subbed off after 79 mins. AmaZulu didn’t create enough else. Then in the 86th minute Amadou Soukouna got on the ball for Maritzburg and drifted across the perimeter before absolutely blasting in a fantastic equaliser. A couple minutes away from three points, alas. 1-1 was the final score. Hopefully this is the beginning of a good run of appearances for Andre De Jong because if anyone has earned a break then it’s him.

Up Next: Sunday at 2.30am vs Royal AM (NZT)

Bill Tuiloma – Portland Timbers (American Major League Soccer)

Billy T didn’t play again. On the bench for the second playoff game in a row as the Timbers took on the Colorado Rapids and because the game dragged on forever at nil-all there wasn’t much need in bringing on a defensive utility player. But the good news is that he’ll get another chance next week because the Timbers have advanced to the Conference Finals thanks to a very late Larrys Mabiala goal. Yeah, same bloke who scored against Minnesota United last week and then said afterwards that his inspiration had been Bill Tuiloma ribbing him about not having scored all season (the clip is in last week’s edition). Mabiala muscling off his markers from a last minute corner and pumping it into the net.

Colorado had caused some genuine trouble in the first half. A couple headers from corners and a couple crosses and the odd long shot. In an otherwise tense game they were the team throwing up the occasional game-busting moments. But Portland got increasingly more comfortable as the game progressed, as evidenced by Jose Van Rankin having a shot cleared off the line and a Diego Chara touch just wide at the back post on the break. Then right as it looked like extra time would be necessary... Mabiala popped up. 1-0 to Portland who’ll face Real Salt Lake in the next round. Two wins away from a championship now.

Up Next: Portland Timbers vs Real Salt Lake, MLS Cup Conference Finals, Sunday at 12.30pm (NZT)

Meikayla Moore – Liverpool (English Championship)

Just Meikayla Moore hanging out with Jurgen Klopp talking about the Rainbow Laces campaign. Kloppy seems like a nice bloke, aye? And obviously Moore’s a bit of a national treasure. Top chat. Spreading the good word.

Up Next: Still on Footy Ferns duty for now

Joey Champness - GZT Giresunspor (Turkish Süper Lig)

Joey Champness hasn’t had a heap of features for Giresunspor to date, still very much easing his way in after signing at the start of the season. When he was summoned with four minutes remaining away to Besiktas it was only his fourth appearance of the Süper Lig campaign. He did score off the bench in one of those earlier cameos though so getting a run against ten men in garbage time was a prime window to continue to show why he needs more time.

Giresunspor have started grinding out results after a very slow start and here they met a Besiktas team low on confidence... and gave them a serving. Scored from the penalty spot on 22’ then saw their opponents receive a red card late in the first half then cashed in from there with a few more goals. It was 3-0 when Champness came on... it was 4-0 when it finished. A turnover in midfield allowing for a quick counter and JOWIC was dashing towards the far post in support where the ball was dished to him on a platter with an open goal to slot into. Which he dutifully did.

However the reason there was an open goal was that the Besiktas goalie had twisted his knee trying to adjust for the oncoming overload and went down in pain – an injury that turned out to be an ACL tear. It was a freak incident off the ball but one which led to some debate as to whether or not Champness should have played on. The goalie did need to be replaced afterwards. But, like, he also had maybe five seconds max to make that decision and given that it was a non-contact injury which he may not have even seen happen as he made that run towards the box you probably just gotta play on there. An incident without precedent in Champness’ career, no doubt. Just unlucky from the Besiktas keeper’s point of view. So it goes. Two goals in 44 minutes for Champness this season now.

Club spokesperson Halil Ibrahim Önal had this to say about the fourth goal in a badly-google-translated statement:

“Our player did not realize this situation in the heat of the battle. We shouted 'don't shoot', but that was lost in the excitement of the moment. Our players also experienced great sadness after the goal. Despite everything, we were the winners. May the victory be beneficial to our entire community.”

Yeah sure, lol. Bet you shouted so loudly too. Nah, this was just a freak accident and there are no rule books for freak accidents. Not like the goal changed the course of the game in any way. They might even end up needing it in their relegation battle by the end of the campaign.

Up Next: Might get a bit more prominence in a Turkish Cup fourth round tie against Ankara Demirspor on Thursday at 11pm (NZT)

Ria Percival – Tottenham Hotspur (English Super League)

Get voting, Aotearoa. Gotta get Ria over the line here... although even if she doesn’t win, as she almost surely won’t up against players from much bigger fanbases, IT’S still one hell of an honour to have made the shortlist. Honestly, people don’t even realise what RP is doing in the WSL. Well, you do because you’re reading Flying Kiwis... but people don’t.

Up Next: Still on Footy Ferns duty, one thing at a time

Nik Tzanev – AFC Wimbledon (English League One)

A win and a draw, ticking the points tally over. First up was Crewe Alexandra who scored early after Chris Long broke the offside trap (11’) but by the end of the half the Dons were up 3-1. Jack Rudoni bundling in from a corner (24’), then Ollie Palmer with a tap-in (35’) and a penalty (44’). All a matter of shutting them down in the second half for three lovely points... and while Long did beat his marker to touch in from a low cross on 89’ it was too late to change the course. The Dons did get a late red card but this was one of their best attacking showings all season and they deserved the win against the bottom team on the ladder.

Then against Fleetwood Town, Tzanev got caught out bad for the opener standing way off his line trying to be a passing option only for his team to lose the ball in a bad area and leave him exposed. He recovered back into his area but Gerard Garner still slid it past him pretty easy. But they got back even from yet another set piece goal, Ayoub Assal with the finishing touch (53’), then Luke McCormick slipped in on 79’ to put them into the lead. Unfortunately they conceded five mins later failing to deal with a free kick and some aerial pinball. Ah well, 2-2 is still worth a point.

Up Next: AFC Wimbledon vs Cheltenham in the FA Cup second round on Sunday at 4am (NZT)

Chris Wood - Burnley FC (English Premier League)

Game postponed... alright then. Burnley were supposed to be playing Tottenham but Antonio Conte’s men got a reprieve from having to deal with the menace of Chris Wood and Friends. Looks fair enough based on the pictures although it can’t have been too bad because Sean Dyche was wandering around without a jacket on. Luckily it’s not much of a wait for the next game with midweek fixtures coming up.

Speaking of Sean Dyche, here are some nice words he had to say about Chris Wood after his fiftieth Premier League goal last week:

“I still think there’s more to his game, but he does have that knack of scoring a goal. He finds a goal for us, as well as being in the right place at the right time. His movement is good, and he’s got that something extra when he’s really on it, which I like. It's not easy to score that many in the Premier League, especially at a club like this, so fair play to him.”

Up Next: Wolves vs Burnley on Thursday at 8.30am (NZT)

Joel Stevens & Francis De Vries – IFK Värnamo (Swedish Superettan)

IFK Värnamo kinda limped to the finish line with a couple of losses coming out of the international window (where Francis De Vries made his All Whites debut) but that doesn’t matter because they were already champs and had already secured promotion. Still, here are the final standings. De Vries ends with 28 appearances (23 starts) with 1 goal and 4 assists. Stevens ends with 21 appearances (12 starts) for 2 goals. Hopefully they’re both around for an Allsvenskan campaign in 2022.

Up Next: Back to back promotions, might as well celebrate

If you rate the kiwi footy yarns, or anything that we write, support our work on Patreon if you can

Also whack an ad, sign up to our ripper Substack, and tell a mate about us

Keep cool but care