Chris Wood - Burnley FC (English Premier League)

The Woodsman has a surprisingly decent record away against Manchester United of late. In fact Burnley as a team always seem to play well at Old Trafford these days. They’d gone four games in a row without defeat at that ground dating back to February 2015 when they last lost there – three draws and a win. Chris Wood scored in the two most recent of them so a goal here would make him the sixth player to score in three consecutive away games against Manchester United in the Premier League era. He’d also be setting some club history too as the first dude since 1976 to score in three straight away games in the top flight for Burnley.

Of course his goal-scoring abilities at Old Trafford go back further than that. He scored at the so-called Theatre of Dreams way back in 2012 for New Zealand at the London Olympics (yes, the London Olympics featured football in Manchester and plenty other places). He got the goal in a 1-1 draw against Egypt. The scorer for the opponents that day? Some joker called Mo Salah. Wonder what ever happened to him.

It took him a mere 13 seconds to get the ball in the back of the net against Man United this time. Thirteen seconds. Starting up front in a 4-5-1, with Jack Cork returning for extra midfield numbers leaving Woody without his new mate Matej Vydra, who was on the bench, an early pump into the mixer by Matt Lowton was met by Chris Wood’s noggin with the keeper rushing out and that left an empty net for the big man’s effort to bundle into. But as rapid as that goal was it was just as quickly overruled because Woody was offside. Correct call... but replays showed it was pretty bloody tight..

His foot offside by an inch when his head was the only thing that touched the ball. Ah well.

In the 13th minute, Wood angled in from the left on the break and his low driven shot was saved by Dean Henderson. In the 31st minute a ball in from Lowton was headed on the run by Wood only he put it wide. There was also a stretching low volley off target sliding towards the far post after a James Tarkowski flick-on, in which he took out Henderson who needed a little treatment, but Wood was offside so it would not have counted. Meanwhile Man United had the majority of the ball, the majority of the territory... yet they didn’t look especially like they were gonna break down the Claret wall any time soon. Edinson Cavani had to be subbed on at half-time to give them a bit more movement up front.

Chris Wood got a few shots off from distance which were blocked by Harry Maguire during the second half. He also flipped in another header but the play had already stopped for an earlier offside. Less of an impact in the second half overall though, and that’s because unfortunately the Cavani thing ended up making a huge difference. United were much slicker with a genuine centre forward out there and it also meant Marcus Rashford could slide out to the left where he absolutely skinned Matt Lowton before setting up Mason Greenwood for the opening goal in the 48th min. Bruno Fernandes with a delicious dummy in there too. Hold the horses a sec though because amazingly Burnley equalised almost immediately through James Tarkowski. Header from a corner kick. 1-1 and Burnley back on course for another Old Trafford draw.

All a matter of whether they could hold on under the inevitable pressure. They could not. It took until the 84th minute but another Mason Greenwood shot took a large deflection on its way in and put the Red Devils on top before Cavani wrapped it up in injury time from a silky counter attack. Again: ah well. With Newcastle beating West Ham, Burnley are now the closest team to the relegation zone. Six points clear. Gotta win another one from somewhere.

Up Next: Sunday at 11pm away to Wolves (NZT)

Meikayla Moore – Liverpool (English Championship)

Meikayla always keeps it real.

A 1-0 defeat against Leicester meant that the Reds were edged out of the FA Cup in the fourth round by a Championship rival (for now at least – Leicester City are on their way to the WSL via imminent promotion). The Foxes had more of the ball to begin with, working a few shots which didn’t lead to a whole lot – although there was a downward header that bounced up like a tennis ball off the artificial turf and onto the crossbar. Liverpool then came into it more as the game progressed but it remained scoreless well into the second half. Natasha Flint had a great chance for Leicester that she lifted over the keeper but wide.

But as is often the case in these close games, it wasn’t a moment of glory but a mistake that proved the difference. Under pressure in the midfield, Jade Bailey lobbed a ball back to the keeper Rachael Laws. Laws passed wide to Meikayla Moore who had multiple players pressing upon her so she went back to the Laws again to clear. Except she didn’t clear it. She took a touch and was dispossessed and Hannah Cain slotted into an empty net. Lucy Parry did have a chance to level up late on but her shot was well saved. 1-0 to Leicester and that was that for Liverpool’s cup run. Highlights on FA Player.

Plenty more FA Cup football where that came from, however no other NZers to mention. Erin Nayler was an unused sub for Reading against Tottenham with Ria Percival still out injured, Spurs winning that tie with an extra time goal for the 3-2 result. Jess Naz did the honours three minutes into the bonus section. So Tottenham advance there while Katie Rood didn’t play as Lewes fell 2-1 to Southampton, a lower tier team but one on the rise with added investment in their women’s side. Less of an upset than it looks though still a stink one. Rachel Panting scored the winner in the 78th minute – she had a brief spell at Lewes a little while back. Roodie actually had a crack in the commentary box instead, how good.

Up Next: Monday at 1am away to Sheffield United (NZT)

Noah Billingsley – Minnesota United (American Major League Soccer)

In the days before the MLS season kicked off we had a transfer. A transfer out of the MLS but that’s okay because it’s only temporary as Noah Billingsley, same as he did last year, will spend the 2021 season with a USL team. He’s joined Phoenix Rising on loan and that means forming a very exciting kiwi defensive trio alongside James Musa and Deklan Wynne who have also each signed with the Rising ahead of this season. Wynne after being released by Colorado Rapids, Musa rejoining his old club following a year at Minnesota Utd with Billingsley.

Well, partly with Billingsley as NB played nine games on loan with Las Vegas Lights in 2020 following preseason with the Loons. He then went back to his parent club at the end of the USL term and made his MLS debut off the bench in the final regular season game. All things going well, we could see James Musa at centre-back with Billingsley on the right and Wynne on the left. Phoenix Rising are traditionally one of the strongest clubs in the USL too.

This transfer was a bit of a poorly kept secret by the way, Noah Billingsley actually played a preseason friendly for the Rising the previous week under the name: ‘Trialist #12’. Ha!

Noah Billingsley: “When I learned I was going to Phoenix Rising, I was ecstatic. It’s such a good club with a rich history. I knew the football would be great because I played against Phoenix three times last year and got smashed every time. It’s strange coming from such a small country and having two other guys from Wellington here already. We get along great with everyone. James [Musa] and Deklyn [Wynne] are great guys. Having them here to settle me in has been fantastic... I’m quite physical. I like to run a lot and work hard. I played striker my whole career and then transitioned to right back my senior year at UC Santa Barbara. I was drafted as a right back, but I still have some things to learn on the defensive side. I do feel that it helps that I’ve played striker as well.”

After a 2020 stacked with kiwi men in the USA leagues, which didn’t always correlate with those guys getting minutes on the park (as Deklan Wynne can certainly attest – he didn’t play a single proper game last year), there’s been a culling in 2021. Just the three guys left at MLS teams (Michael Boxall, Bill Tuiloma & Elliot Collier) while aside from this USL trio the only others as it stands are Kyle Adams and Max Mata both at Real Monarchs. The USL kicks off in a couple more weeks.

Up Next: Phoenix Rising vs San Diego Loyal at 2pm on 1 May, first game of the new season (NZT)

Bill Tuiloma – Portland Timbers (American Major League Soccer)

That right there was Bill Tuiloma getting a spare couple minutes at the very end of Portland’s CONCACAF Champions League second leg win over Marathón (Honduras). A 2-2 draw in the first leg had left things delicately poised but then Portland smoked them 5-0 in the second leg at home so no dramas. Yimmi Chara scored a hat-trick while Tui came on at the end for the closeout. Didn’t really get to do anything but a nice cameo given he’d been an unused sub in the first leg.

As to why they’re there in the first place, that’s because if you cast your mind back far enough they were MLS Is Back Tournament Champions and that came with a Champions League ticket. So there you go. They’ll face Mexico’s América in the quarters coming up the week after this one.

Following which they got their domestic campaign underway with... a 1-0 defeat to Vancouver Whitecaps.

Not the best. Lucas Cavallini scored the only goal a few mins into the second half. Unmarked at the back post and that’ll do it. Portland named an unchanged team from both the Champions League games – injuries are limiting their options at the moment. Portland had the edge on first half chances but didn’t get anything to show for it then came on strong in the last half hour but still weren’t able to score. Vancouver had a goal awarded then taken off for an offside with about nine minutes left.

Tuiloma got a little bit more time on this occasion albeit not much, subbed on in the 85th minute in a strange one... he replaced attacking midfielders Diego Valeri as part of a double sub, Valeri not a happy chappy at that. Though Billy T played central defence when he came on so not his fault. He did have one half chance from a free kick swung to him deep but he couldn’t quiet head it back across, hitting the side-netting instead. Disappointing start to the league season as the Timbers had the chances to get something out of that one but the good thing about game one is that there’s a whole lot more football to come.

Up Next: Sunday at 2.30pm against Houston Dynamo (NZT)

Michael Boxall – Minnesota United (American Major League Soccer)

Heavy is the arm that wears the armband, as the saying famously goes. Ozzie Alonso was only on the bench and he’s the regular club captain so Boxy it was to do the honours. Not for the first time either... granted this was one he’d sooner forget as despite a relatively even game in terms of most stats, somehow the Loons managed to lose 4-0 to Seattle Sounders.

They have a terrible record against the Sounders, this made it eight games against them and they’ve never won. Yet the first half was really good. Apart from a sneaky handball that led to a penalty midway through, which Dayne St Clair brilliantly saved off Raul Ruidiaz, they largely blunted the Seattle attack and when they could get the ball to Manny Reynoso they were always a chance. He set Robin Lod up for one which Lod struck off the near post.

But then Joao Paulo scored a screamer of a volley in the 49th minute and that changed everything. A genuinely amazing goal... granted Minny very nearly equalised immediately as Brent Kallman headed towards goal from a Reynoso free kick but it was hacked off the line by a defender. Ruidiaz then scored in the 70th min as some average defence on the left led to a cut-back. Then it got rather ugly. Ruidiaz scored again in the 73rd, tapping in from close after similar defensive dramas, and with five minutes left Fredy Montero side-footed in a volley from a deep cross for four.

For some perspective after a lost football match, though...

Elsewhere in the MLS, Elliot Collier missed Chicago Fire’s opening round 2-2 draw with New England Revolution – they were 2-0 up after a dozen minutes but couldn’t maintain the pace – with a left ankle injury that had been bothering him in the latter stages of preseason. One of a couple guys that the Fire were without for that one. It’s understood that Collier will miss the first month of the season as he recovers... guts.

Up Next: Minny vs Real Salt Lake at midday on Sunday (NZT)

Ali Riley - Orlando Pride (American National Women’s Soccer League)

So you know how Ali Riley got her leg mashed in a dirty challenge last week? Well it might have only been a yellow card at first but the disciplinary committee got to it eventually...

Thankfully the damage was mostly just cosmetic, as they say, and Ali Riley was able to get another ninety minutes in at left back against the team now known as Gotham FC (formerly Sky Blue). The Pride made a quick start with a few low crosses into the area causing a threat. Then came some confusion as Konya Plummer played a cross back to Ashlyn Harris to pick up only the ball had bobbled off her arm leading to a penalty. Harris saved it off Naiomi Kawasumi though. Top work.

Riley then had some flashbacks to last week as she was hit hard-ish in a challenge by Erika Skroski leading to the first yellow card of the evening. Sydney Leroux would have a couple chances later in the half, as well as nearly setting one up, as Orlando got a few things going and Gotham did threaten from range a couple times but it was starting to look like the two keepers were gonna be too good to be beaten. Then in the 79th minute a ball in behind for Ifeoma Onumonu was too much for Ali Riley to catch up with. She was half a step behind Onumonu who drilled a lovely low cross into the area which Paige Monaghan popped up to tap in what would prove to be the winner. So that was dumb. Riley was the only Footy Fern in NWSL Challenge Cup action this week. Rosie White was an unused sub for OL Reign in a 0-0 draw with Houston Dash.

Hey but how about this for a Footy Ferns podcast combination...

Up Next: Washington Spirit at home on Thursday at 11am (NZT)

Liberato Cacace – Sint-Truiden (Belgian Pro League)

And with that, Libby Cacace’s first season in Europe is finished. A 1-0 defeat to Anderlecht means it ended in slightly dull fashion though it was a much better performance than the 4-0 loss to Genk in the previous game. Anderlecht needing to avoid defeat to make the Champions League qualifying spots, coming in on a three game winning streak (fair play to gaffer Vincent Kompany), yet although they dominated most of the match they had some proper trouble finding a goal to show for it all.

Cacace had a difficult moment dealing with a swirling deep ball that he allowed to bounce on halfway and a striker dashed through with a touch in front of him, luckily the shot ended up off target. Drama avoided. Towards the end of the half STVV had a couple moments with balls over the top and runners into the box but nothing came of them, Cacace also had a shot blasted high around the same time. Then it was back to the usual process with Anderlecht shooting often but shooting off target. Right up until the 79th minute when a bad pass out of the back led to a quick string of passes and then in-form Yari Verschaeren swept it in for the only goal.

STVV kinda phoned it in after securing top flight safety a couple games back, understandably given what a slog that was. They had a couple tricky games at the end too. But all good. After struggling through the Kevin Muscat days they were well off the pace but Peter Maes turned things around when he re-joined the club as manager and they’ve ended up seven points clear of the drop zone in the end with 38 points from 34 matches.

Cacace wasn’t available for the very start of that season as he was eased in but once he cracked the starting team it was steady as she goes, mate. The only subsequent game he missed was because of suspension. Barely missed a minute of action. In fact despite not playing in any of the first six games, he finished with STVV’s second most league minutes played (2424 min from 27 apps), trailing only top-scorer Yuma Suzuki. 0 goals, 2 assists, 5 yellow cards. He also had one cup appearance. Pretty fantastic consistency from a 20 year old New Zealander making the step up. The next thing is for him to begin adding more goals and assists to his tally. No pressure.

Up Next: Boring old offseason yarns

Logan Rogerson - HJK Helsinki (Finnish Veikkausliiga)

Nothing too fancy here, it was only a friendly game and there was a mostly rotated eleven involved as HJK continue to build towards the start of the league season (following on from a couple of comprehensive cup victories to take them into the final of the Suomen Cup)... but there was a significant moment with about ten minutes left when Logan Rogerson was subbed on for his first game in an HJK jersey. Not an official debut but still a milestone.

HJK won 4-0 against AC Oulu with three of the goals having been scored before half-time (and the fourth straight after it) so unsurprisingly by the time Rogerson got out there things had descended into a casual kick-around as teams awaited the final whistle. You only get a look at him from a distance on those highlights. The coach did say when Rogerson signed that they’d ease him in... but still this was an important step for him. Good to see. He also later played the first half of an academy game against FC Honka a few days later. Slowly getting those reps up.

Of course, Nikko Boxall is the other kiwi involved in the Finish top flight. He got ninety minutes with a yellow card in the Suomen Cup quarter final defeat against Inter Turku a couple weeks back – the same team that HJK would beat 4-0 in the semis.

Up Next: First game of the league season is at home to FC Honka at midnight on Anzac Day morning (NZT)

Nik Tzanev – AFC Wimbledon (English League One)

Something weird is happening: all of a sudden the Dons have figured out how to score goals. Following on from the sudden 5-1 win over Accrington Stanley last week, AFCW took on Ipswich and could hardly have asked for a better first half. Will Nightingale put them in the lead in the 21st minute with a stonking header from a corner, then Jack Rudoni found a pocket of space to head in from seven yards out in the 25th. Then it got even crazier as Josh Harrop was sent off for Ipswich after a late, lunging tackle that had tempers flaring.

A huge game for both teams, Wimbledon trying to avoid relegation and Ipswich trying to make the playoffs, and already it was 2-0 with the other team down to ten men. Dreamland situations for Wimbledon... although let it be known that Tzanev did have to make one sharp save down low at his near post while it was still 0-0. Eventually Ryan Longman added a third goal (86’) and there you go. The closest Ipswich got to scoring was a header over the top at the back post in the second half, Tzanev happy to see it over as he kept his third clean sheet in his ninth league start this season.

As for his tenth, that was against fellow stragglers Swindon Town who came to visit and it went almost as well. There were a couple early scares where Nik Tzanev had to keep himself big to block a shot in close then the follow-up was looped off the crossbar and into his grateful grasp. But then Jack Rudoni drew a foul running into the Swindon box and Joe Pigott converted the 20th minute penalty. Sent the keeper the wrong way. An excellent Will Nightingale header from a curling free kick into the area, which found him pretty much unmarked, doubled that lead six minute later and from there the Dons were in control.

They’d make it three just before the half was out as Ayoub Assal accidentally blocked a shot by teammate Ollie Palmer only to realise the keeper was committed and he now had an open goal from about two yards out that he dutifully polished off. Nice for him after he missed a sitter rounding the keeper then hitting the crossbar a little while earlier (he also hit the bar again in the second half). Pigott would score his second of the arvo early second half and the only bummer was that Tzanev couldn’t keep his sheet clean, given little chance by Tyler Smith’s shot after another Swindon effort had rapped the bar and fallen to him.

No worries, a 4-1 win makes it three in a row at a perfect time. All that relegation negativity and then a run of wins surges them towards comfort – five points clear of the drop zone with a game in hand. 12 goals in their last three games which is as many as they scored in the previous seventeen matches in all comps.

Up Next: 6am on Weds vs Oxford Town then 2am on Sunday away to Ipswich in a rematch (NZT)

Tommy Smith – Colchester United (English League Two)

What’s this, Colchester won as well!? Happy days indeed.

They actually conceded first against Walsall with James Clarke poking in at the back stick twenty minutes into proceedings. Smith was the marker who lost track of him. But while that was a dud note, the U’s swung this game on its axis in the ten mins before the break. First Michael Folivi was in the right place at the right time after some tenacious work from Frank Nouble had led to him striking off the post. Folivi was barely ten centimetres off the line to score. Then in stoppage time Ryan Clampin whacked a sweet volley and yeah get in there, mate. No less than they deserved after plenty of chances in that half. Uncharacteristic but okay.

Smithy nearly got one himself leaning out on a ball touched across goal but he couldn’t quite reach it. Didn’t matter. Colchester were always the more likely team to score next and although they didn’t manage that they still got the 2-1 victory which gives them a six point buffer to the drop zone with four games left to play. And they play one of those teams, Southend, in the midweek. It’s not over yet... but this win puts them in a fantastic position and another three points in the midweek would all but do it. Needless to say ‘twas a full game for Smithy.

Up Next: Colchester vs Southend on Wednesday at 6am, then Cheltenham vs Colchester on Sunday at 2am (NZT)

Sarpreet Singh - Bayern Munich II (German Liga 3)

Sarpreet Singh followed his penalty goal against Ingolstadt last week with the start against Hansa Rostock, logging 84 mins before he was replaced in BM2’s final substitution... but he wasn’t able to spark a result as the lads went down 1-0 to a 45th minute John Verhoek goal, despite a couple agonisingly close calls.

He had a decent crack in the first half running onto a loose ball in the box and absolutely smashing it towards goal but the keeper was in the right spot to palm it away. Would have stung for sure. However a lot of the play happened behind him as BM2 had a lot of possession but turned it over cheaply a few times too often and thus left themselves exposed at the back. It was a chance like that which led to the goal. Verhoek’s finish on the spin was nice from about thirty metres out but he had an open goal to shoot into after keeper Ron-Thorben Hoffmann rushed out and didn’t win the ball.

Into the second half and it was Singh’s turn to almost but not quite do the trick again. Drifting back across the edge of the area onto his left foot trying to find room to shoot, he ripped a thumper off the crossbar. Bugger. He also got utterly crunched on about the hour mark as he tried to get out on the counter and Lukas Scherff got a deserved yellow for that tackle. Scherff would eventually be sent off for a second bookable offence right at the end... but that happened with no time left for Bayern to take advantage. A 1-0 defeat still has them very much in relegation trouble, they’re ahead of Kaiserslautern only via goal difference with six games remaining. But on the plus side, this was as influential as Sarpreet Singh has been since he returned to the club. Could be huge for them over those six games.

Up Next: Zwickau vs BMW, Wednesday at 5am (NZT)

Hannah Wilkinson – MSV Duisburg (German Bundesliga)

Another relegation bummer here as survival is looking an increasingly distant prospect for the Zebras. Away against Turbine Potsdam, they conceded in the fourth minute thanks to Selina Cerci. Keeper came out, didn’t get the ball, and Cerci finished smoothly despite pressure from a defender and angling away from goal. The empty net helped too, tbf. That left them with 86 minutes to score at least once, ideally multiple times, but comebacks are tough when you’re the bottom team and things aren’t going your way.

Wilkinson had one big chance in the second half running off the right side of another striker and her low shot was heading in across the keeper but it didn’t quite have the power and was saved on the dive. Alina Angerer also had a shot just wide from the edge of the box. Other than that there was heaps of spirited football holding on against the Turbine Potsdam onslaught, keeping it to just the one against them, but one ended up being enough. 1-0 to TP. Duisburg are still six points adrift with only four games left... and they’re up against one of the title contenders next. Check out highlights of the Potsdam game here.

Up Next: Sunday/Monday at midnight, home vs Wolfsburg (NZT)

Michael Woud – Almere City (Dutch Eerste Divisie)

Make it three bummers in a row because that right there is Go Ahead Eagles celebrating a 3-0 win over Almere City. AC were favoured to get the win on the road, instead they failed to get a single one of their 18 shots on target against a very good defensive team, who were able to chip away with timely goals to Martijn Berden (20’), Sam Beukema (64’ pen) & Sam Hendriks (87’) and with that defeat it’s pretty bloody hard to imagine how Almere are gonna get automatic promotion. Six points back with four games to go... and it’ll be all over but the shouting if they lose to second-placed De Graafschap next week.

Instead they’re gonna have to do it the hard way through the playoffs, which they’ve already qualified for thanks to their record over the second quarter of the season. The Eerste Divisie is weird like that - but they’ll wanna hold on to a fourth placing or whatever to go straight into the second round to make things a tad easier. Not that any of that’ll matter if they don’t turn their form around. By the way, the keeper for Go Ahead Eagles, Jay Gorter, broke a division record with his 23rd clean sheet of the campaign in that game. Michael Woud is third on the list with 13 cleanies (from 34 games).

Up Next: De Graafschap vs Almere, Saturday at 7am (NZT)

Joel Stevens & Francis De Vries – IFK Värnamo (Swedish Superettan)

Annoyingly all the good videos/highlights from the Superettan have gone behind a paywall this year which makes trying to follow this league extremely awkward given that most of the newspapers there are behind paywalls too. Only way we’re getting around those barriers is with a massive multiplication of our Patreon support (get in here, the Patron-only bonus pod is awesome), so might not be as much coverage of these fellas as we want to be able to offer. So it goes.

However we can tell ya that Värnamo had a lovely win against Sundsvall. Joel Stevens started on the wing as Alhassan Kamara gave them a 23rd minute lead after some scrappy stuff in the box. Sundsvall are expected to be one of the stronger clubs in this division, hoping to challenge for promotion up against a team here that only just got promoted, and they equalised midway through the second half thanks to substitute Johan Bengtsson. Stevens was replaced soon after that though Francis De Vries came on with ten minutes to play... putting him in prime position to witness Robin Dzabic score an injury time winner. Right on.

Falkenbergs also responded to a week one loss by winning in their second game. A 1-0 triumph away to IK Brage with Tobias Karlsson scoring the goal five minutes before half-time. Matt Garbett wasn’t in the squad.

Up Next: Sunday at 1am vs Brage (NZT)

The Ole Academy Fellas – Torslanda IK (Swedish Division 2 Norra Götaland)

Further down the Swedish ladder we’ve got the two latest additions to the Ole x Torslanda Project…

Josh Rogerson and Ryan Feutz. Each played for Eastern Suburbs during the last Premiership season, Feutz starring a couple times with his skill and directness from the wing (including a hat-trick against the WeeNix) and Rogerson looking a very tidy defensive prospect who played at CB and at CDM.

It’s been an up and down thing in terms of results since Ole Academy got that link going. There’s been a relegation, though they were promoted back up to the second division last year (fourth tier)... not that they’d be caring too much about results. It’s been the case the last few years that the better performing Western Suburbs guys have gone to Torslanda as the next step in their careers so now Rogerson and Feutz are in on that unique little scholarship-of-sorts. The season’s been delayed for another few weeks there so a bit of time to adjust. Last year Dom Woolridge, Harry Moss-Edge, and Owen Parker-Price were all there. Nando Pijnaker went through Torslanda. Information is hard to come by at the lower levels in Sweden so will see which of those lads are still there (potentially all of them) when things kick off next month.

Up Next: Game one is vs Tord on 9 May at midnight (NZT)

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