Liberato Cacace – Empoli (Italian Serie A)

Never will get tired of this sight…

Liberato Cacace doing his thing in Serie A, rocking that Empoli jersey as he does every second week. It was his turn again as Empoli travelled to face Udinese. Cacace at left-back. Empoli seeking to address their blatant lack of wins in recent months. And unfortunately they conceded an own goal in just the seventh minute of the match as Ardian Ismajli hacked a cross into his own net.

Other than that it was okay. Empoli had some solid possession and Cacace clearly had a directive to play higher up the pitch than he has in recent weeks, not holding back as a consolidatory passing option but really trying to push the Udinese wide men deeper. However this is an Empoli team with very limited attacking success of late and the two men up front mostly just wanted to go in-off thus not a lot was happening. We got some good defensive stuff from Cacace but the ball wasn’t really going his way in attack. The Azzurri simply not patient enough.

Udinese weren’t creating much either to be fair, though they did have that gift of a lead which took the pressure off them and in the 52nd minute old mate Gerard Deulofeu smacked in a second from 22 yards, low and hard, to really assert things. Empoli frustrations were clear, even leading to some biffo as Roberto Pereyra went down injured in the area with a few Empoli players not taking it too kindly (he was subbed off so no faking). Libby was amongst those yarning with the ref.

Then came a lifeline. 66 mins gone. Andrea La Mantia was clipped in the area for Empoli trying to recover a ball moving with his back to goal for a soft but completely unnecessary foul. Andrea Pinamonti stepped up to take the penalty... and missed. But Filippo Bandinelli got there (just ahead of Cacace) to tap in the seconds. However there was encroachment so they made Pinamonti take it again and this time he scored directly. Got there in the end. Immediately Empoli went to the bench with Cacace’s LB double Fabiano Parisi readied to enter the game... but for once it wasn’t for Cacace. Parisi went on further forward and the pair got to share the pitch for the first time.

Regrettably, Ignacio Pussetto finished one off for Udinese after a sharp give and go on 79’ to restore the two-goal lead and then Lazar Samardzic put the polish on near the end. 4-1 to Udi the final score. Empoli, incredibly, have still not won a game in 2022. 16 league games in a row without a three-pointer meaning that Cacace has still not yet experienced a win. Last time they won was a 1-0 away result against his hometown Napoli club back in mid-December... and as it happens they’re playing Napoli next. It’s Cacace’s turn to be on the bench for that one but maybe he’ll sneak on as a sub to so as to get a game against his boyhood club. Surely gotta have some sentimentality at this stage of the season, there’s little else to play for.

Up Next: Empoli vs Napoli, Monday at 1am (NZT)

Jacqui Hand - Åland United (Finnish Kansallinen Liiga)

Excellent news with young Footy Ferns forward Jacqui Hand popping up on a short term deal with Finland Kansallinen Liiga club Åland United. Hand finished up her years at Colorado College but was overlooked at the NWSL Draft (as was compatriot Daisy Cleverley), the latest in a long line of NZers underrated by American scouts, so it goes. But that’s alright, it just means a different path is all. And this one is pretty funky.

The Åland Islands are an autonomous region in Finland that is also sort of Swedish (Swedish is their national language). Seems complicated. But they play in the Finnish footy system and were in fact champions back in 2020 (also winning titles in 2013 & 2009). This season didn’t start too flash with a 4-2 loss to HJK and a 3-2 loss to KuPS but it’s early days yet.

The club did say that Hand would be available for selection this weekend if needed but that she (obviously) hadn’t had much time to get integrated yet. No shocker then that that didn’t end up coming to pass. Fellow signing Netta Hanhimäki did pop up for a debut off the bench but Hand will have to wait ‘til next week. Did presumably get a convenient seat in the stands to see her team smoke NJS 7-0 to get get their season moving after that initial stalling. Kit Loferski scored a hatty.

Interesting that Hand has only signed until the end of June. She’ll get a maximum of nine games before that deal runs up. Why only until June? Well, the Finnish league breaks for a month at that point so there is a natural split in play. Could be that she has another gig lined up after that, seeing that most European clubs will be getting into preseason around then, or maybe everyone’s just being cautious. It’s not like she can’t just sign an extension if everything goes swell.

Whatever the deal is, Hand has impressed for the national team on recent tours including scoring against South Korea so it’s a beautiful thing to see her stepping up into the pro grades. The more kiwis we have playing professionally the better the national team will become, especially forwards like Jacqui Hand (given the team’s lack of proclivity for scoring goals).

Up Next: HPS vs Åland on Saturday at 11pm (NZT)

Nando Pijnaker & Max Mata – Sligo Rovers (League of Ireland Premier Division)

After a 6-game unbeaten start to the LOI season, Sligo Rovers have dipped. Only taken two points from their previous four prior to this double-gameweek. But on the other hand the two kiwis are in lovely form and both were in the starting team to take on Dundalk away on Saturday morn NZT. Max Mata starting up from alongside top scorer Aidan Keena, Nando Pijnaker continuing his CB partnership with Garry Buckley.

It was a positive start from Sligo whose direct style of play with the two strikers holding up and bringing in the wide players was working smoothly. Mata had a decent chance a dozen minutes in as a shot deflected his way but as he turned on it the keeper had already closed him down and saved the effort. Keena should have done better with one that he lifted over an advancing keeper too. Yet at the same time Dundalk may have had less of the play but they still had equally potent chances. A header glanced past the post. A rocket shot saved from the left.

Thus 34 mins in the home team took the lead. Chipped cross to the far post and Sligo keeper Ed McGinty got a hand to it but not enough of a hand and instead of knocking it out he just guided it over the head of Buckley, who otherwise might have cleared it, and over to Dundalk forward Patrick Hoban and he put it away. 1-0 to Dundalk who grew massively in confidence with the lead and on 43 mins they scored again. Stephen Kelly with some great hold up play before slipping the ball through for Dan Kelly who buried it between the goalies legs. Bugger.

Rovers made a couple half-time subs and switched to a 4-3-3 shape with Keena moving wide right and Mata playing through the middle. Did it help? Eh, not particularly. They didn’t get any worse but they didn’t get much better either and open chances were at a minimum. We did get some of those soon-to-be trademarked raking long switches from Pijnaker and Mata’s hold-up play was quite impressive. But it just took them too long to get a breakthrough and despite a frisky last couple of minutes they ran out of time, going down 2-1. Although Max Mata scored the goal so that was cool. Beginning to make a habit of it now.

A few days later they took on Finn’s Harps in a local derby with both Mata and Pijnaker starting yet again... and happy to report that they finally got back to winning ways. Mata had himself a chance on the rebound early that was saved but he played a strong role in the goal that they scored midway through the first half. Some more of that lovely hold-up play to spread the ball wide for David Cawley as Rovers flooded forward. Cawley chipped the ball over the keeper but a defender hacked it off the line and into the post where it bounced back into either he or Max Mata closing down, hard to say. Definitely hit the defender second time around and as Mata appealed for a handball penalty Karl O’Sullivan was there to tap it in for 1-0, no spot kick necessary.

Another goal in which Mata was a prominent part, even if he wasn’t able to put it away himself. He’d end up being subbed on the hour mark after picking up a knock but Mata left the game to more strong reviews from the away fans here. Been excellent for Rovers in recent weeks and seems to be earning a proper starting gig. Anyway, that left half an hour to survive for the points and Nando Pijnaker and his mates were put under some genuine pressure towards the end of it. Survive they did though. 1-0 to Sligo Rovers to snap a five-game run without a win. Just what they needed.

Up Next: Sligo Rovers vs Drogheda on Sunday at 6.45am (NZT)

Ryan Thomas – PSV Eindhoven (Dutch Eredivisie)

Been a while since Ryan Thomas was last spotted on the pitch with the PSV lads. This wasn’t quite what it sounds like but he was still amongst the celebrations after the Eindhoven team won their tenth ever KNVB Cup with a 2-1 win over Ajax in the final.

PSV trailed 1-0 at the break. Ryan Gravenberch with the goal. But two goals in three minutes early in the second half for Erick Gutierrez (48’) and Cody Gakpo (50’) swung the game on its head. Ajax thought they’d equalised on 56’ but a marginal offside chalked that one off. Both teams had goals disallowed for narrow offsides in the first half. Ajax also hit the post on 58’... though PSV hit the post themselves late on. Crazy game, great atmosphere. PSV rode their luck at times but you need that in a cup final.

Ryan Thomas didn’t play in any of the rounds this season due to his injury however he did still get a medal so that’s cool. At least, he was pictured with one. To be fair he’s already won this comp before, scoring twice in the final for PEC Zwolle way back in 2013 in the game that really announced him within Dutch football circles. They made the final again a year later but lost. Turns out Thommo’s actually got a fantastic record in this competition.

Ryan Thomas was back in individual training a couple weeks ago, no fresh updates on that other than the (outgoing) coach Roger Schmidt repeatedly confirming that Thommo won’t be available ahead of each game since. He did say at the start of the month that he still held out hope of getting him back before the end of the season though. With only Eredivisie games remaining that prospect is slimmer now than it was a week ago (should also mention that PSV were knocked out of the Europa Conference League quarters by Leicester City last week) but might as well keep the candle burning.

There’s also a frisky situation going on with Thomas’ contract. This is the third of three years that he signed for, having missed the entire first season and about two-thirds of this one now. There has been some chat as to whether PSV might decide upon an early release to that contract which is apparently something that they have the option to do so long as they trigger it before the end of April. Any such decision has not been made yet and would probably require the input of incoming manager Ruud Van Nistelrooy. Alternatively they could just, you know... re-sign him?

BD.nl on April 4: “We hope [Philipp Mwene] can still play this season. That also applies to Ryan Thomas, who we want to get fit again in the coming weeks,” [says Roger Schmidt]. Thomas' expiring contract has not yet been cancelled by PSV. According to PSV, if the club would like to do so, this should be done before May 1 and not before April 1 because he is still active with PSV under his first contract.

Up Next: A return to full training would be nice...

Logan Rogerson & Ollie Whyte - FC Haka (Finnish Veikkausliiga)

Plenty of reason to be optimistic about what FC Haka can achieve in 2022 with two kiwis on the books and a run to the pre-season League Cup semi-finals in the bank. They only lost that semi-final on penalties to Inter Turku as well – the same club that they played this weekend.

Since then they’ve begun the Veikkausliiga campaign with a 2-1 win over Ilves, in which all the goals were scored in the first half, with Ollie Whyte starting and Logan Rogerson coming off the bench - they weren’t subbed for each other but they did both cross the turnstiles in opposite directions as part of a 68th minute double change. The same thing then happened again in the next match, a loss to Honka in which they were 3-0 down at HT. Manager wasn’t having that, making a triple change at the break including Whyte off, Rogerson on (though once more not directly for each other). Haka did improve after that but not quite enough, going down 3-2.

Bringing us to game three, the first in which Ollie Whyte hasn’t started – gonna assume an injury since he wasn’t even on the bench – yet one in which Logan Rogerson not only walked out there from the beginning... but also scored the opening goal in a 2-0 win against that same Inter Turku team that ended their League Cup run. Go on, son.

Up Next: Haka vs HIFK on Saturday at 3am (NZT)

Olivia Chance - Celtic FC (Scottish Premier League)

Returning from Footy Ferns duty, Liv Chance didn’t feature for Celtic in a routine 2-0 win over Partick Thistle (goals for Charlie Wellings on 31’ & 65’). Didn’t need to as the only games that truly matter now are the Scottish Cup semi-final in two weeks and fingers-crossed a final after that. The last thing that Celtic needed was for Chance to get injured in a mostly meaningless league match before that.

Nope, you need all your best players available for a semi-final and Liv Chance is certainly one of those: hence why she’s been shortlisted for Celtic Player of the Year. One of three players alongside Charlie Wellings and Jacynta Galabadaarachchi. The website refers to Chance as “a vital cog in the Celtic FC Women’s engine room this season”. Best yet its a public vote so follow the link in the tweet and get amongst it.

Up Next: Hamilton vs Celtic, Monday at 1am (NZT)

Michael Woud – Kyoto Sanga (Japanese J-League)

Pandemic travel yarns delayed Michael Woud’s entry into Japan by which time the season had already gotten well underway. That complication also meant he wasn’t able to take part in World Cup qualifying with the All Whites, although in the last couple of weeks he has been able to work his way onto the bench for Kyoto Sanga and now, finally, a League Cup group stage game last Wednesday NZT allowed him to make his club debut.

It didn’t start too flash as Woudy conceded twice inside twenty minutes against Consadole Sapporo. Made a good stop from a shot out in front for the first but the follow-up from his left side snuck under him in just the second minute. Didn’t have a hope at stopping the next one as an open header from a corner kick was guided inside a vacant far post.

But Sanga were back in it four mins later thanks to a thumping effort from Shimpei Fukuoka just within the area, a move begun by a Woud long ball forwards. That shrunk the match back into competitive areas. Then eventually they drew level when Quenten Martinus chipped one to the back stick for Keita Nakano to finish off in the 71st. And on 75’ Martinus curled in a beauty himself to put his team in front. What a comeback.

Consadole did have one great chance to tie it back up again as one of their strikers broke the defensive line late on but Woud rushed out and did just enough to force the shot off target, Kyoto Sanga enduring for the 3-2 win. Coming from 2-0 down to take the three points and go top of their Group C standings at the halfway point.

Naoto Kamifukumoto has been the number one keeper for Sanga to date, the 32 year old starting seven of their nine J-League games (including a 2-0 win over Kashiwa Reysol in the subsequent fixture) with 22yo Tomoya Wakahara filling in twice while Kamifukumoto was suspended after a red card. The previous two League Cup games saw Wakahara as well as fourth-choice Gakuji Ota split the starts so it’s a pretty bloody crowded goalkeeping room at this club, that’s for sure. It does appear that Woud is the second choice for now but with a few more of these cup games he should keep getting opportunities to stake his claim for firsties.

Up Next: The reverse cup fixture away to Consadole Sapporo at 10pm on Weds (NZT)

Chris Wood - Newcastle United (English Premier League)

Flying Kiwis Pub Quiz Time: Name every English football club that Chris Wood has played for. There are eleven of them and if you can actually list them all then you’ve probably cheated (answers at the bottom of this segment).

Point being that when Chris Wood comes up against one of his old clubs, it doesn’t quite have the same resonance as when other players do so. Maybe Leeds and Burnley, given his success there. But even Leicester City whom he played for on a permanent basis sorta slips by when that fixture comes along.

As it did this week, a convenient time to be playing the Foxes only a few days after they’d knocked PSV Eindhoven out of the Europa Conference League at the quarter-final stage... ruining any hope Ryan Thomas had of returning from injury to play in a European final. As such there were a few changes from Leicester yet up against a predictable Newcastle XI they still controlled a lot of the early ball, the Magpies instead looked to pump it forward quickly, trying to get a foothold in the game through Chris Wood’s physicality up front as is so often the case.

Leicester City scored first. A corner kick hit low to the near post where Ayoze Perez (former Newcastle player) flicked it back behind him towards the penalty spot where Ademola Lookman pounced to strike home the opener in the 18th minute. No less than they deserved at that moment.

Newcastle simply didn’t have their usual polish, struggling for any kinds of chances, but they did get the ball into the net on 30’ as Bruno Guimaraes hacked the ball through Kasper Schmeichel’s legs after a Dan Burn corner kick header. Both Schmeichel and Guimaraes were on the ground, Bruno needing three hacks to get at it, and since Schmeichel didn’t have it in his hands it was fair play. There was also a question of a foul by Burn but after the ref initially disallowed it, a peek at the VAR screen led to the goal being awarded after all. What a strange situation.

Crazy what a difference a goal can make. Now Newcastle looked confident. Chris Wood wanted a penalty on 34’ running onto a loose ball in the area and claiming that Çağlar Söyüncü had chopped him down. VAR had a look but didn’t get involved. He had a header on 41’ too, powered wide at the near post after Joelinton had run into the area down the left. Couldn’t quite guide it under pressure from Söyüncü.

They didn’t want the first half to end. Sure enough, the Foxes did benefit from an opportunity to steady things with the break and the second half was a more evenly balanced affair. Leicester were back to dominating the ball but Allan Saint-Maximin still got plenty of chances to stretch his legs for the Toon (albeit with precious little that came back into the middle for Chris Wood to work with, other than those long balls from the back).

Leicester were also able to go to the bench to chuck on dangerous blokes like James Maddison, Harvey Barnes, and Kelechi Iheanacho, leading to Eddie Howe doing something curious: he subbed off Chris Wood with twenty to play. First time he’s been subbed with the game in the balance, ASM moved through the middle instead for a different point of attack.

It didn’t really make a difference and ASM himself was subbed at the onset of stoppage time. Leicester couldn’t break them down despite some promising spells. The game was fading out into historical obscurity. Then four minutes into stoppage time Joe Willock made a great run up the left wing and his cut-back was deflected into the path of Bruno Guimaraes whose diving header guided it home for a stunning late winner out of absolutely nothing. A double for the Brazilian midfielder. Decent signing, that dude. 2-1 to Newcastle final score and incredibly, with 37 points and six games left to play, they’re only three points off Leicester City for ninth now.

[Pub Quiz answer: West Brom, Barnsley (loan), Brighton (loan), Birmingham (loan), Bristol City (loan), Millwall (loan), Leicester (loan then permanent), Ipswich (loan), Leeds, Burnley, Newcastle]

Up Next: Newcastle vs Crystal Palace at 6.45am on Thursday, then away to Norwich at 2am Sunday (NZT)

Matthew Garbett – Torino (Italian Serie A)

On the bench once more, second game in a row. The broadcasters still can’t get his name right on the teamsheet as they continue to assume that #18 means Denis Stojkovic even though he’s not even at the club any more but maybe it’ll be third time lucky on that count. Here’s proof from the club’s official website just in case you think this is all some sort of long con...

Garbett didn’t feature as Torino drew 1-1 away to Lazio, a last minute Ciro Immobile equaliser for the hosts costing them the win, however he’s closer than ever to that debut and without much to play for over the remaining games of the season there’s every chance of a wee cameo.

Up Next: Home to Spezia on Sunday at 1am (NZT)

Niko Kirwan – Calcio Padova (Italian Serie C)

The big one. Second to last game of the season up against the team they just beat for the Serie C Cup, knowing that a win would send them ahead of their rivals and into first place with that lone automatic promotion spot entirely within their own control. It was Calcio Padova away to Südtirol and...

... it ended nil-all.

Full game for Niko Kirwan who actually played on the right side of the back three rather than at wing-back where he’s more accustomed. Did well on 65’ to keep his offside trap straight as Südtirol put the ball in the net only for the flag to go up. In a very feisty game with plenty on the line, Padova probably did create more chances though plenty of them were just hopeful long shots or set pieces.

Still, with quarter of an hour they very nearly scored from a corner kick deflected on target by a defender only for the Südtirol to make a remarkable (if mostly unaware) save tipping the ball onto the frame of the goal. Then an even better save, which he did know about, from a downwards header later on. A draw was as inconsequential as a loss for Padova so they straight-up went for it. Threw guys forward and won corner after corner. But the Südtirol defence held on for that vital point.

Unless Südtirol drop points next week, it’s gonna have to be the dreaded Serie C playoffs for Padova. Niko Kirwan has made it through that maze before though back with Reggiana, plus as a second-placed finisher in their section of the league Padova would go straight through until the second national round (skipping the prelims and the first round) which does drastically help. Effectively means they enter at the quarter-final stage.

For context, last season while Kirwan was playing Serie B with Reggiana, Padova finished second in their conference based on head to head record (tied on points with Perugia but losing out 3-2 on H2H aggregate after a win apiece). Then they lost on penalties in the playoff final to Alessandria. As close as it can possibly get without being promoted on two separate fronts in the same season. Damn.

Up Next: Padova vs Virtus Verona, Monday at 12.30am (NZT)

Erin Nayler - Umeå IK (Swedish Damallsvenskan)

Choice little interview with Erin Nayler in there at around the 8:30 mark of the vid. The whole thing is a feature on Umeå, presumably filmed before the season began, in which they talk to a bunch of people at the club and their kiwi goalie is one of them. It’s in English, don’t worry. Nayler talks about settling into the team, the 2023 World Cup, and goalkeeping communication amongst other things. Good chat.

There was a sneaky bit of revenge for Erin Nayler this week. After the Footy Ferns lost both friendlies to the Matildas, Nayler returned to her club in Sweden where she immediately helped them to a first win of the new season (at the third attempt) with a clean sheet in a surprise 4-0 win over Vittsjö. Goals for Anna Björk (7’ & 41’), Sarah Mellouk (62’ pen), and Henna-Riikka Honkanen (80’) doing the business. The reason for the revenge? Aussie Clare Polkinghorne was in the backline for Vittsjö, who have also signed Katrina Gorry who is expected to join them shortly.

Up Next: Thursday at 5am away to KIF Örebro, then Sunday at 11pm away to Hammarby (NZT)

Michael Boxall – Minnesota United (American Major League Soccer)

There was a much-needed Loons win this weekend. As well as a solid Michael Boxall performance within it. Just what we like to see. They were up against the Colorado Rapids and mate there were definitely some slippery moments. Goalie Dayne St Clair had to be at his best on more than a couple occasions while Boxy was his wily veteran self in busting up a couple counters with fouls and somehow still avoiding a yellow card.

Colorado were briefly reduced to ten in the first half... but only for long enough for the VAR to tell the ref to step off and convert it back to a yellow card instead. Then Bakaye Bibassy and Diego Rubio traded goals in the final few minutes of the stanza. Dibassy heading in from a Manny Reynoso cross which probably should’ve been saved but then Dibassy was then the accidental villain for Rubio’s goal, intervening with the cross despite Rubio being offside behind him and the VAR decided that it was a deliberate defensive act and thus Rubio had been played back onside. Not sure that’s a fair judgement but regardless ‘twas 1-1 at the half.

The Rapids then had a fantastic fifteen minute period during which St Clair made a couple more saves and Rubio managed to both header one onto the crossbar and strike one onto the post. But they couldn’t find a way through and on 77’ old mate Robin Lod was where he needed to be to convert a low cross and three mins later Lod set up Abu Danladi for another goal as Minnesota won a tricky three points. 3-1 the final score.

Up Next: Midweek US Open Cup away to Forward Maddison on Thurs at 11am, then it’s home to Chicago Fire at 9am on Sunday (NZT)

Bill Tuiloma – Portland Timbers (American Major League Soccer)

We also got a good strong performance from Bill Tuiloma this week in helping Portland to a very valuable point with a 0-0 draw away to Houston Dynamo. Tough trip to Texas. Came away with a clean sheet. Almost won it in fact but no need to get greedy. Another example of Bill Tuiloma’s stretch of what has probably gotta be considered career-best form.

Houston began with a few great chances, POR keeper Steve Clark keeping his team in the mix early on, but things balanced out after that. Bill Tuiloma was up hunting attacking corners and went close to doing something on 20 mins but was called up for a foul. Lots of half chances, nothing too specific. Houston did have a header off a free kick tipped onto the post by Clark midway through the second half but that was about it. Then on 75 mins the Dynamo were reduced to ten, a game in which Portland seemed to be collecting yellows but the only fella for the home team who was booked managed to do so twice and thus Teenage Hadebe was off for an early shower.

Tuiloma was one of those booked. Stepped across an attacker with ten to play to stop the counter attack. Bit of six-of-one, half-a-dozen-of-the-other situation there as the attacker bowled into him but not the worst card to take given the scenario. He also had a couple late headers off corners trying to be the hero again by extending his recent goal scoring prowess... but got too much over the top of one and not enough over the other, neither very close in the end. No dramas. Take the nil-all draw.

Up Next: Portland vs Real Salt Lake, Sunday at 2pm (NZT)

Abby Erceg & Katie Bowen – North Carolina Courage (American National Women’s Soccer League)

The game’s kinda easy when you’re 3-0 up after ten minutes, aye? Makes Abby Erceg’s job in defence a lot easier at least. An own goal from a cross out right on 3’. A Jaelene Daniels goal from another low right wing cross on 6’. Then Taylor Smith charged into the box and smashed one in on 9’.

Not quite so easy after that though. Orlando Pride pulled one back on 15’ thanks to a great finish by Darian Jenkins after the NCC keeper gave the ball away to an attacker. That got the Courage heads back in the game however Jenkins turned one home on 55’ to spark a very real chance of a comeback... those dangerous 3-0 leads, mate.

But Erceg and team held them out and then Debinha scored a late counter attacking goal to make it 4-2 as a final score. Got sloppy after that incredible start but still got the points. No Katie Bowen, she was an unused sub for the fourth time out of five. If the Courage avoid defeat against Washington Spirit in their last Challenge Cup group stage game then they’ll finish top of the group.

As for the other kiwi in the NWSL, Ali Riley played about an hour for Angel City FC on return from Footy Ferns duty in a 2-1 defeat to OL Reign. It was 1-0 when she was subbed. Angel City equalised in the 84th minute then conceded a winner deep in stoppage time, bugger.

Up Next: NCC vs Washington Spirit on Sunday at 5am (NZT)

Joe Bell – Brøndby IF (Danish Superliga)

Another defeat. These Brøndby dudes just cannot catch a break, this time going down 1-0 at home to AaB thanks to a 33rd minute penalty. Keeper came sliding and cleaned out a fella. Louka Prip did the honours from the spot.

Thing is, this was otherwise a pretty dominant performance from BIF who had three times as many shots as AaB managed and 65% of the possession. Joe Bell had his best game in at least a month, doing all his defensive things whilst also hurling in more crosses into the box than anyone else on the park. Dude was trying to spark something, he only misplaced one pass in his own half across ninety minutes though took a heap more risks in the other half as the game required. But BIF’s finishing was as bad as it has been throughout this sudden drop in form. Make that four defeats in a row. Highlights here.

Following that they took on FC København in the Copenhagen Derby (hopefully when these two teams meet next season it’ll involve Joe Bell on one team and Marko Stamenic on the other) and that was no simple task, no sir/ma’am. FCK are probably gonna win the title and they had a massive home crowd in full-on hype mode for this (Bell slipped over off the ball at one point and the whole crowd cheered lol – at multiple other times the game had to be halted for flare smoke to clear). They played like champs-in-waiting too. BIF hardly had a touch over halfway until about eight mins in when Joe Bell rolled his man and slid a ball up the right wing into space.

Bellinho played at the base of a four-man midfield where he specifically tasked with winning possession, shielding the backline, and getting those early-possession passes flowing. With FCK bossing the ball, there weren’t too many moments of the latter but Bell did well and BIF were still locked at zeroes at the break. FCK with all the best chances but a few wasteful moments and some strong defence kept it even.

Alas, København broke through seven minutes into the second. Chipped ball deep into the area, squared back low, and Pep Biel showed great composure to pick his spot and score. Soon after BIF had missed a good chance up the other end too, always a tough cop when that happens. Anis Ben Slimani (aka Brøndby’s most creative player) had a couple moments to spark something back. A low Bellinho corner was flicked on and cleared at the near post. Meanwhile their goalie produced to supremely good saves to deny Khouma Babacar. Ah but then Biel whipped one in from range on 86’ and that was that. Brøndby went down 2-0. Five defeats in a row. Really good performance from Bell but his team was outmatched.

It’s not going much better for FC Helsingor down a division either. They were pumped 4-0 by Fredericia this weekend, Callum McCowatt and Eli Just both starting and being subbed off. That’s four straight defeats for FCH and this was the worst of the lot. To be fair, they’re starting a 19yo goalie with their usual in covid protocols but still this was a stunning result. Again FCH started positively but kinda crumbled after they conceded the first goal after 36 minutes. The only plus for the team after that was seeing Lyngby also lose which at least preserves their four point lead at the top with seven more playoff games remaining.

Up Next: Brøndby vs Midtjylland on Tuesday at 5am (NZT)

George Stanger – Dumbarton FC (Scottish League One)

Goal for George Stanger. Although they still lost 3-2 against Airdrieonians which means that they finished ninth out of ten teams in League One, a fact that’s now guaranteed with two games remaining. Eight points clear of last but seven points behind eighth... hence they’ll be taking on the fourth-placed team in League Two in the promotion/relegation playoff semi-finals as they attempt to preserve their place in the third tier. Stanger began by getting some right back minutes when he first joined the club but has seemingly locked in a starting CB spot in more recent weeks. This was his first goal for Dumbarton.

Up Next: Cove Rangers vs Dumbarton on Sunday at 2am (NZT)

Nik Tzanev – AFC Wimbledon (English League One)

Did AFC Wimbledon win a game this week? Tell you what, they started pretty smoothly as Sam Cosgrove scored with a wonderful left-footed strike 19 mins in after they’d turned the ball over high up the field. Cosgrove had a decent chance to add to that lead later in the half too and things were looking alright for them against Crew Alexandra... until Cosgrove played a terrible back-pass which ended with Nik Tzanev being rounded for the leveller. Two minutes later Crewe scored again, keeping the ball alive after hitting the crossbar, and then they added a third very late in stoppage to be sure of it. 3-1 to Crewe final score.

Then came another of those Dons specials. Wycombe at home on Easter Monday local time and they were 1-0 up for most of the game thanks to a 21st minute Jack Rudoni goal but as has happened countless times this season they were not able to hold on, conceding an 80th min equaliser to the big fella Adebayo Akinfenwa. Wycombe were well worth the leveller and in fact nearly won it afterwards, just lucky for Nik Tzanev being able to tip a shot from Sullay Kaikai wide of the frame. 1-1 final score. The winless streak is up to a shocking 25 games. They’re four points adrift of safety with two games remaining and the siren song of League Two is beckoning.

So, no, AFC Wimbledon did not win a game this week.

Up Next: Fleetwood vs Wimbledon on Sunday at 2am (NZT)

Tommy Smith – Colchester United (English League Two)

Nik Tzanev may well be going head to head with Tommy Smith in League Two because Colchester aren’t going anywhere. Thanks to All Whites duty, Smithy didn’t play for the U’s for a month but he was back in there for 90 mins in a 2-0 loss to Exeter and then more importantly got ninety more a few days later in a 3-0 win over Bradford City. Even set up the second goal.

Bradford were reduced to ten men in the second half (66’) though it was already 2-0 at that stage thanks to Myles Kenlock on 16’ and then Brendan Sarpong-Wiredu on 33’, finishing off after Smithy had headed a free-kick into his lap. Freddie Sears then curled in a killer in the 75th after the reddie. A convincing win which means that Colchester, officially, have avoided relegation with three games remaining. Get in there.

Up Next: Away to Newport on Saturday at 6.45am (NZT)

Elliot Collier - San Antonio (American USL Championship)

The only goal in a 1-0 win over El Paso and it was an EC beauty. People continue to look at Collier’s size and assume that he must be a target man centre-forward but this kinda dazzling run angling in from the left-wing, beating dudes with a stepover, is what the man is really about. Lovely goal. He’s now scored in three of his last four matches with San Antonio. He only ever scored 1 goal in 54 MLS appearances but he certainly knows where the net is at USL level.

Up Next: US Open Cup third round against MLS club Austin FC on Thurs at 12.30pm (NZT)

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