Bill Tuiloma – Portland Timbers (American Major League Soccer)

Whether he’s taking them or getting on the end of them, Bill Tuiloma is a set piece menace. The people must learn this. As Tui got the scoring underway for Portland Timbers against Sporting Kansas City in the 12th minute he took his tally to three already for the term... having also scored three times for the All Whites at the Oceania WCQs recently. Prior to this year he’d never scored more than once in an MLS season but this eruption had been bubbling, no doubt about it. A large portion of those goals being headers, displaying his insane leaping ability. This is what he does.

There were a few other things that happened in this game too. Just a couple of them. Having been 1-0 at the break things very quickly exploded. Portland needed a mere 29 seconds of the second half to find a second goal as Seb Blanco caressed a dropping volley home. Blanco then scored another on 52’ with a curling finish before debutant Brazilian striker Nathan Fogaça provided number four on 56’ with a quick angled run and sharp placement past the keeper.

That escalated quickly... and it wasn’t over. Johnny Russell immediately got one back for SKC with a back stick run but Fogaça scored his second ten mins later with yet another transitional attack – some gorgeous one-touch footy at the end of the move though we’ll also note that it was started by a Bill Tuiloma interception.

Timbers right back Jose van Rankin then got himself sent off for a second yellow and Marinos Tzionis scored with a header from the resulting free kick (75’) but Robert Voloder of SKC joined JVR with a red card of his own literally less than five mins later. Both teams ending with ten men. Marvin Loria and Santiago Moreno then scored late goals for Portland who in the end won 7-1.

Tuiloma got a yellow card in amongst it all for a pretty heavy challenge on half-way a few mins before the first red. Then not long afterwards he conceded a foul just outside the area which could easily have been a second yellow. Needless to say they subbed him off with caution on 82’. Gotta protect the form defender at the club right now.

Here’s another stat: two months into the season Bill Tuiloma is Portland Timbers’ joint top scorer. Three MLS goals, same as attacking midfielder Yimmi Chara and striker Jaro Niezgoda. He’s also second behind Chara in total shots so it’s not a fluke. He’s occupying attacking areas and getting attempts in. Many of those are headers or free kick shots plus a few long rangers hence his xG is only 1.6, however that also shows you how good he’s becoming as a finisher in his own particular way.

Now, there was also a US Open Cup game in the midweek which Tuiloma played the full thing of... but the Timbers lost 2-0 away to LAFC to be eliminated. Might just gloss over that one. Portland had their chances but the better team did win.

Elsewhere we’ll come back to Michael Boxall later but Deklan Wynne’s Detroit City were in the round of 32 as well. They drew 1-1 with Louisville after 120 mins and then lost on penalties (Wynne didn’t take one). Elliot Collier started for San Antonio against MLS team Houston Dynamo and got 84 mins. He was replaced soon after Houston finally broke the deadlock for a 1-0 win. Also James Musa remains injured for Phoenix Rising who lost 2-0 to Sacramento Republic. US Open Cup hopes pinned entirely on Boxy and Minnesota now.

Up Next: San Jose vs Portland on Thursday at 2.30pm; Portland vs Philadelphia on Monday at 2pm (NZT)

Olivia Chance - Celtic FC (Scottish Premier League)

The focus for Celtic is on the cup final in a fortnight... but first they did have to polish off their SWPL campaign with a couple more games over recent days. Nothing was gonna stop them finishing third but you still want to at least get some form bubbling ahead of the final. Which they certainly did in the midweek against Hearts. The same opponents had taken them to extra time in the cup semis not so long ago but Celtic demolished them in this league rematch. Surely you can guess who played a large role in that demolition...

Yup, Charlie Wellings with another hat-trick. But also Liv Chance who finished opportunistically for the third goal of the afternoon, then lashed a screamer for number four, before getting down the left wing and crossing in for Wellings to complete her hatty and Celtic to complete the scoring. 5-0 was the way it ended. Nice and emphatic.

Liv Chance: “We wanted to improve our performance against them from last time - they made us go 120 minutes and we didn’t enjoy that, so we wanted to get it finished early with a few goals before half-time. We’re building momentum for the final and I think in the first half we executed it well. We’re starting to play some really good football, and we have all season, but we’ve dipped in and out and I really think we’re hitting our stride now.”

They did lose some of that momentum in the league closer, mind you. A much tougher task on Monday morning NZT against the old foes Rangers and they took some damage early on. They were 3-0 down after thirty minutes and it’s a long way back from there. Did pull one back early second half as Caitlin Hayes scored from a corner but they weren’t able to find that second goal that would have really made it frisky, granted Liv Chance could easily gotten lucky with this deflected effort...

If only. Celtic lost 3-1. Rangers won the title. Celtic a very comfortable third place with a double digit points gap on either side of their final positioning. Hopefully that second half rally was something to carry into the cup final against Glasgow City in two weeks. Big yarns there.

Up Next: Just the small matter of the Scottish Cup Final, Celtic vs Glasgow City, on 30 May at 3.10am (NZT)

Liberato Cacace – Empoli (Italian Serie A)

We’ve definitely lost the alternating left-back trend in Empoli. Manager Aurelio Andreazzoli had gone nine games in a row in which Fabiano Parisi would start one game, then Liberato Cacace would start one, and so on and so forth. But Parisi has now started the last four in a row including the latest, the home finale against Salernitana, so we’ve gotta ease off at least until the end of this season and accept that Liberato Cacace is the second choice dude in his position. Maybe that changes after a full preseason with the club, who knows? Technically Cacace’s still only there on loan but they’ve long since avoided relegation so the permanent option is merely a formality.

Cacace did at least get a run in this match. Empoli had been leading 1-0 since Patrick Cutrone’s 31st minute strike only to concede an equaliser on 76’ as their goalie dropped a corner kick that had curled into his six yard box and then Federico Bonazzoli rather spectacularly slammed it home with an overhead kick. Empoli immediately made a couple of changes after that and Libby Cacace was one of them.

Should be mentioned that Salernitana were still very much in the relegation murk – albeit on the upper edge - and you could tell that added urgency added balance to the contest. Cacace came in and made a couple nice but safe passes... but on 82’ a VAR intervention awarded Salernitana a penalty after Empoli’s captain Simone Romagnoli left a foot in. However GK Guglielmo Vicario then made up for his earlier gaffe by saving it the attempt from Diego Perotti.

That was the last major chance of the match for Salernitana even if they did still whip in a few half-decent crosses. Their attacking emphasis left plenty of room for Empoli to attack on the counter except the Azzuri tended to be in two minds about whether to go for the kill or settle for the point. Cacace with a couple of lung-busting runs to little avail. Then Andrea La Mantia, who had been subbed on together with Cacace, almost scored with an overhead kick of his own which sailed just over the top with the last kick of the game. 1-1 the final score.

Empoli have one more match remaining and cannot finish any higher than their current 14th place. For what it’s worth, Salernitana are two points clear of the drop zone now and this draw extends their unbeaten streak to seven matches (4 wins, 3 draws) in what’d amount to a pretty incredible survival rally if they can close it out next week.

Up Next: Atalanta vs Empoli on Monday TBD (NZT)

Alex Greive - St Mirren (Scottish Premiership)

There have certainly been more entertaining games of football played throughout history than St Mirren’s 0-0 draw with Livingstone during the week. There were more fouls than shots, passing accuracy was rank average from both sides, hardly a pass was made along the ground in the midfield areas, and St Mirren in particular didn’t have a lot going for them. But it’s hard to blame a couple sides who have already dodged the relegation guillotine and didn’t have much else to play for.

On the plus side, it was a typically industrious effort from Alex Greive who got the full ninety minutes for a third consecutive game – having only done so in one league game prior to that run. Didn’t get a lot of reward for his efforts but he did come as close as any of the Saints to a goal with a glancing touch wide of the near post.

Then in the 38th and final match of the campaign it was a trip away to Aberdeen and guess what? They drew 0-0 again. Greive started and was only replaced in stoppage time. More good minutes for him as he puts forward his case for next season.

Same as last time, this was not a game for the St Mirren season highlights package. Aberdeen were the much better side with only some quality saves keeping them out initially. Then when they did score it was disallowed for a foul on the goalie. And speaking of fouls Aberdeen thought they’d won a penalty for handball only for that to be taken away for a shove in the back. All this in the first half, by the way.

Aberdeen continued their flow in the second but still found no way past Jak Alnwick in goal. Game ended scoreless even though Aberdeen had three times as many shot attempts and 67% of possession. St Mirren finish ninth on the ladder as the season draws to a close. Nine points clear of the relegation playoff.

As for Alex Greive, you wouldn’t have predicted it when he first when over to Scotland on trial from Birkenhead United but he ended up playing 15 SPL matches for the Buddies scoring two goals with one assist. Nine of those games were starts. He also added another goal in cup competition. Fingers crossed a few more Scottish clubs start searching Aotearoa for hidden gem footy players.

Up Next: All Whites, baby

Vic Esson – SC Sand (German Bundesliga)

The task was this: SC Sand had to win against a tricky Hoffenheim team and they also needed SCS Essen to simultaneously lose to last-placed Carl Zeiss Jena in order for Sand to avoid relegation. They’d done extremely well to keep themselves in with any chance going into the final matchday of the season but chances were it wasn’t going to happen. Still, they could at least take care of what they could control.

The game began slowly which was definitely more in Sand’s favour than not. But a defensive mistake in the 36th minute allowed Katharina Elisa Naschenweng to turn into the penalty area and smash a shot past Vic Esson for the lead. By which time, if they they were paying attention to the push notifications on the sidelines, they’d have found out that SGS Essen were already 3-0 up against Jena. So... not exactly going to script. Those scores both held until half-time.

Then Sand suddenly made it funky. CZJ weren’t gonna come back from three goals down in the other game however you still wanna end your Bundesliga status on a high and a pair of goals in the space of four minutes from Shai Pearl (volleying in on the second phase after a free kick) and Summer Green (brilliantly chipping the keeper from outside the area after intercepting a pass out) had Sand up 2-1 after 53 minutes. That lead only lasted until the 58th when a Hoffenheim corner wasn’t cleared and Celina Degen made it two apiece... yet in the 79th minute a great finish from Dörthe Hoppius at the second attempt put Sand back in front again.

Only for Hoffenheim to equalise after three minutes of stoppage time, damn. Chantal Hagel with the goal. Side-footed volley from a cross, perfectly placed. Didn’t give Esson a chance to get near it – none of the goals gave her much of a chance. The game ended 3-3 which was enough to relegate SC Sand regardless, though it wouldn’t have mattered due to that 3-0 result in the other game.

Victoria Esson only signed halfway through the season after leaving Avaldsnes in Norway. Doubtful if she remains with them in the second division although it did end up being a pretty handy short term spell. Got some quality games in making five appearances all up. A couple of those were thrashings in which she conceded seven goals (a 7-0 cup loss to UCL semi-finalists Wolfsburg and a 7-1 Bundesliga loss to Freiburg) but she kept a crucial clean sheet last week in a 1-0 win over Köln and in four Bundeliga apps her record was a win, two draws, and one defeat. 5 points from 4 games... compare that to the 8 points from 18 games they took prior to VE taking over the glovework.

Up Next: Back in the transfer market, probably

Joe Bell – Brøndby IF (Danish Superliga)

Fresh off of taking points off the probable Danish champs FC Copenhagen with a late equaliser, Brøndby were back at it against probable runners-up FC Midtjylland to try and do the same thing. Keep it all fair in the title race by impacting them both equally, right? Joe Bell at CDM in a 4-4d-2 shape. Off we go.

The contrasting confidence levels of the two teams were clear from the outset as Midtjylland worked clever passing patterns to create their chances whereas BIF were happy to play long and direct. However it was a deep free kick into the area from FCM that should have seen them take the lead only for the BIF goalie to make a super point-plank save off a close volley in the seventh minute. Guts to them because despite the early pressure on them, Brøndby took a 14th minute lead against the run of play. Won the ball in midfield, fed it forward quickly to beat the offside trap, and then Simon Hedlund cut it back for Christian Cappis to score with the aid of a helpful deflection.

This was a weird Joe Bell game. Against such a strong team, he was deployed in a very defensive role. Generally when they attacked he was just hanging deep in case of a counter. He even slid into CB for a stint early on while Andreas Maxsø got a cut on his chin patched up on the sideline. Bell took a couple corners and there were some nice possession-consolidating passes but a lot of what he was doing was being a deterrent and therefore the involvements were minimal. Minimal yet effective, as BIF took that lead into the break having managed to slow down that Midtjylland attack.

They then made a sub at the break with another defensive-minded midfielder coming on for an attacker, with one of the other mids sliding forward to avoid a change in shape. A move motivated by preserving that lead against a team that was always going to step on the accelerator with a title challenge to save. That happened. FCM sped things up and Bell was now deep enough to be winning defensive headers... though after a while he switched with HT sub Josip Radosevic and played on the right side of the midfield diamond.

Anis Ben Slimani hit the crossbar for BIF with a header from a (non-Bell) corner on 64’. Could have been a massive moment. In fact it arguably was a massive moment because that miss meant that when Evander skipped past one defender and then another and then beat the keeper from a tight angle all at his own pace in the 79th minute it made the game was 1-1. Which in turn meant that when Anders Dreyer smashed in a rebound goal less than three minutes later now Midtjylland were leading.

Don’t worry though. Bellinho was subbed off for a striker with five mins to go and BIF may not have looked much like scoring but they did at least get the ball down the right end of the pitch so that Andreas Bruus could take a snapshot in the fifth minute of stoppage time and hey sometimes you get lucky with those. Keeper should absolutely have saved it... but he didn’t. Snuck under him and Brøndby got themselves a last-gasp 2-2 draw. Catch some funky highlights.

Joe Bell: “It was a wild fight and a hard fight. They had many threats. I think our first half was good. We came out to the second half and tried to keep the result as long as we could. We knew they would push us and they did but it is disappointing to concede two goals as close to each other as we did. But we showed resilience just like the match against FCK with a late goal. Good goal from Bruus. It's steps in the right direction and a point which we can certainly use.”

Bell was then named on the bench a few days later for the trip to AaB. One of three changes to the starting team from the Midtjylland match three days earlier. His fourteenth appearance for his new club and the first time that he hasn’t been picked to start – though to be fair that workload combined with 85 mins a few days prior does seem to add up to a bit of standard rest and rotation rather than a dropping.

That game was a 3-1 win for Brøndby. Took the lead on 27’ then saw their opponents reduced to ten before the half was done for a high boot to the face of a dude. The lead was up to 3-0 after 70 mins and while AaB did pull one back, Joe Bell was swiftly brought on as the closer and AaB ended up with nine men after another red late on – for dragging a guy back by the shirt, should really have just been a yellow. Not that it made a difference to the outcome. A rare convincing win, there ya go. More highlights.

Hold the phone coz this does actually open up a pathway back into European footy for BIF. Goal difference doesn’t help them but if they can beat Silkeborg (third place) in their final and have AaB draw/lose to champions-elect FC Copenhagen (or a draw and an AaB loss) – beat their result, in other words – then Brøndby will finish fourth. That in turn means that they’ll get a playoff match against the top ranked team from the relegation half which is likely to be Viborg (Nikko Boxall’s old team, lol). Win that and they’ll enter the Europa Conference League second qualifying round. It’s not Champions League... but it’s something.

Up Next: 3am on Monday, BIF vs Silkeborg (NZT)

Callum McCowatt & Elijah Just - FC Helsingør (Danish Division 1)

Big game against Horsens, away from home, with the opportunity to jump back up into first with a win and dammit Helsingør were so close. Took the lead on 18’ as Tonni Adamsen picked off a loose ball on attack and fed Oliver Drost who finished past the keeper. That least only lasted four minutes... but on 36’ the same combo created a second goal in similar fashion, this time a transition attack, and FCH were back in front. Wee goalkeeping error helped in there too. But wait there’s more because Oliver Kjærgaard dashed through to make it 3-1 on 52’ mins.

No Just/McCowatt direct involvements in any of those goals but they did both start on the wings again, albeit McCowatt was replaced at HT specifically for Kjærgaard. Bummer... but can’t argue with the outcome. 3-1 up with less than forty minutes to survive in order to go top of the pops. Friends, they did not accomplish that task.

72nd min and an FCH defender went down trying to win a foul that wasn’t given. Ball was squared into the middle a couple times and it was 3-2. Just was replaced with about a dozen mins left as they attempted to batten down the hatches. Instead an 88th minute strike was diverted in at close range and Helsingør had to settle for a 3-3 draw courtesy of another late concession. They did manage to end Horsen’s winning streak but it should have been more.

Elsewhere in the division, Lyngby scratched out a 1-0 win over Hvidovre which means that they go ahead of FCH for the second promotion spot. Albeit only just. Helsingør are five points clear of fourth and two points off first with three games remaining and the next one is against Lyngby so it’s all still in their own control so long as they can win that match. Easier said than done, of course.

Up Next: Thursday at 4.30am, FCH vs Lyngby (NZT)

Jacqui Hand - Åland United (Finnish Kansallinen Liiga)

The Åland United hot streak continued with a 4-1 win over Ilves. Got things started when Anna Westerlund headed in from a corner in the third minute. Two mins later Dana Leskinen dashed through in transition after a slick one-two and she scored. Then two mins after that Leskinen had a double finishing off after Kit Loferski had gotten around the left edge. 3-0 up after seven minutes? That’s nuts.

No Jacqui Hand goals in amongst those although you could hear the coach’s voice on the telly coverage congratulating her for covering a teammate’s position in the wake of the third goal. Doing them team things. Ilves did pull one back before the half was out but Åland were always in control and they bagged a fourth right at the death to make the scoreline look prettier.

This time Hand did have a large, well, hand to play in the goal. It was her assist that allowed Dana Leskinen to complete her hat-trick. Good composed decision making while attacking at pace and then a tidy pass to allow Leskinen to shoot. That’s the way to do it...

Make that four wins and a draw since Jacqui Hand joined the team. This after losing both their first two matches (albeit against two of the top teams).

Up Next: Åland vs PK-35 on Sunday at 2am (NZT)

Anna Leat – West Ham United (English Super League)

Didn’t quite see this one coming but Anna Leat has left West Ham after one season. One of a handful of players who are departing the Hammers at the conclusion of their contracts and following in the footsteps of manager Olli Harder who also announced he’d be leaving after the final game last week.

There’s a bit more detail in last Friday’s Substack email about this situation, speculating on the circumstances (sign up for that mailing list – there’s often bonus Flying Kiwis scoops). Suffice to say that the vibes aren’t great at the Hammers right now with a number of players departing and let it be known that Leat certainly has interest from other WSL clubs.

Plus Olli Harder is rumoured with a move to America and has been a coach who likes to sign familiar players he’s worked with before in the past. Two of those whom he helped bring to West Ham, Tameka Yallop and Zaneta Wyne, are amongst those leaving. Adds some speculative fuel to that fire. Yallop wasn’t listed in the same announcement as Leat but she thanked the club in the past tense on IG after the last game which definitely sounds like a farewell.

Haven’t yet had the contract release updates from Tottenham or Leicester City. Ria Percival’s Spurs deal ends in June but there’s an option to extend it and despite her long impending injury absence, her key role with that team surely means they’ll take that one up. Not sure on CJ Bott’s deal but it’d be a surprise if they brought her in for only half a season. Optimistic on both counts and we’ll see where Anna Leat soon finds herself.

Up Next: Leave that one up to the agent

Meikayla Moore – Liverpool (English Championship)

On this same topic, Liverpool have released Meikayla Moore amidst their end of season housekeeping. That one is both a bummer and also not a bummer. On the one hand, Moore seemed to love it at the Reds and having been a part of their Championship winning campaign she’s been let go after gaining promotion but before getting a chance to actually play in the English top flight. On the other hand she was never a first choice player for the Reds after Matt Beard came in as coach and with reinforcements likely now that they’re a WSL club there was every chance that she’d fall further down the pecking order.

There will be clubs out there that offer her more playing opportunities and if she wants to be a starter for the Football Ferns at next year’s World Cup then that might be the better thing for her. Certainly can’t say that this news was unexpected though it’s definitely a shame. We’re coming to the end of a lot of European seasons at the moment so the transfer talk is probably going to ramp up now.

Moore played 9 times for Liverpool in this season’s Championship, though only two were starts and in total that added up to only 239 minutes. She did feature five more times in cup competitions though, including scoring a goal in an FA Cup win over Lincoln City. Regularly on the bench but centre-backs don’t tend to get subbed on all that often. All up across two seasons, Meikayla Moore played 32 times for Liverpool in all competitions, scoring three goals, and getting a Championship winner’s medal in the process.

Up Next: Time shall tell...

Francis De Vries – IFK Värnamo (Swedish Allsvenskan)

Another point on the board for Värnamo and another solid start for Francis De Vries. In fact it was his shot from the edge of the area that led indirectly to the Varny goal, bouncing around in the area after being blocked before Oscar Johansson turned it home.

But having led for so much of this game, managing to keep Mjällby out on their own pitch and spurning a couple half-chances to keep things where they were, they got popped when they were right on the brink of victory. Big heavy ball over the top saw a Varny CB drop deep to collect it only he made a mess of his back-pass and Herman Johansson swooped to equalise with 94:56 on the clock and five mins of stoppage time allotted. Another point on the board... which should have been another three points on the board.

By the way, FDV was one of the 26 blokes called up for All Whites camp ahead of the Costa Rica WCQ but unlike most of them his season won’t have ended in two weeks’ time so he’ll miss some Allsvenskan time in there, so it goes. Same applies to Michael Boxall and Bill Tuiloma in America. Nando Pijnaker in Ireland. Also Logan Rogerson in Finland. That’s about it.

Up Next: Away to Helsingborg on Sunday at 3.30am (NZT)

Stefan Marinovic - Hapoel Nof HaGalil (Israeli Premier League)

Yooo... a win and a clean sheet for Stefan Marinovic this week! Nof HaGalil doing the business over Hapoel Haifa with a 1-0 win thanks to a 50th minute goal from Omer Fadida. Couple very nice saves from Marinovic in there.

Only problem was that this was their final match and they kinda already got relegated. A couple nice results down the stretch wasn’t enough to overcome a season’s worth of poor form and they ended six points adrift of safety in last place on goal difference with 27 points from 33 games. Marinovic played in 28 of those games, during which he faced the second most shots in the league. He did manage to save two of the eight penalties he faced and kept nine clean sheets all up. Also conceded a lot of goals and made a lot of saves. Never easy for the goalies in a team like that.

Up Next: Just the small matter of All Whites duty

Logan Rogerson & Ollie Whyte - FC Haka (Finnish Veikkausliiga)

Tough loss for Haka. Away to KuPS, it was a mostly even kind of game as both teams created decent chances from the outset. Logan Rogerson had a header he didn’t get much contact on as well as a curling shot cutting in from the wing which went wide. But it was KuPS who converted one first as Tim Väyrynen poked in at the near post after 27 mins and then a brilliant free kick from Janis Ikaunieks ten mins later really shifted the tone of the match.

So on came Ollie Whyte at half-time with the two kiwi lads playing out the rest of the contest. Whyte would eventually work one back with that goal coming from his high press and some sharp interplay with Lee Erwin. 85th minute, not quite enough time to rally back for a leveller although they did go close. A flurry of late corners made things very frisky and with about twenty secs left a Rogerson cross was headed on target but tipped over by an outstretched goalie. So close to snatching a point at the death.

Alas, that’s three defeats in a row for Haka after going down 2-1 here whilst KuPS remain undefeated and in first place. First Veikkausliiga goal for Whyte (who did score in their League Cup run). Both he and Rogerson are off the mark in the comp now, as well as each having scored a second goal in the various cup stuff.

Up Next: Haka vs SJK, Weds at 3am; HJK vs Haka, Mon at 3.30am (NZT)

Erin Nayler - Umeå IK (Swedish Damallsvenskan)

A third straight defeat was suffered by Umeå this weekend yet this one was not without its silver linings. Erin Nayler couldn’t do much as they fell behind to Eskilstuna in the seventh minute as Paulina Nyström assisted herself with a header off the post that she then tapped in on the rebound before Nayler could recover from her initial dive. Rotten luck there however UIK didn’t crumble and instead tied it back up through Bri Campos on 31’.

Eskilstuna entered this week sitting atop the Damallsvenskan ladder so as UIK kept them at evens deeper and deeper into this match there was plenty to enjoy. Nayler made a couple quality stops. One 1v1 save in particular was impressive. Sadly they couldn’t quite hang on. Elin Linnea Rombing’s snapshot from six yards out on 82’ restored that Eskilstuna lead and ultimately kept them in first place. By no means a shocker from Umeå though and if they play at that level in every game then they’ll have no troubles staying in the top flight. Highlights over here.

Up Next: A potentially winnable one away to Kalmar on Sunday at 1am (NZT)

Emma Rolston - Avaldsnes IL (Norwegian Toppserien)

On the positive side, Emma Rolston got ninety minutes this week for the first time this season. It was also her first start for more than a month, having been subbed on at half-time of each of the last two games. So that was cool. On the negative side... they lost 10-0 to Brann. Yeah, not joking.

Three of the goals came from corners. Quite a few from failed clearances. Rollo played as a striker so needless to say you barely even glimpse her in those highlights outside of kickoffs. Maybe next week will be a little kinder.

Up Next: Cup footy vs Viking on Thursday at 4am, then home to Rosenborg in the Toppserien on Monday at 1am (NZT)

Andre De Jong – AmaZulu FC (South African Premier Soccer League)

Ooh, nearly sparked a winner after coming on as a sub in AmaZulu’s penultimate PSL fixture. If only the ref had had some of it instead of none of it. Can’t find any highlights of the game so you’ll have to use your imagination. Cape Town City and AmaZulu drew 0-0 in the end.

That draw means that AmaZulu are probably looking at a seventh placed finish with one game left to play. Definitely somewhere between 5-8. Not quite the second place of last season but having been way down near the bottom for a while there they have managed to recover pretty well. That game next week could be De Jong’s last for the club with his contract expiring after this season... or they could just re-sign him, dunno.

Up Next: AmaZulu vs Golden Arrows on Sunday at 1am (NZT)

Niko Kirwan – Calcio Padova (Italian Serie C)

Been a while since we last heard from Padova. That’s because their second placed finish in their conference meant they got to skip out on the early promotion playoff stuff. As tough as the Serie C playoffs are with 28 teams competing for one spot, Padova’s strong season at least meant they didn’t have to enter until the quarter-finals which will take place across the upcoming week. Better hope there’s no rust for a team that hasn’t played since April 25.

Padova will face Juventus U23s across two legs in the semis. First match is on Wednesday at 7am NZT, that one is away, second match is at home on Sunday at 6.30am NZT. Should they advance from that then there’s a further two-legged semi-final against either Monopoli or Catanzaro and then a two-legged final to follow... which could potentially be against his old club Reggiana with whom he won these promotion playoffs a couple years ago.

Yeah, this is about to get hectic.

Up Next: Juventus U23s vs Calcio Padova on Wednesday at 6.30am (NZT)

Ryan Thomas – PSV Eindhoven (Dutch Eredivisie)

“Joey Veerman is doubtful for Wednesday as he has picked up a calf injury in the clash with Feyenoord. Ryan Thomas, André Ramalho, Yorbe Vertessen, Carlos Vinícius, Olivier Boscagli, Phillipp Mwene and Armando Obispo are out for the rest of the season.”

That was PSV coach Roger Schmidt speaking ahead of a 3-2 win over NEC Nijmegen on Thursday NZT. The last home game of the season and second to last overall – the final game was a 2-1 win against Thommo’s old club PEC Zwolle (who had already been relegated) a few days later. Officially ruling Ryan Thomas out for the campaign and with his contract option having been declined that could mean he’s played his last match for the Eindhoven club. Schmidt has certainly coached his last – he announced his impending departure months ago and has already signed to coach Benfica next season with Ruud Van Nistelrooy taking over at PSV.

That hefty injury list meant that PSV had to fill out the squad with a number of youth players although the eleven they started with was still very strong. However Ajax won 5-0 against Heerenveen in a concurrent fixture which meant that they clinched the Eredivisie title once again. Shout out to them, s’pose.

Ryan Thomas hasn’t played since October. He’d already been ruled out of the All Whites intercontinental playoff in a few weeks due to what in the very least would have been a lack of match fitness. He has been getting more involved in training over the last month or two but it’s been a slow recovery from injury and it’s hard to say where his career goes from here. Best we just stay patient with it.

Up Next: ???

Michael Boxall – Minnesota United (American Major League Soccer)

He was still named on the bench but didn’t play, fair enough. Minnesota United lost 3-1 to Seattle Sounders without him, blowing a 1-0 half-time lead.

However Boxall did get a game in the midweek in which Minny Utd were able to score an 87th minute winner via Emanuel Reynoso to knock Colorado Rapids out of the US Open Cup. 2-1 the final score. The last kiwi player remaining in the competition for 2022.

Interesting to see them play a back three in that game with Boxy on the right. They didn’t finish with a back three because Brent Kallman got sent off a few mins before the winner but all goods. The Loons advance to the last sixteen... although they’ve now lost three MLS games in a row and have a double-gameweek coming up. Better hope Boxy’s rested up and ready to go again. Better also hope that Minnesota actually release him for international duty this time unlike at the Olympics.

Up Next: Thursday midday against LA Galaxy then FC Dallas away on Monday at 11am (NZT)

Myer Bevan - Cavalry FC (Canadian Premier League)

Not one...

Not two...

But three...

Three goals for Myer Bevan this week, first a double in a 2-1 win over FC Edmonton in the Canadian Championship prelims – bouncing his team into the finals – and then the first in a 2-2 draw in the CPL away to Wanderers (with a very late equaliser to their favour). A couple right-place-right-time goals from corners and also a penalty. Finding a way to score goals is what he does best.

Up Next: Kiwi-Canadian derby, Myer Bevan’s Cavalry versus Moses Dyer’s Valour on Sunday at 7.30am (NZT)

Get generous on our Patreon if you dig these Flying Kiwis yarns each week and wanna support the mahi

Also sign up to our lovely Substacker, whack an ad to say cheers, and tell your mates about us

Keep cool but care