France 5-2 Iceland

Perhaps it was a step too far for Iceland, perhaps they’d already exhausted themselves in getting this far. Whatever it was, the fairy tale came to an abrupt end against France as they were thoroughly dismantled in the early stages. The Icelanders bagged a couple goals in the second half but the result was gone by then. They leave with their heads held high.

And France make their most decisive claim for winning this whole thing yet. This was the first time that things really clicked for them, other than in flashes and small doses. It’s taken some word from Didier Deschamps and his lads but the two man attacking line of Olly Giroud and Antoine Griezmann is looking so fine. Giroud with the big man presence, Griezmann with the pace and creativity playing off of him. For all the criticism about the big Arsenal forward and the tiny Atletico one in earlier games (and in friendlies before that), they’ve got it going now and all it took was playing them through the middle and to their strengths.

Just take a look at the movement from Giroud and Griezmann for the fourth goal of this game. It’s sublime. The speed, the sharpness… amazing.

The finish ain’t bad either.

For some reason Iceland played higher up the park than they ought to have, their defensive line leaving too much room in behind for Griezmann especially to take advantage of. Hey, but Iceland were playing with house money. They never expected to make it this far in the first place. Give it one more Viking Clap Routine and remember their win over England as one of the greats.

You know, if Barca new boy Samuel Umtiti isn’t a serious chance to start against Germany ahead of Adil Rami then I give up. He was so good here, I don’t think he misplaced a single pass. Talk about Barcelona football, aye?

Tell you what else, I’ve gotta say that Germany are heavy favourites now but I’ll come to a few tricky obstacles for them with their squad soon and I’ll add this: France haven’t lost at home in a major tournament since 1960. They’re timing their run perfectly as well – especially if Umtiti stays in and solidifies that defence. Rio is seeing the same weaknesses as me, it seems.

Germany 1-1 Italy

(GER wins 6-5 on pens)

Penalty shootouts between top quality teams tend not to go like that. Mama mia. It was 6-5 in the end but only after both teams missed three of their first five and, mate, they were not simple misses either. Graziano Pelle tried to play mindgames with the king in Manuel Neuer and failed miserably. Thomas Muller gently passed his kick so softly that Gigi Buffon could have dived the wrong way, gotten up and dusted himself off, walked over to the other side of the goal and picked it up. Zaza was subbed on specifically to take a spottie and he wallied his kick miles off target after hot-stepping his way to the spot. It was a disaster until the defenders started kicking and in the end it was Jonas Hector that got lucky with the decisive kick.

The game itself was a fascinating affair as well. Short on pure action but a proper psychological test with the Germans throwing all they could at possibly the best international defence we’ve witnessed in decades. Bonucci, Barzagli and Chiellini, with Buffon behind them. It’s a trio (quartet) built and perfected at Juventus by Antonio Conte himself and utilised immaculately here. A World Champion Germany team could only manage a handful of decent chances – between the BBC3 they made 5 tackles, 8 interceptions and 19 clearances with just a single foul conceded. Properly brilliant.

Problem was they don’t have much going forward and the one Mesut Ozil goal – created by a brilliant Mario Gomez reverse pass – should have been the difference, only for Jerome Boateng to have a mindblank jumping up for a cross with his arms in the air. For the man who has been their best defender to stump like that was shocking – he looked devastated himself and even when he stepped up to take his spot kick in the shootout he still appeared shattered. Luckily he scored or else who knows. Just like with first impressions, you only get one chance to beat the Italian defence. Once they equalised, penalties were pretty much certain.

And so we say farewell to this Italian side, they made the absolute most of a limited squad and a generational defence but it wasn’t quite enough. It rarely is, every tournament sees multiple teams coming in convinced that this will be their year. That Italy fell short doesn’t make it a failure, that game was a true heavyweight clash and Germany vs France will be as well. Conte moves on to Chelsea, that backline gets a little older and we might not get this again. If not, the legacy of Conte’s Italy won’t be a trophy… it’ll be breaking the Spanish dominance over Europe.

Unfortunately for Germany, Mats Hummels is out of the semi with suspension. Given how well Benedikt Howedes has been in limited showings, that’s not as big a deal as it could have been, but it’s still another victim of the outrageous ruling that two yellow cards across five games can see you suspended for a semi-final. Wales are the worst affected with Aaron Ramsey and Ben Davies – two crucial players – also out for the same reason. They wipe the cards now so that nobody misses a final but there’s no final to miss if Wales lose now without those two. A couple of yellows in five games is not a big deal.

To be fair, Ramsey’s second yellow was stupid, throwing a hand at a loose ball and he realised his mistake immediately. Whoops. Germany, though, they also have a few injuries to deal with now that Mario Gomez is done for the season and Sami Khedira is out of the France game too. Bastian Schweinsteiger, no shocker, is in doubt. Gomez has been great for them and is the only proper centre forward in the squad. That won’t be easy to replace… though on the positive, France’s defence is nothing like Italy’s.

Wales 3-1 Belgium

Yes now, come on! Wales were absolutely brilliant here. So bloody good. Belgium were the opposite but let’s not dwell on the negatives here.

Ah, well maybe just a little bit, because this was a weird game. Initially Belgium came out and thoroughly dominated. They were all over the Welsh and if it weren’t for an incredible triple block (three different players too) after about six mins then they would have been behind. This was Belgium playing like they did in the previous game against Hungary – which I’ve read described as Eden Hazard’s best game for the national team. The movement was swift and all those tricky attacking players were linking up well. Eventually the goal came and it was Radja Nainggolan with a belter past Wayne Hennessey.

And then they stopped. Belgium suddenly sat back with the 1-0 lead and for no reason, it had been a tough push to break down the Welsh defence but they still did it and in only 13 mins. Sure, they weren’t going to maintain that pace of play but to take the foot off the gas entirely was shocking. Wales had to chase the game now and they did. They threw guys forward and Hal Robson-Kanu was all over the place, let alone the work of their two standouts Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey. When Ashley Williams headed them level after 31 minutes it was no less than they deserved.

Try as they might, Belgium never got the same level of impetus back in their game. Wales didn’t send everyone forward or anything like that but there was always someone in support, usually two or three – unlike the England game when Bale was so often isolated. Robson-Kanu’s goal was a magnificent bit of skill and Sam Vokes’ header sealed the deal. This was a brilliant performance on the biggest day in Welsh football history and the beer went everywhere…

Not entirely sure about the legalities of the Welsh players borrowing the iconic Icelandic Viking Clap thingamajig though. Slightly odd. Hey but the dancing was on point.

Shout out to Hal Robson-Kanu. Former Arsenal youth player but he was released as a teenager and has been a Reading player ever since – with a couple of loan spells on the side (Southend and Swindon). But his contract ran down at the end of last season and knowing that he was in with a shot of featuring at the Euros, he declined to sign a new one, instead putting himself in the shop window. The 27 year old scored one of the most important goals of his nation’s footballing history and it could also be a goal that gets him back in the Premier League (where he played 27 times with Reading in 2012-13, scoring seven goals). He’s usually a winger and that explains why he’s only scored four international goals in 34 caps (two at this tournament) but Coleman’s Wales don’t use wingers and he’s been great at the top of the line. Give this man a contract, somebody!

Portugal 1-1 Poland

(POR wins 5-4 on pens)

You know, this game started off so well. Poland with the big switch by Piszczek (which was misplayed by Cedric), Grosicki takes it in and whips it to Robert Lewandowski and the star man buried it two minutes in for his first goal of the tournament. It ain’t easy being the only true star on a team but Lewandowski has worked as hard as anyone – Ronnie could take a few lessons, to be honest.

But then apart from Renato Sanches’ wicked if deflected effort that was about it. The game had about half an hour where it was really entertaining. Quick start, early goal, the favourites left chasing the game… and then they equalised and it slowly faded like a wilting plant. Extra time was pretty much unbearable. This, like so many other Portugal games this tournament, was kinda awful.

Which is a shame because I became a big fan of this Poland team. Lewandowski is as good as any striker in the world and players like Lukasz Fabianski, Lukasz Piszczek, Jakub Blaszczykowski and Grzegorz Krychowiak make sure they’re more than just a one man side. Same deal as with Wales, really. Krychowiak has just signed for PSG, following manager Unai Emery from Sevilla to the French champs so there ya go, Piotr Zieliński and Arkadiusz Milik are worthy of decent money transfers themselves. But they were a team that didn’t quite believe in themselves, probably a little short on creativity and while they had a defence as good as any outside the main trophy contenders, they couldn’t score the goals and found themselves sitting further and further back as games went on. It happened as a dominant first half became a defensive second against Switzerland and it was similar against Portugal. It certainly didn’t help that once again Adam Nawalka didn’t use his full allotment of subs. Call it a depth issue there, but the Poles were completely exhausted by the end. They’d played 120 minutes in the last round and 120 more here saw them absolutely gassed. It was the same two guys, Grosicki and Maczynski, that were subbed in both games so the other nine of an unchanged line-up played 240 minutes in five days.

As for Portugal, not a fan. This is a team that’s been in the lead for 22 minutes all Euros. Five games, two spells of extra-time, 510 minute of football and they’ve led for 22 of them. They’ve also only trailed for 61 minutes so that’s a fine indication of what they’ve brought to the table. Are they a good team? I wouldn’t have said it before the tourney but yeah, they’re pretty decent. Pepe is a nutcase but he’s also a multiple Champions League winning defender and Jose Fonte has been great for Southampton the last couple seasons. William Carvalho doesn’t look like the kind of midfielder that the top Premier League teams were battling over a few years ago but defensively he’s really good. Renato Sanches is a dreadlocked ball of energy. They’d be a much better team with Nani wider and a proper striker up front to play off Ronaldo but whatever. They’re tough to beat and that’s taken them all the way to the semis.

Ronaldo’s gotta stop trying to hit those over the shoulder volleys, the lad’s got no hope. People laugh at him for air-balling them (he had one against Iceland, same deal) but those are straight stunners if they go in. The technique it takes to volley a ball on the full as it drops over you on the run… too much, bro. Take a touch.

And The Rest:

Mistaken Identity

Spot The Moment His Heart Breaks

Not Euro Related…

… but it is spilled beer related. New Juventus RB Dani Alves is spending his summer well.

Ooh Ah Cantona!

Statties