Well that one came out of nowhere. Shane Smeltz, returning to the Wellington Phoenix to play out the rest of this season and potentially the next one too, if he has his way. With the form of Roy Krishna another striker perhaps isn’t the most desperate need for the Nix – a central midfielder and a couple of fullbacks would be much higher on Santa’s list – but this is Shane Flippin’ Smeltz and if he wants to wander on into the team midseason then why the hell not?

The lad’s been in Malaysia in recent times and had been rumoured with an A-League return going back a couple weeks. The poor old Newcastle Jets thought they could lure him, guts to them. Nah instead he’s returning, in his own words, to where it all started…

Those were the days. A fresh new franchise rising from the ashes and ready to take the A-League by storm. There were some iconic names in there: Tony Lochhead, Leo Bertos, Daniel… a hot new manager in Ricki Herbert… okay they weren’t that good. They finished eighth and then sixth and didn’t make the playoffs in either season. The following campaign they would sneak in with their best ever season as Paul Ifill took them to the preliminary final but by that time Smeltzy had already left.

23 goals in two seasons, including 14 and the golden boot in 2008-09. Smeltz won the Johnny Warren Medal that term which is a feat that only Nathan Burns has matched with the club. Notably the Nix weren’t able to retain either of them for the subsequent season. The frustrating thing is that so often the one thing this team desperately needed was a goal-scoring striker and there he was banging them away with Gold Coast United, Perth Glory and Sydney FC. He’s still third on the all-time A-League top scorers list with 89, having been passed recently by Besart Berisha – fair to say there’s a little unfinished business in that.

Man, what Ernie Merrick would have done to have a guy like Smeltz in his prime, finishing off all that gorgeous build up play his Nix side so often provided to no avail. Ernie never had a striker like that. He developed Roy Krishna into a quality goal scorer but Roy’s not really a poacher, he’s not really a finisher. Even if there’ve been hints of that in 2016-17 – the fella’s tied second in the comp with 7 goals, on target for 17 which would be a Phoenix season record - lately if it hasn’t been Roy then it hasn’t been anyone. It took them until the fourth game to even score a goal and until the sixth before Hamish Watson finally ended Krishna’s monopoly over goals – though Krishna still set that one up for him. The idea of a proven striker coming in to help out sounds pretty enticing, to be honest.

It won’t be prime Smeltz that we see back in Welly. He’s 35 now and wasn’t the same player last time out with Sydney. But he scored goals in Malaysia and if you believe his incredibly self-confident quotes in the press release then we might be in for the second coming of Ronaldo (the original, of course – but with a dose of the new one’s ego).

Smeltzy: “I feel younger than ever and can’t wait to get back to Wellington. I am physically in top shape as my stint in Malaysia showed. I played 18 games in three and a half months at a club that had no physio or doctor, scored 11 goals and played 90 minutes in every game. I am stronger than when I was at the Phoenix the last time.”

Oh well okay then, bro. Looking forward to it. If he’s truly in as fine a shape as he claims then we’re probably looking at a starting XI dude, if not then the experience off the bench will help plenty too. In the match at Mt Smart on the weekend they fielded a bench that read: Lewis Italiano, Tom Doyle, Matt Ridenton, Ryan Lowry and Logan Rogerson. That’s an average age of 22 years which tells you a little something about this squad.

Hamish Watson, himself only 23, has started in the two games that Chris Greenacre and Des Buckingham have been in charge for. That’s a spot in the line-up right there for Smeltzy if he can earn it. Watto’s done a job but he might be a year or two away from being able to call himself a genuine starter in the A-League. He was pretty limited on the weekend, working hard but rarely getting in the right spots to pick up the pass and it was no shocker when he was eventually replaced in the 57th minute with the Nix down 2-0… then within five minutes of him being subbed out they pulled one back and would go on to draw 2-2. Being able to put Krishna through the middle made a huge difference to their attack, which isn’t the best reflection on the chap who was playing there before him. Watson’s growth as a player in the last 12 months has been super exciting and he’s a great alternative option with his bulk but maybe not the most reliable starter is all.

We should probably be prepared for Smeltz to suck, just in case. Chances are he isn’t gonna come in and score a dozen goals and prove the missing link they needed. Yet on the other hand, you’d have to say that a Phoenix squad with Shane Smeltz in it is a better squad than a Phoenix squad without him. Plus it’s always awesome to see old favourites return. That kinda stuff plays into the history and the legacy of the club. It’s a treat for fans and a way of reinforcing the club as something greater than an ordinary football team in our minds. Foreign clubs like Manchester United and Liverpool have a mythos about them. The Wellington Phoenix do not… but every bit helps.

Continuing on with his comments on the move, what’s maybe most interesting about the whole thing is how much this sounds like a passion thing for him:

Smeltzy: “It is a decision I am comfortable with because I know the club and its environment and Dura and the boys. My wife Nikki knows how important this is to me and is giving me her full support. I want to enjoy it and contribute as much as I can to the team. My intention is to be successful and the least I want is a top six finish.”

Obviously he’s talking a big game, the fitness stuff made that abundantly clear. Yet he’s also walking the walk because… well, he’s signed. This isn’t a rumour, he starts training on Tuesday. The reference to his wife is the main thing there – she’s from Sydney and he grew up in Queensland, still considering it home. Their family splits time between the two (and presumably Malaysia in recent months, swap that now with Aotearoa). That’s pretty much why he left the Phoenix in the first place – that and the cash, can’t ignore the cash. A man has a right to make a living after all.

So for him to come back now is a curious one. Sad as it was to see him go, most Phoenix fans understood why it happened. No bitterness, no dramas. Perhaps he had a few lingering regrets buried at the back of his mind. Or maybe he just loved his time in Wellington with Dura and the boys and now, nearing retirement, he wants to experience that again. Probably the latter. That sixth placed finish is a stretch on current form but the enjoyment and the contribution things are safe bets. He’s even talking about a possible one-year extension.

In the midst of an extremely frustrating season and without a manager (but with two caretakers), this is a tasty early Christmas present for Yellow Feverers and Associates. Unbeaten for two weeks and with a slight break until Boxing Day and now a sexy new signing to unleash on all those other jokers. There were some dark times in early December. Hopefully this is more than just the eye of the storm.

Oh yo but what number is he gonna wear? Kosta Barbarouses already has dibs on the number 9 while Tommy Doyle has the standard backup of 19. The only spare digit in the early list is #3, maybe that one? Be a bit weird seeing a striker wearing 3 but what’s the square of 3? It’s 9, there ya go Shane. Whaddayareckon?

Smeltzy: “I started off at the Phoenix with No. 9 on my back and it is only fitting that I have two nines this time. I like the look of it. Ronaldo, the Brazilian, wore the 99 shirt at AC Milan towards the end of his career but this will be the first time in the A-League.”

Hmm, alrighty. You don’t often see a footballer with 99 on their back but then this is Shane Smeltz after all. He’s special.