Traversing European football’s transfer market requires more than a comfortable pair of shoes. It’s like a scene out of Indiana Jones, with false rumours flying at you from all angles. Between agents trying to get new contracts for their dudes and clubs trying to flex their financial muscles with heroic speculation it’s about all you can do to duck and cover and wait for it all to end. There is truth hidden deep behind all the traps but getting to it… well, that’s another matter.

Pick a random rumour. Ignore the clickbait headlines and find the actual, tangible information/claims within. Take that info and ask yourself: Where did this come from? Who does it benefit?

Pretty much there are five possible sources. The club, the other club, the player, the agent and the publication. At a guess, at least 50% (if not a whole lot more) are just the publication making stuff up or jumping to dramatic conclusions in order to drive traffic/sales. Which is why you’ve also gotta try steer clear of certain trashy tabloids and the likes. Those are beyond dumb and a smart fan is reading right through their bollocks.

But a rumour with some kind of reality behind it, that’s where the other four sources come into it. Usually the player and the agent represent the same views so that’s one thing. If the agent’s linking a player away then maybe that chap really wants to leave, maybe he really wants to stay and this is all driving a bidding war for a new contract. Usually circumstances will bring some enlightenment there.

Where things get really weird is when the clubs are the ones leaking info to the press. The other day it was widely reported that Liverpool were willing to pay £60m for Southampton’s Virgil van Dijk. Enough to cause Manchester City to drop out of the race but not only that, the player himself was also apparently keen on the move and it seemed like only a matter of time before the deal was concluded. A great signing for the Reds. Expensive, sure, but they need a centre back and van Dijk is one of the very best in the Premier League. Meanwhile Southampton stood to squeeze another big fee out of Liverpool for a player who missed the back half of last season anyway.

Except that something didn’t smell right. Southampton were of the belief that these reports were originating from Liverpool’s PR team. If indeed that was the case then how could they possibly know that the player was keen to join when Southampton had never received any formal request to speak to him? In other words, Liverpool had illegally tapped the dude up and their sneaky press tactics accidentally tipped their hands. Southampton issued a complaint to the Premier League. Liverpool issued an apology.

“Liverpool Football Club would like to put on record our regret over recent media speculation regarding Southampton Football Club and player transfers between the two clubs. We apologise to the owner, board of directors and fans of Southampton for any misunderstanding regarding Virgil van Dijk. We respect Southampton’s position and can confirm we have ended any interest in the player.”

The reports about this development? You can safely assume that they’re coming from Southampton’s side of things. Van Dijk is signed a five-year deal ahead of the last season and after several seasons of compromised success as a result of all their player sales, they’re under pressure to show they can keep hold of their best players. If that deal had gone through legally they probably wouldn’t have been able to refuse it. Finding a hitch, however, has probably saved them a world class central defender.

In that way it’s a lot like Southampton’s version of the broken fax machine that kept David de Gea at Manchester United (although we’ve never fully heard the real story there – Real Madrid had reason for cold feet and it sorta worked out a little too conveniently to be fluke).

Meanwhile on the same day further reports emerged that Liverpool were backing out of talks with Roma to sign winger Mohamed Salah and were instead shifting their focus towards Sporting Lisbon winger Gelson Martins. Rumours had lingered for a while over Salah, the former Chelsea bloke, but Roma were asking for too much. Rather than take the L on that one, Klopp’s lads have changed the narrative into a more positive development. You can probably guess where that leak came from.

Then there was the Antoine Griezmann thing a week ago. “Manchester United have cooled their interest in Antoine Griezmann, with the Europa League winners prioritising a striker rather than a No10 this summer,” said The Guardian. Not that Griezmann would not be joining Man United but that Man United would not be signing Griezmann… because they need to sign a proper striker instead. Even though Griezmann regularly starts up front alongside Fernando Torres at Atletico Madrid.

Coincidentally (not coincidentally), that very same day it was confirmed that Atletico had been handed down a transfer ban that’ll keep them from registering new players until January 2018, after their appeal was rejected. Griezmann had been talking about probably moving for a few weeks but with the club now unable to replace him there were suddenly complications. Eventually Griezmann admitted that it’d be “a low blow” if he was to leave under those circumstances. But by then Manchester United had already withdrawn from the matter. So… the chicken or the egg?

(“Now more than ever #Atleti”)

Of course they could’ve still tried to force a move through by meeting Griezmann’s £87m release clause but then why do that when you can probably get Alvaro Morata for around 27 mill less? He being a proper old goal-scoring number nine and everything.

And as for the rare player perspective, see if you can read between the lines here…

Diego Costa: “My relationship with the coach has been bad this season. I suppose I’ve had a bad season so I can’t go on. I’m going to be honest, the other day Conte sent me a message saying he does not count on me for next season, so I’ll have to find a way out.”

Romelu Lukaku: “Staying at Everton is not really an option for next season. I am staying calm about everything. There is nothing concrete with another club at the moment, but my agent is busy discussing things. I know where I want to go, so I’ll just stay patient. I know meetings have been arranged, so I’m just waiting for a call. We are now in discussions with the club. We’ll see what happens.”

Just gonna go out on a limb here and assume the club Rommy’s talking about isn’t Liverpool.

Tell ya who you can trust… The Niche Cache. Trust us to keep serving up the knowledge as best we can and we’ll trust you to maybe click on a flashing ad here or there, maybe, please, possibly, if you don’t mind.