As political stupidity ruins our planet, four Golden Children from the cricketing chapter emerged.

'Golden' because of their cricketing exploits.

'Children' because they represent the youth.

Hailing from the Land Of The Long White Cloud was Kane Williamson. A batsman who has clear clear natural gifts, enhanced by a typically kiwi work ethic which now sees him wield his blade as though he was an instructional guide. Known for leading through actions and his humility, Williamson is following the path laid down before him by Aotearoa's peace-bringers and many kiwis have blind faith in Williamson because his virtues and personality reflect that of an everyday kiwi.

That the small nation of Aotearoa is represented by a Golden Child is a matter of great prestige and is to be savoured.

Australia's Steven Smith threw the instructional guide out as a child, finding his own way through the masses of cricketing talent in Australia. Such a natural talent, Smith has been able to put a unique twist on his craft after he changed his plan of attack, evolving from an exciting leg-spinning prospect to a wizard who waves his wand in the funkiest way possible.

All the Golden Children are immensely gifted as batsman, Virat Kohli is perhaps the most skilled and naturally fills a leadership position among the Golden Children. 

Like India's peace-bringers before him, Kohli can do it all and has already done it all but as a child of the MS Dhoni era, what sets Kohli apart from those peace-bringers of the highest ilk is that Kohli doesn't give a fuck - in the nicest possible way.

The cricketing gods dictate that the Golden Children can only be the Golden Children once there is a quartet, connecting four pillars on Earth with the stars in outer space. This rare occurrence appeared likely to eventuate once Joe Root emerged to stand alongside Williamson, Smith and Kohli as a batsman as his rise to captain England was set in stone(henge).

As a soldier on the cricket field, Root is on equal standing with the other Golden Children. As a Golden Child though, Root has only recently stepped into this role, it is a role that Root was destined for and after years of preparation Root has earned the respect of his fellow Golden Children. 

The four Golden Children are provided with their blades from three different lumberjacks. Root and Smith represent New Balance, a fresh player in the lumberjack game who have quickly established a strong roster of cricketers. 

The murky world of cricket's lumberjacks would suggest that Kohli uses a blade provided by MRF, however (this applies for all Golden Children who can put any sticker on any willow) it's unclear where Kohli's willow comes from as the leading peace-bringer had previously used a bat with a Nike sticker on it and we know Nike don't really make cricket bats. 

Williamson is known for his Gray-Nicholls blade, a traditional cricketing brand. Representing a lumberjack steeped in cricketing history, Williamson's equipment reflects the style in which he uses the blade.

As cricket's four Golden Children, these humans have been chosen to provide us with entertainment and joy through cricket. Their influence as Golden Children is greater than what they do on cricket fields around the world, the manner in which they conduct themselves will play a part in saving planet Earth from silly buggers.