It's mythological madness in the north, as we met a new Red Priestess and Dany's about to have a brand new suitor stumble upon her. With hella boats, bro. Converse away, lads.

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Diggity Doc: El Wildcardo, how'd Hodor's funeral end up? I skipped it because I was a bit busy holding the fort for the Niche Cache, so we sent you to go check it out, perhaps get the inside scoop on Bran's future? But, like, was the funeral for the grown-ass Hodor or the kid Hodor ... did you have to do some warging yourself to go say goodbye to Hodor? What was the deal?

Wildcard: Hi Doc, yeah it went about as you'd expect. Quite a big attendance actually, lots of mourners. Although I did notice that Bran and Meera didn't make it was pretty unfortunate - apparently they're off travelling somewhere. The service was for the grown-ass Hodor, in fact I didn't even hear a single mention of him before he lost his mind, turns out nobody really cared about a stable boy until he held the door. A little ironically, they held the thing in the weirwoods so there weren't even any doors to hold at the place, though I swear I heard a few howling wolves in the distance, not to mention those four horsemen up on the hill in the distance. All in all I was pretty chuffed to be back home writing about Jose Mourinho. RIP Hodor, but yeah. Some creepy stuff going on.

DD: Yeah well, he did his job right so that's all we can ask for. We'll ease into that crazy stuff up in the North because I want to know about Tyrion's new secret weapon - is it safe to assume that Kinvara (??) is somewhat of a secret weapon and not just a way to get the folk of Meereen on board? Well, more important mate who the bloody hell is she?

WC: She's another graduate of the University of R'hllor, just like Melisandre. A red priest that Tyrion apparently stumbled past on his way to Meereen (or at least he met a few of her colleagues). I'd be skeptical to call her a secret weapon though no more than I'd say the White Walkers were the secret weapon of the Children of the Forest because while initially that's true, I'd suggest that controlling her in the long run is going to be veeery difficult. Mate, she already put Varys in a spin and he's as level-headed as they come. Case and point: look at how well it worked out for Cersei when she tried to use religion to tame the masses in King's Landing... fast forward to now and they're a step away from civil war. Put another way, Kinvara is a level 50 Charizard and neither Tyrion nor Daenerys have the gym badges to control her. As for who she is, we don't know that anymore than we know who Melisandre is but I did notice a hexagonal, gem-encrusted necklace on her.

DD: So you're saying that she could also be a lovely elderly lady when she takes of such necklace?

WC: Hey I'm not suggesting anything, man, though I will say it that early season reveal was pretty overrated. Like, Melisandre soon after resurrected a dead person so that she could alter her own appearance is hardly game-changing. Now, in the books she uses that trick on someone else and THAT was game changing... but we both know the books and show are diverging more than a little. I kinda feel like Meereen is a lost cause but I guess convincing the folks that Dany is some messiah is about the best they can hope for. Will they believe that though? And... should we believe it?

DD: Yeah I'm thinking that Kinvara will have a much more important role in the big scheme of things that just her propaganda purposes. Look at what we have in the north where Sansa and Jon have formed a little crew or council and that's looking pretty similar to the council of wise folk in Meereen. Both have key characters and both are relatively recently formed.

WC: And both are a lot more stable than the council at King's Landing. Just goes to show, a champion team beats a team of champions... although if I was making my small council first draft pick I'd take Tyrion over the rest of his family, no matter the pedigree. Jon Snow, though, he's like... well, not to overload this answer with sports references but he's like Shaun Johnson. Pretty to look at, does things nobody else can, even came back from the dead (tbf, Johnson's broken leg wasn't quiiiite as bad as Jon's injury). But neither is much of a leader, right? Jon's a fighter, but his leadership capabilities are squarely under question after that mutiny and as Brienne said: he's a bit brooding. Honestly, Sansa and Davos are the MVPs of that team, Sansa especially who is finally in charge and she's straight dominating. I'll take the Meereen Gang over the Wall Gang for now but both are on the rise. Both have red priestesses on their side as well, don't they?

DD: Indeed and that's where I was leading. These red priestesses come with an aura of importance and I'm just unsure if that's true of if they are just pawns. Still got Dany heading back to Meereen? She was a notable absentee in The Door.

WC: I do like the way you think there, Doc. As for Dany, she wasn't entirely absent, since she did take a minute to somehow both accept Jorah back and also send him away at the same time, though she's about to find Meereen a very different place when she gets back. Wonder how she'll feel about the little slaver's compromise. I also wonder what all those Dothraki are doing now, presumably they saw the fiery light and are all on her side? Good-o, she can use a few more soldiers. Hey, on that matter... she accepted Tyrion and Varys, same with the Unsullied and Dothraki (though she sorta conquered them, in truth)... how is she gonna like the offer of boats from Euron Greyjoy? I mean, the key to any girl's heart is boats, right? If it works, I'll take a note, but I get the feeling he's more likely to be dragon fodder within a couple episodes.

DD: There's been a lot of focus on the White Walkers and the history around the general northern region, rightfully so perhaps. That's left us with little dragon content to really sink our teeth into and I'm taking what you said in our episode recap about the CGI costs for the wolves further as they can't just roll out dragons every episode and have it all fall under budget. I do think we're due though and what I want to see is similar to how we've been served up history lessons while being knee deep in drama. I want to know more about the dragons and the people who can supposedly control them.

WC: I'm all with ya on that one. What are these dragons capable of? The Stark dynasty has come under the microscope while the Targaryen one gets left behind a bit, one the lords of the north the others of the south. It's even more interesting with the book's hint-hints about the Three Eyed Raven being a probable Targaryen too. That's the way of this show though, isn't it? We beg them for one answer and when we finally get it it opens up three more unanswered Q's. Bloody hydra conundrum. The other thing about those two families is that one represents fire and the other ice. A song of fire and ice. That doesn't strictly mean they're at odds, in fact I reckon the endgame will be a coming together of them both. But getting back to my last thing, that's why Euron is doomed. He is water, he has no chance with the fires. Oh, that and he's a dickhead.

DD: Sorry dragons took over my mind, Euron clearly doesn't have much of a presence in my mind. If we dislike Euron and scoff at his chances of seducing Dany with his wealth, how does Dany get to Westeros? Euron must first get his fleet back from Reeeeeeeeeeek and Yara, or maybe they kill Euron and head to Meereen?

WC: They'll build some more and destroy their economy, Theon and Yara can't have taken them all, just the best few. GoT isn't averse to throwing in new characters and making then significant but he seems like a stretch. Then again... Ramsay Bolton's still breathing. The main question then, how Dany gets to Westeros... well at the mo it doesn't look like she's heading there any time soon. But steady the situation in Meereen and she can always build her own, I guess. But how will Meereen respond to her jumping ship as soon as she's settled? Hence why this whole thing is just weird, there's no long term with Meereen, they're just practice runs and no people wanna feel disposable like that. I guess ending slavery and making a lasting difference is her only chance, really. That and Westeros isn't ready yet so the show needs to stall her.

DD: So the 'Sportsman/womanship' award goes to Dany for freeing slaves and not quite being the best player on the team? It's all pretty weird at the moment when trying to figure out how all the different pieces of the puzzle come together, so let's focus in a wee bit and not get lost gazing off into the distance. Which single character has you the most intrigued about their story right now?

WC: Haha, yeah that's one way to describe it. But the dragons, no matter the production costs, are coming eventually. Oh mate, I am so keen on Bran's storyline this season, everything else has paled in comparison. I wish we'd gotten more of the Raven but so it goes. His is the one that taps directly into the underlying mythology that has fuelled the entire series, from the very first episode, so it feels so rewarding any time we chill with him and Meera (who is a badass herself). Plus it's in completely uncharted territory even for someone who reads the books so it's a new experience for me with all that. Are you all in on Bran too? Or has some other John or Jane (Jon or Jeyne?) got ya full attention?

DD: Well as you and our loyal readers know, I do like Sansa and what she's endured throughout our little GoT journey. Finally she's in a strong position and I feel as though there's something more to her, especially as all the other Stark's have a magical/mystical/awesome aspect to them ya know? Like Sansa must have something up her sleeve and her being in a powerful position is just the start. Last question - is there any little bit of information in that eerie brain of yours that you could share with me and our homies on GoT? A little hint or bit of info that will help us understand something...

WC: Yeah I love that Sansa is finding her calling, I see her as the new matriarch of Winterfell. The rest do as they will with their powers while she bosses the north - which she's quickly showing she's better at than any of the rest of them. Umm, mate I dunno. I'm all over all sorts of weird theories and bookish hints, mostly this last week it's been stuff about the Others and all that. I'll say this: Bran and Meera are doomed without a lil help as things are - they don't even have Hodor (RIP) to carry them, nor a wolf to defend. So that means we're likely to see some new ally appear and unless it's something completely out of the blue I'd guess (and I can only guess) then it'll be either: a) some wildling friend of Jon's, b) Bran's lost uncle Benjen or c) Coldhands, beloved book character as of yet unseen. Basically, they never explain who he is but it's suggested he might be a White Walker, yet a good version of one. He helped them find the Raven in the books, guiding them from north of the wall onwards. I hope it's him, since that'll unveil a few more secrets about those icy bastards and their motives... like possibly confirming my current disposable theory that maybe the Others aren't 100% evil like we're led to believe...

WC: Bran and Meera certainly won't last too long in that blizzard ... with those cheeky wights chasing them. I like it, I love Monday nights. Hold the door mate.

DD: Ah yes, I will hold the door. Just as you will hold the door, we all will hold the door. It's a metaphor, really, for living a generous life and helping others in need. Hodor, aye? Teaching us all the meaning of a fulfilling life. Hold the door indeed, Doc. I'll be seeing ya.