The Niche Cache

View Original

A Game of Thrones Convo: Guess Who's Baaaack?

After that wild and dramatic last episode of Game of Thrones, there's still plenty to unpack ahead of the next one. Like, whassup with Jonny Boy now? Is Cersei finally wresting back control of King's Landing? Does anyone still care about Daenerys' plight? What exactly is a warg? And holy crap Hodor used to talk!? Yeah, so clearly the Diggity Doc and Wildcard had to have a lil chat about it all.

CLICK HERE TO READ TNC'S SEASON 6 EPISODE 2 REVIEW


Diggity Doc: El Wildcardo, Jon Snow is back, he's alive and Melisandre's magic works ... not that she knows it just yet. That's all fine and dandy, it reassures us as the viewer that we were right all along etc. but what do you have on Snow's immediate agenda now?

Wildcard: Well, Doc, I wouldn't be 100% just yet that Snowbags is all fine and dandy. Not saying he'll die again coz what'd be the point in that but, ya know, the dude's still got like 40 stab wounds and he was clinically dead for a while there. Plus, mate, it's gotta be cold on the wall wearing nothing but a strategically placed loincloth. I guess the next step is the toughest one... the big reveal. Like, cool he's breathing. But everybody assumes he's dead so now what? He just walks on out and picks up business where he left off? In the long term I s'pose that's exactly what he does, though short term there are gonna be plenty of Watchers staring like they've seen a ghost. So to speak. Who'll be the first to discover him, gotta be Davos right? It was his idea and all.

DD: I was picturing Snow popping up at breakfast the next morning, making the Night Watch's Weet-Bix taste that much better. Actually, I was alluding to what waits for Snow outside of the confines of their little fort at the wall. Ramsay Bolton is now the overlord of the North, he's got unfinished business in his Sansa hunt and we kinda know where Sansa is heading.

WC: You think she's leading them to The Wall? I dunno, I can't imagine them catching up to her while she's got the Dynamic Duo of Brienne and Poddy to protect her. Plus I'm a little worried the Watchers won't like the taste of that brekkie given that there was a long line of people in that stab-a-thon and only two were arrested (and also one had his head popped by a giant). Could be more than awkward, especially depending on how much Jonny remembers - which could be a real problem, that other dude from season three used to say every time he got revived (it happened like seven times) he felt like he lost a piece of himself. Not as much as he'd have lost by the alternative but ya know. I'm a bit confused about the unforeseen legalities of this whole thing. Is... is Jon Snow even Lord Commander any more? I mean, he died and they replaced him. Maybe he gets to be the first person ever to hold that office twice or maybe he's free to go and swoon some more wildling lasses (such as, say... Daenerys).

DD: What is Sansa and her gang's mission now then? This is where we see the importance of goal-setting, something that motivational folk love to harp on about because without a destination or a goal, Sansa is wandering around in snow with devil Bolton somewhere in pursuit.

WC: Well, the hounds are well fed after this week's happenings so Sansa doesn't have to worry about that much. I reckon they've got a big head start on the chasers but you bring up a good point... say they get to The Wall... then what? All Brienne cares about is helping Sansa, all Pod cares about is helping Brienne. Theon's off home. I think I remember Sansa and Jon weren't the best buds coz she's a princess and he's a bastard but I kinda get the feeling that won't be a barrier any longer. But Sansa's hardly gonna go off stabbing ice buggers north of the Wall, is she? I know she's been bullied around so much but she's also the one Stark kid without any real purpose or agency. The rest all have a destiny, Sansa doesn't even have a wolf anymore. Any theories? She gonna marry Dolorous Edd? Maybe learn to swing some Valyrian steel? There must be some calling out there for her...

DD: My bet is that she's heading right to The Wall where she and Jonny boy will link up. As you said, there's some sort of mission or quest for all the Stark kids but Sansa (and Rickon). Maybe she has a magical gift herself, maybe she's the true dragon queen, maybe horrible things just keeping happening to her? I'm picking that her and Brienne will rule the Iron Throne, just don't ask me how.

WC: They pretty much said they're off to The Wall, so I get that. All that'll stop them is some sort of complication... you know, like this show is famous for. What if, Doc... bear with me here, I think I know how I can make your dream come true. Say that Sansa heads north. On her way she runs into some of the northern houses that are pissed at Young Lord Bolton for how completely psychopathic he is. She is discovered (glowing locks the giveaway). They pledge allegiance. She gathers an army. They take back Winterfell and unite the north. Theon gets the Iron Islands onside. Jon gets the remains of Stannis' folks onside. Dorne joins in coz they hate the Lannisters. They storm King's Landing from all angles and Sansa is restored as Queen. Revenge on the Lannisters. Her first task as Queen is to restock The Wall. Just think on it a second.

DD: Wow mate, Wildcard R.R. Martin himself has waltzed on in! I like it, the only problem is my newfound appreciation for the Lannisters which came to a very confusing climax in episode 2. I like Jaime, Cersei and Tommen so I want the best for them but I'm struggling to see how that could play out.

WC: Yeah... I had a similar thing with the Lannisters but as soon as Tyrion left I decided I was out. Burn them all. Except maybe for Jaime. But especially burn FrankenFreak, that guy scares the bollocks off of me with those dead eyes. Pun intended. Please tell me you're not on board with that abomination too, Doc.

DD: Well I've only come to like the Lannisters this season and yeah, FrankenFreak is part of that. He's Cersei's Brienne ya know and anyone who can splatter a head against a brick wall is pretty damn cool. I like the Lannisters more than the crazy religious people, put it that way.

WC: Okay, yeah I'm with you there. Not entirely comfortable with those sparrows. Basically all of King's Landing is beyond my interests at this point so the sooner Sansa's Northern Army comes storming through the better. It's weird coz the Lannisters started as these spoilt brats and now they may hold the throne but they've lost basically everything else. Except for a few debts to repay. So you're on Cersei's side of the Mummy-Wifey thing? I reckon it's notable that there hasn't been much Margaery yet and she must have an ace left up her sleeve. Or more likely... her badass nana will.

DD: Mummy-wifey thing? I just liked how Tommen realised what a worthless prick he's been and he's willing to ask for help ya know. It's like Cersei's (and Jaime) single-minded focus for revenge has been sharpened by Tommen's cry for help ... which suits Cersei just fine.

WC: Well Tommen got caught in a bit of push and pull between the two ladies in his life. Ha, but yes. There are more ideal candidates for the throne. Okay mate. Shifting focus now. My boy Bran is out there chilling beneath the seeing tree and strolling around in his past life acid trips with the Raven, last time he even met his family in the old days... AND HODOR COULD TALK! I always suspected that there was more to that fella and now I know it. Any theories what happened to poor Hodor?

DD: An encounter with a creature from north of the wall could be fun ... I'm assuming you've got a theory?

WC: I reckon he accidentally warged with a horse and didn't know how to go back. So he's actually a horse. Maybe. Probably not.

DD: Interesting ... well as long as Bran can get around, then I don't care who or what Hodor is. Oh and fight off the Night's King when he pops up, yeah, good luck Hodz. Matey, I didn't even spell warg (/worg) correctly last week so I think I - like many others - aren't as knowledgeable about it. You got the basics written down in your notebook?

WC: Mate, my notebook is basically just the novels last time I read them. But lucky for you I'm about knee deep in the fifth one at the mo'. Yeah so... I don't really understand it... but by the seems, some people are just born gifted to where they can pass their consciousness into other animals, though it's about as rare as rare gets. That and also the ability to be a greenseer as well, not entirely sure what it means but it's what Bran does with his visions. And Bran has both of those gifts, so he's basically Kevin Durant, big man size and the handles of a guard. Now, Bran probably ain't much on the b'ball court but that lad is a psychic goldmine. You've given me shivers there too Doc because while the threat of winter is always there unspoken, you just reminded me that we haven't seen the Night's King or any of his minions yet. Very eerie. (I wonder how his one-outs with Jon Snow goes now that they're both reincarnated dead). But let's not go there. Let's go to something you wrote about Daenerys earlier in the week because I also did not miss her last episode and I won't miss her this one if she isn't there. Obviously there is power in her future but I'd be (hypothetically) perfectly happy if they Bran-ed her out of the show until she gets to do something new/interesting. I'm actually at that stage now.

DD: Especially when there's a certain dwarf who loves dragons .... and he's funny.

WC: Yes, exactly. And right now that funny dwarf is busy adding 'dragon tamer' to his CV (which currently reads: drinks and knows stuff), meaning that he's basically doing her job. Unless Dany is commanding that Dothraki army within her next three scenes I really don't care anymore. Which sucks because she's still one of the best characters... imagine if Don Bradman was from Latvia and the finest cricketer of all time never got to play internationally because all the other Latvians were trash. That's Dany. She needs to do what LeBron James is always doing and lather her contract in player options so she can threaten to leave if she doesn't get help.

DD: Unfortunately for Dany, she doesn't have many options right now and that leaves her storyline slightly up in the air. One final question for you Wildcard - the Iron Islands is a wee spot that confuses me. Theon is heading back there right? And he's going to arrive to find his father's dead and that there's a new king ... chosen by Kingsmoot?

WC: Pretty much, yeah. The Kingsmoot is something I get the feeling will have been more interesting in the books, I'm not sure how interesting it's gonna be to watch a bunch of old lords argue over who should be king... or queen because most viewers are probably backing Theon's sister Yara. She might be the only one happy to see Theon back too, they're a weird bunch over there. Very proud, proud to the point where it hurts them. I reckon they'll slide under the radar a bit.

DD: I dunno chief, GoT is getting rather mystical and the Iron Islands are all about the sea gods. Remember for ice (ice and fire) you need water ... just a little bit of scientific wisdom to finish with from yours truly. Cowabunga Wildcard, I'll see you in the office on Monday night. Don't forget the chicken nuggets this time.

WC: Ah, clever thinking Doc. Very clever. I guess I'm just not as pumped for an older storyline now that Jonny Boy's back. We all knew that was happening but none of us know what to expect next. It's almost like the season starts now. I'll bring the nuggets, mate, don't you worry about that. What is dead may never die.