So… hands up who had Big Ed in the ‘Last Returning Character to Show Their Face’ sweepstakes? Yeah, me neither. Tell the truth, I’d gotten pretty used to the theory that they were saving Audrey until right at the end for something special. They still might be but, you know, all out of the blue and everything there she was.

I’ve read a few things from people complaining about that scene, I’ve read a few things to the contrary. Seems that the issue there is that the things which made her kinda cute and precocious back in the day when she was 17 or 18 really aren’t so endearing upon a middle aged woman. She was instantly recognisable… but something seemed a little off. Typical Twin Peaks trick, sure. Right up until she opened her mouth and started talking, then it was the Audrey we all knew and loved… although it does appear she hasn’t quite matured in the same way that Bobby has in all that time.

Bugger trying to figure out what was going on in that scene. Audrey was trying to find someone and her husband was kinda getting in the way. All this really empty talk about deadlines and paperwork. No idea. All these references and names that we have zero context for. No idea. But that was Audrey sure as her uncle wears tie die.

Milquetoast: A person who is timid or submissive. Audrey uses that word in literal conversation and it might be the first time in 50 years that it’s ever been broadcast on telly outside of spelling bees and re-runs. The whole scene was like that with this really staged performance to it. The paperwork on the desk felt like a prop. The pauses in between sentences felt too deliberate. The phone call felt like a one-sided conversation. This isn’t a criticism though. In fact it’s a regular tool of David Lynch’s, to sorta dilute these things down to the most mundane situations and then present them as such – another way that he keeps the audience guessing. We’re so used to swinging at curve balls that we don’t read the fast ball that flies like an arrow over the plate.

I don’t know what to make of New Audrey. Clearly she’s been beaten down over the years. Her son sure ain’t much of a keeper. Seems like that marriage is something of a sham too, based on how they speak to each other and a couple of the things they happen to mention. Plus there was the bank explosion. Hardly a stunner that she’s not the sultry femme fatale of old but there was enough here to think she’s still got that in her somewhere. And I don’t really care who Billy, Tina, Chuck, and Paul are just yet.

Although I will say that a few episodes ago a random ran into the Double-R Diner asking if anyone had seen Billy. Billy is the dude Audrey’s been sleeping with who’s gone missing. Interesting.

What’s up with Sarah Palmer though? First off, lady you’ve gotta get a handle on the drinking there, seriously. Didn’t look like there was gonna be a whole lot of red in those Bloody Mary’s, if you get the drift. Then she freaked out at the grocery store. Then she got frosty with Hawk when he checked on her. Now, I might be wrong here but it seems highly unlikely that it was the Turkey Jerky that pressed a button for her. Sarah has a long history of psychic intuition and the main thing I was stuck with was the grocery store/convenience store comparison. Too close to the evil spirits, perhaps.

Then again, she’s also an old woman living in the same house in which her daughter was repeatedly assaulted by her husband, in which her niece was murdered by the same husband. She’s living there with the memories of that dead daughter and husband. Lotsa stuff to handle even without the psychic intuition.

Unless she’s gonna play a Log Lady-esque role though, it’s hard to think how she factors into the story any more. Then again, that’s probably exactly what she’ll do. I’m picking a reincarnation of Laura on the way so… seems like Sarah’s as good a judge as any. This episode was probably the longest we ever saw her without a cigarette too.

Ben Horne misses his old bike and he’s gonna pay for Richard’s damages. About as expected. He really did clean his act up, old Ben. Plus it looks like Jerry finally made his way out of the woods (hoe had nobody called the cops – does he do this all the time?). Also Jacoby’s hard at work with his transgressive internet show and Nadine remains his staunchest admirer. Anything else? Oh yeah they had a big ol’ establishing shot of the red door only for a brief comic scene of Sonny Jim throwing a baseball at Dougie’s head. After Dougie was the hero of the whole last episode.

Let’s also take a moment to acknowledge that Hutch and Chantal straight up murdered Warden Murphy. And Carl wants some trailer tenant to stop selling his blood. “Keep your blood,” he says. I never even considered we’d get as much Harry Dean Stanton here as we have done. Absolutely beautiful.

Hahaha, and Gordon’s date.

The folks at the end were another oddity. One dude was even named Trick. It’s not the first time that they’ve chosen to introduce new characters over the final sequence at the Roadhouse, in fact it’s been a regular thing. That was how we first saw Shelley, Red and James. Actually it’s the only time we saw James. There was Richard’s intro amidst those girls who haven’t been back again. Don’t forget Sky Ferreira’s rashy appearance as well. Presumably all will have roles to play, big and small.

Same for Diane. The question of whether she’s on the side of goodness or bad is still a valid one but there’s no doubt at this point that she’s communicating with EvilCoop and it also appears rather clear that Albert and Gordon are aware of this. Probably as a ploy to catch the bugger. They’re following her texts and yet still allow her in on important briefings. Those coordinates on Ruth Davenport’s arm lead to Twin Peaks? Well, that’s about right. Seems like we’re all converging on the Peaks again.

And when Gordon and Albert offer to deputise Diane (after also giving a hefty promotion to Tammy), she stubs out her ciggy, cocks her fingers and says: “Let’s Rock”. Just like the arm did once before, many years ago.

Click an ad on The Niche Cache and we’ll let you see all our hidden coordinates. We’ll even call up Tina for you so we can help find Billy. Deal?