The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - Week 9
Last Week: 5/10
Overall: 38/80
Tottenham Hotspur vs Liverpool
Welcome to the Premier League, Mr Klopp. Please don’t be put off by the chants from opposing fans. Please don’t doubt the designer jeans or the fancy frames. Don’t cut your hair or shave the stubble or start speaking with a Scouse accent. And especially don’t feel like you have to change your style of footy to suit the bloodthirsty, uncultured masses. This is a massive boost for the Premier League having you here, you don't need to compromise for us.
Damn, but a tough game to start with. Spurs have really sorted themselves out after a slow start (which wasn’t even a bad start, just a slow one) and they haven’t lost since the first weekend of the season. On balance we’re looking at the fifth and sixth best teams in this competition, we just don’t know the order. Granted, Everton might have a lil moan about that thought, but they had their chance to put Liverpool down and they didn’t take it.
Liverpool have had the wood over Spurs recently but they haven’t been a good team on the road in 2015. I give Spurs the edge at the back, in the middle and at goalkeeper, but Harry Kane still isn’t feeling it while Dan Sturridge is. It’s hard to say what might happen. The New Manager Boost is surely in play here and it’ll be fascinating to see how Klopp sets them up. We know he likes the rapid pressing/counter attacking stuff but that requires high fitness and intricate coaching, the likes of which you don’t learn in the space of a week mid-season and with half your first team squad away on international duty.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-2
Manchester City vs Bournemouth
The biggest losers of the latest international window were the Dutch. They didn’t even qualify for the EURO playoffs, meaning the 2014 World Cup semi-finalists will miss the tournament altogether. Robin Van Persie scored a hilarious own goal.
But the second biggest losers were… no, not Scotland, but Manchester City:
- Sergio Aguero: Hamstring tear, out at least a month.
- David Silva: Will miss three weeks with an ankle knock.
- Aleksandar Kolarov: Doubtful with a hip injury.
Add that trio to Vincent Kompany’s ongoing calf issue, Fabian Delph’s recurring everythings, Yaya Toure and Samir Nasri’s minor issues and Gael Clichy’s pre-season surgery and you have a pretty depleted team.
Having said that, playing against Bournemouth at home probably isn’t gonna much of a test regardless. Pellegrini reckons he might play Bubba Sterling as a striker (he can’t finish but he’ll make stuff happen – guts to Bill Bony if that happens, he’s a player who needs an extended run) and the Citizens did bring in Otamendi at CB in the last window, so they’re not exactly shocked whenever Kompany gets hurt. They don’t have a fit left back though, which is an issue. (Again, maybe not against Bourney whose best winger, Max Gradel, won’t play again this season). But following this game they have the not-so-small tasks of Sevilla at home in the Champions League and Manchester United away in the Premier League and that’s where the absentees will be sorely missed.
Wildcard’s Pick: Manchester City by a spare couple goals.
Crystal Palace vs West Ham
Arguably the league’s two most impressive away teams. You can make a serious case too that the best signings of the last transfer window were Yohan Cabaye and Dimitri Payet. This is one of a bunch of games this week that could realistically go in any of the three ways. I like both of them, I’m non-committal.
Wildcard’s Pick: Eh, 1-1
Everton vs Manchester United
Also known as the Wayne Rooney Derby.
I’ve read curiously the growing whispers that Wayne Rooney is interested in going back to Everton someday. I kinda agree. It’s been a long time since he left them in controversial circumstances (Everton fans always seem to be ones to dig their heels in over transfers) and as captain of Man United, it’ll be a while before he ever goes back. But I reckon he might in a few years. Rooney’s down on form at the moment and that doesn’t mean he’s never gonna get it back though he does look like a player who, when he does get old, will get old fast. I doubt he’s the type to ‘do a Scholes’ or ‘do a Giggs’ and stay relevant to a title contending team in his mid-late 30s. And I think he’d like to return and finish on better term with the Toffees. He's a family man now, our Rooney, and Everton were his childhood team.
In the meantime he’s got a job to do at Goodison for his current lads. Seamus Coleman and John Stones ought to be fit and Ross Barkley is in the form of his life (Romelu Lukaku not playing too shabbily either) so this will be a tough one.
Two opposing patterns:
1) Man U are fantastic coming out of long breaks. This is a club that has had key midfield contributors aged 30+ for a while now, so that’s not a huge shocker. Over the last three seasons (plus this one), when playing after at least 10 days rest they’ve won 11 of 15 games, losing only once and outscoring opponents 37 goals to 12.
2) Over that same length of time, Goodison Park has been an impossible place to play. Everton have won three times in a row against United at home, keeping clean sheets in all three. And that one defeat United have had recently off long rest? 2-0 away at Everton in 2013-14.
Wildcard’s Pick: United to find a way, so shoot me
West Bromwich Albion vs Sunderland
The Big Sam Guide to Management:
- Find a club near rock bottom.
- Let them know they’re desperate and there’s no better option.
- Take the job like you’re doing them a favour.
- Take shots at your last club for sacking you.
- Take shots at Barcelona and Arsene Wenger or anyone else who advocates ‘tippy tappy’ football.
- Sign Kevin Nolan.
- Kick the lads up the arse a couple times.
- Avoid relegation.
- Consolidate that the next year with a lower-mid-table finish.
- Get sacked the next year for playing boring despite bringing drastically needed stability to the club.
- Repeat from the start.
Bit weird for a former Newcastle manager to take over with Sunderland, in fact he’s the first man in history to boss them both. But then his time with the Toon wasn’t exactly happy, Big Sam probably holds a bigger grudge than most Sunderland fans. Plus, of course, he used to play for Sunderland back in the day. 25 league games between 1980 and 1981.
Wildcard’s Pick: A draw sounds about right
Southampton vs Leicester City
The boldest prediction of all of these may be this one: Jamie Vardy will not score this week.
He’s scored in his last five games in a row, if he makes it six then he’ll be just the fourth Englishman to achieve that in the Premier League, after Michael Own, James Beattie and Dan Sturridge. But he won’t coz he won’t score.
Leicester have been proving me wrong for most of this season by riding their rapid attack despite a leaky defence. I say: ‘this ain’t sustainable’ and then they go out and win again (they’ve scored and conceded in every game so far). But Arsenal out-powered them a few weeks back and Southampton have been the best defensive team outside the top four for a few years now. If the goals ever dry up for the Foxes, trouble will be brewing.
Sounds like Jordy Clasie might finally be ready to make his PL debut for the Saints too. Good news.
Wildcard’s Pick: Southampton 2-0
Chelsea vs Aston Villa
Word on the street is that if Tim Sherwood doesn’t get a win in his next two games then he’s for the sack. Sad thing is those next two games are away to Chelsea and then home to Swansea (followed by: Southampton (A), Spurs (A), City (H)). Not that you can complain after you’ve already lost to… well, every team you’ve played except for an opening day win at Bournemouth and a home draw with Sunderland (the worst team in the Premier League). Oh, sure, and a couple League Cup wins against lower league teams. Villa need a win worse than any other team.
Except maybe one: Chelsea.
By the way, here’s the funniest Tim Sherwood tweet I’ve seen yet:
Wildcard’s Pick: Blues will come right eventually, a 3-0 win will help.
Watford vs Arsenal
“Theo is a given name, deriving from the Greek word Theos which means god.”
It’s all starting to make sense now…
It’s crazy that Walcott’s only 26. It’s only taken him a decade to go from ‘untapped potential’ to ‘unfulfilled potential’ to, finally, ‘living up to the hype’. His performance against Manchester United last game was brilliant, maybe the best he’s ever played. Even before that he was at least scoring goals. I’d like to #humblebrag that I was on board with the Theo = Striker theory from the start, though of course that meant it would eventually payoff against my own team. Goddammit.
Wildcard’s Pick: Let’s say Arsenal, 3-1
Newcastle United vs Norwich City
After the All Blacks finally broke the streak of teams wearing black not being able to win at St James Park, Newcastle should finally be able to make something count now. It’s been grim but Steve McClaren will probably sort them out in the long run. Maybe even in the short run. I mean, it’d be nice. I just bought Aleksander Mitrovic for my fantasy team, so… yeah. Banking on this one.
Wildcard’s Pick: Newcastle 1-0
Swansea City vs Stoke City
And so we finish on a Monday night in Swansea. A personal rule of mine is that you always give Swansea a chance at home and when they’re playing Stoke, I think that’s a double chance.
After all, it’s been that kind of week for Welsh football.
Wildcard’s Pick: Swans by a goal