Last Week: 4/10

Overall: 64/140

Stoke City vs Manchester City

Yes, an early game! A Saturday night just isn’t the same without cramming in a bit of footy at the exact moment in the night when you most wish you were in bed asleep. Unfortunately it’s a City game, but that blow might be lessened by the return of David Silva who is, no matter who you support, one of the three or four best players to watch in this whole league. He’s up there in the global ranks too, only narrowly behind Roly Bonevacia of the Wellington Phoenix. For international readers, you’re missing out:

It’s been a great week for Stoke already after they beat Sheffield Wednesday to advance to the League Cup semis and managed to get Ryan Shawcross’ suspension out of the way in that one so that he’s free to play City. He makes a massive difference. Stoke honest-to-God have not conceded a Premier League goal with him on the park this season, keeping three clean sheets in a row before stumbling to a 2-0 loss against Sunderland after their captain had been sent off. That record ends in this game barring another early bath.

There’ll be no Joe Hart and there’ll be no Pablo Zabaleta but Sergio Aguero is a possibility and so is Vincent Kompany. They both play and City will win by a couple of goals. One or none of them and there’s maybe only the one banger in it.

Wildcard’s Pick: City 2-0

Manchester United vs West Ham United

Here go West Ham, trying to complete the City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, United set of away wins. Manchester United and Spurs are the only undefeated teams at home remaining but the Hammers are actually a large part of that, since they inflicted Arsenal’s only home loss, as well as one of Liverpool and Man City’s two (Liverpool were the other side to beat City at the Etihad, while Pool also lost to Palace).

West Ham’s problem is that they’ve gotta do this without Dimitri Payet, Enner Valencia or Diafra Sakho. That doesn’t leave a lot of creative potential beyond Andy Carroll’s head and Victor Moses’ pace. The Argentinian lads (Lanzini and Zarate) are likely to be soaked up by United’s dep midfield and while United don’t seem to bother much with breaking teams down these days, they’re normally good for a goal or two at home. Considering they’ve conceded a total of three goals in 12 home games this season (all competitions), you can see they’re doing at least one thing right. Chris Smalling has the measure of Carroll and Anthony Martial is bound to do something. He or Juan Mata.

For the record, two of those home concessions were in Champions League victories – a flukish Michael Carrick OG vs Brugge (W 3-1) and a fourth minute goal to Dan Caligiuri for Wolfsburg (W 2-1). This is the only other goal Old Trafford has seen leaked in 2015-16:

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 United

Watford vs Norwich City

Credit to Norwich on a top effort in getting a point off of Arsenal – especially after falling behind. That’s the kind of result that could make the difference at the end of a long campaign. But I’m sorry to inform the Canaries faithful that Watford have been the most impressive promoted team this season. Can’t completely get on board with a team that has Heurelho Gomes in goal, but Troy Deeney is only eight games away from equalling Jamie Vardy’s consecutive goals streak.

In the Championship last year, Norwich actually pumped Watford 3-0 in both games. That just makes me wonder, frankly. I’m also wary whenever two teams built upon foundations of strong defence come up against each other. There tends not to be much breathing room.

Also, neither of these teams are getting relegated, so as you know.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1

Southampton vs Aston Villa

Aston Villa’s season in a gif:

If we learned one thing about Southampton from their 6-2 shellacking at the hands of Klopperpool, it’s that they aren’t the same team without Jose Fonte. Not even with Virgil Van Dijk there. As good as he’s been, you can’t entirely rely on a dude who’d wear a sweater like this:

That’s Graziano Pelle there with him, btw.

Fonte should be back for this game and as such it’s difficult to imagine how Villa are getting anything from the south coast. It’s difficult to imagine how they’re getting anything from this season at all, really. After 14 games, they have fewer points than the team with the worst ever points haul in a season had at the same stage (Derby in 2007-08 – Villa beat that team 6-0).

Wildcard’s Pick: Saints 2-0

Arsenal vs Sunderland

Good news Arsenal fans! Santi Cazorla is out for three months with a knee injury. Oh, no wait. That’s terrible news.

Ah, well, chuck him on the pile. Laurent Koscielny should be back for this one, thankfully, but:

Alexis Sanchez – Hamstring – 3 weeks
Kieran Gibbs – Calf/Shin – Doubtful
Francis Coquelin – Knee Ligaments – 2-3 months
Mikel Arteta – Calf – 1 week
Theo Walcott – Calf – 1-2 weeks (maybe a bench spot here?)
Jack Wilshere – Calf – At least another week
Tomas Rosicky – Knee – 1 month
Danny Welbeck – Knee – 1-2 months

… All of whom are all currently lining up outside the physio’s room waiting for their latest setback. Only Bournemouth currently has more injuries. How exactly this keeps happening is completely insane. Wenger talked has about how he doesn’t endorse PEDs to aid recovery (in a way that hinted that everyone else does) so maybe that’s it. If so, there’s another example of Arsene going for the moral high ground. But that doesn’t cover the fact that Sanchez said he was feeling the hammy a little before the Norwich game and Wenger still put him out there to do further damage to it. Whoops.

Sunderland’s best hope is that the Arse are lost without their usual midfield. Sanchez is their main creator, Ozil is a facilitator who is at his best when those around him are being positive and making runs and without Sanchez there you can probably expect some stupid people to say how bad Ozil’s playing once again. Plus whatever they do at the base of midfield is a question mark. Santi Cazorla has played more minutes than any other midfielder in the league and not only is he gone but so is Le Coq. And Arteta’s probably out too. So… Ramsey and Flamini? Could Calum Chambers play there (he has been for the U21s)? Some unknown kid, perhaps? Jeez, that’s bad. Probably shoulda brought in a new midfielder there, Wenger.

Having said that, they’re only playing Sunderland. Expect Lee Cattermole to get booked for an ugly tackle, probably about 30 minutes in.

Wildcard’s Pick: Arsenal 1-0

Swansea City vs Leicester City

11 In a Row: A Tribute in Verse

Here’s to the man they call Jamie Vardy

Ripping through goals like a kid with his yardie

Hungry and rapid, tenacious and hearty

When the ball’s played behind he’ll never be tardy

He’s sharp and alert, just a little foolhardy

In the city of Leicester they’re having a party

Great big shindig, like in Rio the Mardi (Gras)

When it gets cold, don’t forget your warm cardie.

Finding words that rhyme with Vardy is getting pretty hard.

E.

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-2 sounds about right

West Bromwich Albion vs Tottenham Hotspur

One thing I definitely don’t see happening is WBA breaking Spurs’ unbeaten record. I wonder how different their season would be if they’d held on to a point against United in the first game. The pressure and the scrutiny of the undefeated season, we’d already be talking about it. And it’d be even wilder because, of course, the only team to go unbeaten through an entire league season since the turn of the 20th century was their greatest and closest rivals: Arsenal (2003-04). Considering that Harry Kane started off with a bit of a confidence crisis – one that he’s completely recovered from now – it might have been a focus worth avoiding even despite the success it would have come with. This is still Spurs we’re talking about, people. They don’t believe it any more than we do.

Wildcard’s Pick: Spurs by a goal

Chelsea vs Bournemouth

Did you notice how much better Chelsea were without John Terry or Diego Costa? Costa especially, he’s played so terribly this season that he’s making Wayne Rooney look five years younger, though Costa’s personality and nationality probably keep him from the same scrutiny as Rooney. Not that the English media ignore him, it’s more that they focus on certain things besides his performance. Like throwing bibs at his manager:

"If he wants to hurt me it would not be with a bib.” – Jose Mourinho

What would he hurt you with, Jose? His fists? A knife? Maybe some fruit?

Nah, most likely he’d pester him right up until the point that Jose snaps and lashes out and the club will have no choice but to sack him for misconduct. Can’t have managers hitting players now, those days ended with Brian Clough.

Bourney should get a fair bit of confidence from their comeback against Everton but Chelsea have kept three clean sheets in a row in all comps while AFCB don’t look like they’re too adept at keeping them out themselves. They haven’t blanked a team since September. If Eden Hazard starts up front again (which was a roaring success in my mind vs Spurs) then he’s got at least two goals in him.

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 Chelsea

Newcastle United vs Liverpool

Hey look I’m happy enough for Jurgen Klopp that he’s avoided the new manager pressure that so many others have had to work through. He’s a top bloke and a wonderful personality to add into the mix of Premier League managers, a refreshing one too. But, God, I cannot stand hearing ex-Liverpool players talking about how good they are all of a sudden. Bloody Jason McAteer, no kidding, said they were gonna win the World Cup now. I’m assuming he was speaking tongue-in-cheek (as a man who played several times as a professional, he surely knows the different between club and country – although he was a Scouser who played for Ireland so who knows?). All because they pumped an under-strength Southampton team midweek in the League Cup? Of course they won, they had all the Saints best players.

But having said that, they really are playing much better these days. The energy and the direction is back – just imagine if they had Luis Suarez in there! Can they win the Premier League? Well I said on The Niche Cast (iTunes link left sidebar) that I initially felt they’d started too slow, left too many points on the board, but then nobody else is running away with the title. Not like Chelsea did last season. Had City been healthier than they’d probably be ten points up by now (just look how they started) but they aren’t and they aren’t. City, United and Arsenal are all in genuine contention. However so are Spurs and Liverpool, from a slightly greater distance. Any one of those five is only a month’s winning streak away from a solid lead at the top. Good old Jurgen, who wants to bet against him?

Not to cast a shadow on Brendan Rodgers by proxy or anything though, poor fella, because a Liverpool victory here and he could be right back into management a lot sooner than anyone expected…

Wildcard’s Pick: Liverpool 2-1

Everton vs Crystal Palace

Everton, one of the PL’s best home teams, up against Crystal Palace, one of the PL’s best away teams. There’s an unstoppable force/immovable object dilemma for ya. Everton’s only two losses at Goodison have come against the Manchester Clubs, while Palace’s only two away losses were 1-0s vs Spurs and Leicester, and they sit sixth on the away results table despite having played at least one (if not two) fewer away games than all five ahead of them. This game is a Tuesday morning special for NZ audiences, a fixture that Palace didn’t cope with well the other week when they lost to Sunderland. These Monday nighters… they worry me. It feels like there’s an added chance of anomaly results and for that reason, I might just play it safe to finish off the week’s picks. (Which in itself is a bit of an anomaly since CPY have only drawn once all season). Romelu Lukaku vs Scott Dann will be a belter.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1