Flying Kiwis – May 18
Winston Reid – West Ham United (English Premier League)
Welcome back, Winnie. Good to see ya again before the season ended.
Yup, Reid returned to face Everton, putting in a solid performance at the heart of the defence. Not quite enough to hold onto a draw though as Everton stole a late 2-1 victory thanks to Romelu Lukaku's injury time winner. So it goes, this game was a playoff for European football, but not in the usual ways. Nope, one of these two teams was almost certainly gonna get a Fair Play boost into the Europa League qualifications, thanks to however the hell UEFA do these things. Picking Winston Reid to play does actually suggest that West Ham don’t really care about that, granted. He picked up a yellow in the game, but he was the only one and Everton got four of 'em.
Stays at West Ham, still might get to play in Europe. How about them apples?
There’s a serious issue here about the depth of this squad, the travel and the fixture congestion that might take a toll on the Hammers, especially as they financially cannot afford (literally) to be relegated when they move into the Olympic Stadium the season after next. But let’s just assume they don’t go all the way in that comp. They've got one more game in the Premier League this season and cannot finish lower than 12th.
Up Next: Newcastle vs West Ham, 2am Sunday (NZT)
Tommy Smith – Ipswich Town (English Championship)
Ah, and so it ends. The Premier League dream, halted sharply for another year. Ipswich had their chances through the season, they were top for a while there before falling almost out of the playoff race. But this was an unheralded team from the start, built on scraps and academy graduates. Just to make it this far was beyond most expectations.
After the 1-1 draw in their home leg against Norwich, they had to travel to their rivals and somehow get a result. 45 minutes in, and so far so good. Still at 0-0, they could have even led had a penalty shout gone their way.
But then it all swung in an instant. Ipswich lose the ball on halfway and Norwich counter attack at a rapid pace. Sliding the ball into the winger Nathan Redmond as he charges inside towards goal, he cuts inside his man and fires past the keeper… only for Christophe Berra to handle it away on the line in a desperate lunge. Red card. Penalty. 1-0.
Except just as it seemed the season was slipping away, up stepped Tommy Smith. A real poacher’s effort to equalise, getting in behind the defensive line from a deep free kick lobbed right into the mixer and poking it away from the keeper then into the net.
Yeah… but then four minutes later Redmond scored and then Cameron Jerome sealed it with quarter of an hour left. 3-1 the final, 4-2 on aggregate. Norwich play Middlesbrough at Wembley for a spot in the Premier League next week while Ipswich can start their holidays now.
Ooh, but we got some absolutely ripping quotes from Mick McCarthy afterwards. Some legendary quotations, after some of the Norwich fans invaded the pitch and weren’t exactly gracious about their big victory.
“Listen, I’ve seen Middlesbrough cock-a-hoop on the pitch last night and the same with Norwich today. Well one of them is going to be as sick as a seaside donkey, just like I feel now. It makes no odds, they’ve got to win it. Even if we’d have won today and lost at Wembley I’d have still felt sick. Good luck to the two of them. One of them is going to be coming back and seeing my kipper again next season though.”
Also: “There are some muppets who come on and want to abuse you but hey-ho. That’s generally from a distance. I hope they enjoyed themselves.”
Also also: “There were some numptys running around and giving the usual w****r sign and all that. So what. It’s nothing. They’re generally not the bravest are they?”
Up Next: …
Chris Wood – Leicester City (English Premier League)
Woody spent another week as a non-used substitute as Leicester City drew 0-0 with Sunderland for the most valuable point of their season. He actually hasn’t played since being recalled from loan as cover for the team’s plethora of injured strikers.
But maybe he’ll get his chance next season, because while his former loan side Ipswich fell short of promotion to the Premier League, Wood’s parent club survived to try fight off relegation for another season. That draw at Sunderland coupled with Hull City’s loss means that somehow, someway Leicester have defied the odds to stay up. They were dead in the water a few months ago, but then all of a sudden they turned things around just like that. 19 points in 8 games, it’s been one of the all-time great survival efforts.
Up Next: One last chance, home to the doomed QPR. Set the alarm for 2am Sunday (NZT)
Ryan Thomas – PEC Zwolle (Dutch Eredivisie)
They do things differently in Holland. Instead of just handing the last Europa League spot in the Eredivise to fourth place, they have a small playoff series for it. Fourth plays seven, fifth plays six and the winners meet for entry in the second qualifying round of the EL. Well, Zwolle are in that playoff series, to face Vitesse later in the week.
That’s after a 3-0 win over Feyenoord that sealed sixth spot and kept their opponents in fourth to have to scrap it out for the same option. Tied at half time, Zwolle opened the scoring soon after the break through Ben Rienstra. Then it was Ryan Thomas, finding plenty of space from a switch of play, driving into the box and recovering well after his attempted cross was blocked. As he tried to turn his marker, he drew the contact and won a penalty. Thomas had almost broken the deadlock earlier too, drawing a fine save from Kenneth Vermeer a little after the HT restart. Rick Kasdorp, who conceded the penalty, was given a straight red for the last man tackle. Ryan was subbed off after 73 mins. Tomas Necid scored the spot kick and added salt to the wound in injury time with Zwolle’s third. Highlights here.
Up Next: Zwolle vs Vitesse, 6.45am Friday (NZT)
Marco Rojas – FC Thun (Swiss Super League)
It took two equalisers for Thun to earn a 2-2 draw at home against FC Zurich, but that’s fine by them. The draw means that with three games remaining, Thun are guaranteed a Europa League spot next season. We don’t really have any idea what the chances of Rojas remaining on the Thun roster into next season may be, probably slim at this stage, but it’s an achievement all the same.
Rojas was back on the bench for this fixture. He entered the game with 12 minutes to play and the scores level at 1-1, but five minutes later they were behind again from a set piece. When you need a little bit of magic, maybe get the ball to the fella (unimaginatively) dubbed ‘The Kiwi Messi’. They did. Rojas finding some space in the box and slipping a ball across that Michael Siegfried side-footed home through the traffic. Thun equalising within minutes of going behind, just as they did in the first half. Click here for un-embed-able highlights.
Up Next: 5.45am Thursday at St. Gallen (NZT)
Bill Tuiloma – Olympique de Marseille (French Ligue 1)
Marseille Reserves promotion secured, the first team back near full strength and trying to snatch back the final Champions League spot after a few straight wins (they’re two points back with one game to play), Bill Tuiloma’s done for 2014/15. Instead he’s on his way back to God’s Own where he’ll captain the New Zealand Under 20 side at the U20 Word Cup at the end of the month.
Tui leads a pretty handy looking squad, too. It’s largely built from local players who’ve been preparing for this stage with either the Wellington Phoenix academy or the Wanderers side in the ASB Premiership (which is basically the U20s in its concept), but there’s also Tuiloma from France, Nik Tzanev (Brentford FC, ENG), Jesse Edge (Vicenza Calcio, ITA), Cory Brown (Xavier University, USA), Stuart Holthusen (Akron University, USA) and Monty Patterson (Ipswich Town FC, ENG).
Up Next: The U20WC kicks off Saturday May 30 at 1pm. NZ vs Ukraine, get there (NZT)
Jeremy Brockie – SuperSport United (South African Premier Soccer League)
Have a glance at the final SAPSL table, it was decent going from Brockie’s boys. The former Nix striker scored 10 goals, tied for top scorer on the team, despite playing only about half the season.
He’ll have some company next campaign too. It was a badly kept secret that Michael Boxall was following his buddy from Wellington to Johannesburg, and that’s now been confirmed. Best of luck to ya, lads.
Up Next: The existential crisis that is the off-season.
Kosta Barbarouses – Melbourne Victory (Australian A-League)
We don’t usually reserve any space for the A-Leaguers among us because, well, the games are all on telly anyway. You know how they’re travelling, even the newspaper people watch them. But special mention needs to be made of Kosta Barbarouses after he was instrumental in helping his Melly Victory side to the A-League championship on Sunday night, scoring the second goal in a 3-0 demolishing of a talented Sydney FC. Kosta’s pace and creativity angling in from the wing was massive as Melbourne attacked the game from the very kick off. They were indomitable and comprehensive, with no mercy for their opponents – who included another All White in Shane Smeltz. It was Kosta’s second championship in his second grand final (he also won with Brisbane in 2011) while for Smeltzy it’s 0-2, he was a part of the Perth team that fell to Brisbane in 2012 (after Kosta had left for Greece). But at least this time he won’t need facial reconstruction too.
Up Next: P-A-R-T-Y