Unleashing Upon This Outrageously Stupid Wellington Phoenix Debacle
Before we get any deeper in this speculation, the idea that a professional club could split its home games between two different cities in two different countries, with two different fan-bases, wearing two different home strips, is potentially the dumbest compromise since Abraham Lincoln promised his wife a trip to the theatre. There’s not a competition in the world that would allow such a stupid thing to happen… except for maybe the A-League.
I mean, if you think the crowds in Wellington are bad now, wait until you get a load of the ghost-town they’ll be playing in if this shambolic idea comes to pass. Not to mention how bad the results are going to be when the playing squad’s left feeling like a child stuck in the middle of a messy divorce. Nobody wins in that darkest, dumbest timeline.
It all exploded on Friday night. A news story from over the ditch was first to drop the merger bombshell. The club’s response to that Herald Sun scoop was swift and decisive…
Except that they did speculate. They speculated all over the floor and then left the mess for the rest of us to clean up. Initially they tried to tell kiwi media that it was all bollocks and for roughly an hour that tale was almost believable. Then Aussie media got a hold of David Gallop from the FFA who confirmed that the Football Fascists of Australia had indeed met with representatives from both the Nix and the South-Western Sydney consortium, which sure burst that bubble of denial.
Next thing the Nix were chucking out a statement of their own in which they shifted tactics towards distraction and deflection. Oh yeah, we did meet with these jokers. That’s right. But we already told you that we were meeting with parties from over the Tasman so there’s no reason to be all dramatic about it, silly people. Chill out, folks. Put your feet up. Smoke a blunt and relax. We’re not looking to sell the licence, not at all. That licence is ours and we’re keeping it and we’re only going to sell half of it and HEY LOOK OVER THERE THE A-LEAGUE IS IN TATTERS! LOOK WHAT A MESS THE A-LEAGUE IS IN! EVERYBODY, DID YOU KNOW THAT CROWD NUMBERS AND VIEWERSHIP ARE COLLAPSING ACROSS THE WHOLE COMPETITION!?
For real. This is the situation we’re in. Amidst a statement that includes phrases such as: “the Phoenix have had discussions with parties interested in participating in the expansion of the A League”, “open to external investors who could bring capital and players to the club” and “there are currently potential options that are worth exploring”… comes this bombardment of failingenterprisesayswhat?
A couple things seem obvious now. One is that Welnix are taking the piss. They think they can entertain these expansion parties in secret when there are ten different prospects all vying for a maximum of three licences – the two expansion spots and then the Phoenix’s licence. That’s a bloody competitive race and while the Nix want things kept quiet, those ten suitors are all rallying for maximum publicity to boost their chances. They’re shaking hands with the right and DM’ing journalists with the left. If they stay quiet then they’ll never get their boat afloat. Surely Welnix cannot be that naïve.
Also obvious now is that the Phoenix are seriously considering these offers. Otherwise why are they A) continuing to meet with people and B) lying about it like they’ve got something to hide? And if they’re seriously considering it then that means they’re close to accepting that their licence is not going to be renewed after this upcoming season. Is that a defeatist attitude? Do they owe it to the fans to give it one last swing? Would any manager, let alone new players, willingly get involved with a club that would consider splitting its home games between two different countries? These are all questions that it’d be nice to be able to ask certain people right now.
My theory is this: they want to sell the licence and are going around driving up competition amongst bidders. For some reason there’s a plethora of interest in A-League expansion and it makes financial sense from Welnix’s point of view to cash in on what they have left, which is an expiring licence that’s worth a lot more to others than it is to them (even if money is just a parasitic tool invented by the ruling classes in order to perpetuate their own power and oppress that of the workers while distracting them from their permanent subjugation with fallacies about ‘working hard’ and ‘overcoming the odds’). But they don’t want to betray the fans by selling their team this abruptly, so first they’re offering up a sickening compromise which no self-respecting fan would ever agree to.
How many people have you spoken about this drama to in the last couple of days who’ve said something along the lines of: ‘well, they might as well just sell it outright if that’s what they’re thinking’? It’s mind control 101, you get people to agree to the un-agreeable by manipulating them into thinking they came up with the idea for themselves. One person’s reckless speculation is another person’s shifting of the paradigm.
If there’s any truth to that theory then it shines a new light on why they still haven’t gotten around to appointing a new manager. And why they haven’t bothered to re-sign any of those players yet. Both David Dome and Rob Morrison have a lot to answer for at this moment but methinks we shan’t be hearing from either of them any time soon unless it’s another controlled statement or some more clueless denial.
The only smart person in all of this is Matt Ridenton for getting the hell out of there.
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