It was a season that began as open as any in recent history. New managers in Manchester, with Chelsea and Liverpool coming off terrible campaigns the time before. Spurs carrying the damage of their poor finish in the last title race. All five of them cut no corners in looking to swipe back Leicester City’s crown while Arsenal… at least they bought Granit Xhaka. But another year of St Totteringham’s Day, despite long odds with a month to go, was another reason to think that maybe this’d be the time it all happened.

It looked alright for Arsenal when they smashed Chelsea 3-0 in September but all that did was force Antonio Conte’s hand and he immediately made the drastic switch to his preferred three-man defensive system and, folks, the title race was never the same. Thirteen straight wins and Chelsea romped to the title with the biggest points total since Jose Mourinho’s first Premier League in Blue. Spurs pushed them to the line but there was no catching them, Tottenham instead settling for second with enough points to have won the previous season with a week or two to spare.

But the title is one thing, the real honour is being named in one of these three teams of the season, tiered accordingly of course. Each team is picked in a 4-4-2 base formation and is more about recognising the players in their positions than it is picking cohesive XIs – though the positions naturally have to be pretty flexible. The weird stuff is explained, don’t worry. Now here goes…

FIRST XI

GK – David De Gea (Manchester United)

Don’t worry, he’s the only Red Devil in the first team. Thibaut Courtois ran him super close and it coulda gone either way but you have to respect the greatness of DDG, who’s probably the best goalkeeper in the world at this stage (Manny Neuer notwithstanding). Didn’t make a heap of saves thanks to… what was probably more a defensive mindset than a strong defence at Man Utd but he made saves that nobody else in the league could manage. 14 clean sheets in 35 games, only 29 goals conceded. Hopefully we haven’t seen the last of him in England.

RB – Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur)

Last season Walker was a surprise standout at right back, surging into the first choice for England as his speed and attacking impetus was coupled with a defensive stability and season-long consistency. He said it was coming, he backed it up. He then went and backed it up again this season and it’s gonna probably earn him a very large transfer fee now.

CB – David Luiz (Chelsea)

Few woulda picked it – he wasn’t even playing for Chelsea when the season started. A transfer that felt like a desperation move immediately proved a slice of genius, however, as Luiz settled into the lynchpin role of that famous 3-4-3 formation. He’s the central central defender. He steps up in possession and drops back without it, he’s physical in the challenge but this stint he’s coupled it with a remarkable discipline and maturity as well. So much for the ‘kid with the playstation controller’ jab.

CB – Cesar Azpilicueta (Chelsea)

Ah look, another Chelsea player. Squeezed out on the left the last two years, Branislav Ivanovic’s eventual departure seemed to open up his favoured right back role but instead he ended up dominating at RCB. Arguably the underrated force in that Chelsea XI (now that Kante’s a PFA Player of the Season) and that’s a shame. Azpi is actually the best defender of the lot and he gets this first team spot ahead of a couple superb Spurs CBs. One of five men to play every minute this season.

LB – Marcos Alonso (Chelsea)

Dammit, another Chelsea player. Of course it’s another Chelsea player. Alonso came in with Luiz on Deadline Day and together they gave the team the personnel to switch up formations and the rest is history. The sight of Alonso galloping down the flank was a common one, the joker scored six Premier League goals! Yet another perfect fit on this Chelsea team.

RM – Alexis Sanchez (Arsenal)

El Uno Pequeno carried this Gunners team on his tiny back for so much of this season. People criticised his body language, he had that incident in training, he’s been rumoured away all season. But Sanchez was brilliant, once again. He played in every game (twice off the bench) and responded with 24 goals and 10 assists – the only player with double figures in both. There’s nothing more they coulda asked of him… now they just gotta keep him.

CM – N’Golo Kante (Chelsea)

Come on, you don’t really need this one explained. PFA Player of the Season, the first player since Eric Cantona to win back to back English league titles with different clubs, an 88.8% season passing success rate, second most tackles, third most interceptions… and that’s for a Chelsea team that doesn’t have to do as much defending as most, being champs and all. Kante’s the best, no arguments will be accepted.

CM – Dele Alli (Tottenham Hotspur)

Slightly cheeky having him as a central midfielder but, you know, close enough. Alli is just a little more deserving than a couple other candidates so here he is. Any how can you deny him? 18 goals with 7 assists out of midfield, doing it at the age of 21 as well. So much for the second season slump. Alli won his second PFA Young Player of the Year award while still playing with flair and boundless creativity. Never change bro.

LM – Eden Hazard (Chelsea)

He’s back. Turns out last season was an anomaly because The Haz returned this time arguably even better than he was a couple years back. The close ball control is unrivalled in this division. His ability to swivel on a dime almost the same. Hazard humiliates defenders and with 16 goals he’s doing the same to goalkeepers too. He links up with teammates, he even does a bit of defensive work on occasion. This chap is a gem.

FW – Romelu Lukaku (Everton)

Poor lad had his golden boot ripped from his grasp in the final week of the season but don’t let that overshadow a fantastic season. Everton had a strong one (despite how it ended) and Lukaku’s work up top was the main reason. Always a great hold-up player, he’s added some real touch to that lately and when you give this guy a chance, he tends to take it. 25 goals in 37 games. Crazy he’s only just turned 24. Could even get him a move back to Chelsea, imagine that.

FW – Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur)

The man who stole the golden boot. Ha, ‘stole’! Harry Hotspur earned every last shimmering speck of it as he scored back to back hatties to finish the season off in style. There’s no doubt he’s a Premier League hero with 21+ goals in all three of his full seasons, the question now is if he’s on par with the world’s best. Who cares about silly debates, though? Kane scored 29 goals in 30 games, despite missing two extended spells with ankle injuries. And he’s one of their own.

MAN – Antonio Conte (Chelsea)

Who else could it be? We will find a way or we will make one… Conte did both in equal measures over a long and supremely impressive first campaign in England. The team spirit in that squad was incredible considering where they were a few months into the last season. Tactically ground-breaking, emotionally stimulating, physically demanding and intellectually superior. Everyone else was fighting for second best.

SECOND XI

GK – Thibaut Courtois (Chelsea)

The unlucky runner-up here, he actually conceded one fewer goal and had two more clean sheets than De Gea (granted in an extra appearance) but luckily there’s no shame in settling for the second team. Always steady between the sticks, good for the odd killer save as well. Courtois is that rarest of rare things: he’s a goalkeeper you never have to worry about.

RB – Antonio Valencia (Manchester United)

Once a winger, then a makeshift fullback… now a genuine gun at the back. Tony has gotten better at his defensive stuff over the years without losing that simple yet combative attacking mindset. His first half of the season was flawless and although he hasn’t played much lately, burning out towards the conclusion, he’s an easy selection here – which says plenty about the way he’s reinvented himself.

CB – Toby Alderweireld (Tottenham Hotspur)

There’s a big new contract coming his way if he wants it and nobody’s gonna argue that Toby doesn’t deserve it. Drops back outta the first team this season, he wasn’t quite as good this time out, but still one of the premier defenders in the league. Anchors the best defence in the division too, though he coulda done his first XI stakes more good with a few extra goals – the dude is a beast from set pieces.

CB – Jan Vertonghen (Tottenham Hotspur)

Joining Alders here is his CB partner and teammate Vertonghen, who was the leader of that defence before Alderweireld arrived and quite arguably out-played him this time out. No worries at all when they’re on the same team. Between Chelsea and Spurs, there were no other challengers for the top four CB spots – all just a matter of what order. Vertonghen thrived while Alders was injured, a crucial period of time, and adds that extra layer of silkiness to that defence.

LB – James Milner (Liverpool)

Milner was actually the last player to be confirmed on the list here because I didn’t really wanna put a central midfielder playing left back on the second team. But looking around… there was nobody else. Nacho Monreal? Danny Rose? Chris Brunt? Well Rose only played half the season and, sure, the other two were considered but neither stood up to Milner’s case. Watching him ceaselessly cut back onto his right foot to cross is frustrating but the dude was remarkably reliable. I guess that’s kind of what he’s based his career on. Scored 7 goals as well, mostly penalties. Good for you Jimmy.

RM – Philippe Coutinho (Liverpool)

Haha, this guy. Missed out on both prior Wildcard Teams of the Season, always controversially, but then he’s looked an enigma to me in the past. Lots of flash, not so much cash. However he put (most of) that to bed this time around with a superb campaign, scoring crucial goals and terrorising defences like he ought to. Jurgen Klopp’s getting the best out of Phil, 13 goals and 7 assists in 31 games. You’ve earned this one the hard way, laddie.

CM – Victor Wanyama (Tottenham Hotspur)

Sneaky one here but Wanyama did so much for Spurs. Not technically as good as Mousa Dembele but he plays far more regularly and the Kenyan’s transfer in has helped Tottenham overcome their reliance on their Belgian midfielder. Ruthless in the challenge, increasingly good on the ball, extremely hard working… feel free to make Kante comparisons if you want.

CM – Paul Pogba (Manchester United)

Oh, you think Pogba sucks do you? Did you happen to watch him play closely? United aren’t half the same team when he sits, Pogba dominates the midfield like few others. The transfer fee didn’t do him any favours and he probably didn’t hit his own expectations but Pogba has the complete package. His passing is limitless, he towers over other midfielders, his control is (usually) superb and the only thing he lacks is the finishing touch. Find that and he’ll be a first team fixture for a decade.

LM – Christian Eriksen (Tottenham Hotspur)

The man who pulls the strings. Eriksen sees opportunities before they’ve even happened, like all the great playmakers he simply views the game in a different way. Nobody created more chances than Eriksen. Plus this time he added the goals to the formula with 8 of them suckers to go with 15 assists. The Dane is such a crucial cog in the machine and a wonderful player to watch control a game around the opposition penalty area. A gift, really.

FW – Diego Costa (Chelsea)

Nutcase that he may be, Costa was back to his best this season. Lots of shots and lots of work – both things he didn’t show in Mourinho’s last months. Lots of goals too which always helps, 20 of them in fact. Maybe the most impressive of all is how long he walked the line on his last yellow card before getting that one game suspension (ten games!), this is definitely not the same bloke we stomping and sulking around. There was still some of that off the park and there’s a good chance he won’t be back again. But if so he’s leaving on the right note.

FW – Sergio Aguero (Manchester City)

Incredibly for a season in which the narrative has been mostly a negative one for Aguero, he still scored 20 goals in 31 Premier League matches. Plus a bunch more in other comps. Had to deal with an apparent tough fit with the new manager and then had to deal with the wonder kid Gabriel Jesus (watch out for him in next year’s teams – calling it now). And yet Aguero still remained magnificent, still scored goals for fun, still made the sublime look ridiculously easy.

MN – Mauricio Pochettino (Tottenham Hotspur)

Like his team, Pochettino is second place only to Chelsea and Antonio Conte. He has his squad playing with an energy and fluency that for a while there had them rated higher than the Blues but then they got outclassed in the FA Cup semi. Ah well, maybe next time. What’s most endearing is that Spurs didn’t limp to the finish this time – their last two games they won by a combined score of 13-2 and there were 12 victories from 13 league games to close.

THIRD XI

GK – Kasper Schmeichel (Leicester City)

Tough season for Schmeichs. Leicester put together a title defence so flimsy they were staring towards relegation when Ranieri was sacked. Schmeichel, though, was the one player in that Leicester team who actually improved this time around (well, unless you count Kante). Hugely formidable and uncannily sharp with a long ball too. Beats out solid seasons from the likes of Fraser Forster, Tom Heaton and Petr Cech, plus much-more-than-solid seasons from Hugo Lloris and Jordan Pickford.

RB – Seamus Coleman (Everton)

His 2016-17 ended early thanks to a horror injury on international duty. Up until then he was out there putting together his best season in about three years (he was magnificent in 2013-14). Getting forward with purpose, defending soundly at the back. He’s good enough to play at a club higher up on the table but Everton fans love him and he was a big part of their work this season. 43 points in the 26 games he played, 18 in 12 without him. Fingers crossed he bounces back to full fitness, otherwise Nathaniel Clyne will be out for his spot back.

CB – Laurent Koscielny (Arsenal)

His moronic tackle in the last game of the season was hard to overcome in selecting this lad but I had to acknowledge that for most of the run he was imperial at the back. Their Champions League collapse (of no consideration here) came with him off the park. It was Shkodran Mustafi’s huge drop in form that mirrored Arsenal’s own, the Frenchman Kosc did his job finely right up until… almost the end. Their second best player behind Sanchez and looked equally dominant in that three-man defence too.

CB – Steve Cook (Bournemouth)

Yup, Cooky. This was a difficult one to call with a number of other central defenders in consideration. Kiwi lad Winston Reid would’ve topped him if only he’d been able to play a few more games and keep a few more clean sheets. Spurs and Chelsea are already well-represented (Gary Cahill sucks so he misses out), Liverpool have no defenders (though Joel Matip made the shortlist). Nic Otamendi made my third team last time when I backed him up against some criticism but I thought he regressed this time (not a great fit for Pep just yet). As for Man United, they split time evenly between four defenders so none stands out. Leaving a spot up for grabs. Michael Keane and Ben Mee were great for Burnley, Ashley Williams was typically commanding, Virgil Van Dijk was superb until he was hurt, Ryan Shawcross always does his job and Ben Gibson is a rare Boro player who deserves to stay at this level. Steve Cook, however: Played every single minute for Bourney and comfortably led the league with 352 defensive clearances, also topped the league in interceptions with 76. He has to do plenty of defending for Bournemouth and there were some very bad days yet Cook was rarely to blame. Super underrated, this bloke. At only 26 he ought to be in the international conversation too.

LB – Ryan Bertrand (Southampton)

A lone Saint in the XIs, lucky for him that probably means a big money transfer elsewhere. Already gone into the left back situation (Luke Shaw was Jose’d, Aaron Cresswell injured and out of form, Leighton Baines is looking older, etc.) – Bertrand is reliable and effective. There’s a lot to be said for that. Narrowly edged WBA’s Chris Brunt and his killer left boot – but he’s a winger as much as a fullback for Tony Pulis.

RM – Sadio Mane (Liverpool)

Could’ve gone higher if he’d been fitter and not had an African Cup of Nations to play but Mane still logged in three more minutes on the park than Coutinho did. There was a while there when Liverpool couldn’t win without him, even. But that late season form for Philippe made the difference there, get a full season of Mane (who it was once theorised lacked the technical ability to perform for Klopp… ha!) and he’d be all the way up there. 13 goals and 5 assists in two thirds of a season. So fast, so dangerous. Special Liverpool mention for scoring in both Merseyside derbies – including that injury time winner at Goodison.

CM – David Silva (Manchester City)

It was a pretty tough year for central midfielders, it seems. Jordan Henderson out injured for quite a while (or he woulda been here – though not in place of Silva) while Michael Carrick’s pretty old these days too. Fernandinho spent the end of the term as a right back. Wilfred Ndidi was only there four months. Silva is perennially underrated and had another strong campaign, he would’ve been here either way but he gets the nod at CM at the expense of cases for Joe Allen, Darren Fletcher, Gini Wijnaldum, Mousa Dembele, Nemanja Matic, Sean Livermore, Oriol Romeu and Danny Drinkwater. Kinda broke my heart that I couldn't fit Adam Lallana in either.

CM – Ander Herrera (Manchester United)

Also beating out those names is this fellow. Herrera deserves heaps of credit, he’s gone from being a fringe player under Van Gaal (who always deserved to play more, to be fair) to being utter first XI under Mourinho. Full of fire and energy, he’s not always the best in the challenge but he must be a nightmare to play against. Passing’s really strong too. Sweet as.

LM – Kevin de Bruyne (Manchester City)

Amidst a strong group of attacking midfielders, in the end it was too much to overlook the assist king himself. 18 of those bad boys for KDB. Had his ups and downs for City but when you set up a goal every second game you know you’ve done well. Such a wonderful passer, so much vision. KDB gets the jump over fellas such as Wilf Zaha, Matty Phillips, Son Heung-Min, Roberto Firmino and Robert Snodgrass.

FW – Gylfi Sigurdsson (Swansea City)

Take out Iceland’s finest and the Swans would’ve been relegated for sure. He was directly involved in 22 goals while missing only 111 minutes the whole way. Six assists for Fernando Llorente in particular. In a season where so many goals were scored by attacking mids, Sigurdsson forces his way in as a striker because, let’s be honest, he was better than Joshua King, Christian Benteke, Jermain Defoe and a couple others. I mean, Defoe’s team got relegated. Swansea better get real under Paul Clement now if they’re gonna keep Gylfi around, another relegation fight is well below his abilities.

FW – Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Manchester United)

A little overrated, gotta admit that even as a big Zlatan fan. He scored lots of goals but he also took lots of shots – the deal with Zlatan is that it all runs through him. In some ways they’re better with Marcus Rashford but you still have to credit Zlatan for nine glorious months. Some great goals, some dirty moves. We definitely got the Zlatan we wanted to see, fingers crossed it ain’t the last of him.

MN – Eddie Howe (Bournemouth)

Look at it this way: It’s not gonna be Arsene Wenger or Jose Mourinho. Pep Guardiola was expected to do better than he has, despite a great start and a great finish. Ronald Koeman threatened to challenge the top six and in the end got nowhere near it. Most other teams regressed or finished too far back to be relevant. What does that leave? Pretty much just Eddie Howe, Jurgen Klopp and Tony Pulis. Considering what West Brom did once they hit 40 points, Pulis is irrelevant. And wonderful effort that Liverpool had under Klopp, I rate the way Howe snuck this Bournemouth team (despite their minnow status and their ineffective transfers) that little bit higher. There was a period of fear there when relegation seemed an outside chance and they responded with a wicked run of form. Josh King scored a heap of goals, Jack Wilshere revived his career, a top ten finish in the end… don’t sleep on Eddie Howe’s success.

MULTIPLE HONOURS & TRIVIALITIES

This is the third season that I’ve done this big-ass thing and that means it’s worth recognising the recurring faces. From last year’s first team, Dimitri Payet doesn’t even play in England anymore (though while he did he was on pace to repeat) and a bunch of Leicester players clearly didn’t do it again. Neither did Mesut Ozil, haha. But Kyle Walker and Harry Kane retained their spots, the legends. Kane is the only lad to make three firsties in a row.

Alexis Sanchez, David De Gea, Cesar Azpilicueta and Eden Hazard all make their second appearances in the first team, having been selected two years back.

Mauricio Pochettino has to settle for second place the second year in a row in the managerial stakes. Gutted for him but it’s pretty hard to have a better effort than the champs which has been the case all three years. He’s the first manager in three years to be picked in two different seasons.

And Poch’s situation is better than his boy Eriksen’s, who has now made three second teams in a row. If he’s lucky then Sanchez or Hazard will transfer away and open up a spot for him. Three recognitions in a row, though. It’s a small handful of players who can match that. Harry Kane, obviously. David De Gea can as well, two firsts and a second. Sergio Aguero has two seconds and a first. And Toby Alderweireld has one of each. If you’re listing the four best players of the last three seasons then that quartet is a pretty decent one.

Making their second squad this time are: Thibaut Courtois, Seamus Coleman, Laurent Koscielny, Ryan Bertrand, Cesar Azpilicueta, David Silva, Eden Hazard, Alexis Sanchez, N’Golo Kante, Dele Alli, Kevin de Bruyne, Gylfi Sigurdsson, Romelu Lukaku and Diego Costa.

Not included after two straight selections prior: Hugo Lloris, Nathaniel Clyne and Aaron Cresswell.

In terms of teams represented, no shocker that Chelsea and Spurs lead the way each with seven picks and a manager. It’s a big drop off from there but Manchester United have five blokes while City and Liverpool have three of them (though safe to say that were there a fourth team, City and Liverpool would overtake their sixth placed rival – the United lads benefit from Mourinho’s almost complete lack of rotation). Everton and Arsenal have two noms while Southampton, Bournemouth, Leicester and Swansea each have one.

WC’s 2015-16 Teams of the Season

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