Kiwi-on-kiwi crime is the elephant in the room, or the moa on the Kiwi County Tour bus. This is when we're graced with kiwis on either team - County or Super League teams - and while this often provides a righteous experience where everyone involved enjoys a few runs and/or wickets, sometimes those runs/wickets come at the expense of the kiwi on the other team. Suzie Bates' first game for Southern Vipers was a lovely example of this as she tonked Holly Huddleston around and Huddleston fell victim to the ancient KCT no-ball curse, luckily this was just a warm up for Bates and her bang bang Bates explosion against Loughborough Lightning didn't involve any kiwi-on-kiwi crime.
Little is known about that KCT no-ball curse either. I've seen players struck by this curse after refusing to buy us all coffee, I've also seen this curse in action when players forget to use their manners. We can't quite pin-point details about this curse, although it's common knowledge that being a crappy human will usually see you fall victim to the curse. The batting equivalent is a mix-up between the wickets, where the curse infiltrates the batter's dialogue and results in a 'yes, no, wait, yes, no, no, shit' call for an attempted single. This can result in the cursed player being dismissed, or worse, their partner being dismissed; guilty by association.
Game 5: Southern Vipers vs Loughborough Lightning
Of course Suzie Bates was going to go absolutely bonkers in the game that featured no other kiwi but herself, especially no kiwi bowlers in the other team. Bates smacked 119* off 72 balls and batted through the whole innings, hitting 119 of Southern's 180-run total and the three other batters for Southern combined to score 45 runs. Bates went to town, there were 15 fours/4 sixes and as there was no kiwi-on-kiwi crime, we can celebrate Southern scoring 22 runs off Australian seamer Elyse Perry's (and all-round Bates super awesome equivalent) 2 overs, or 16 runs off a single over from England seamer Beth Langston, or 28 off England spinner Rebecca Grundy's 2 overs.
In true Bates fashion, she wasn't finished there and went on to take 3/15 @ 5rpo off her 3 overs. Not only did Bates smack Grundy all around the park, Grundy was Bates' final victim as Bates took the last wicket in the 20th over to lead a Southern skittlin' of Loughborough with the Lightning all out for 134. Bates opened the innings with her bat, batted all the way through and hit a not-out 119 (165.27sr), then she chipped in with wickets in the 12th, 14th and 20th overs.
That's domination, that's the best women's cricketer in the world doing her thing and chur.
Oh and again, why not...
Game 6: Lancashire Thunder vs Surrey Stars
Amy Satterthwaite, Lea Tahuhu.
Far less glorious were the performances of Satterthwaite and Tahuhu as their Lancashire Thunder lost to Surrey Stars. Surrey were first to bat and they reached 133/6 from their 20 overs and our two kiwi bowlers went wicket-less, conceding 9.5rpo and 8.5rpo, plus they both only bowled 2 overs. Tahuhu was the second bowler used and 19 runs came off her 2 overs while Satterthwaite was the last bowler used and 17 runs came off her 2 overs. Tahuhu bowled 5 dot-balls and Satterthwaite could only manage 2 dot-balls (of 12 balls).
Lancashire were then dismissed for 100 in 18 overs, with Satterthwaite again ticking the runs over swiftly but unable to go to the nek level. Satterthwaite came in at No.4 and hit 17 off 15 balls (113.33sr) and Lancashire were on track to chase victory, once Satterthwaite was dismissed in the 12th over though, Lancashire went from 75/3 to 100 all-out in 6 overs. Rene Farrell took 5/26 @ 6.5rpo and skittled Satterthwaite's stumps to spark the collapse, she also snared the wicket of Tahuhu (No.11) for a duck.
These are strange times for Satterthwaite as she hasn't passed 40 runs since the first game of the World Cup (78* vs Sri Lanka). She's batted in six innings since then and scored 17+ in every innings, without going on to play a major role in any of those innings. Because Satterthwaite's lean patch involves 20's and 30's - not ducks or <10's - she is still ranked in the top-10 for runs; 7th with 45 runs @ 22.50vg/109.75.
Bates is the only batter with over 100 runs from two games and as Bates is yet to be dismissed, she ain't got not average. Far more important than centuries or half-centuries is Bates' 166 runs with a strike-rate of 161.16, which is the second best strike-rate of the top-10 run-scorers, but Katherine Brunt has only scored 56 runs with her 193.10sr.
Oh, and Bates is 3rd in wickets. Bates has taken 5 wickets in two games, only conceding 3.83rpo off her 6 overs thus far. Compare that to a trio of kiwis who have 1 wicket and have also bowled 5/6 overs and you'd think Bates were an alien; Satterthwaite's conceding 8.33rpo, Huddleston's conceding 11.80rpo and Tahuhu's conceding 10.15rpo.
Game 7: Loughborough Lightning vs Yorkshire Diamonds (Devine). Sat NZT.
Game 8: Lancashire Thunder (Satterthwaite/Tahuhu) vs Loughborough Lightning. Mon NZT.
Game 9: Southern Vipers (Bates) vs Surrey Stars. Mon NZT.
Game 10: Yorkshire Diamonds vs Western Storm (Sophie Devine vs Rachel Priest/Holly Huddleston). Mon NZT.
Peace and love 27.
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