The Mystery Doctor and the Wildcard talk to each other every once in a while...
Yo yo yo, check my white boy afro - hello Mr Wildcard. I had a bit of a dream during the week, it saw the Breakers and the Wellington Phoenix celebrating together as they had both won their respective Australian competitions. It's a bit greedy though, but do you see both of them contending this season? Is my dream possible of being a reality!?
Well, all dreams are reality in a way. Reality through a mirror, maybe. So sure it's possible but I'd say half of it is more likely than the other. The Phoenix look good but they're still a notch or two below the top few teams in the A-League. Ah, but the Breakers! Top of the league and playing every bit like they deserve it. Cedric on permanent triple-double alert, Uncle Kenny with those put-back dunks, Corey Webster's pull-ups... it's incredible. Other teams have their star players, I doubt any of them have as much depth as the Breakers do. They have every chance of winning and it
Yeah the old Nix have a fair way to go, but it's possible. At the very least it's pretty darn cool that we have Cedric Jackson and Nathan Burns. Two of the hottest players in their respective leagues, competing for our teams. I was going to ask you who you'd rather have, but Cedric is the hands down winner. Or would you rather have Jonathan Wright?
Yeah... it's been a weird week for recruitment. I won't get started on my Trent Merrin anxieties (suffice to say I'm making voodoo dolls and chaining them to Red V embellished attire), but we've also seen fan favourite and occasional goal scorer Jeremy Brockie announce he's leaving to play footy in South Africa in January. Even if he's fallen out of favour a bit recently, his departure leaves a massive hole in the Phoenix roster - but also an opportunity to find a game-breaking striker, like we really need.
Jonathan Wright, he's not a game-breaker. It doesn't make sense to me why the Warriors would buy a guy like that? Does Wright have designs on winning a NSW Cup championship? Coz that's all he'll be playing for. This team has so many up and coming wingers and centres, not to mention established guys like Hurrell, Laumape, Fusitua, Fisiiahi and of course King Manu. Plus they've already made one Average Aussie Back signing in Matt Allwood! It's like they've split Danger Dane Nielson in half. But I guess we won't really have to worry about it. He'll only play in an emergency and he's a decent player at least. A plug. Anyway, I notice your Gunners had a couple cheeky 1-0 wins this week. All must be well in Wenger-ville once more?
I would rather worship Sally Fitzgibbon than Trent Merrin, but whatever floats your boat there Wildcard. Didn't the Nix have crop of youngsters that could do the job? What's the go there, are they injured or just battling away? I mean would you rather have Tyler Boyd or Brockie? ... maybe Manny Muscat will move from left back to bench striker!? At least Allwood is a young player who is apparently pretty good. Wright has been on the scene for a while and is a solid NRL performer but it's just not needed. Many say he'll be a decent squad player, but what's wrong with the squad players they have? I mean if you're the Fish, what are you thinking? I'm thinking that I'm back on the Wenger-wagon! Nah, Arsenal are always going to win games but we're a bunch of fans who want more. We've been ride or die fans for the past 5 years, we now want some rewards.
The Fish has every reason to be upset. His path to a consistent first grade spot's been blocked more times than, well, whoever Anthony Davis is guarding today. Tyler Boyd's another wide forward, and the rest of our top youth products seem to be midfielders or fullbacks. We need a genuine striker up there to finish off those half chances against the top teams. Actually, that's been Arsenal's problem too recently. Good thing for the return of the magnificent Ollie Giroud. You mean you don't wanna wait another 8 years for an FA Cup title? There's a lot to be said for a manager who can keep his team so consistently in third or fourth place. Plus the Champions League group stage is your bitch. Just a shame your lads never get invited to the after-party where all the fun happens. Zlatan picking fights with waiters, Arjen Robben 'accidentally' tripping into women as an ice-breaker, Thomas Muller dancing in his leiderhosen on the D-Floor, Diego Simeone getting drunk and throwing stuff at the band, Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi comparing penis sizes and Frank Ribery sitting in a dark corner plotting how he's gonna kill James Bond. All that's missing is Wayne Rooney vomiting all over the bar after a few too many shots. But United are on a four game winning streak, mate. Next season we'll be back where we belong.
It would be pretty rude if either Fish or Fusitua got pushed down the pecking order because of Wright's arrival. But that would mean Coach McFaddypants thinks Wright is better so not much to complain about there. I get you there Wildcard with the Nix, but I think you're severely under-estimating my Manny Muscat plan. He's done everything but roam around up front and we've got Louis Fenton, Tyler Boyd and Michael Boxall, so Manny's now a striker. The great Wenger, yes and he's kept them near the top of the table while having no money to play with so mad props to him. You sound like you were there to witness all of those shenanigans matey? Something you're not telling me!? If you're getting invited to these events and not taking the number 1 peptide hustler with you, I'd be pissed off #justsaying.
I was there as an emissary of Sir Alex. I'm sure you could go with Arsene if Arsenal ever made it a little deeper in the comp. Maybe this season, who knows? Manny Muscat is a ferocious pitbull of a player. At the back you can keep him on his chain where he only attacks intruders. But let him loose up the park? Either it's the greatest tactical move in the history of football or he literally murders a group of small children. You wanna take that risk? Maybe in the last game of the season if we desperately need a win...
I wouldn't go anywhere with the corpse that it is Arsene Wenger unless we were going to Wet n Wild. Speaking of corpses, I don't condone the mass killing of small children but Manny Muscat supporting Nathan Burns sounds fantastic! When he gets tired of chasing the ball/gets a red for hacking a defender down in the 20th minute, Roy Krishna can come on!
I'd bet Obscene Arsene lit it up in his younger days. He's French after all, the home of debauchery! Get a couple bottles of Chateau Du Cheapwine into him and watch him unload. A Manny Muscat red card is never far from likely, that's why we love him. Getting tired of chasing the ball though? Never! That reminds me of one of the most traumatic sporting experiences of my childhood: when Ash Ketchum's Charizard fell asleep at the Pokemon Master World Champs (or whatever they was called) and cost him a place in the finals. One of the all time great chokes that was. Right up there with Stevie G slipping over for Liverpool and Bill Buckner's error for the Red Sox in '86.
You expect me to be able to reply to a Pokemon reference? Whatever matey, I've gotta go deliver some peptides to Paul Gallen. Peace!
Haha, peace indeed. 'Til next week, Doc!