The All Blacks have shaken off the cobwebs in pool play and now venture into the abyss of quarter-final rugby...
Richie - DC bro, this is it!
Dan - We've made it. We have dealt with the minor hurdles put in front of us and now we are preparing for the biggest rugby game of our lives.
Richie - Biggest game of our lives? What about the World Cup final mate?
Dan - Well we have to get there first, don't we Rich?
Richie - That's true, one week at a time and all that shit huh. I think you've been listening to that mental coach guy a bit too much Danny boy. That mental skills coach guy never talks to me, probably because he can see that I'd teach him a thing or two.
Dan - Lol, we've got a mental skills coach and a mental coach in Shag. Soz mate, just though of that one.
Richie - Yeah good one, I'm sure Shag will love that.
Dan - Shag's too busy figuring out these French lads to give two shits about my jokes.
Richie - You mean he's still up in the bunker looking at footage? We left there two hours ago!
Dan - Fo'sho man, I left my favourite pen up there and he was still there.
Richie - Shag aye, what a guy. I'm not surprised though because those French are bloody confusing if you ask me. Who knows what Shag is seeing in those tapes of their pool games because each of France's performances were different and they were clearly taking the piss, especially against Ireland. Bro, I think they took the piss just so they could face us this weekend in Cardiff.
Dan - Great minds think alike Sir Richie. No one really knows what France are up to, well, I mean we kinda do but those media plebs certainly don't, let alone the kiwi public.
Richie - Do you feel that angst that is apparently gripping Aotearoa by the scrotum?
Dan - Nah mate, it's just a simple game of rugby and if we perform at our best then we will be too good. I am slightly worried, but that's thanks to our lack of execution and not some voodoo history shit.
Richie - It's been strange right? We train alright with good intensity and everyone is catching and passing like true blue kiwis but when we step on the field we start catching and passing like English lads.
Dan - We kept on winning though...
Richie - We kept on winning against teams that we would never ever lose to so that means nothing chief.
Dan - And we and a few of the other fellas got to kick the feet up or pretend to be the waterboy. That sounds like a holiday, not a Rugby World Cup.
Richie - We've both played in a few of these pool games and watched the other pools go to war, how are you feeling about those other teams who have had the tougher pool games?
Dan - Well there's no point worrying about Australia or South Africa or whoever else because it won't matter if we don't beat France. There ya go again mate, getting ahead of yourself. Hasn't history taught you anything?
Richie - Grrr, France. I hope you're ready for a big one DC. I've got this feeling that their forward pack are going to make this game an absolute bitch for our forwards and you'll be battling with slow ball and not much go-forward. They know we love to play fast and like typical French-men they will niggle the shit out of us.
Dan - Well ya'll better get busy then hadn't you?
Richie - There aren't many teams who can match our forwards with physicality, mobility and skill. Wait, there are NO teams that have that combination but France have hard working forwards with those Dusatoir and Picamoles guys low key beasts. Shit, I'm kinda scared now. But what about you and your battle with ya homie Fred Michalak?
Dan - Ah, Fred! He's such a great guy, almost as handsome as myself and he's probably more suave than me. Fred reflects France in my eyes. Fred can win a game playing solid, smart and simply footy but he can also churn out the razzle dazzle and put a few points on the board.
Richie - What's if France pick Fofana and Bastareaud in the midfield as well?
Dan - Well that would be tricky wouldn't it because they are both good runners of the footy. I'll probably just let Conrad chop both of them down ... and then when they cut back in field I'll probably just hope that you are there. France have some talent don't they?
Richie - They sure do DC and she's going to be a cracker. How do these games rank in your mind compared to all the other games we've played?
Dan - To be honest Rich, I couldn't give a shit about all the games that are played in the four years between World Cups. I barely even played during that time, I just let Aaron and Beaudy do the work yet here I am. These games are the biggest with so much on the line, in a foreign land against a team who will be the underdogs. Which is why I'm playing - I'm the big dawg.
Richie - Amen to that. We're two of the greats, how could we only win one World Cup Who starts on the wing?
Dan - Nehe, fuck I love Nehe he's the man.
Richie - That footwork boy.
Dan - Shag texted me, I've gotta get up to the bunker. He wants to talk about Freddie Michalak, I'll bounce and catch ya after dinner.
Richie - Tell Shag to take a break and hit the bong first, dude works like crazy.