Richie has watched a youngin' take his place and Dan's been watching Richie watch that youngin' take his place...
Dan - G'day bro, how was that slugfest against Namibia?
Richie - DC the great! It was good mate, I quite like sitting on the bench and soaking it all up. Where were you anyway?
Dan - France was calling bro. I had to suss out my new crib and I certainly had to try out a few wines, in fact I can't actually remember watching the game against Namibia.
Richie - Typical DC huh? Always off gallivanting somewhere and ditching the boys.
Dan - Cry me a river mate, you and Shag told me to get away for a few days. Sounds like you had a few too many English ales if you can't remember that conversation.
Richie - English ales and that good English herb mate, it does the trick for the pain relief.
Dan - Ah, is that your secret!
Richie - Well that and tiger blood but I digress. What'd you make of our win over Namibia?
Dan - It was aiiiiiite, nothing special to be honest. Don't you sometimes wish that we had a time machine and could just fast-forward these next two games, take us straight to the quarter-finals. Nah jokes, I love watching you lot face these smaller teams because they just want to kill the All Blacks and I'm on the sideline so it's great!
Richie - She was brutal mate, I'll tell ya that for free. Namibia are like, wait, where's Namibia?
Dan - South Africa bro, they are like South Africa ... I mean they are near South Africa and it's more of a Australia and Aotearoa situation. You got to sit and enjoy the Sam Cane show right?
Richie - Sure did buddy and I loved it. I just love watching someone else go through all the bullshit that I have to go through. Dumb journalists asking dumb questions, just getting way too far ahead of themselves, it gets old super fast. Even Cane-o asked me how to deal with this one journo who I've had a few issues in the past with.
Dan - Ah, he who should remain nameless?
Richie - You know the one mate, thinks he's a big shot but really he's a scummy piece of work.
Dan - That's why I never wanted to be captain and was happy to let you be the chief, I'd just tell them all to fuck off.
Richie - Diplomatic as ever DC. Who has tickled your fancy so far in the World Cup?
Dan - I'll ask you about England in a jiffy, but I'm a bit worried about Australia and South Africa. Thankfully I skipped that game against Samoa in Samoa because they are ruthless but South Africa were far more ruthless-er and that's got me scared. That Handre Pollard kids runs the footy like me which pisses me off, could you give him a whack from me Rich?
Richie - Give a Springbok first-five a whack and deal with the repercussions while you prance around? Yeah sounds like a fab idea from you DC. You conveniently also skipped the game in South Africa and the Boks were pretty good then and they were missing a few of their studs so like you I'm also paying attention to them.
Dan - What about the Wallabies?
Richie - That Pocock fella goes well don't he? If we end up facing them, I don't think I'll be able to sleep the night before because it will be one epic battle.
Dan - Who do you think will win if we don't? I mean in like an alternate universe where we aren't the best rugby team ya know?
Richie - South Africa for sure. We're all good mates with Jean de Villiers and the whole Springboks team are good lads, so I'd back South Africa. Yourself?
Dan - It would have to be Ireland mate. You're best buds with Jean and me and Jonny Sexton are tight like a Tiger - he's my guy! I actually really like Ireland and they are my pick of the European nations now that England look like the rabble that we all love them to be, oh and France but I'm not allowed to mention them.
Richie - Ah England yes. You see DC, that's where the trick plays come in handy. But we all know how creative the English are.
Dan - I would say that they need to come watch us train to switch up their idea of rugby, but they try to be us all the time. And yet they aren't even close, ah it's awesome isn't it?
Richie - Awesome, kinda like Jarryd Hayne in the NFL but I see that there's going to be an NFL game on October 4 between the New York Jets and Miami Dolphins. Wanna come with me, Shag and Ready? ... oh and Cane-o who just tags along taking notes
Dan - Nothing disgusts me more than all these people pretending to like the NFL, like you lot. I wonder if the NFL even knew that there would be a Rugby World Cup on at the same time?
Richie - Yeah, not the best planning from the yanks is it? Mate, one last question before I need to go give a few of the boys a Tinder safety briefing - what do you make of all this TMO bullshit and yellow cards being handed out like free NFL tickets in London?
Dan - How funny, you have a whinge about the stoppages along with the NFL. I mean, this has so far been the best starts to a World Cup that I can remember so I don't really care about the stoppages and referees. We've got to remember that this is one of the only times in rugby where you get so many different referees from different countries so there's going to be some weird shit, that's a given.
Richie - Oh DC, you're a smart cookie. These games so far have been pretty sweet, you're right and nothing's going to be perfect so it's all good. Do you wanna go tell Shag to just chill out a little bit on the stoppages while I tell this kids how to use Tinder?
Dan - You're in Shag's pocket mate so you can do both. I've got to head back to France for a few days before we face Georgia so I'm gonna shake and I'll see you in a day or two.
Richie - Prick, what a prick.
Dan - That's good coming from you Dr Dre.