Wildcard:

I think maybe that me and Cersei wouldn’t get along all that well. I mean, look, I can dig the whole ‘mother scorned’ thing, I’ve got sympathy there. And I can’t even imagine some of the things she’s been through what with the dead kids and all that. But I’m a pacifist and here in this new full-length trailer (our first proper official glimpses of S6!) she’s all: “I choose violence.”

Violence against who? I’m gonna guess everyone. I find it hard to remember all the things that are happening in this show after the big break. I’ve still got a book to read which I’ll hopefully get to before the 24th of April 2016. Which means an Anzac Day premiere in NZ, yay. How’s that for thinking of the soldiers we lost in all those pointless wars, watching Game of Thrones in the evening after a morning at the memorial services.

But the more I watch this, the more it all comes back to me in flashes. Arya’s blind, right? And Cersei has short hair because she had to walk naked through the street. And Jon Snow got stabbed by his own charges (those arseholes). Stannis is probably still around by the law that if you don’t see his head fall off then it’s still attached. Not so for his daughter who he burned at the stake. I think he died in the books though so don’t get too excited – not that he’s got too many fans after his karma-sabotaging Scarface routine. And even if the Night’s Watch didn’t revolt, they were screwed already without Stannis’ help.

Umm, Sansa escaped with Theon, which is ominous given the shots of Theon getting tortured in the trailer. For God’s sake people, HE’S HAD ENOUGH!

“The great victory I saw in the flames, all of it was a lie” – says Melisandre speaking to Davos. The thing with trailers is that they’re misleading and manipulative. They’re telling you how to feel and often that’s so that they can trick you further. I reckon she gets her win soon enough. Winter is coming and we’ll all need to nestle up by a warm fire.

Dragon sighting #1:

Speaking of which, dunno what’s up with Daenerys wandering in rags (by her standards of fashion anyway) in a crowd of poor folk beneath a statue of a horse. She’s been a bit out of touch with her subjects for a while now, time to remember what it is to be one of the little folk. She seems untouchable, I wonder if that’s really the case in a world where every other favourite character is killed off season by season. Her storylines have so often been biding time, I wish she’d just storm a bloody castle already.

Mountain Zombie sighting:

Mate, let’s talk music. The song in the background is Irish singer/songwriter James Vincent McMorrow’s take on Chris Isaak’s ‘Wicked Game’. As in “No IIIIIIIIIIII, don’t want to fall in looooove…”. What a jam. Also quite possibly the sexiest music video ever made, regardless of your preferences. Oh man, I need a cold shower. Alright, I’m back, let’s go. First off, I love that song. Second off, I don’t like this interpretation. Third off, isn’t it so on the button for this show? The wicked game of thrones. The irresistible allure of love and how it can be a downfall (Tyrion and Shae, Rob and Talisa/Jeyne… *shivers* Cersei and Jaime). Plus the general malaise of the song sums up where most people are with this programme about now. It’s an abusive relationship and here we are desperate for another go around.

And as for my Jon Snow Is Not Dead theory, well this doesn’t look promising for its credibility.

That poor sad bastard. Not that he isn’t gonna be resurrected, all the signs are pointing that way. Maybe following signs isn’t what this series has done in the past but you reach a point where you can’t just kill everyone or people will stop watching. Me, as long as Tyrion’s around then I’m sweet but I know Snowy was a hit with the ladies, who’ve already had to suffer the losses of Brother Rob and Lovely Renly and Badass Khal Drogo and even that Lusty Spaniard Oberyn Martell.

Or maybe they’re gonna kill everyone? Maybe all the opposing power-hungry forces cancel each other out and what we end up with is a flaming wasteland with ice zombies and crumbled cities and ash and smoke and chill and emptiness. A barren post-apocalyptic world in which under-nourished children scrape by in poverty living in a tent made from the ribs of a dragon’s skeleton. I’ll put it this way: I’m not ruling this out. Season 12 of Game of Thrones, in which Johnny Stark IV is brutally torn to shreds by a murder of crows. For ten hours, that’s all that happens.

Unless…

This trailer sets a sombre scene but then it fair storms through a flip book of evocative imagery. Such as:

Swords drawn
Horses riding
Boats
Arya getting slapped in the face
Arrows firing
Solo Littlefinger
Explosives
Cersei biting Jaime’s ear
Murdering
Fire
Melisandre about to whip ‘em out again
Jumping
Lesbians
Sansa running scared
Marching armies
Fights

Oh, and then this frightening image:

I don’t even know what to say about that. There’s nothing I can say, Bran meets the Night’s King. Anybody meeting that guy immediately terrifies me, that battle scene in the north last season was one of the very best things they’ve ever done. I will say this though… Bran’s standing up? Last we saw of him was S4 and he was chilling under a mystical tree about to learn magic powers. And Max von Sydow is gonna play the three eyed raven. It’s perfect. Max von Freakin’ Sydow. He was in Star Wars as a cameo, he’s in GoT in a new role. Nice little late-career resurgence from one of the greatest actors in history. Watch The Seventh Seal if you don’t believe me. Ian McShane’s in the new series too but I didn’t see him. Also, Ned Stark is credited, so get ready for some wicked flashbacks.

Six more weeks to go. In the words of Ser Davos: “Apologies for what you’re about to see.”

Da Doc

Bran and the Night's King is where the Wildcard and I meet, which is fitting as all that really matters in this kerfuffle of human relationships is that Winter's still coming. For Bran, Jon Snow and the rest of the north it's already here/there but for the other people who took up the majority of this trailer, Winter's still yet to truly impact them.

And as you read above, Bran appears to be standing. Remember when Jamie shoved him off the edge of that tower? Long time ago huh ... just think of how far Jamie and Cersei's incestual relationship has come in that time? Hold that thought.

Bran's standing which is great, high-fives left, right and centre. Juxtapose that with the epitome of evil and things don't look good. I won't trouble you with my theories just yet (which I love and you'll hear plenty of over time), although I would recommend that you imagine the joy of just rediscovering your ability to walk/stand and then having to deal with the Night's King, crikey. I don't think Bran will die, which leaves for the possibility that their storylines may forever be inter-twined.

The idea of the true evil - posing the greatest threat - not being too far away while the battlers further south endure drama of epic proportions is interesting and has been present for much of the series. The beauty of Game of Thrones is that the other characters' stories are equally as interesting and watchable, however the characters in the North must be shitting themselves. We haven't even seen Bran for a season so it'll be cool to just see him, let alone see him interact with the Night's King and when you remember Jon Snow's interaction with the Night's King, the anticipation flows.

Jon Snow. Dead? The Wildcard convinced me, then unconvinced me with his detective work so who knows. Yeah, I want Snow to be alive like most of y'all and with the Bran x Night's King rendezvous to happen at some point, the possibility of Jon meeting up with Bran and bringing the ruckus increases.

Jamie and Cersei look to be bringing the ruckus, pity the fool who had done them wrong previously. Jamie's character development is been fantastic over the course of the series as I quite like him now, largely thanks to his time with Tyrion where we saw some humanity that clearly wasn't displayed in his actions towards dearest Bran. The emergence of those crazy religious guys only made me like the living Lannisters more (Cersei > crazy religious guys) and how the siblings/lovers go about regaining control of King's Landing will offer some nice time away from the North.

How King Tommen fits into that will be funny ... and very interesting.

Cersei's got the freak-a-zoid on her side as well.

King's Landing Clique Power Rankings has Team Lannister ft. Cersei, Jamie, Tommen and Freak-a-zoid leading the pack.

The crazy religious guys are led by the High Sparrow who offers up hope for all us plebs - "Every one of us is poor and powerless, yet we can overthrow and empire". This accompanies Daenerys walking amongst plebs, looked down on...

A Song Of Fire And Ice. We have Ice being the Winter and the Fire aspect is (in very simple terms) covered by dragons, Melisandre and the magic element that we're seeing with Bran and Arya. Khaleesi is battlin' and dragons won't respond to a battler, Melisandre is getting her boobies out and talking about "the great victory I saw in the flames, all of it was a lie", Bran's in a sticky situation while Arya is blind and her story's creeping me out (maybe the most of any GoT story, which is saying something given there's Freak-a-zoid, penis-less-Theon and the siblings/lovers).

Point being that right now, with this trailer, I'm struggling to see how all that comes together anytime soon. Maybe we'll see the wheels start to move later on this season, regardless I'm loving it all brewing nice and slowly. There's so many characters to juggle and they are all in relatively bad situations, well that is except for Sansa who looks rather regal here. Hopefully things start to look up for Sansa.