Twin Peaks: The Return – Part 13

About that ring then. It’s not an unfamiliar piece of jewellery, in fact it dates way back. Green and with that little symbol on it, the one from the owl cave… Laura Palmer used to wear one just like it. Phillip Jeffries supposedly gave one to Ray.

“Jeffries said I was supposed to put this on you after I killed you.”

But he didn’t. He freaked out when the woodsmen came to harvest BOB and Ray ran away. There’s obviously some connection between that ring and the Black & White Lodge… but what exactly?

Well at the start of this new series Dougie was wearing one. The real Dougie. He said he felt funny and then he kinda shrunk into nothing and the ring popped off him. Then he turned into a golden orb in the lodge and MIKE chucked it on a table… yeah it was weird. Of course it was weird. Dougie appeared to have been doomed by the ring somehow and EvilCoop was apparently meant to be harnessed through it some way.

They only really got into the ring during the film though. In it Teresa Banks and Laura Palmer both had it for a while… both were murdered by BOB. Although right before Laura was killed, MIKE was able to throw her the ring in the train car and she was at least able to avoid being possessed by BOB. Cue the angles and the tears and all that. In some way that ring both marked her for death and also possibly saved her soul.

Yeah, plus MIKE wears it in the car crash scene and Jeffries rants about it in his mad ravings plus there’s a mention of it in the Room Above the Convenience Store. The formica table is the exact same colour of green, and is chipped which suggests they might have forged the ring there in that meeting room. Sounds almost Tolkien, don’t it?

My guess would be that the ring somehow withstands BOB. So if EvilCoop was wearing the ring when he was killed then the woodsmen wouldn’t have been able to bring him back and extract the evil. Jury’s still out on whether Jeffries wanted BOB for good or malicious purposes.

Hey man in all these years James still hasn’t learned how to sing! Love that song, it’s a really sweet kinda doo-wop thing but James’ squeaky falsetto is laughable. This was the first time Old Man Hurley had been seen since the premiere when Shelly said that line about him always being cool. But James has never been cool. What I can’t figure out is if David Lynch realises that or not.  

Back to EvilCoop, he as always gonna win that arm wrestle. And once he did it wasn’t much of a shock that he could kill a man with a single punch. Thankfully he managed to drag all that exposition out of Ray before he killed him but it’s still a mystery what exactly he’s up to with all these games. We know the coordinates he’s looking for lead to Twin Peaks and we know he has a line on Diane. Who has seen the coordinates and memorised them. Plus he’s got Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh driving around the country doing his bidding – they should maybe read a few more books in their spare time though. Something is up and EvilCoop has always appeared to know exactly what his quest is. It’s just the rest of us left in the dark there.

A curious character wandered into that scene near the end, however. None other than young master Richard Horne, that granny strangling scumlord. Right in time to see his probably daddy doing some dangerous things. Does he know about his parentage? Has he met the evil one before? Does he recognise him at all or was this some blind coincidence? All in due time, amigo.

The current theory doing the rounds is that maybe Audrey is actually in some kind of role playing therapy. She definitely doesn’t seem well and if you watch that scene with this in mind you can spot a clue or two. Which might be self-fulfilling prophecy but you never know. Lynch does like to throw in extravagantly fake situations and scenes into things just to blur the lines. Mulholland Dr had that audition scene, right? Plus, like, three quarters of that movie happens in a… eh, no spoilers here.

Audrey seems the same as ever. But when you’re 50 you kinda can’t keep carrying on like the spoiled child who could manipulate situations like she once did. Now it’s desperate and pathetic where before it was sexy and subtle. She might not be in therapy but given what she birthed and who possibly forced that child upon her… it wouldn’t be unthinkable. Not sure I fully believe that theory, the important thing that it does is reminds you that in this world, things are not necessarily as they seem.

When you’re another twenty years older on top of that, like Sarah Palmer, that’s even more the case. When she’s not assailing grocery store clerks she spends her time watching looped ten second clips of ancient boxing fights and smoking/drinking profusely. Maybe leave that bit off the tinder profile, aye.

Umm, Dougie got his kid that gym set he never knew he wanted. Looks a little big for it if we’re being honest but it was free and he’s having fun. The missus loved the car too. The more I watch, the more I feel bad for being critical of Naomi Watts’ naggy housewife role back when. It’s gotta take some genuine chops (which, obviously she has) to make it look like not only is she living with Dougie and oblivious that he’s basically dumber than their child at this stage but also love and adore him convincingly. Everyone else who interacts with Dougie is wrapped up enough in their own life to maybe explain how they don’t see what’s wrong but not Janey. The formerly crooked insurance agent, on the other hand…

And that chick who cries through James’ song? Lady, you shoulda been there for Rebekah del Rio’s performance if profound, beautiful sadness is what you’re after. James Hurley is nothing special. I thiiink that she’s the one from the second ep that Shelly says that line to, actually.

Oh and speaking of James… his uncle Big Ed returned too! Sitting happily at dinner with Norma right up until you realise it isn’t what it looks like. Seriously, all those maternal looks that Norma gives to Shelly and her daughter had better stop because Norma’s relationship history hardly shimmers either and seeing Bobby and Ed take their dinners down a few cubicles was rather poignant. The men Shelly and Norma should’ve ended up with eating along, consoling each other.

Thus we close with Big Ed sitting in his office, sipping at a cheap and disposable cup of soup. He looks absolutely tragic. Then he burns a piece of paper. It could be something poignant or it could merely be a random piece of paper and he felt like burning something. I don’t know, it doesn’t matter.

But the wood carving on his desk says: “Bear with me”.

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