The Dugout – NFL Musical Chairs, Anchorman & Mascot Torture
NFL Free-For-All Agency
For the first time in the Super Bowl era, the leading rusher in an NFL season will start the following season on a new team. DeMarco Murray has signed a 5-year, $42m contract with Dallas’ arch-rivals… the Philadelphia Eagles.
Suddenly the flurry of trades out of Philly don’t seem so crazy. Fans can even stomach the potential signing of Tim Tebow (the one and only) as their third string quarterback, though that depends on whether they can get any takers for Matt Barkley. Which they should, surely Jacksonville or Tampa Bay or somewhere would take a punt on him. Of the Giants, R*dskins or Cowboys just to get Tebow on a rival team.
Except that there are plenty of question marks over Murray. All things told, he should be great. But running backs are notorious for falling off cliffs production-wise. Murray is 27 and last season was his first complete one without a major injury. It’ll be one to keep an eye on, not like the beat writers will let us forget that fact anyway.
As for Dallas, they signed Darren McFadden on a cheapie to replace Murray, saving literally millions of dollars. It’s expected that they’ll draft a RB too, plus they have a couple of possible impact backs as well. Adding to that they found a couple cheap linebackers and picked up a cornerback on the waiver wire. So many responsible, level-headed moves going down in Cowboys Nation… this is eerie.
Although it has to be said that the Cowboys also courted Greg Hardy, the Carolina DE currently living in exile on the commissioner’s exempt list. That’s due to a domestic violence charge in which he allegedly assaulted and threatened to kill an ex-girlfriend, though legal charges were dropped when she refused to cooperate with police. The NFL is conducting their own investigation to see if he broke their codes of conduct and he’s expected to see between a one and six game ban. But this is still the NFL, remember. Hardy signed for one year and $11.3m. Also Arian Peterson could be a possibility if he wrangles his way out of Minnesota, though it’s highly doubtful whether they could afford both these guys.
Mike Wallace got himself a trade from the Dolphins to the Vikings. Right in time for Miami to avoid having to pay his $3m bonus for the season. The Vikes promptly cut former Packers WR Greg Jennings, having effectively replaced him with Wallace. It’s like musical chairs with these teams, honestly.
But shying away from the craziness is Chargers QB Philip Rivers. He’s fully committed to his team, having spent his entire career there and not having missed a single game for nine years. His franchise want him signed up for long term… but he’s taking a step back for now. Why? Because of the potential move of the Chargers from San Diego to Los Angeles. It’s not that he wouldn’t play in LA, but the Alabaman native and devout Catholic seems sorta hesitant about moving into all that glitz and glamour.
Big Ben Roethlisberger didn’t have that problem, he’s signed himself a pretty extension in Pittsburgh with the Steelers. Love to see these one team players. Benny earned it too.
Oh, and the R*dskins are getting the band back together! Colt McCoy re-joins Robert Griffin III and Kirk Cousins as the quarterback corps in the capital… good luck with that. Five bucks says one of those guys is traded before the season starts.
Ain’t About That Life No More
24 years old, a rising talent and slated to earn almost $3m in the next four years, 49ers linebacker Chris Borland caused a stir in the NFL teapot when he announced his sudden retirement. After only a single season in the league, he’s walking away from all the money and promise due to his concerns over the long-term effects of the game, namely head trauma.
“I just had to live my life”
An apparent concussion in the 2014 pre-season led to a rough realisation. That he didn’t really know the harm he could be doing himself. So Borland stuck in and fulfilled his NFL dream, having a very impressive rookie season with 107 tackles and a sack… and then he walked away.
The concussion issue in the NFL has been a big one in the news the last few years with more and more research showing the effects that such sustained physical violence can pose in one’s later years. Borland chose simply not to take the risk, and while it’s doubtful that he’ll prove an example to many followers, you still have to commend a man for making the decision that he feels is the right one for him and his family regardless of what it is. He says he plans to return to his schooling.
Defensive Anchor Man/Step Slugger
There was a familiar face at baseball’s spring training this week, and not one you would have expected…
Yes, Ron Burgundy himself, the great Will Ferrell, made his professional baseball debut at age 47, playing ten different positions for ten different teams all on the same day. Obviously this was a stunt, Ferrell was there as a fundraiser for cancer research with an HBO documentary team, but it was also a whole lot of fun.
In a haze of shotgun trades, swings and misses and helicopter rides, he did it too. Enjoy some highlights.
Yes, Ron Burgundy himself, the great Will Ferrell, made his professional baseball debut at age 47, playing ten different positions for ten different teams all on the same day. Obviously this was a stunt, Ferrell was there as a fundraiser for cancer research with an HBO documentary team, but it was also a whole lot of fun.
In a haze of shotgun trades, swings and misses and helicopter rides, he did it too. Enjoy some highlights.
Also here he is on Letterman a few days later doing his always hilarious Harry Caray impersonation.
Stuff That Happened in the NBA
Kyrie Irving, trimming what was a substantial list of haters with some prime time basketball. No longer are they saying he and LeBron can’t play together, not after this. He dropped a career-high 57 on the Spurs in a classic regular season game. Buuuut, Kevin Love isn’t doing much as the third wheel. If they don’t make a deep playoff run, put it at like 80% that he opts out and goes to LA or something.
Don’t let people tell you that the Rondo Trade was a complete disaster. Not after Dallas came bouncing back into contention with wins over the Clippers and Thunder, the latter exhibiting the same flowing, dominant offence that was briefly the most potent in the NBA at the start of the season. Rondo’s a great player and Rick Carlisle’s a superb coach, one of the very best in the league (one of only 4 currently active championship winning coaches). Rajon’s had some good games for Dallas, but the Thunder win was the first where it didn’t come at the expense of someone else. Dirk, Monta & Parsons all scoring over 20. Busting the narrative.
That loss was one of a couple rough ones for OKC this week, the other being a televised hiding at the hands of the Clips. They also beat Chicago, Minnesota and Toronto but dropped out of the eighth seed. Tellingly, Rusty Westbrook’s pile-driving supremacy over games dropped off against the elite defenders of CP3 & Rondo. Much worse than that, though, is the injury to Serge Ibaka. Compounding knee soreness has led to an arthroscopic knee procedure that’ll rule him out four to six weeks. They had tried to manage it since the end of February however nothing was improving. In his place they’ve been starting either Mitch McGary or the dual big men Enes Kanter and Steven Adams. Kia Kaha.
Speaking of Steven Adams:
More historic stuff from Anthony Davis. This badass is only 22 years old.
The Toronto Raptors broke a franchise record for the quickest team to 40 wins, backed by a Kyle Lowry triple-double against the Indiana Pacers. 67 games, quicker than last year’s 72 and 1999/00’s 70 games. Most of that is from a speedy start to the season, recently they’ve cooled off winning just 3 of their last 13. Don’t bother watching this space ‘til the playoffs start.
Robin Lopez, the bully. Forget that X-Factor crap, Lopez is the real bad guy. For some reason the shaggy haired fellow that he is has a thing against mascots. First off, he gave the Toronto mascot ‘The Raptor’ a shove to the ground (to be fair, The Raptor was dancing in his face with a wig on)…
… and then he went and stole the hat from G-Wiz’s head and put it up on the rim where the poor mascot couldn’t retrieve it!
And then knocked the furry fella out with one hit. This man must be apprehended.
THAT PASS. (For the record, J.R. Smith blocked the layup at the rim… but still!)
50 Point NBA Games in 2014/15
Kyrie Irving CLE @ SA, 12/03/15 – 57
Kyrie Irving CLE vs POR, 28/01/15 – 55
Klay Thompson GS vs SAC, 23/01/15 - 52
Mo Williams MIN @ IND, 13/01/15 - 52
Steph Curry GS vs DAL, 04/02/15 - 51
NBA Power Rankings:
Last week’s rank in brackets
- Golden State Warriors (1)
- Atlanta Hawks (4)
- Cleveland Cavaliers (2)
- Memphis Grizzlies (3)
- San Antonio Spurs (6)
- Houston Rockets (7)
- Portland Trailblazers (9)
- Dallas Mavericks (NR)
- Oklahoma City Thunder (5)
- New Orleans Pelicans (10)
Keeping Cubs Coddled
Years and years of mediocrity, the Chicago Cubs are so often the butt of MLB jokes. But they’ve secretly been hoarding prospects for a while now and could surprise many people in 2015. One of those prospects is a devastating 23 year old slugger by the name of Kris Bryant. Seriously, this guy is special.
Bryant is crushing them in spring training, having had a huge year in double and triple-A last season. He’s widely considered one of the best prospects in all baseball.
However despite having hit more home runs in spring training than any other player, Bryant will be starting the season in the minors. That’s because if he spends 12 days there before joining the big boys, he won’t be able to complete a full season and his free agency will be put off by a year (until 2021). Bryant is represented by the notorious Scott Boras, Super Agent, who tends to take his clients into free agency to test the waters and get the most leverage possible in negotiation.
Unsurprisingly, Boras is slamming the Cubs for their decision: "You are damaging the ethics and brand of Major League Baseball. Kris Bryant has extraordinary skills. Kris Bryant is a superstar. He has distinguished himself from all players at every level he's played." – Boras to USA Today.
The Cubs are using the excuse that he needs to work on his defence. Which is actually a legit thing to suggest about a young, 6 foot 5 third baseman. Mike Olt will start at third until Bryant is ready, Olt a former top prospect himself but one that had an awful rookie season in 2014.
Ah, Baseball, You’re Like No Other
It may be a core part of the American national pastime of baseball, but high-fives have been temporarily banned in the Milwaukee Brewers organisation. That’s because of an outbreak of pink eye. Yes, pink eye. Clearly these guys haven’t been washing their hands or something.
Several players and staff in the organisation have succumbed and the team is doing all they can to halt the epidemic. In the meantime it’s been suggested that they touch elbows or wear gloves in high-five-able situation. It just ain’t the same.
Masshole 101
Quote of the Week:
Russell Westbrook unfiltered and petulant, just the way we like him.
Good Week:
Devon Still (Cincinnati Bengals) – The best possible news, his daughter Leah getting a major boost in her fight against cancer. Still had been cut by the Bengals last season, but after the diagnosis they offered him a spot on the practice squad so he could keep his NFL health insurance. He earned his way onto the active roster and helped raise $1.3m for child cancer research over the following months. Best of luck to Leah, Devon and the Still family.
Dwyane Wade (Miami Heat) – There’s something about playing against LeBron that brings out the best in D-Wade. He had 32 in the win against the Cavs, shooting 13 of 18 – the 14th time in his career that he’s scored 30+ shooting at over 70% from the field. LeBron is the only Heat player with more (15). Wade’s tenth 30 point game against LeBron in 24 opportunities and his six straight 25 point games is the longest such streak he’s had since 2010. There’s some life in those old knees yet, folks.
Utah Jazz – Damn, who saw this coming!? 9 wins in 10, 6 in a row. And not only against fellow battler either, we’re talking wins over Memphis, Houston, Portland and San Antonio in the last few weeks. Huge props to Rudy Gobert, the French Rejection/Stifle Tower, who’s averaging 17.6 rebounds a game in March, including three games with 20+. Utah’s points differential currently sits at exactly even!
Bad Week:
Yu Darvish (Texas Rangers) – The Rangers’ star Japanese pitcher is out for the season with impending Tommy John surgery, having tweaked his elbow in spring training. That’s worst case scenario for a team who had a record breaking number of injuries and the same goes for a fella who’s a top 5 pitcher in baseball when healthy. Hence why it’s him in this spot and not Chris Lee of the Phillies.
San Francisco 49ers – It’s no secret that the Niners are in a spot of bother. They’ve now lost six of their key defensive unit. Borland’s retirement was just the latest setback, coming just days after 30 year old Patrick Willis walked away. They did sign Reggie Bush though, so there’s that.
Player of the Week:
Kyrie Irving (Cleveland Cavaliers) & Anthony Davis (New Orleans Pelicans) – Yeah, it’s a joint award this week. There was no choosing! Kyrie had a 57 point game, the highest scoring game of the season. He averaged 33.3p, 5.0a & 3.5r per game this week. While Anthony Davis had that mental night against Denver where he logged 36p/14r/7a/9b. Since returning from a five game injury layoff, his numbers read 29.3p, 3.9a, 11.3r & 4.7b per game. Both former number one picks, both firmly on top of their games right now.