The Dugout – Deflations, Elations & Buzzer Beating Salvations
Letting The Air Out
DEFLATE-GATE! Yeah, that’s right, we’re still talking about it. You know why? Because the NFL only this week got around to publishing their exhaustive report and punishments are being handed down. Tom Brady has been suspended for four games, and the New England Patriots have lost two draft picks and been fined $1m. Righty-oh.
Basically, they decided that it was “more probable than not” that the Patriots deliberately deflated footballs in that game against Indianapolis last year and the hammer has come down swiftly. Four months and a Super Bowl title later.
Look. The deflating didn’t help them win that game anywhere close to the way that being a much better team helped them win. The punishment is heavy-handed and a little bit vindictive (the Pats have been veeery dismissive of the NFL’s investigation). But the important thing is that it’s all over now. Well, not quite, since Brady’s appealing his rest (it might even be good for him - fire him up, keep him healthy?). Funnily enough, his first game back will be against the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday night football. That’s a flash coincidence right there.
The Lucky Four
These teams get to play the Patriots with Jimmy Garoppolo at QB:
- Week 1 vs Pittsburg Steelers
- Week 2 @ Buffalo Bills
- Week 3 vs Jacksonville Jaguars
- Week 5 @ Dallas Cowboys
Happy Birthday Yogi Berra!
The legendary catcher with the funny name turned 90 on Tuesday, which means a perfect chance to dump a bunch of his brilliant quotes in here.
- “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!”
- "It's déjà vu all over again"
- “It gets late early out there.”
- "90% of the game is half-mental."
- "It ain't over till it's over."
- “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
- "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."
- "You can observe a lot by watching."
- “If you don't know where you're going, you might not get there.”
- "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
- "It doesn't matter if you're ugly in this racket. All you have to do is hit the ball, and I never saw anyone hit with his face."
- “I really didn't say everything I said.”
Of course, Berra was also a 15-time All Star, 3-time MVP and 13-tiem World Series Champion – 10 times as a player and 3 as either a coach or manager. Plus he was a second ballot Hall of Famer.
For the record, apparently the similarity between Yogi Berra’s name and the cartoon character Yogi Bear (who first appeared in 1958) was ‘just coincidence’. Berra sued, Hanna-Barbera said ‘don’t worry, bro’, Berra withdrew his lawsuit. But still said it was pretty suspicious. It’s acknowledged these days that Berra’s name was obviously the influence there.
BUZZER
BEATERS
GALORE
Man, the LeBron one was especially crazy because it almost didn’t happen. When Chicago tied it up through Derrick Rose with 8.4 secs to go (after an offensive foul from LBJ), Cavs coach David Blatt tried to call a timeout that the team didn’t have, luckily his assistants held him back or it probably would have cost them the game. LeBron drives the length and has the ball batted out of play by Joakim Noah, dubiously enough that they needed a review and Blatt could draw up a play (Bron wanted a foul). He did, but then LeBron waved it off and basically said: ‘Just give me the ball’. That happened, then THAT happened.
We all know who runs the show in Cleveland. If he hadn’t made the playoffs, LeBron probably would have been making the Cleveland Browns’ draft picks for them. Probably woulda done a better job too.
MLB Power Rankings:
(Last week)
- St Louis Cardinals (1)
- Kansas City Royals (6)
- LA Dodgers (6)
- New York Yankees (5)
- Washington Nationals (NR)
- Detroit Tigers (3)
- New York Mets (7)
- Houston Astros (2)
- Minnesota Twins (NR)
- San Diego Padres (10)
Giancarlo Clears The Stadium
That Suit
John Wall, Fashion Icon
Weekly Wattage
First Team All-Defence!
Rain Delay Games
Lads, Grow Up Will Ya?
Sign My Baby!
Because Why Just Not Be Good At Everything?
Quote of the Week:
“Suck my dick, bitch!”
Clippers moron Matt Barnes to James Harden’s mum during game two. No kidding, he that’s what he said. Definitely taking the trash talk a little far when you start directing it at the parents of rivals. Harden’s mother played it down, but his older brother took exception, and later walked over to Barnes and firmly demanded an apology. Out of the heat of the moment, Barnes did just that, saying he lost his own mother to cancer so he would never meaningfully show that kind of disrespect. Barnes was fined $50000 by the League for his actions.
Good Week:
Alex Rodriguez (New York Yankees) – 7 hits in his last 7 games is decent. A couple homers and 8 RBI in those games is also decent. But surpassing Willie Mays for fourth all-time in home runs? That’s special. The next active player is Alby Pujols with 525.
Blake Griffin (LA Clippers) – While every other series is going up and down with each passing game, the Clippers have been teaching the Houston Rockets a basketballing lesson. When Austin Rivers goes off while Chris Paul is hurt, you know your team oughta be winning and they are. Blake Griffin has been the star or the show, shooting at well over .500 and averaging 26.6 points and 13.4 rebounds a game. Even after the game five loss, the Clippers are still just a win away from reaching their first ever conference finals…
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers) – At this stage of the season, it goes without saying.
Bad Week:
Oakland Athletics – Sort it out! You moneyballers were meant to be challenging for a division title, not slumping your way to 6 straight losses. The A’s are 12-22 for the worst winning percentage in the American League.
Monty Williams (Formerly New Orleans Pelicans) – The Pellies have sacked head coach Monty after five years in the job, despite taking them to the playoffs this season. But seasoned NBA experts have questioned Williams for a while now, so this was hardly a shock. Former OKC coach Scott Brooks has emerged as a likely replacement. Geez, from Kevin Durant to Anthony Davis. Good gig if you can get it.
Player of the Week:
Bryce Harper (Washington Nationals) – Mike Trout and Bryce Harper were touted as the hitters of a generation before they’d even played in the majors. Well, Trout quickly left Harper in his dust, already winning an MVP award, but now it’s Bryce’s turn. The Nats’ slugger busted out something big this week, hitting 6 home runs in a three game stretch and all of a sudden showing the strength and the eye that people have long demanded of him. Not coincidentally, the Nats have won 8 of their last 9 games too.