The Dugout – DUIs and Torn ACLs? The NFL Must Be Almost Here!
The Countdown Begins
There’s officially less than a month before the NFL season begins. Less than a month, no kidding. Pre-season is already underway with the Hall of Fame game and every team will play at least four exhibitions before now and the start of the proper season. Training camps are full-on all the way in and have been for a while. Rosters are taking shape, expectations are being forged in the fire. It’s now okay to start caring about the new season. Must only be a matter of time before the Wildcard’s annual Pre-season Quarterback Rankings come out.
Still Way Too Early NFL Power Rankings:
- Green Bay Packers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
- New England Patriots
- Denver Broncos
- Dallas Cowboys
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Buffalo Bills
- Arizona Cardinals
- Philadelphia Eagles
One team that certainly wasn’t threatening that list is the Houston Texans. The poor beggars were a playoff team for a while there with Matt Schaub but it was widely believed he was holding them back from going further. But since he left they just haven’t managed to get better at that QB position. They don’t even have an established starter at the moment, it’s a three-way fight between Ryan Mallett, Tom Savage and Brian Hoyer. Moving past the Gary Kubiak era too, it’s not proved easy. Oh, and Andre Johnson is a Colt now.
What they do have in their favour is a beastly defence, highlighted by J.J. ‘Best in the Business’ Watt and Jadaveon ‘Soon to Join Him’ Clowney. Unfortunately they were already gonna struggle to score points and now running back Arian Foster is out for at least the first half of the season. At least. Arguably the most important offensive player on their roster and he tears his ACL clean off the bone (according to reports anyway).
But the good news is that they’re on Hard Knocks this year, so that oughta be fun.
Another One Bites the San Franciscan Dust
Geez, the SF 49ers off season continues to go from bad to worse to worst. Aldon Smith has joined the mass exodus of Niners defensive players now, cut after his fifth arrest.
To sum it all up, he damaged a parked car as he was parking his own one, then further damaging it with the door of his car, before leaving without reporting it. When he returned to his vehicle, the police were there and he was visibly drunk. Smith was arrested and charged with hit-and-run, DUI and vandalism. And cut from the franchise that just the other week were publically talking about offering him an extension.
Smith’s been a superstar with 44 sacks in a mere 50 games but he’s also been a complete nuisance off the field. Too much to handle even for GM Trent Baalke, who was as close to the guy’s biggest fan as they come. But Baalke’s been hard on players towing the line as he tries to fix this team’s tattered image. No more second chances, it seems.
The problem is that Aldon Smith was about the last guy left in what used to be the best linebacking group in the NFL. Patrick Willis retired, Chris Borland retired, Smith’s gone… it’s just Ahmad Brooks returning of those starters. Which might be okay if it weren’t that Justin Smith had retired too, severely weakening their defensive line in front of them. Plus the free agent losses of cornerbacks Perrish Cox and Chris Culliver, running back Frank Gore, guard Mike Iupati, wide receivers Michael Crabtree and Stevie Johnson and the firing of defensive coordinator Vic Fangio and head coach Jim Harbaugh. And offensive coordinator Greg Roman taking up a job with the Buffalo Bills.
Ouch.
Most Players Arrested In the Last 5 Years
- Minnesota Vikings – 18
- Denver Broncos – 16
- Indianapolis Colts – 13
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 13
- San Francisco 49ers – 12
Televisual Distractions
If you’ve noticed that some NFL players don’t seem as energetic in training camps right now, that they seem sleepy or distracted, there’s a good reason for that. And it’s not fitness testing.
Nope, it’s Game of Thrones. According to the Wall Street Journal, spoilers are being thrown around the locker rooms like CGI blood splattering at the Battle of Winterfell.
“If you don’t know that [REDACTED] died, if you don’t know what the White Walkers are, that’s not my problem. It means you aren’t a fan and you don’t watch the show.” - Washington R**skins tight end Niles Paul.
Hence why Paul’s Washington teammate, running back Silas Redd, reckons he watched “four or five episodes” the night after the first day of training camp, just trying to catch up. It doesn’t help that many players are full seasons behind due to coming into it late, not being able to watch it regularly with their busy schedules, family and whatever else. Sounds like excuses, watch the damn thing on the plane, carve an hour out of your nightly schedule. No sympathy here.
Meanwhile the Pittsburgh Steelers are solving the spoiler issue by, as a group, watching Sons of Anarchy all from the beginning.
The Secret to Great FT Shooting
Dirk Nowitzki, a career 88% shooter from the free throw line, says that a coach of his way back told him he needed to relax more at the line. Suggested that he try singing a song, so he did. His song of choice was ‘Mr Jones’ by Counting Crows.
Look, not everyone has perfect musical taste and Dirk has always been a bit of a silly fella off the court. He gets a pass for picking a disgustingly catchy song like that. Here he is explaining the singing thing and belting out a few lines on the radio show Awesome Boring (with Adam Davidson and Adam McKay – the latter being the dude who directed Anchorman):
Love you, Dirk.
USA! USA! (For Three Days)
The American national men’s basketball team are meeting in Las Vegas for a three day workout today. No, they’re not playing any games, it’s just a three day camp is all. Something they have to do in order to remain eligible to compete as a nation in next year’s Olympics.
There will be a televised intra-squad game on Friday NZ time, as well as a couple of low-key run-arounds in the preceding two days. The game is basically the same as the one that Paul George broke his leg during a year ago, there’s some context for ya.
Paul George is slated to be back in this camp. So are Kevin Durant and Carmelo Anthony as they return from their own knock, though neither is likely to play the exhibition. Just as the team needs to train, so do the players in order to remain eligible for Rio 2016.
Overall, 34 men have been named by coach Mike Krzyzewski, including 11 of the 12 men that won last year’s FIBA World Cup. Derrick Rose is the unlucky man to be excluded. Here’s the full squad:
Bear in mind that even though Durant and Anthony may not be in this category, several others will be showing up just to make an appearance. Kyrie Irving, Chandler Parsons and Kevin Love are all still not cleared for their return to fitness, while LeBron James is simply sitting it out because he’s LeBron James. Probably running through lines for Space Jam 2 or something.
The Rookies Fight Back
A Picture Tells 1000 Words
Do The Raven
Meanwhile In Russell Wilson’s Life
Zach LaVine, Once Again
Dallas Cowboys Read Mean Tweets
Quote of the Week:
“When [REDACTED] died, we were hurt, very hurt, but I’ve been following the theories on the Internet so they’ve got to bring him back.”
Niles Paul has some Game of Thrones conspiracy leanings.
Good Week:
Johnny Cueto (Kansas City Royals) – His first home game in KC and he hurls a 4-hit shutout of Miggy Cabrera and the Tigers. If the Royals weren’t American League favourites before his addition then they certainly are now. Not so great for Cole Hamels in Texas though, he’s thrown at a 5.93 ERA in his two starts with the Rangers.
Andrew McCutchen (Pittsburgh Pirates) – It’ll be tough to haul in Bryce Harper in the MVP race but Cutch is doing his best. He’s 9 hits in his last 16 at bats with a couple homers, 8 RBI, 6 walks and 7 runs. That’s NL Player of the Week stuff there, duly noted.
Toronto Blue Jays – After all them trades, the Jays got themselves back in contention and it’s immediately paying off. 8 wins in a row, they’re just a game and a half behind the slumping Yankees now in the AL East and sitting pretty in a wildcard spot.
Bad Week:
Jerry Blevins (New York Mets) – Even in first place, the Mets are still the Mets. Blevins fell of a curb and re-fractured his left forearm this week. He’ll miss the rest of the season.
Shaun Suisham (Pittsburgh Steelers) – It’s a recurring joke how easy the life of an NFL kicker is compared to some of his teammates. Basically, you get good at kicking and you kick. If you can handle immensely pressurised situations then that’s a bonus. All you have to do is not get injured or miss. Shaun Suisham got injured. A torn ACL in a pre-season game, that’s his 2015 over and done with.
Matt Flynn (NFL Free Agent) – Remember when he was gonna be a breakout star? After a couple nice games deputising for Aaron Rodgers? He’s just been cut by the Patriots. At least he’s cashed in over the last couple years.
Player of the Week:
Mike Trout (LA Angels) – To be honest, he could be player of the week every week. It takes something special to go above and beyond his usual levels of specialness. Like hitting a home run on his birthday… for the third time in the last four years.