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A Requiem For The Stache Bros: Remembering Their Greatest Moments

It’s a business, they say. There’s no room for sentiment. As a fan you learn to accept this quickly with injuries and trades and retirements and all that ensuring that even the greatest, most loyal players will eventually, one day, move on. Perhaps, like with Kobe Bryant or Tim Duncan, you’ll get twenty good years out of them. Perhaps you won’t even get one before they’re suited up against you dropping three pointers for the win. The NBA has very little room for sentiment. Even less if you’re a defensive liability on an $18m contract.

Thus it has come to pass that Enes Kanter is no longer a member of the Oklahoma City Thunder. Ask any Thunder fan, they’ll tell you that Carmelo Anthony was well worth trading for at the price they got him at. Ask them again and they’ll tell you that Enes Kanter wasn’t good enough to command the money he was getting on a team expecting to win playoff series. So it goes, Kanter wasn’t mad. In fact he lives in New York during the offseason so a trade to the Knicks, where he’ll get plenty more opportunities to play as well, is a rather large positive for his career.

But that’s not why this is so tragic. The real reason this trade brings a tear to the eye is the enforced demise of the brotherhood known as ‘The Stache Bros’.

Wherever you may find yourself

On any starry night

Whichever court is home to you

Whatever place feels right

May your moustache always grow so full

And be your guiding light

And keep your upper lip from chill

Through ev’ry play and plight

The Stache Brothers originated through Steven Adams’ willingness to be a funny bugger. His second season in the NBA, he grew a moustache just for Media Day – that way his promo pics would flash some Tom Selleck/Burt Reynolds imagery all year. It was a grooming choice that he continued to flirt with.

Enes Kanter was traded to the Thunder in February 2015 as part of a three-team deal. He averaged 18.7 points per game over the rest of that season and the Portland Trail Blazers gave him a large offer sheet as a restricted free agent. The Thunder matched it.

Come that next season, Adams and Kanter decided to let the upper lips grow for Movember. Mitch McGary joined in too… although his ‘stache didn’t last. He couldn’t hang. Adams and Kanter, though, they went all in. They kept the mo’s well beyond that one month and they soon came to represent their budding comradeship.

NewsOK: “Before a late November home game against Brooklyn, Steven Adams went to Enes Kanter with a mutual suggestion: Shave the beard, keep the mustache.”

Over the next two years The Stache Bros were one of the NBA’s greatest duos. Not so much on the court, although they had some great moments in the 2016 Playoffs, but definitely off the court. Their witty repartees, their deprecating humour, their honesty and laughter… a constant source of joy.

But the Melo trade has split the pair up. That’s okay, it’s how the sport works and Kanter has been linked as trade bait for a fair while now. On the day it was confirmed, Kanter found out in the comments section of a live periscope chat he was doing. Not ideal, however when his video of farewell to the OKC fans came out he seemed genuinely understanding of the situation and genuinely excited for what was to come.

He’d also been running these basketball camps through the offseason for Oklahoma City kids. There was one last camp on the day he was traded but, no worries, Enes still showed up for the locals. So did Steven Adams. The other Stache Bro showed up to say goodbye and offer his mate a parting gift.

A pounamu necklace? Gah, who’s been cutting onions in here…

Steven Adams: “I mean he didn’t die, mate. Everyone’s been coming at me like he passed away and if he did I’d be sad, but he just moved down the road. I’ll see him soon, in like three weeks, it’s like our first game. I’m not gonna miss him, I’ll see him in a few days.”


The Time Kevin Durant Interrupted That Interview

In many ways, this was the coming out party for the Stache Bros. The nickname had already caught on and with an opportunity to do an interview with the local media about the brotherhood, they offered to do the chat as a duo. Which they did… even showing up in custom made Stache Bros shirts which had started circling around the local scene.

The interview’s full of nuggets and jokes between the two but the highlight is undoubtedly when Kevin Durant walks in and hijacks the talk with a fake moustache of his own.

Steven Adams: “You’re not a part of our family! You always take the spotlight! Let us be cool for once!”

Ah, the good old days. Things were so innocent back then…


The Legendary Three Point Contests

The shoot-around competitions between Steven Adams and Enes Kanter became a tradition. After practice they’d launch a few up from deep, generally not to any great effect. Triples are a part of Enes’ game that he’s tried to add over the last couple years but never to the point where he could survive on them. Only attempted three trebles in his first three seasons total in the NBA and for his career he’s made 32 of 107 – let down by a terrible 13.2% from 3pt in 2016-17 (5/38 att). Steven Adams, meanwhile, is 0/3 across four years in the league. Neither really know what they’re doing from that range.

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But that’s all part of the charm.

Enes Kanter: “We wanted to do something that we don’t actually do in a game, and that’s a 3-point shot contest. So, we always end [practice] with a 3-point contest. And it’s so much fun.”

It wouldn’t be unusual to see Adams miss five in a row but he did beat Kanter a few times. Andre Roberson tried to join in too but they denied him entry into the club, being a different position and all…. although Dre’s actually got a worse career percentage from three than Kanter does (26%). Then again, it was always more about Steve vs Enes anyway (although Domantas Sabonis joined in a few times), with the winner given free rein to unleash all the trash talk they want. And a few punches. Anything to throw the other one off.

Enes Kanter: “He punches me. I punch him back. And then he pushes me sometimes. I push him back. I grab his jersey. He grabs my jersey. It’s so much fun. We don’t shoot it to get better. We just shoot it to have fun.”

Andre Roberson: “They’re like two brothers. They’ve always got stuff up their sleeve. They’re always turning around and pranking each other.”


Is That Halal?

Enes Kanter, if you didn’t know, is a practicing Muslim who adheres to a halal diet. Which means that when the Thunder were travelling and eating meals together he’d need his own menu, pretty much. No worries for an NBA team there – they’d send staffers out in each new city to find the best restaurants and whip up a platter. Their training centre even has a designated prayer room and their team chefs oblige by cooking with separate utensils and everything. Sweet as.

At the time Dion Waiters was also on the Thunder and was also practicing Islam, so Kanter wasn’t alone, but that can still be an isolating thing – particularly in America the last year or two. Not when Kiwi Steve is around though…

Wall Street Journal: The halal takeover started when Thunder center Steven Adams asked Kanter if he would share his post-game dinner. “Pretty much as soon as he came in,” Adams said, “I just told him that I’m eating his food, so I told the guys to order double.” Westbrook and Serge Ibaka then began tearing into the halal trays. Before long, Thunder officials were searching the Internet for the top-rated Turkish and Middle Eastern restaurants in other cities when the team was on the road, all so they could feed a full lineup of NBA players with enormous appetites.

And that’s what happened. What might have been an outlier or even a gimmick on another team became something that unified them together. The coaches were keen. Sam Presti, the GM, got involved. The only bloke who resisted it… was Kevin Durant (albeit in good humour).


Making a Run in the 2016 Playoffs

As professional basketballers, it’d be rude not to give the pair a spotlight for their on-court performances. Playing the same position and everything, they didn’t often get to play together at once. It’s another factor that makes this bromance even more unlikely, along with the fact that one’s from Turkey the other’s from New Zealand and they met playing basketball in Oklahoma. They kinda competed for minutes a lot of the time. Kanter was getting paid good money but Adams kept him out of the starting five, while every high-scoring bench turn that Kanter made meant longer for Adams sitting there waiting to get back in. But that never ever seemed to matter to them.

Having got past the Dallas Mavericks comfortably enough in five games, the Thunder met the San Antonio Spurs. Kanter had played twenty minutes a game in the Dallas series, averaging 15.2ppg. A big effort from him but the Mavs really didn’t have a lot that year (Ray Felton was their second top scorer that series). The Spurs, on the other hand, they did. It was Tim Duncan’s last series, they had Kawhi Leonard and LaMarcus Aldridge each scoring at will. Tony Parker was fit, Manu Ginobili too.

Yet after going 2-1 down, OKC rallied back to win the series in six. Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant dominated to the tune of a combined 53.7ppg but it was the efforts of their two centres that caught a lot of people’s eyes, especially when they shared the court. Just being able to have two blokes so tall opened up all sorts. Scoring opportunities, sure, but also some wicked rebounding and a few twin pick sets for Russ to wreak havoc around. Kanter even got up with a big block on Tim Duncan late in game five. It wasn’t a combo that always worked, but the older Spurs big fellas really struggled to keep up.

Manu Ginobili after G5: “Adams and Kanter were very intense, aggressive and got a bunch (of rebounds) down the stretch. It was a key of the game, for sure. They got way too many possessions. In the last three or four minutes, they had possessions where they shot three or four times. It’s really hard against a team like them.”

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Then into the Western Finals against the Warriors, things didn’t look so flash. GSW were able to stretch the floor almost into the carpark and that room exposed Kanter’s decision making on defence. Poor lad. They went at him and he struggled to stay on the floor. But then in the second half of the first game something clicked. Adams came back on next to Kanter and they went on a 16-7 run to close the third. Then another 10-3 run in the fourth as OKC unexpectedly took a series lead.

Steven Adams: “No idea, mate. Just too caught up in the game to know if it’s a good combination or not. If you said it was terrible, probably not a question for me.”

It didn’t last, and Kanter only played an average of 8:40 mins across the last four games, but it was fun while it did. The Thunder went on to blow a 3-1 lead and Kevin Durant hit free agency (plus Serge Ibaka, a long time defensive anchor for the Thunder, was also traded).


When Enes Kanter Broke His Hand Punching A Chair

The heading’s self-explanatory; a game against the Mavs and Enes Kanter smacked a chair on the bench in frustration and suffered the consequences of that moment of clouded thought.

Steven Adams: “He didn't mean to do it, obviously. It’s just one of those frustrating times where it just happened to like… he did what he did, you know. He's already hard on himself. No one else can be as hard as he is on himself. He's probably just feeling so under the weather. I feel bad for him.”

Later in the season…


MVP Campaigners

With NBA awards season arriving, Enes and Steve decided they could not in good conscience sit back and watch somebody else claim the big award over their teammate Russell Westbrook. So out came a camera, a few mates and presumably some cheap editing software and these were the results, possibly the finest moments in Stache Bros history…

Enes Kanter went as far as even writing an opinion piece for The Players Tribune later on, which Steve definitely saw the funny side of…

Hey but it must’ve worked because when the MVP award was announced it was Russell Westbrook who got his name engraved on the trophy. By that time the Thunder had already given Russ a trophy of their own making, presented by Oscar Robertson, for breaking the triple-double record in a season. Safe to say that the Stache Bros were chuffed.


All About The Small Moments

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The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship…

NewsOK, April 2016:

The day after last year's trade deadline, he boarded a plane for Charlotte and met Adams, as a teammate, for the first time. Kanter remembers Adams wearing a New Zealand rugby jersey that day. He had a cast on his broken right hand and a pinky-out, thumb-out, hang-loose greeting for Kanter with his left.

“How old are you?” Adams asked Kanter in Charlotte's visiting locker room.

“Twenty-two. I turn 23 in a couple months,” Kanter responded.

“Oooooh, nice. What are we doing for your birthday?” Adams said.

 


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