The Quotable Steven Adams: 2017-18 Edition

Plenty of stuff happened at the Oklahoma City Thunder this past season but you know Steven Adams is just gonna do his job no matter who his teammates are. Old mate Steve, he was as good as he’s ever been, dropping career highs in points, rebounds, assists, steals, field goal percentage, minutes played… yeah he did the business. Only one playoff win to show for all the drama along the way and there are plenty of arguments as to who should shoulder the blame for that but Steven Adams is one bloke who emerged from this campaign with his reputation enhanced. 

And along the way he stopped to talk about it. Over and over. With his usual self-deprecating wit but also with an increasingly impressive skill for analysing and describing the game of basketball. He’s always been a funny bugger and a refreshingly honest dude and now he’s out there laying down these perceptive ideas about games and plays and… well, you know why you’re here. Just read the damn thing.


“I mean he didn’t die, mate. Everyone’s been coming at me like he passed away and if he did I’d be sad, but he just moved down the road. I’ll see him soon, in like three weeks, it’s like our first game. I’m not gonna miss him, I’m gonna see him in a couple days.”

-          A bittersweet beginning to the new season as Enes Kanter, better known as the other half of The Stache Bros, was traded to New York. Pour one out for the bromance… but keep it in context because he didn’t die, mate.

 

“I’ve heard it all before, mate. We’ve already rinsed each other enough. He’s got nothing new.”

-          Yet by a quirk in the scheduling, the first game of the season was against Kanter and the NY Knicks. Enes claimed Steve told him he was gonna get a stray elbow first chance he got. Steve had no fears about the impending trash talk.

 

“My judgement’s on the handshake, mate. Back to old school. You’ve just gotta give a good handshake, eye contact, you know. And they all did that. It’s good. That’s how I know right away: good guy.”

-          How can you tell a new teammate - like Paul George or Carmelo Anthony, for example - is going to be a quality locker room presence? Handshakes.

 

“No, not at all. I was dumb as a pile of bricks, mate. Just stuuupid. Once I came in I just really tried to learn the whole thing, hang around the coaches a bunch – not just big man coaches, all coaches all around – and just seeing what they’re looking at. How they think.”

-          Kiwi Steve’s been picking up the clever tricks in the NBA but he sure didn’t have that wisdom as a rookie. Gotta absorb it like a sponge.

 

 “Ah, Gobert. He’s a tough pickle, isn’t he?”

-          Foreshadowing the team’s eventual playoff exit before the second game of the regular season.

 

“Yeah, got me old titty done, mate!”

-          Yo, Steve, is that a new tattoo?

 

 “If you wanna know my actual opinion of it, it came down to probably like three plays before that. those upcoming plays too. Those were more controllable than that last play. Because I’d definitely call that a hail mary sort of play, and he made it, but those plays before that it just came down to discipline with boxing out, trapping the box and little drives. So we’ve got to control that better which would’ve led to a different outcome.”

-          Putting some perspective on an insane banked three at the buzzer from Anthony Wiggins that snatched a 115-113 victory for Minnesota in the third game of the Thunder’s season.

 

“I don’t even know mate, it’s strange. Bizzare. I’m not going to comment on it. Bit emotional, there’s a lot of background. Australia. New Zealand.”

-          Joe Ingles got fined for whacking Adams in the ‘nads. Not the first time he’s copped one of them but this one might have been more personal (and patriotic).

 

 “Come on, mate. Yeah I knew it. Go in there, mate. No worries, mate… wanker.”

-          Imagine a reporter walking out of a Steven Adams chat because Carmelo Anthony’s available. Stevie saw the funny side of it.

 

“Hey NASA, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye… We had a rough flight to say the least. 30000 feet in the air. Flying to Chicago. What caused this?”

-          OKC’s plane hit a bird last October and things went crunch.

 

“I mean, I’d let him get it. He doesn’t have to say those harsh words. Doesn’t have to talk like that. A bit mean, I thought we were on good terms.”

-          Carmelo Anthony has a (NSFW) way of marking his territory when claiming rebounds. Naughty words are spouted. Teammates be warned.

 

“Ah, the shaka. Those ones.”

-          No hesitation, what’s your favourite emoji, Steve?

 

“It's more confidence in the adjustments, in all your preparation before the game. It's having confidence in that, then knowing that they're going to make some sort of adjustments, then staying locked up in that aspect. Just the awareness of getting back quick, getting offensive boards, getting to their players fast. We've just gotta be more ready with it.”

-          More pro athlete smarts from Steven Adam after a loss to the Boston Celtics.

 

“Well, the thing is, like, mostly bigger stronger dudes, they tend to be slower. Especially against you, if you’re not as strong as them you definitely, probably, more than likely, will be quicker than them. So you just use your angles to your advantage to get them out further. You just have to be as big and wide as possible to make those routes that he takes take a lot longer.”

-          Advice for cracking it as an NBA big man guarding other NBA big men.

 

“I don’t know, mate. Just trying English.”

-          Don’t check Steve on his quirky chat because he’ll only go and raise the stakes on you.

 

 “It’s seeing it, understanding it, and then the next game if you’re bloody smart enough, you’ll get up there.”

-          Video sessions, they serve a valuable purpose, mate.

 

 “Mainly me, to be honest. No honestly. Because the play itself you have to execute it properly and it has to be legit down to the team. I screwed up my feet on a couple of them, like in terms of spacing, and they just didn’t get a clean look at it. Everyone plays a part in the play. And so you could say, yeah, the shot doesn’t go in, but to get that shot I didn’t help them any more… you know what I’m saying.”

-          Lots of close defeats early on for OKC. Steve’s wearing those ones himself.

 

“Whatever floats your boat, mate. Tickles your fancy. Up to you.”

-          Not biting on any yarns about old mate Reggie Jackson ahead of a game vs Detroit.

 

“… yeah… yeah… should be good…”

-          Somebody had no idea about the new Thunder uniforms when asked about them.

 

“It just saves a play. That and steals, same concept. PG for instance, he saves plays all those steals that he gets. It’s just one of those saviour ones, you know, slows it down. Again offensive rebounds, that’s all it is. Saves extra plays. Really demoralising to them. It sucks defending against them, you play defence for twenty seconds and you do everything right and then they still get a rebound and you have to play twenty more seconds again. That’s really, really tough.”

-          One of the NBA’s best offensive rebounders lays it down about the value of offensive rebounds.

 

“The ball just went in, you know. That’s all you that can ask for. Hope for the best. I messed up a lot defensively in terms of coverage. I’ll take it though.”

-          Chatting after a career-high 27 points, 11/11 from the field against the Timberwolves.

 

“I dunno, are we friends or something? What’s the narrative here? Ah, he’s all right, mate. He’s all good. He’s a good lad though. Pre-draft, took him to lunch. Yeah, pretty cool. That’s the only memory I have of him.”

-          Some joker asked him if he was glad to see Rudy Gobert back. Recurring rivalry, there.

 

“That's good, mate. Good stuff.”

-          Three straight wins for OKC in early December and Kiwi Steve averaged 22 points and 8.3 rebounds while shooting 28/34 in the streak.

 

“My role? I don’t know, I really haven’t given it much thought. I think the way I play is just my normal mindset. To be honest I’m just happy to be involved.”

-          Dropping yarns with SLAM magazine.

 

“Just gave it a go, mate. Honestly. That’s pretty much all I did. Making the read, you know, whatever. I was just like, ah, give it a shot, hope it goes in.”

-          Old mate whipped out a mean eurostep against the Jazz that had Russell Westbrook and Paul George crowing but there ain’t nothing to it for Steve.

 

“Who the hell is Kareem Jabbar?”

-          Obviously Steven Adams never watched that movie Airplane growing up.

 

“Thank you, squire!”

“Well, yeah, long day shopping, walk around a lot so wanna be comfortable. But then honestly my head’s too big for the Christmas hats so I just grabbed something furry.”

“You a nerd, too? Yes! We nerds! We nerds, bro!”

“No, no, no, I didn’t. He’s probably not a good gamer is all.”

“Whatever Christmas is, mate. The old Santa. But our one’s different because Christmas is in the summer in New Zealand so we got to the beach and stuff like that. That’s the only difference. Other than that it’s just same old Christmassy stuff. Yeah.”

“I prefer the summer one because all the toys you get are stuff you can actually use at the time. Usually you get stuff here, say if you get a bike, it’s icy roads and you can’t do anything for another month or so. Pretty lame. Anti-climax, you know?”

“Probably the old scooter, spun around. I loved it and then I hated it because it spun one time and it hit me in the ankle. Cried so hard, mate, oh my God. Just threw it away after that, I couldn’t use it. Too painful.”

“Yeah I don’t have shoes. That’s the whole thing. That’s why I just wear bare feet all the time everywhere.”

-          So many joyful moments as the Thunder did their annual community Christmas shopping venture down at the local Warehouse (or whatever they call them in Statesville). From sharing gaming tales with his buddy (but not gaming consoles) to reminiscing about the kiwi Xmas…

 

“Put it this way, it was just like an extra urgency. That extra thing that you need. We weren’t really trying to rely solely on the system on defence we were really trying to get a stop, no matter how ugly it looks. Once we’re in that mindset and it’s like complete urgent scramble mode, it’s a good way to be.”

-          Summing it up after a big comeback to win in OT against the Grizzlies.

 

“First try! Make it! Woo!”

-          Never made a three-pointer in the NBA but chucks them in from halfway in training. Along with his favourite: “FIRST TRY!” joke.

 

“Aw gross. Bubblegum just went in my drink. Shit.”

-          Don’t you hate it when that happens?

 

“Sorry, I just got slapped. What was that?”

“Oh, I mean, I don’t care. As long as we bloody win, you know?”

“Old mate.”

-          One of the more eventful post-game interviews you’ll see.

 

“Japan, hands down. Japan. Because the food is bomb. The best Mexican food I ever had was in Japan. Best Italian I've ever had? Japan. Best anything, in Japan. Hands down.”

-          Travel recommendations from Steven Adams.

 

“It’s quite jolly, isn’t it? Rather good, mate. Everyone’s in good spirits. Fun time.”

-          Gotta love a Christmas Day game of basketball. Especially when you win.

 

“Bastard.” (Rumoured)

-          Them cheeky journos, never got anything for ya.

 

“We made shots, which is good. That always helps. The ball just went in the hole a lot more, mate, to be honest.”

-          Eight wins out of ten in late December, early January, and OKC were playing their best stuff of the season. So what changed?

 

“How’s your job right now mate?”

-          Feeling for the PR bloke after Melo let out a swear on live telly.

 

“We 100 percent need the guy because of that reason and it's just the small things that just start snowballing. He makes that extra one step that'll stop that player and that possession. He'll just cut off that whole play. Stuff like that that really kind of pays off and makes everyone else's job easier.”

-          Discussing the value of a certain Andre Roberson as that bloke missed a handful of games with a sore knee. A little prophetic given the season ending injury that’d befall Dre later on.

 

“No, I don’t talk to him at all about that. No need. Can’t say much, can’t say nothing at all. It’s just one of those things you kinda have to go through. Yeah it’s just getting to know the refs as well and the refs gotta know how you play. That’s the biggest thing, they’re still trying to learn and see what you’re doing. He has to just do it himself. Trial and error. But it can’t deter him from being aggressive, doesn’t matter if he fouls out or not. You have to keep doing the same thing and then learn from there.”

-          Laying down the wisdom for rookie Terrance Ferguson about foul trouble.

 

 “Our history classes were different. In New Zealand, we obviously heard about him, very famous dude. I heard about him first in high school in New Zealand. But then when I learned about him was over here when I first came over. Prep school. It’s sick, one of those special moments, you know. Amazing dude and all the boys, we’re all excited. Very special day. Extra meaning behind it.”

-          Chatting about the first time he learned about Martin Luther King and then the feeling of getting to play on MLK Day.

 

“I don’t think I am actually stronger than most guys. It’s weird. I understand how to move and where they’re getting their power from so I take that away. But like if it was a power match, I’d probably lose. Anything power related where they have everything they need and I’ve maxed out everything I need, I’ll probably lose.”

“Oh nothing, I watch a lot of jiu-jitsu. Big fan of it. That’s about where your base is and where you generate power from. Kinda use that. But I’m not choking anyone out or anything. Not yet.”

“No, I’d get injured. Not allowed. Honestly. I’d love to but not allowed.”

-          The secrets to the superhuman strength… Brazilian jiu-jitsu, of course. Watching it though, he’s not allowed to practice it. 

 

“I dunno, I think as a team we’re just executing with pace a lot better, so that’s the scoring part. But I think everyone’s more on a string, trusting each other. Once you have that in a team, everything else works good.”

-          Analysing a solid personal season at the halfway point by complimenting the lads.

 

 “What a douchebag. He shouldn’t have done that, what a dick. He’s being a dick. There’s nothing genuine with me and him, mate, not at all. We’re past that level. If he sends something bad then he means well but if it’s something good then you know he’s taking a stab.”

-          Enes Kanter gave Steven Adams some All Star voting love on twitter and Funaki roasted him for it.

 

“A lot of shots were going in. We moved the ball really well. We took advantage of a lot of the stuff from what they were doing defensively. Once you get that sort of lead, you kind of try to ride that out with the same intensity.”

-          The ups and downs of the OKC season continued but there weren’t many bigger ups than putting 148 points on LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers.

 

“Samson? Who’s Samson? Oh. Is he cool? Oh true, I’ll take it. Sure.”

-          Steve skipped a couple Sunday School lessons and missed the one about Samson and the hair that’s the source of all his power.

 

“What are you doing with my hat on, mate? Get my hat off, bruv. You’re gonna dirty it, you didn’t even shower you gross.”

-          Carmelo Anthony takes a pop at Stevie’s wardrobe choices post-game. While wearing his iconic fuzzy deer-stalker.

 

“It’ shit. It’s real shit. He’s a huge part of our team and why we win. It’s a huge blow to us but we’re just gonna have to rely on some others players to step up.”

-          Aaand down goes Dre. Adams and Roberson are pretty good mates and Adams was right there by his side as the medics came on to treat him after he went down bad in a win over Detroit in late-Jan. Season-ender for Dre and the OKC defence was never the same.

 

“Oh he’s alright mate. Still above ground so can’t complain, you know.”

-          Doctor Adams updating Russell Westbrook’s status after a knock against Memphis. Dude must’ve been watching Scarface because the ‘still above ground’ quote got plenty of use over the rest of the season.

 

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing at all.”

-          What does Alex Abrines bring to the starting lineup? Abrines got his own back, btw.

 

“It’s kind of like watching grass grow. You won’t be able to see the actual outcome unless you compare it with what you started off with. Does that make sense? Because you won’t realise how long it’s grown. One of those things. Once everything’s said and done, looking back on it that’s when you have some sort of pride or success. Every year’s like that for any NBA player.”

-          What constitutes a successful season here, asks NBA TV’s Kristen Ledlow as things take a break for the All Stars.

 

“You can’t look ahead because you’ll put unnecessary pressure and you’re worried about the wrong stuff. We’re taking it game by game and just working on the small things, being in the moment, as they say.”

-          Keeping mindful, bro.

 

“FIRST TRY!”

-          That old chestnut again.

 

 “Why?”

-          The NBA creates a new stat to measure box outs, which pretty much exists to highlight all the dirty, underappreciated work that guys like Steven Adams does and when he learns about it all he can do is laugh and wonder why they bothered.

 

“I started to notice I’d be getting a lot of them, but the team itself … the other team would still get a lot of offensive rebounds because I’m not boxing out and they still have a chance to move around. I might as well start to box out more so the team can secure the rebound, which is better for the outcome of the game rather than just say ‘Oh, you got 10 defensive rebounds. Their team got 10 offensive rebounds.’ That doesn’t make sense.”

-          But seriously, about those box outs…

 

“I heard! That’s surprising. I’m not happy. I really am surprised that he got it. He’s lazy.”

-          Obviously Adams lead the box out stats but who guessed his old mate Enes Kanter would be second?

 

“That’s a heck of a scrabble score”

-          Coming around here dropping your big-ass words like ‘compartmentalise’.

 

“I only teach free throws.”

-          More than a few times he’s called Chef Gordon Ramsay his hero… so how about this exchange!?

 

“Umm, yeah. No comment. It’s just something. It’s a weird stat. I take pride in it in the sense where I’m doing my job for what we’re trying to achieve in a game. But it ain’t like ‘oh, he’s doing an amazing job’. You’re just doing your job. I’ll take credit though, you wanna give me credit for it I’ll take it.”

-          What do you think of leading the league in box outs?

 

“You alright mate?”

-          Among the many things you’ll hear from a mic’d up Steven Adams.

 

“Probably a mince pie. You guys don’t have them over here. It’s like grounded beef in a pie. What you guys call chicken pot pies but with beef. A thousand times better in New Zealand.”

-          Favourite junk food?

 

“Yeah I mean it’s about myself. Pretty much it, mate. I didn’t actually want to do it but someone told me it should be a good idea and they’ll be interested so I was like, okay. Whatever, bro. I didn’t write it, I can barely read mate let alone write a book.”

-          Steve’s got a book coming out but he doesn’t seem to know much about it.

 

 “… But it’s not personal, mate. It’s not personal.”

-          You know all those chats he has with refs after fouls? Personal fouls… but not personal chats.

 

“No, I wasn’t frustrated with the situation. You could say I was walking in his direction but that was also where I needed to set up for the next play.”

-          It might have been a little more personal as Steve clashed with Jusuf Nurkic in a game away in Portland but he wasn’t letting on.

 

“Nah, just the Australopithecus afarensis. Those ones. Day by day until tomorrow. Nah nah nah, you search it up. Australopithecus afarensis. That’s what it is.”

-          What the Thunder medical team called a hip contusion, which knocked him out of a game against San Antonio, got a very different description at the next media opp. Only thing is ‘Australopithecus afarensis’ isn’t a hip injury at all, it’s an extinct hominin from a few billion years ago. That’s a hall of fame deep troll, there.

 

“Turkish Swag Boooiii”

-          Another day of Stache Bro interactions.

 

“Just the confidence, mate. To come out in some of the stuff that he comes out it. It’s outstanding. I would never be able to do it, put it that way. I have no fashion sense, not a lick of fashion sense.”

-          Russell Westbrook’s fashion + Steven Adams’ commentary.

 

“I have the Proclaimers, 500 miles, always good. The new one now is probably Southern Nights by Glen Campbell. Or maybe some Queen actually.”

“I’m no stranger to a chicken tika masala. So I might hit up some Indian. Either that or Middle Eastern.”

“Chef Ramsay, definitely. Have to. Probably the old Queen, mate. Queen of England. Auntie Liz. Freddie Mercury, and him.”

-          Go to karaoke songs, favourite foreign cuisine and ideal dinner party guests. Steven Adams at his best.

 

“Every day thing, mate. Happens every year. Honestly, like, it’s mainly the type of defence. You have to try to be legal, verticality, so you have to face them. Unfortunately Serge is not the most coordinated guy so he ended up, yeah… old mate. What a dick.”

-          Nobody gets hit in the nuts as often as Steven Adams gets hit in the nuts. Even former teammate Serge Ibaka got in on the action as the Thunder dropped by Toronto.

 

“Rest in peace #StephenHawking”

-          Big science buff over here, paying tribute to the great man upon his passing.

 

“Nah it was crap. Honestly it was crap. It wasn’t even a good contest. It was honestly rubbish.”

-          Some missed free throws and then a late dagger from Marcus Morris allowed the Boston Celtics to come back and steal one and the big fella wasn’t rating his defensive contest on that Morris game winner.

 

“Yeah I mean it still holds the same value. It’s just the time difference. If we woulda won back then it woulda held the same value as if we’d won now. Does that answer your question? Am I being weird?”

-          A few dodgy losses down the stretch, are they doing any extra damage to the team?

 

“I did afterwards, after I passed the ball. It was quite funny. I would never. Not at all. That’s a waste of a possession. There’s no way. I’d get destroyed. Old mate over there…”

-          Wide open at the top of the key in a win over Miami and the crowd were desperate to see a three go up but Kiwi Steve was having none of it.

 

“Ken Mauer, you just remember how he throws the ball. Most of them bring it up. Some just toss it up but he steps back and then he tosses the ball. All I’m looking for is just how they mask it, really, because it’s the first one to the ball. You don’t have to jump super high. You just have to get there before anyone.”

-          Yeah, this dude even studies tape of referees and jump balls. Meticulous.

 

“Always a pleasure @lorde never a choir. 5ish years ago”

-          Oh look, Steven Adams has been hanging out with Lorde again.

 

“Blasted spelling! chore. Words are hard.”

-          Quick reply to his own tweet in case you didn’t notice the spelling bugger up.

 

“No idea. Search it up. Do me a favour, mate. Learn about my country.”

-          Who’s in the cool club of New Zealand celebrities? We don’t really do it like that in Aotearoa.

 

 “I haven’t actually seen it but everyone says I look like old mate on there. Apparently he died though, that’s a bit shocking.”

-          Talking Game of Thrones with Michelle Beadle, as you do.

 

 “It’s where I’m from. I think it fits better. A bit more different as well, everyone’s saying their university and stuff, it’s like, eh, I’m from New Zealand. Definitely proud of being a New Zealander.”

-          Steven Adams doesn’t get announced as a Pitt old boy, he gets announced as a New Zealander. Kia kaha.

 

 “Animals are awesome. I just prefer them to human. Hooomans.”

-          Oh damn… time for another trip to the zoo!

 

“People that work here make it really good. From my first experience here. The way they treat the animals and, I dunno, they’re just really good people. That’s why I like the zoo and why I come back.”

 

“They sell out on the paint, this team. The big man is back so they’re already one step in between me and one step to the ball. They’ve always played like that. Tim Duncan was really good at that. These guys do the same, playing right in that sweet spot in between. The weakside on their part was pretty on point.”

-          More basketball genius, this time analysing the Spurs.

 

 “Someone gave them to me for free. My other ones are dirty. So gotta get them washed and then I’ll change back. But I’m wearing them because they’re for free. Free! So good.”

-          In case you were wondering about the origin story behind those slip-ons with his cartoon face on them.

 

“What'd I do now?”

-          Back-chatting the ref, again.

 

“Everyone is just trying to win. Everyone is trying to make the right play to win. In that moment, whatever that play is what it is. You have to live with that.”

-          Just a few games left in the regular season and the Thunder were still battling for their playoffs place but that’s just the way it is.

 

“How’d it taste mate, by the way, the old fire? Fire tastes good? Flames!”

-          Patrick Patterson and Steven Adams went to the Science Museum and 2Patt ate some fire.

 

“I mean yeah, he was cool off the court. He was one of the only ones I actually worked out with. Him and Mike Muscala. Yeah, I actually quite liked him a lot. Went to lunch with Rudy. He’s a good lad.”

-          OKC finished strong to make those playoffs and a fourth seed meant another head to head with Rudy Gobert and the Utah Jazz. A centre that Adams was drafted ahead of back in the day.

 

“Still above ground so can’t complain, mate.”

-          Told you this was a go-to comeback. Dealing with a sore hand and probably a few other things too at the back end of a long season, Adams was making no excuses.

 

“I haven’t watched film but my guess is that the rotations, they were getting downhill a lot easy, which caused us to rotate which allowed them to get good rebounding positions and also the rotational box outs with some of those. But that’s not the excuse, really. It’s still just being smart about where that guy is and driving him out to where it’s a low percentage rebound rate.”

-          After a comfortable win in game one, the Jazz got them back in the second. Crazy how well Steve can not only read a game but also explain it.

 

“Yeah I mean I was tempered, mate. Bit rowdy. I was ropable. But it’s just one of those things mate. Playoffs, mate. Absolutely fun. Unbelievably fun and just all the emotion and stuff into it.”

-          Fouling out of game two led Funaki to express some rare anger.

 

“You alright mate? Old mate, aye. Jeezus. As you were saying, sir?”

-          Maybe let the bloke finish talking before interrupting, aye?

 

“YESSS! FIRST TRY! FIRST TRY!”

-          Still at it with that one. Never gets old.

 

 “Not a miscommunication. Just a kind of mental error, as in just a weird read. They had the right intentions but it wasn’t for that particular play they were running. So, should’ve stayed there.”

-          As the series went on, the Jazz started to work their magic and send Thunder defenders running all over the show. Not the best signs.

 

“I have a problem with every call. But the thing is like, they’re calling it and it’s a valid call. If they call it, that’s what it is. One of those ones.”

-          Foul trouble continued to haunt the lad as Utah took a 2-1 lead. Can’t be holding grudges against the refs though.

 

“Nah it was different, my rookie year. I wasn’t allowed to talk to the refs, to be honest. You have to earn their respect. Whatever calls they give you, you’ve just gotta live with it. Especially how I was playing, just meathead bro, throwing my body around.”

-          Refereeing politics, 101.

 

 “I think his one’s cleaner. He washes his hair a lot more than me, probably.”

-          To the important stuff now… who has the superior bun, Ricky Rubio or Steven Adams?

 

“Oooh, good on him. I hate him though. But I like One Piece.”

-          Noted anime fan Steven Adams reacts to Rudy Gobert’s custom One Piece kicks.

 

“You know how when you meet someone and they're really ignorant, but they're really happy? Because they don't know any better, and everything seems great? That's what I see. Just completely clueless and everything's fuckin' roses and daisies.”

“I could play [video games] 10 hours straight when I was a kid. I'd just be at home anyway, go help my dad or whatever, stack firewood, chop down a tree or some shit, but after that, I was just like, 'Oh yeah!' and game the rest of the day.”

“In New Zealand, you get the well-known people, but you won't look at them for like a moral compass. Over here, some people look to these athletes to, like, solve their problems. It's like, 'Bro, we play basketball.' If you're going through something serious, go see a psychologist.”

“I don't look into it too much, it's just who I am. See, because I'm weird. I'm really fucking weird. Socially awkward, at best. Just bizarre, say weird stuff all the time. So I don't look into relationships too much. Like, 'Ah we had this one moment.' Nothing like that. It's just, 'Shit, does he like me? This is who I am, go fuck yourself if you don't like me.'"

-          Some absolute gems from Royce Young’s feature on Steven Adams for ESPN.

 

“I’m pretty sure he’ll get quite the reception when he gets there. Get a good little clap. Be funny if he doesn’t, that’d be amazing!”

-          Game five and they needed some extra help facing down elimination… so Enes Kanter flew into town. Granted, only to watch.

 

“Nothing at all. I hate that guy. He’s a scumbag. No, honestly, it’s good that he came out. All the boys were happy to see him. Short spurts with him. Short spurts.”

-          And then afterwards, with Enes’ presence completing the Stache Bro combo and helping (along with a legendary performance from Russell Westbrook) inspire OKC to a miraculous second half comeback to extend the series into game six.

 

“Without getting too into it I thought the effort was there, the passion was there. But that’s expected from us. We gave it a pretty good shot, obviously it was going back and forth and stuff and then a lot of opportunities at the end there. But that’s the way the game goes. Those possessions there hold just as much value as the first ones. There were a lot of lapses throughout the game.”

-          They pushed it close… but Utah were too good on the day and too good in the series. OKC eliminated in six games in the first round.

 

[Following a long, bemused look] “It’s been a really long time, honestly. It’s gross, it’s gross. It might’ve been Jan… December. December. Which is pretty long.”

-          Say, Steve, when did you last cut your hair?

 

“It’s challenging every year. You face different problems every year with any team, you know. Even if you’ve been with that team you’re just familiar but you still have different problems that need to be fixed. I can’t point out any specific ones but I know that we didn’t go back. We always progressed throughout the whole year.”

-          Tell us about the challenges of the OK3 Era…

 

“I’m only gonna shoot it if it’s good enough for the team to win. It’s good if you’re very versatile and stuff but it comes down to the strategy of the game what’s gonna ultimately lead to a win. I ain’t just gonna jack up a shot just because I feel like it. It has to be, you know, approved by coaches, whatnot, all through the mix. I’m comfortable shooting it. The tough part is just making them. But I’ll shoot them, I’ll shoot the hell out of them. Say the word!”

-          Bro, how come you never shoot threes?

 

“Does that make sense? Good. God, English is hard.”

-          No arguments here

 

“I don’t know, mate. I mean obviously I don’t have any plans. Probably pop into Japan though, get a good old bowl of ramen. Always nice.”

-          What’s the offseason got in store for Steven Adams?

 

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THE QUOTABLE STEVEN ADAMS: 2015-16 EDITION

THE QUOTABLE STEVEN ADAMS: 2016-17 EDITION